Chris Brown Didn't Want You To Know That He Was At RiRi's Birthday Party
I've already posted one picture of Chris Brown's mouth-breathing face today and we're all going to sleep in a shell made of roach motels after watching Pimp Mama Kris give birth to the Kardashians, so I figured that we've all been put through enough horrifying disgustingness for today and deserve a bouquet of kittens! Because even though the story below is some head shaking shit, it won't be that annoying when you've got a bouquet of young pussies to distract you for a second. Just don't tell me that the kitten in the middle is suffocating.
Outraged parents of America, organize your RiRi CD burning parties, because she's definitely riding on Chris Brown's skinny yard stick dick again. TMZ says that Chris went to RiRi's birthday party at the Hearst Mansion on Monday night and behaved like the ass bag that he is by making everybody sign a confidentiality agreement before he went inside. That party was obviously full of dumb bitches, because most of them signed an agreement stating that they will not tell the media that Chris was at RiRi's party. Once Chris' bodyguards collected all the signed agreements, the spoiled piece of shit went inside and spent most of the night getting on RiRi. Chris' rep says that he was at the party, but he only made the workers and people who took his picture sign the agreements.
There's also a rumor that Chris will sing on RiRi's Birthday Cake (Remix). I think an Ike & Tina cover would be more appropriate, but that's just me.
Chris Brown and RiRi hugging each other at her party after he made her guests sign some stupid shit is the reason why we can roll our eyes. Sometimes you just have to respond to a story with a lukewarm: whatthefuckever. Let's look at cake instead!
Yes, that is RiRi's actual cake. At first I thought it was Mousie from Mi Vida Loca riding a severed uncut dick or a piece of white dog shit. Then I figured out that it was RiRi riding a giant joint spliff. RiR's cake, please meet Cakewrecks. Leave it to RiRi to make a delicious joint spliff look like a visual dry heave. The pimple on my nipple looks more like RiRi that that shit on her cake does.
My 6-year-old self could've made a better cake in my sister's half-broken Easy Bake Oven and I was dumber then than I am now (or is it, I was smarter then than I am now?). RiRi's party sounds about as pleasant as sucking on a urinal cake. You've got RiRi and Chris making out in the corner and an ugly cake. Every single ho at the party could probably tell exactly how many tiles were on the ceiling, because that's what they stared at all night since it was the only safe place for their eyes to go.
I didn't need Rascal to tell me the top two rows are shopped but that still doesn't tell me where the kitty head 2nd from the right is or how he's breathing with his head buried. Adorable kitties, I'd take one right now and I've sworn off hair releasing pets.
Where is the kitty's head on the bottom row, 2nd from the right? Under his thumb? There are four bodies and only three heads? Where is the kitty head? Where????? Save the kitty!! Help!
I LOVE (!!!) that bouquet of kittens! Thanks, MK.
I hope that this will be the end of her career. Not because I blame the victim but because she is a role model for so many young girls who'll think that going back to your abuser is the right thing to do and that by going back, the abuse couldn't have been that severe, after all.
I'm really asking myself where her parents are? She really doesn't seem to have any person around telling her to go to therapy and get out of that vicious circle.
We are all witnessing Whitney part 2 happening.
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
I wish FTD made a Bouquet o' Kittens. I would send it.
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Ummmm....I thought that was the giant white dick she was riding into stardom.
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
Submitted by watermethodgirl on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 10:31am
no, she's a kinky Barbadian thing that no one understands
Who cares? They are both idiots who make crappy music and I am tired of reading about are they or aren't they.
If the story had not been leaked, she would have never left.
I am over it.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Man, ya'lls be harsh with RiRi! It really is hard to stop loving someone just because they beat you, and I'm being serious. It's a real mental fuck-up. It takes a lot of therapy and whatnot. If this were some America's darling you all loved I don't know if everyone would be so mean about it.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 10:26am.
And it probably won't be as quiet a death as Whitney's. She'll probably get beaten to death.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
For every Lorena Bobbitt and Kieu Becker, there are thousands of Rihannas. I used to live next door to a guy that beat his girlfriend regularly. She finally got tired of that shit and shot him in the head. Didn’t kill him though, just fucked up his motor skills. Years later, I saw him in a club and he told me she got away with it and ruined his life. He assumed absolutely no responsibility.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 9:57am.
Blaming the victim is necessary to maintaining the status quo. If we ever held abusers completely and solely responsible for their actions, abuse might actually stop.
Then the lesser misogynists, the ones who merely criticize women's bodies, go to strip clubs, and watch porn, but think they are not woman haters because they don't actually hit women with their fists, wouldn't have anybody to feel better than. And there might be more of us giving their supposedly consensual and harmless "choices" the stink eye.
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"Sex can never be a politically neutral interaction as long as the interests of one party are by universal decree prioritized over the interests of the other." -- http://bit.ly/y8oRWL
that's one crappy looking cake. i can't stand princess riri so if i don't care what happens to her. she's a skank.
Yeah MK, let us know you are ok next time! Twitter! *kisses* ;p
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
Submitted by watermethodgirl on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 10:31am.
Why is she riding a tampon? Is that some kinky american thing that europeans don't understand?
my thoughts exactly. why a giant tampon?
Yes, I was at the party... but you are not supposed to know that because I made everyone sign shit so they wouldn't tell... Please disregard what I am saying, I was not there... I kid!
fuckin idiot.
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Why is she riding a tampon? Is that some kinky american thing that europeans don't understand?
i see four or five kitties and a bunch of photoshopped ones.
so - CB has people sign a confidentiality agreement, and his publicist talks about it? what kind of bullshit is that?
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
RiRi is gonna end up just like Whitney, but probably much sooner.
Sad.
Rihanna is such a skank. BEYONCE has more class than she does. And thatäs saying something.
Well, if you believe the blind item sites, she's actually a lesbian. I'd venture to say she keeps him around to keep the tabloids fixated on their "relationship", while she has a real girlfriend(s) on the sly.
Submitted by ElleDriver on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 10:10am.
Thank you!
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 10:03am.
I know somebody else already asked this, but does anybody know what that thing is by her foot? Because it looks like a syringe.
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I thought the same thing too, but it's a birthday candle holder.
I know somebody else already asked this, but does anybody know what that thing is by her foot? Because it looks like a syringe.
I knew this dumbass guy who got a syringe with a happy face tattooed on his leg. It's like a "LOSER" stamp. I don't know why he did that, but at least it shows future possible mates of his a warning sign, so I guess it's kind of a good thing...?
Submitted by bonghits4jesus on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:30pm.
i didn't know that the claymation people at celebrity deathmatch made cakes too.
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Hahahaha! It so looks like that-- Celebrity Deathmatch RiRi wrestles with a boudin blanc.
People, be more gentle with RiRi, please. I've known several women (and one man) in her situation, and they were all very nice but confused people being controlled by keen manipulators. Please don't underestimate the power of these types of situations. RiRi should not ever get the shit beat out of her like she did; it was his fault. And the reasons that she's letting him back in are very complicated and something we'll never understand because we'll never get the chance to walk a mile in her shoes.
RiRi is an idiot.
WHY is she putting herself out there for an ex like that? He's an Ex. If I found out an Ex was going to make everyone at my party sign some Confidentiality waiver, I would be like.. sorry too much effort, its not worth it for me and my friends.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 9:35am.
you like EVERY cuddly pussy... pfft!... WHORE!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
riri and chris can go to hell. fuck 'em.
i like them hot cuddly pussies.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
KITTEHS! Kittehs make everything better, even when we have to hear about human turds like Chris Brown.
Just look at the kitties and smile!
Oh and that cake is shit. She needs to buy something from that brilliant Baltimore place. It looks like it was done by an amateur.
Is that a dick or a blunt? And it sez a lot about the quality that I can't tell.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
but at the end of the day, I could give two fucks bout these two. I can barely stand their self entitled attention whoring asses, but the hypocritical nature of human beings in this situation is riiiiiidickulous. Like after three years, maybe homie should be allowed one more fuck up of domestic abuse before he is sent to the crucifix for life. Shit.
so Rih Rih is expected to NEVER want to talk to CB EVER again? A ONE time offender? I can't with holier than thou fucks these days.
awww...an armful of kitties...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
this can only end well
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
Kitty babies!
Who cares about the other shit.
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"Sex can never be a politically neutral interaction as long as the interests of one party are by universal decree prioritized over the interests of the other." -- http://bit.ly/y8oRWL
My birthday is in a few weeks, I think I may buy me a supermarket cake, which costs like $25 and looks way better than this shit. I'm still staring it 10 mins later, trying to process how anyone thought this looked good.
Hey, Welcome Back! MK I think the gum and used condom you used to repair the server came loose last night. I still think Whitney was your HBIC, ever since the moment I heard she died it's been pretty wonky here. Hope you have a good Friday, I have to go into work at this hour so I'm not.
(Dust off Twatter if you're going to be down for hours and hours and let us know yer OK and looking for more gum!)
Submitted by catwoman on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 8:51pm.
*hides face in shame while pouring yet another rum and come to erase the high school loser memory*
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Rum and come? Really?!!
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...the end
Is that a hypodermic needle by her cake foot?
RiRi will be the next Whitney. I think that girl parties hard and harder.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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I once made a kitten bouquet!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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All that money and she couldn't afford to pay for a better looking cake?
And that's pretty bad photoshop up there. Lol
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Who in the Publix Birthday cake (those cakes are delicious btw) hell actually approved this mess?! It looks like a bi-racial chola riding a sushi roll that's been sitting out in the sun. And I have no words for Ike and Tina 2.0 This is what happens when you let two dumb ass kids with two much money rip and run all over the place with no kind of guidance.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
I thought that was a giant white penis when I first saw this on TMZ. Then I thought, who's the chick, can't be RiRi, and then, what is it with these dopes, first Miley and now RiRi.
LMAO, I had to come here to find out it was a blunt.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 10:17pm.
wouldnt it be fun to have all those kitties in bed with you all purring and running around and snuggling with you?
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Yes, yes it would!!!
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 10:21pm.
Everybody worried about the kitties should scroll down and read what rascal pointed out. You'll feel stupid. It's very obvious if you look carefully.
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Totally agree. People piss and moan without even LOOKING at the picture.
SMH
I know blind items appear to make out that EVERY male urban artist is gay. But I always believed it with Chris Brown..
he's just so flagrantly flamboyant with his attitude and looks, and even painting his car like Tom Cruises plane, righttttt. Kitsch.
Everybody worried about the kitties should scroll down and read what rascal pointed out. You'll feel stupid. It's very obvious if you look carefully.
i just noticed the picture in a fake. there are only about half those kittens. they are duplicated.
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wouldnt it be fun to have all those kitties in bed with you all purring and running around and snuggling with you?