Chris Brown Knows How To Charm A Ho
Chris Brown, the crusty wart clinging to the ass lips of earth, is already a noted Twitter poet and so it's no surprise that he's a gifted wordsmith all the time. Contrary to popular belief, Chris Brown doesn't gets his hos by hitting them over the head with a club before dragging them to his cave up in the hills to rabidly hump on them. No, Chris Brown is a master of romance and knows exactly what to say to a lady to make her swoon from all her parts. Oh, did I say swoon? I meant that Chris Brown knows exactly what to say to a lady to make her spew out a river of barf that will carry her to the nearest nunnery where she'll open her life to the lord and close her chocha to ALL MEN.
I used to think that nothing could make me consider a life of celibacy (and this is coming from a whore who could easily find a way to fap to the Chyna sex tape) until I went to GrossUSOutWeekly and read the pick-up line that Fist Brown allegedly used on a girl.
Chris Brown -- who pleaded guilty in 2009 for felony assault for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna -- confidently approached an attractive brunette Feb. 10 at the Lasio Professional Hair Care suite Grammy gift lounge and asked her, "Can I get your number? I promise I won't beat you!" the woman tells Us Weekly."He and his friends laughed, then one yelled, 'That's his new line!' Ugh! I wanted to throw up!"
In 100 years, the 2112 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica (Britannica is going to make a huge comeback, trust me) will cite Chris Brown's pick-up line as the catalyst for the infamous Running of the Clits. Seriously, I didn't even know I had a clit until it ran up my asshole after reading that shit.
And of course, Chris Brown's spokeswhore is denying that mess came out of his mouth: "I'd be surprised if Chris said something that stupid."
Yes, because Chris Brown never shits up piles of stupid:
You win, Chris Brown's spokeswhore.
Submitted by hautevoltage2 on Sat, 02/18/2012 - 1:04pm.
hes so hot!! don't we forgive & forget in this country? its not like if he were to hit you, you would not take him back? please!! women almost always take there guy's back even if they hit them and then especially if hes hot like CHRIS BROWN get over it! rihanna is no saint.!!! #DADDY
voodooCHILD
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You can't even spell, or use any correct grammar, so it is no surprise that you would defend that piece of shit. Let him beat you if you wish, but DO NOT speak for other women..
You IDIOT.
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The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
-Huey Lewis & The News
PORQUE NO LO AMAN? NO ENTIENDO! U GURRRLz ACT LIKE IF Chris Brown BROWN HIT U, U WOULN'T TAKE HIM BACK !!! PUHLeaZE!!! u GURRRLz TAKE BACK WORST LOW LIFES!!! #DADDY
hes so hot!! don't we forgive & forget in this country? its not like if he were to hit you, you would not take him back? please!! women almost always take there guy's back even if they hit them and then especially if hes hot like CHRIS BROWN get over it! rihanna is no saint.!!! #DADDY
voodooCHILD
This micro-talented douchebag should have his "music" permanently relegated to the $1 CD bin at Walmart.
And those ignorant whores who want to get beaten by him obviously have zero self-esteem and think they don't deserve to be treated properly. I say, give them what they want.
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My "give a fuck" is still broken but my "go fuck yourself" is fully functional.
MAEK IT STOPP, PLOX!
Chris Brown is SO NOOOOT invited to this prom. Just sayin'..
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*major eye roll* at some posts on this thread.
I am sure some of you CB defenders would think a bit differently if it were you, your daughter, sister, mother or friend being beaten by a man, then again , maybe not.
And NO, a man should never be forgiven for beating on a woman, and it isn't necessary for me to post why, because that should be obvious.
Some of the comments here are disturbing - she 'provoked' him into beating her? WHAT THE FUCK?
She 'escalated' it? No, he's the fucker who took it to the next step by beating her.
He's sorry this got out and hurt his image and career for a while. Not for beating her.
A REAL MAN does not beat a woman.
