FYI: Blake Lively Has Only Sexed On 4 Dudes In Her Life

When you've got the personality of McDonald's cow butt paste (RIP!) like Blake Lively does, you have to reach deep to pull out some interesting shit that won't' make the interviewer fall into an open-eyed coma. Blake went there during an interview with Elle Magazine and told them a million fascinating facts about herself like how many peens her vagina has sucked on and how she hopes to birth out a girl or a trans baby one day. That slight tingle in your brain is a "The More You Know" star shooting through the inside of your head:

On how her Fuck Club punch card only has four holes in it: “I’ve had four boyfriends in my whole life. I’ve never been with anyone that’s not a boyfriend. If I spend time with a man, it’s because there’s somebody that I know well who has been a friend for a while.“

On how she hopes to have a daughter or a son-to-daughter one day: “I hope to have a few girls one day. If not girls, they better be trannies. Because I have some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated.”

Yesterday GOOPY Paltrow said she thought Apple would be a butch lez and today Blake Lively is saying that she hopes she has a tranny. Tomorrow, Katherine Heigl is going to top all of those blonde bitches by saying, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, well I'm going to adopt a female-to-male tranny bull dyke! TOP THAT!"

Blake did use the word "trannies" and that's going to get her at least one open letter from GLADD, so that stretches this interview's 15 seconds of fame. Slow clap for you, girl.

And I know we should use this time together to figure out the four boyfriends Blake is talking about (SPOILER ALERT: Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Penn Badgleywhatever and who ever she had to fuck to get that short-term relationship contract with Leonardo DiCaprio), but instead I'm going to talk about what Elle did to her ass in these pictures. Who at Elle thought this shit looked sexy? Look at that picture above. Blake looks cold and hot at the same time. I can't really explain it, but that picture reminds me of when they pulled Baby Jessica out of the well. Baby Jessica was wet, confused, uncomfortable, scared and you didn't know whether she wanted a blanket or a fan. So I guess Elle was going for "sexy Baby Jessica." Just....WRONG.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by CryWolf on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:51pm.

"Oh Nooo don't go out THERE. What? I tried to warn her." I'll gladly be her fifth. Just name the time and place, babe.

Submitted by WildGuy on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 2:25pm.

Yeah, the other 600 hundred dudes that sexed on her don't count.

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 8:03am.

way to take what she claims out of context.

she actually only REMEMBERS four. the rest are dim drunk amnesic episodes.

Submitted by LMA618 on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 12:26am.

Blake's team 'anal and bj's don't count'. Which is what any vacation bible study will tell you.

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:37pm.

I loved Teen Witch. MK pulls out all the obscure 80s stuff that speaks to my dead soul. ;)

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 10:26pm.

First of all, she's 24. She's not Lauren Bacall or something. I'm not sure you can be only 24 and already bragging how not-slutty you are.

Second, everything she said is ambiguous. "Had," "been with," and "spend time with" are subject to interpretation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 8:38pm.

Submitted by Cara on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 3:00pm.
Reminds me of that scene from Clerks...

But you said you only slept with three different guys? I didn't sleep with him, I just sucked his cock. How many cocks have you sucked? 37.

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"Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot!"

awesome movie. Kevin Smith for the win.

o/t, why are people still paying attention to this boring chick. What is she famous for anyway besides screwing on Ben Affleck? Her performance in the Town, which was not that great a movie anyway, was awful. Hollywood needs to get a new "it" girl already.

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Never question Bruce Dickinson!

Submitted by Emilie007 on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 6:19pm.

LIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

http://peppersteakandpolyester.wordpress.com

Submitted by sinjin on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 5:17pm.

Submitted by Dog : Sinjin, look at these vids!

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Cute cat overload! I liked those apps. :-)

Submitted by Wood Dragon on Sun, 02/05/2012 - 11:28pm.

Well that tells me she sucks in bed.
Chicks like her force you to yell from time to time, "hey this is a two person activity. Move your ass a little would ya?"

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 2:38pm.

"Submitted by Cara on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 3:00pm.
Reminds me of that scene from Clerks...
But you said you only slept with three different guys? I didn't sleep with him, I just sucked his cock. How many cocks have you sucked? 37."

I LOVED CLERKS... "My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad." HAhahahahahahaha

AND CLERKS II, "Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth" ass to mouth! LMFAO!!!

do.not.get.me.started! :)

"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 2:30pm.

"Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:39pm.
...this one should go right to Charlie Sheen's porn farm and stay there."
~
hehehehehehe I don't think she's his type. Too *whorey wholesome* a la Hathaway, Swift, Heigl and so on... Sorry! LOL at this!

*Btw, this bitch did fucktimes to Weinstein? hahahah
C-H-E-L-S-E-A wannabe! Hurrlghh!!

"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 2:20pm.

only 4? that means she has a 50% douchebag rate.

sad.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:54pm.

She needs Ty Ty to teach her how to smize. Bitch looks like she just took a huge dump.

Submitted by Cara on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:30pm.

Reminds me of that scene from Clerks...

But you said you only slept with three different guys? I didn't sleep with him, I just sucked his cock. How many cocks have you sucked? 37.

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:49pm.

I lost 20lbs in 2 months because I ended up with two dogs (one my own, one left with me indefinitely) and they don't get along, so not only do I have to keep them in separate rooms in my apartment, I have to walk them separately.

That means 4 times a day at least (2 times a day for each dog).

At least 6-8 blocks so they can get proper exercise, fresh air and a chance to poop. My walks sometimes include the park. I was dying at first, but instead of taking them back to the NYC Animal Shelter where they would mostly likely be put down (since that's where they came from- shelter dogs- and they are pit mix breeds and NYC kills their homeless dogs wholesale), I just grin and bear it. And all that walking paid off, unintentionally. I feel better and stronger, thanks to the dogs.

Which goes to show you, you don't need fancy workout tapes. Just get off your fat ass and move it. Good things will happen. *s*
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:38pm.

Submitted by orangebella on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:40pm.
I just got the 30day shred work out DVD.

GD Jillian Michaels is a beast. I just made it to level 2 the other day and my hamstrings are still sore! I love it. I just ordered another one of her videos, to get my cardio going. I have a 24hour pass but I am going to cancel it. Honestly I sweat more with her in 25 minutes than I do in an hour being on the elliptical. I want to look bangin' this summer

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You keep it up and you will have the slammin' body for the summer. I would get the Julian Michael's workout, but I can't stand looking at her. She just looks so evil to me *LOL*

I thought about getting Metamorphosis by Tracy Anderson, but she's involved with GOOP and I can't stand the pretentious GOOP and I don't want to help GOOP's friends. But it is a good work out too.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:37pm.

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:28pm.
OMG who has cats???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36Jb3VhwK00

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I got that app and showed it to my cat and he was interested in it for like 30 seconds. Which is probably how long he'd be interested in a real live mouse in front of him. He haz lazy.

Submitted by contrario on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:35pm.

Blake looks way better than Scameron Sdiaz

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:30pm.

@BangoSkank, is your avie one of the illustrations from Stephen King's Dark Tower series?

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:34pm.

Angelina Jolie said the same thing a few years back and no one bought that either.

I'm with Chris Rock. Never ask a woman how many men she slept with. She's only going to tell you about her relationships, not the one-night-stands or the suck-offs in the club. Women are NEVER honest about the guys who bent them over and fucked them into unconsciousness.

With that said, she's not a good actress either. Ryan definitely went down a peg when he hooked up with her.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:14pm.

I also enjoy the chia seeds! I make banana pudding with it, yum. And if you eat just a little you stay full for a long time.

Submitted by orangebella on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:10pm.

I just got the 30day shred work out DVD.

Submitted by yepyepyep on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:09pm.

ME where did you get the insanity workout thing I want to buy it

"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma

Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:09pm.

what does she do?I can't eve rage on "I hope my child feels that they are born the wrong gender so that I can have a doll to play dress-up with," because it's not worth it, but this one should go right to Charlie Sheen's porn farm and stay there.

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Juniperjump on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:09pm.

Lol - WTF has happened to magazines these days? Is it just any old Dick or Harry behind the lens? What in the world is even remotely sexy or attractive about those pictures? It's laughable. Same thing goes for the recent Harper's Bazar cover with that Jagger girl on the front. You know - the one that could eat an apple through a wire fence. The pictures are simply atrocious. These girls aren't attractive. JUST STOP.

I must disagree on one thing though - the ultimate butterface has just got to Cameron Diaz.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:08pm.

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:37pm.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:07pm.

Her future husband will think that is 3 or 4 too many.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:06pm.

So, I guess it doesnt count if you screw in a club's stall or car? :D I'm practically a virgin then!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:04pm.

