Michelle Duggar's Advice To Wimmin Folk On How To Keep A Happy Marriage
If you've got an F next to "sex" on your drivers license, then you're going to want to read all of this right after you shred that drivers license since you shouldn't be driving, WOMAN! You should be sitting in the backseat crocheting a crown for your king husband while he drives. You also shouldn't be reading this unless you're reading this from your kitchen while making your king husband a meatloaf from scratch. Get in the kitchen, WOMAN!
On the season premiere of Ten Million Kids And We All Stopped Counting, human popcorn machine Michelle Duggar speaks at a conference and shares her tips on how to be a good Christian wife. Michelle handed the wives a worksheet titled "Seven Basic Needs Of A Husband" and it should really be titled "How To Be The Celie To Your Husband's Mistah." Michelle writes that a husband needs to feel like the Head Bitch in Charge and you can make him feel that way by depending on him financially and by always keeping your hair sexy and fresh. So far, no complaints from me! If I was a wife, I'd want to spend my morning asking my husband for money for the beauty salon and I'd want to spend my afternoon AT the beauty salon. Faith Goes Pop linked to the full worksheet, but here's some of the highlights:
1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.How does a wife destroy her husband’s manliness?
A. By expecting him to know what protection you need
1. Physical
2. Spiritual
3. Mental
4. Emotional
Tell your husband how he can protect you.B. By being financially independent
1. Love is killed by self-sufficiency
2. Whoever controls the money controls the leadership.
Center your work and your ministry in your home.C. By giving greater loyalty to outside leadership
1. Pastor and church leaders
2. Men and women Bible teachers
3. Relatives and friends
Ask your husband your spiritual questions.D. By resisting his decisions in your spirit
1. A wife’s spirit controls her husband’s ambitions
2. Reviewing past failure destroys a husband’s self-worth.
Learn to wisely appeal to your husbandE. By resisting his physical affection
1. This is the unspoken crushing of a man’s spirit.
2. A wife’s Godliness is a powerful guard against her husband’s abuse of … [cuts off]
As The Frisky points out, Michelle links all of her advice to the bible in some way. Michelle also advises that you should ask your husband to define your household responsibilities and you should always be GORGEOUS on the outside for him. Seriously, Michelle gets into the hair thing and quotes someone named I, Corinthians (who I'm guessing looks like this). Michelle writes that God gave women hair for covering and your hairstyle should show that you're feminine, submissive and soft.
You can call Michelle Duggar a backwards pilgrim bitch all you want, but she's on to something especially about the hair cape thing. If your hair looks like a majestic fall of golden strands cascading over your forehead, your husband will be so hypnotized by its beauty, as he takes your vagina with his leadership dick, that he won't even notice when your tortured uterus grabs onto his peen head to makes its escape. Then when he pulls out and your uterus runs for the front door, he'll still be too mesmerized by your hair to realize that your 300 kids are trying to catch your womb before it gets away. To quote I, Camila Alves: Hair IS important!
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This is one of the good articles you can find in the net explaining everything in detail regarding the topic. I thank you for taking your time sharing your thoughts and ideas to a lot of readers out there.slot maschine
Thanks for the heads-up on some interesting information in the topic of Michelle Duggar's advice here to Wimmin folk on how to keep a happy marriage. Keep it up! @ Popcorn machines
Submitted by silly on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 12:04pm.
oh, she's not smart enough to make this shit up. and he's not stupid enough to, either.
google bill gothard. or gothardism. (and yes, i giggle at got-hard.)
the man is a cult leader the likes of which charles manson creams for.
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I grew up in the brethern church, and they were mega hot for gothard. All those fucking seminars and conferences I got dragged to as a teenager.
They would last for 3-5 days, like 7am to 10pm, minimal breaks, tons of note taking in expensive textbook like books and notebooks. Brainwashing anyone?besides stuff on how to be a good wife/future wife, lots on how to be a good son/daughter. Just like the shit in her worksheet.
and all that stuff went hand in hand with all the music is evil/backwards masking stuff that was so crazy in the 80's.
I believe in God, prayer, fellowship with other christians, but now that I'm a step away from this stuff and no longer buy into organized religion, this all seems so wrong and so far from God.Pride is the biggie sin and this stuff is so prideful and glorifying to man (literally)it seems like they cut God out, except using Him to further their agenda.