And these idiotic women asking to be beaten by that fucking douche CB need their pea-sized brains examined.
Fuck. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people??
The ultimate 'fuck off' would be if he actually had talent and truly deserved to win that grammy. However, since that is very, very far from the truth, we continue to laugh at this gobshite and hope someday, that some other creep will eclipse him because that's how it works since his music has no staying power.
who said she shouldn't have tried to defend herself? I would've ripped a dick off, myself. I was just informing whipper that she did defend herself because they hadn't read that part. I see reading is still fundamental for many.....
And I'm not saying he isn't in the wrong, but I am saying Lil Miss Sunshine and Innocent did not behave in a manner that was at all sunshiny or innocent....or even smart.
If your man is beating on you then you probably need to not snoop in his shit, or provoke him excessively, or if you see him willing out, go ahead and get the fuck out the car, if you're getting whooped, call the po po, not your friends...
better yet, dump him....and never EVER look back.
the fact that she maneuvers herself to be in his vicinity speaks volumes!!! this chick is not right!
All "abuse" situations are not the same And sometimes unfortunately a woman has to take responsibility in the escalation of the problem. after observing Rihanna in public a few years it seems clear that she has anger and esteem issues of her own that she needs addressed.
The sad thing is...someone like CB can not promise anything like that.
He is the biggest and grossest DOUCHE on the planet. His fans are such fucking idiots.
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:12pm.
@whippersnapper
the report I read said she tried tio defend herself and gouge his eyes out
it also said she read thru his phone and started an argument and that the first thing he did was pull over and told her to gets to stepping and she refused
after SHE provoked and argument and refused to leave he snapped
she also called and texted several people....not one of which was the po-po
you can also observe that she has an attitude issue over the past 3 years and is a mouthy wench...just from her twitter
........................................
This comment is fucking ridiculous.Apparently she shouldn't have tried to defend herself when he was punching her in the face. It's as if women have to be perfect little victim in order to have the right to complain.No she didn't provoke this tool into destroying her face. I've readthe same report and the only thing it showed was C. Brown has no business to do with women ever. She tried to call for help, but since it wasn't the police ooooo she must have deserved it. Who cares if she as an attitude, this man is trash and he should fucking disappear.
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-Le seigneur l'a châtié, il a rejoint le paradis des hommes sans tête!!!
-hein??
-il veut dire qu'on lui a grenadé la gueule.
Tequila Tax, it's never too late - they still tour now and then, no?
I saw them at the Bell Centre in Montreal 4 or so years ago, and they were absolutely phenomenal.
This was no "aging rock stars ran out of coke money" kind of show. They were the consummate professionals - every song appeared effortless, the guitarist was a total virtuoso and Robert plays pretty well himself.
They did at least 5 encores and the crowd (real mix of ages - I did not feel old at 36) just screamed for more.
I'd put them right up there with the Stones or Prince - not that these are similar acts in any way, but that they are so damned skilled. (Although when I saw Prince I felt like he was just sorta snottily phoning it in...)
Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:03pm.
I still love The Cure. Wish I had gone to one of their concerts when I was younger. (Was too poor to go)
This inadequate "man" is riding on borrowed time. The judge did us all a disservice by releasing him and allowing him the opportunity to victimize someone else. I have no doubt that he will eventually end up in prison. A Grammy is worthless in there, unless he's able to trade it for something of value.
He is garbage. The real problem here, forgiveness aside, is that his music is this wannabe fake thug rap, party and bullshit, heavy on the bullshit and there is no party because he's crying about the h8ers all the time. One of his dumbass rap nobodies even brings up Ike and Tina on one track in a way that blames shit on Tina. I remember listening to the track. I think the rapper is Tyga? Some newer guy that Lil Wayne is pushing.