M.E. LEANDRO!!!! He's fabulous!! My sister and I did that Brazilian Butt lift and it was a great work out for the droopy cheeks and calves. No lie, he will have you sweating!

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:01pm.

GG - LMAO! The first time I tried the Insanity work out I threw up after 10 minutes.

I can get all the way through it now, but I don't go as fast as the instructor does.

I saw a commercial last night, which Beachbody sells, a workout for your butt called "Brazil Butt Lift". I wanna try it.

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/brazil_butt_lift.do?co...

In high school I used to do the Buns of Steel work out tapes. LOVED them.

Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:58am.

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:09am.
If she uses the formula that my whorey friends and I came up with years ago that two years after you stop banging someone they're off your record like a traffic ticket then I buy it.

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I like your formula! Wow, just 1 for me using that logic. In college, my roomate and I had the Rule of Three:

How many drinks have you had? 3
How many people have you slept with? 3
What time did you get home? 3

*Writes this shit down* You are both goddesses!!

Submitted by BangoSkank on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:56am.

"(btw I found your 20 lbs, in my ass! LOL)"

Pics please. =)

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:53am.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:15am.
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU DON'T SPEND THE NIGHT!! DUHHHH

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LOL Jack likes TEH VAMPIRE SEX: out of there before the sun comes up!

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:50am.

She is the definition of butter face. Smoking body, but meh looks and personality. Hopefully, she will go the way of other Weinstein protege, Gretchen Moll, and disappear from the face of the earth.

Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:45am.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:09am.
If she uses the formula that my whorey friends and I came up with years ago that two years after you stop banging someone they're off your record like a traffic ticket then I buy it.

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Taking notes on this new formula.

Submitted by Wanted on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:45am.

COLD OATMEAL. next please.

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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:44am.

M.E I think you are a masochist(sp w/e) to do anything from the makers of PX90. I tried the PX90 and I thought I was gonna die!

Submitted by yepyepyep on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:34am.

ME
what insanity DVD I been looking for in amazon
I am going to try the Chia seeds(ps that gel looks like passion fruit seeds I looked it up)
I am also going to buy 30 day shred pheww
I walk a lot been walking 2 hours with my dogs everyday (4miles) without counting my commute up stairs down etc.. I really want to tone up and lose 10lbs so I can be 125 or 120.
The hard thing will be the no white diet and cut down red meat to once a week, Im dominican I NEED WHITE RICE!! :( by summer I will ripped
I got flax seeds but been using it mostly for the dogs. I mean a walk a lot and I dont feel toned that much, I have a bubble but I doubt it ever will be rock hard.

"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:30am.

Four? Ho, please.

Four (maybe) to get her job on that TV show, 'cause her acting stinks.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:30am.

Oatmealy trying to look dirrrrty with messy hair.oooooooh! From the neck down, she looks MUCH hotter than her usual boring vanilla self. Hahahahahahaha 4 bf's LMAO! Bitch DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!!! Everyone has been your "boyfriend" Hahahahha

As for celebs saying they hope their kids are gay, lesbian, etc. I hope they mean it, because more than likely they're just dumb fucks spurting diarrhea nonsense! I give people the benefit of the doubt, but these cunts would probably be singing a different tune if it actually came to be. Such BS!

Still on the fence about St. Ange overdoing it with Shiloh. Because if this kid weren't the spawn of someone famous, and she was dressed like that, NO ONE would bat an eyelash. So I give St. Ange, one inch for that. LOL!

"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK

Submitted by didimao on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:30am.

Dog there is also Zappos. Not sure if you have heard of them. http://www.zappos.com/

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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:28am.

Submitted by sinjin on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:27pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:38am.
*knock, knock, knock* sinjin
*knock, knock, knock* sinjin
*knock, knock, knock* sinjin
==========================================

*knock, knock, knock* sinjin
*knock, knock, knock* sinjin
*knock, knock, knock* JACK

"that's just wrooong"

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:17am.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 12:08pm.

I've started alternating the 30-day Shred with the "Insanity" work out DVD from the makers of P90x. It is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----> I get exhausted just watching "Insanity" as I enjoy a cold beer in my nice frosty mug, while eating turtle chocolates waiting for my pizza to be delivered. So far I've manage to lose 2oz. It is HARD on a lazy bitch!

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:15am.

Bango! congrats, that's awesome! (btw I found your 20 lbs, in my ass! LOL)

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky