Who Wore It Better?

I know, I should double slap myself in the face for asking a question that even hos not named Al Pacino clearly knows the answer to. But RiRi tried. RiRi said at the Grammys last week that she recently decided to follow the “If Elvira Hancock wouldn’t wear it, neither am I” rules of glamour and she made that shit perfectly clear at Stella McCartney’s shown London last night. Look at RiRi sexy posing hard like she’s in the line-up at a Bangkok whore house and she’s one beej away from meeting her quota for the month.

While I appreciate that RiRi is giving me “if Tina Turner was in Scarface” vibes, I just can’t with her trying to recreate the trophy piece perfection of Michelle Pfeiffer. I mean, I’d like to see RiRi try to bust out “sedated chicken airing out its pits” moves in that dress:

RiRi needs to leave dressing like a 1980s expensive Miami coke whore to the professionals.