Anyway, the idea that there is something that is too stupid for Chris Brown to say or do does not fit the evidence and the spokesbitch should just deny everything that can't be proven and keep smiling. As far as Chris goes he has already had so much of the good life at a young age and he is unhappy? He's a moron. Some people would never forgive him but a lot of people would like to at least stop thinking about him and Rihanna for a day or two just to get a break. He brings this shit with his twitter bullshit and breaking windows and just basically acting like the world really owes it to him to see him as something besides a piece of garbage. That won't happen. He's not even Grammy Award Winner Chris Brown. He's still the violent moron asshole that beat Rihanna and also won a Grammy. That's his legacy and he needs to deal it.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
@whippersnapper
"Ouch" LMAO
Submitted by SOserious on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:21pm.
@whippersnapper
Dude! Like I said "I don't condone beating women", I do however, forgive. If you read your post to me - You are assuming a great deal of the story. Neither of us knows what the He!! he or she did on that particular night. Just like you don't know what the He!! is going on in his head. If you know his thoughts so much, why are you even sitting on this website responding to me? ? You could be on a show with Deion Warwick and the psychic folks and make money to read minds…
Because you sound like the devil, I'm sure you have people who want to do that weird sh!t to your skull too :)
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Well I'm sure he is happy that YOU forgive him, I'm sure he will be pleased. He's still a piece of shit.
You are extremely naive if you think people do not like him and are being "haters" because of his "wealth" or how many Grammy's he won.
Keep on keepin' on you simpleton you!
And thank you for comparing me to the devil, but when I'm dead I don't care what anyone does to my body because I will be dead and I won't give a fuck.
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:12pm.
@whippersnapper
the report I read said she tried tio defend herself and gouge his eyes out
it also said she read thru his phone and started an argument and that the first thing he did was pull over and told her to gets to stepping and she refused
after SHE provoked and argument and refused to leave he snapped
she also called and texted several people....not one of which was the po-po
******************************************************************
Aahhh...I just glanced over the report and didn't read the whole thing I admit. I am by far a fan or a supporter of Rhianna and think she is a stupid coont, but this guy is a total chodewad and needs to stop being so full of himself.
@whippersnapper
Dude! Like I said "I don't condone beating women", I do however, forgive. If you read your post to me - You are assuming a great deal of the story. Neither of us knows what the He!! he or she did on that particular night. Just like you don't know what the He!! is going on in his head. If you know his thoughts so much, why are you even sitting on this website responding to me? ? You could be on a show with Deion Warwick and the psychic folks and make money to read minds…
Because you sound like the devil, I'm sure you have people who want to do that weird sh!t to your skull too :)
Anyway, I call people like you Haters because you can sit and sh!t talk this dude so bad (and continuously), and not for once consider more of story. That’s all I am saying.
@whippersnapper
the report I read said she tried tio defend herself and gouge his eyes out
it also said she read thru his phone and started an argument and that the first thing he did was pull over and told her to gets to stepping and she refused
after SHE provoked and argument and refused to leave he snapped
she also called and texted several people....not one of which was the po-po
you can also observe that she has an attitude issue over the past 3 years and is a mouthy wench...just from her twitter
after being beat she had the nerve to release a song called S&M (ha ha?)
I can't condone the beatdown she received and Chris Brown definitely has anger issues but I can't give Rihanna a wholesale victim card either
And they have NO business being near each other, they BOTH need therapy and probably rehab!
TMZ is reporting that Chris Brown was at Rihanna's birthday party the other night and they were all cuddled up and holding hands. He wanted guests to sign confidentiality agreements so no one would leak that he was there, which didn't work. He'll be beating Rihanna's ass again any day now if she doesn't get some self-esteem and a little therapy her own damn self and tell that butt nugget to blow.
dammit I loled!
I don't pay him no mind. He's still a baby and surrounded by enablers who aren't making it any easier for him to mature
...including Rihanna.
Submitted by SOserious on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:35pm.