It's hard having grown up with this shit, even weeding out what I really believe anymore, like I said, I still believe in God and the spiritual world but all the crap that goes with it?mostly not anymore.It's depressing frankly being 42 and no longer knowing what I should trust as far as what I've been spoon fed since birth.
The only leader dude I've never been disillusioned with is Billy Graham, As far as I know he's the only one to have tried to follow his convictions and tried to live the life he preached, all he was interested in was actually evangelizing , not empire building.
To me the dugger family are a classic example of what people in organized religion strive for.
unfortunately they have done quite well with it, which only feeds into how this is how you are supposed to be.
The dumb bitches never close the holes they've got. The smart ones don't spend all their time trying to tell other people how to bend over. They're too busy having fun.
I know that god talks through her cooter but you'd think by this time you'd hear him echoing around the planet considering the size of the instrument.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Surfing the apocalypse.
oh, she's not smart enough to make this shit up. and he's not stupid enough to, either.
google bill gothard. or gothardism. (and yes, i giggle at got-hard.)
the man is a cult leader the likes of which charles manson creams for.
*puts on hair cape*
*wraps self in shapeless potato sack*
*churns butter suggestively*
Any of you automatically superior male gender Dlisters want to be submitted to? Can I have $5 for tampons too?
*keeps wooden upchuck bucket handy*
►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Positively infuriating. When can we stop giving shit-for-brains fuckwads like this attention?
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 2:42am.
I seriously don't want to live in a world where cunts like this actually exist. I want to burn this ignorant bitch for that comment about financial independence. Fucking shoot her face off. No lie.
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I absolutely hate this woman, moreso every time I read something about their family. OK, well, I hate both of them, but it's much easier to target her. I hope some of their daughters are lucky enough to be infertile.
Fuck whether they seem happy or not. I'm sure it's not so bad when you get the constant media attention that you're seeking, and you're addicted to being pregnant, and all you have to do is coo over babies while the rest of your kids take care of them when they reach the toddler stage. It's irresponsible and ridiculous for people in a non-agrarian society to have this many goddamn kids. Send them to China and let the government sterilize them...
I'd rather be single the rest of my life.
Submitted by liverwurst on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 11:55pm.
We can make all the snarky comments we want to, but these two look pretty fucking happy. All their kids seem happy,healthy and well adjusted.
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The only well adjusted members of that family are bullet-dodging Jubilee and whatever the name of the first dead fetus was - you know, the one she awkwardly forgot about when she wrote that attention-seeking letter following the most recent funeral.
I can't even get past her 1990's Texas Aussie hairsprayed mess to read the article. it's an "I-can't" train wreck!!
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Hold on...I'm searching for a fuck to give..
YESSS! NO MORE HOUSE. buh bye bitch. sorry I work for doctors for a living.
The chocolate cupcakes are like, "shit, I hope she doesn't try to fuck me.
yay, Veronica!!
I seriously don't want to live in a world where cunts like this actually exist. I want to burn this ignorant bitch for that comment about financial independence. Fucking shoot her face off. No lie.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I seriously don't want to live in a world where cunts like this actually exist. I want to burn this ignorant bitch for that comment about financial independence. Fucking shoot her face off. No lie.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I knew it was coming. People in this "me me" generation today don't want to hear things like this. But like Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?" And for this family it all works well, they are all happy and well adjusted. Imagine that.
Good fucking god. I started to read the full worksheet but was disgusted and stopped. Look what I found:
Husbands are commanded to govern their wives (Genesis 3:16).
Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; I Peter 3:1).
A Wife's submission to her husband qualifies him for church leadership (I Timothy 3:4,5).
Her poor daughters, being taught this shit. Ridiculous.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
We can make all the snarky comments we want to, but these two look pretty fucking happy. All their kids seem happy,healthy and well adjusted. I say keep popping them out, we need to even the numbers with all these assholes out there raising asshole kids
What do you mean "cuts off"? *hides knives*
I can't believe how good she looks after having 18 ( 19 ) kids. What the hell are these zealot maniacs doing having so many kids...Damn, this world is crowded enough. STOP !
Why do any media outlets give these freaks even the time of day? Fringe fuckers.
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Submitted by Oyster on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 7:45pm.
"he who controls the spice controls the universe?" because I'll happily start comparing this bitch's baby maker to the baron harkonnen.
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"Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife, chopping off what is incomplete,
and saying: now it is complete because it is ended here."