Guys!!! You have to TRY not to judge so harshly!! Can you at the least give his (Chris Brown) progress consideration before the strong words are produced from your fingers and keyboards?? GOSH! I don't condone his actions at all (so 3 yrs ago); however it’s over and done with as we speak. I am so confused on why people can’t be forgiven anymore. He is human (just like us), we mess up!! His life is under a microscope as all celebs and we see and read every minute of it. As many comments as this post has on Chris, he must be on everyone’s mind and that means he is doing something right!! He got the ignorance coming out of his HATERS!! Yes I said HATERS!! Haters defined: People that make up reasons to hate certain people just because they aren't as wealthy or successful as them. If you think about it – Haters are motivators~
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You are fucking joking right?
So beating the shit out of a woman, let alone a woman who did not even hit back and try to defend herself, is a just a mess up? I do not believe that you know the meaning of "mess up". Painting a fence and spilling the can of paint on the lawn is a mess up. Going off apeshit and causing physical harm to someone IS NOT a "mess up". And then has the audacity that everything is all fine and dandy when he continues to be a total asshole 3 years later? He did not learn one thing from being arrested, he thinks he did nothing wrong. He only apologized because he got caught and prosecuted.
I'm still baffled why she did not try to defend herself...
"People that make up reasons to hate certain people just because they aren't as wealthy or successful as them."
So everyone just made up that this fucking piece of shit low life waste of cum beat the shit out of Rhianna? No one made up the fact that he went off and punched Rhianna over and over again. It happened.
NO, no one is being a hater, it's common sense to NOT support some asshole that goes around using women as punching bags. Ike Turner did the same thing to Tina and that followed him to his grave, and this will follow this asshole to his grave as well.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do you co-sign on all cases of domestic violence or just this ugly mofo's?
I hope he gets shot in the face with a .45 and then skullfucked.
CB could make me consider a life of celibacy, UNTIL he was out of my sight!
"catalyst for the infamous Running of the Clits" and the fact that you realized you had a clit which ran up your asshole had me crying in laughter MK!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
Submitted by ethang on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:49pm.
--
Yes, I've heard this. Most efficient!
For F/M, sometimes you just let the words work on you and give game right back! That is most fun! ;P
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
Pick up lines don't work. If the women's self esteem is low enough and the line isn't horrifying- it will happen. I love how men keep score like it's an achievement, same goes for some women. Obviously we are just programmed for sexing and it's amazing how many no accounts/ done nothing's/ empty headeds get bedded constantly. It's not a sport, it's a sure thing. It's not seduction, it's screwing. Boomhauer taught me that!
"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon
Submitted by ethang on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:49pm.
Seriously, what would make you ladies smile and give him your number?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
With respect to Chris Brown? If a guy punched him right in his dumb mouth, I'd smile and give the guy my number. Hells yeah!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Oh, and whenever some tween dipshit defends this guy because she thinks he's hot, I immediately think of that "Stupid Hoe" song.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by SOserious on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:35pm.
I haven't SEEN ANY progress, so NO. I cannot forgive him.
Is throwing a chair through a window progress? Are these stupid Tweet rants progress? NO.
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When I realized that you need love too,
Gonna spend my life makin' love to you.
Got to be a lover, have mercy.
Forgot to be a lover, babe. (Have mercy)
-Billy Idol
@ethang
A guy who can truly make me laugh. For me, a sense of humor is much sexier than a great looking guy that loses all his magic when he opens his mouth.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Fury - I wish! :P
suckyyoufuckinidiot HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
I long for the day when he starts beating up some woman, and her boyfriend swoops in, punches him, and his head pops off.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
"WOW! YOU ARE SO SKINNY!! I AM RICH!!!!!"
_____________________________
Sucky, you are hilarious!
Chris Brown needs to drop a few! MOOOOOOOOOO! That wideness is only gonna make his floppy pencil dick look even skinnier and more shriveled up than usual!
Submitted by ethang on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:49pm.