Submitted by Granny Clampett on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 5:51pm.
Do you think Michelle has ever had an orgasm? I'll bet she hasn't. Poor thing.
Orgasms don't even enter into the equation for "good Christian women." Only jezebels and whores have orgasms.
No, Mrs. Duggar is routinely mounted by her clown of a husband (Jesus, imagine what THAT must be like - shudders) for the sole purpose of procreation, just as God mandated. Well, at least that's why SHE submits to it (as God intends). He's probably a randy old f**k who likes to do it whenever he wants (OMG, disgusting) as is his God-given right as the man and ruler of his home and family. Bleh.
Submitted by Oyster on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 7:45pm.
"Whoever controls the money controls the leadership." .... is that anything like "he who controls the spice controls the universe?" because I'll happily start comparing this bitch's baby maker to the baron harkonnen.
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lmao!!!!!!!
this bitch. wtf ever. and...i thought super christian people always talk about putting GOD first in their life? instead you're supposed to put your husband? what??
the only thing i kind of agree with is resisting physical attraction. i dont do that withholding sex shit, but then again, who knows what jim bob here is like. they do have 20 kids...maybe he's forcefully agressive? i dont know.
And she's teaching this Village Idiot shit to her daughters. She should be arrested for child abuse.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
"Whoever controls the money controls the leadership." .... is that anything like "he who controls the spice controls the universe?" because I'll happily start comparing this bitch's baby maker to the baron harkonnen.
unalloyed hicks
20 years from now this mess will really look like the sh*t pile it is. Right now they are all still cute. Soon they will be suicidal adults.
Nobody in their right mind would find that crunchy looking stuff on her head attractive. She looks like she touched a hot wire and the electricity crimped, fried, and burned up her hair. It's worse than Kate Gosselin's old possum 'do!
A.D. Clay:
There was an old lady,
Who lived in a shoe,
She had so many kids,
Her uterus fell out.
Submitted by lelu on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by TequilaTax on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:33pm.
Just wanted to jump into this nursing conversation, since I'm in a nursing program myself.
If it's possible, look into getting a job as an aide or something in a hospital or other large healthcare setting. Many hospitals have tuition reimbursement programs for employees who want to continue their education, as long as you agree to work there X number of years post-graduation. If you know anyone who works at a local hospital, ask them if this is the case. That's what I'm doing.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Do you think Michelle has ever had an orgasm? I'll bet she hasn't. Poor thing.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
WTF?? Are they really humans living on earth in this decade??
Forget the 1950s, welcome to the mid-19th century.
This woman and her husband are Santorum's biggest supporters. Like him, they want America to go back to the "good old days" when women and their 20 children each were men's property, minorities "knew their place," homosexuals were hanged on sight, people of "other Godless religions" were regularly marginalized or, better, run out of town, and evil women who had illegal abortions regularly died and had it coming.
What a lovely world they're promoting!
That "No Longer Quivering" blog scared the living daylights out of me. I'd never heard of this before, so thanks (fanks?) to the Dlister who provided the link.
Submitted by jan39 on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 1:52pm.
I resent the bullshit idea that men are that fragile. JimBob might have the ego strength of a eunuch's dick, but most of the rest of us don't depend on servants ratifying our every fart to get by. Take a leaf out of Jesus's book, Duggars- he was best friends with a whore and refused to enter into a lease. The closest he got to married was getting everyone drunk at his neighbor's wedding because his mom told him to.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
AMEN.
She is only qualified to give advice on how to find a similarly boring spouse as her oatmeal self, and how to live with a prolapsed uterus.
How about relationship success by having some mutual respect, consideration, trust and of course to enjoy lots of uninhibited sex! Voila easy Mich' HAHAHA! ;D
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 5:15pm.
For reasons WHICH ARE WELL KNOWN TO YOU ALL (a la Mommie Dearest)
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I don't get this??
*senior stupid face*
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Re: nursing - demand for nurses is going to increase dramatically in the future - due to large numbers of baby boomers moving into their senior years.
It is smart to choose health-care-related careers right now, if that is what interests you.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by jelliebean on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:38pm.
Hmmm...how to keep a man happy?
Last time I checked, it was gainfull employment:
blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs
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Marriage counseling... ^^RIGHT HERE
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For reasons WHICH ARE WELL KNOWN TO YOU ALL (a la Mommie Dearest) I approve of these postings.