Seriously, what would make you ladies smile and give him your number?
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"WOW! YOU ARE SO SKINNY!! I AM RICH!!!!!"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:48pm.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:36pm.
LMAO!!! niiiiiice. I was approached by a very attractive lady one night at a club and as she introduced herself I could almost read it in her eyes. Before introducing myself I simply said "your place?" and we walked out.... So yea, she picked me up lol
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That was a great night, Jacko. Thank you.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
As a gay man I couldn't imagine what type of line works on women. We gay men just stare at each other until someone approaches. Straight men gotta be creative.
Seriously, what would make you ladies smile and give him your number?
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:36pm.
LMAO!!! niiiiiice. I was approached by a very attractive lady one night at a club and as she introduced herself I could almost read it in her eyes. Before introducing myself I simply said "your place?" and we walked out.... So yea, she picked me up lol
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Submitted by SOserious on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:35pm.
Really? How can you forgive him when he refuses to own his own behavior? He thinks HE was the one who was wronged. He thinks HE'S the victim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
ba-buttons on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:36pm.
Yeah, but, you have the looks to back it up. You could probably just say, "Yo! DO me!" and some idiot chick would melt like putty.
You good lookin' men are dangerous. >;P
Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:51pm.
Back in college this dolt tried to pick me up (as I was walking out of the ice cream store)with this line - Let's make like a banana and split! But he got fucked in the face by the glass door and then his nose started bleeding. Then my girlfriend started making blow job gestures at him.
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
One time a guy passed me and did a total rubber neck back at me,and as he turned to face forward he smacked his face right into a pole.
I didn't want to laugh and make him feel bad so I quickly turned my head and laughed where he couldn't see me. Poor dude!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:55pm.
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Yes, some asshole actually said that to me. I promptly poured my beer down his pants.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Have to remember that one, there is a beauty in it's simple crudeness.
ba-buttons shamefully admits that he actually scored once with the line;
"Would you be offended if I told you that I want to fuck your brains out?"
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
"The Lasio Professional Hair Care suite Grammy Gift Lounge"?! Uhm, could you be more specific? I mean Which one.
Guys!!! You have to TRY not to judge so harshly!! Can you at the least give his (Chris Brown) progress consideration before the strong words are produced from your fingers and keyboards?? GOSH! I don't condone his actions at all (so 3 yrs ago); however it’s over and done with as we speak. I am so confused on why people can’t be forgiven anymore. He is human (just like us), we mess up!! His life is under a microscope as all celebs and we see and read every minute of it. As many comments as this post has on Chris, he must be on everyone’s mind and that means he is doing something right!! He got the ignorance coming out of his HATERS!! Yes I said HATERS!! Haters defined: People that make up reasons to hate certain people just because they aren't as wealthy or successful as them. If you think about it – Haters are motivators~
Nobody'll be laughing when he does an OJ ~~ omigod, did I sayyy thaaaat? I really hope that never happens. That is one tasteless, horrible pick-up line. But girls love bad-boys. So what can we do. His tweet is retarded. We are definitely living in an age of morons having access to public knee-jerk reactions. Like the gun-totin' YouTube dad, I can NOT imagine he's glad he did that. People need to cool tha F#ck down before they go on a public rant. In the book Emotional Intelligence, there's an Aristotle quote and it goes something like; anyone can get angry, but to be angry at the right person to the right degree and express it properly is very difficult indeed.
LMMFAO at Oxygen!!!!
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Submitted by jelliebean on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:57pm
I still love The Cure. Wish I had gone to one of their concerts when I was younger. (Was too poor to go)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
One time I went to this hot guy's dorm room, with a friend who was seeing him, he had a giant poster of The Cure's album, "Let's Go to Bed" hung over the wall of his bed. And nothing else on the walls.
I wanted to go to bed so bad.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:46pm
Sure! And right now I'd like you to clean the cat's litter box. ;-)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K