I disagree about the money situation.. Neither myself nor my husband control all the money. Our income is split in several ways. Checking account for all of our normal monthly bills, a portion to our own accounts(so we don't need to even discuss what we spend money on.. but we have access to each other's account but its never been an issue), savings account and we have a retirement account.
I would never let my husband control all of our money..
Secondly I'm not overly affectionate and I don't want a grown man hanging all over me all the time. I am not his source of entertainment. get a hobby.
Submitted by just_lurking on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 2:30pm.
"in all fairness, we're judging based on half the story"
i know!!! that's what makes it fun, right?!
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seriously despise these ignorance mongers. and join others here who think she's really driving that crazy train and he's the one along for the ride. whomever below said that her name is above his on the book made a damn good point
Submitted by TequilaTax on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:33pm.
If it's worth anything, I know several women who went to nursing school when they were in their 40s. My own mom, for one. And my neighbor is now. I considered it for myself, briefly, but I don't have a college degree, which means years more school. It's an excellent move, IMO.
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Thanks for the encouragement. I'm attending a community college. It's cheaper and I won't end up with a ton of debt at the end.
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Some of the best nursing programs are at community colleges. They're competitive, but those I know in those programs are receiving a great education without going into serious debt.
Many of the women are in their 40's with no degrees and kids. It's very admirable.
Nursing isn't the only option there are many other 2 yr. allied health degrees at these schools. I might sound over enthusiastic, but I'm a huge supporter of these programs.
Submitted by jelliebean on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:38pm.
Hmmm...how to keep a man happy?
Last time I checked, it was gainfull employment:
blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs
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Marriage counseling... ^^RIGHT HERE
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Hmmm...how to keep a man happy?
Last time I checked, it was gainfull employment:
blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs
The hilarious thing about this type of so-called "Christian" advice (so-called, because MD no more represents "Christian women" than Kim Kardashian represents "Californians") is how *kinky* it is. Whenever I read stuff like this (e.g. about "submitting to your husband") I always thing: you go girl; let your freak flag fly! BDSM *is* a valid lifestyle choice!
Which is why I have no doubt this kind of arrangement might well work for some people: there are a lot of happy BDSM couples too. But at least the latter realize they're cultivating a relationship that meets their particular needs… desires… kinks. And don't go around prescribing their particular chosen kind of relationship to all men and women as if ordained by God.
(How un-Christian-- I mean, how irresponsible and reckless and callous and cruel-- to actually *prescribe* financial dependence to women, as a wifely *duty*! To women who, along with their children, would suffer terribly and helplessly in the event of spousal abuse, abandonment, or divorce.)
That worksheet is really not all that different from a BDSM "contract". If MD really is a happy and fulfilled wife, she's happy and fulfilled just like the Maggie Gyllenhaal character was at the end of "Secretary". And I mean, for the same reasons, which have nothing to do with God. Spiritual = psychological.
I want to see Gloria Steinem and this woman debate...WHOSE HAIRSTYLE WILL WIN?!
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RE: Submitted by Vera Charles on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:12pm.
When anyone brings up the last 100 years of advances in women's rights, simply deny that we are living in the year 2012 and insist that it is the Year of Our Lord 1732. When other females remind you that women make up over 50 percent of the workforce, look at them with a vacant look your eye, and say "Thou dost not speaketh the truth! Women can only work in the home!"
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
How to keep a man happy (i.e. around?): trap him with two dozen fucking children and the threat f a law suit if he doesnt pay up. That'll do it. Dumb bitch. Tell your husband how he can protect you? This is as good as Bachman saying that her husband commanded her to become a lawyer.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Your mom is starting nursing school in her mid 50's? Now I don't feel so bad about trying to go while in my mid 40's. I thought it would be too late for me to change careers.
Ttax: Yes 55 and my mom is doing really well at it. We have debates over who had it harder her doing it at fifty five with a new husband and two stepsons (one severely autistic and one just a regular pain in the ass teenager) or me doing it at seventeen when I didn't know what a foley catheter was and had to all of a sudden give a geriatric a bed bath. I was a moron; she has real life experiences to draw from. But I had her to cook me dinner and do my laundry and stuff. She is attending and I attended a diploma program. Then I went for another year to get my BSN and then my MSN. I've been a family practice nurse practitioner for five years now (I'm 31). Nursing school is a lot of fun and I remember the time very fondly. I had seen babies be born and people die before I could (legally)buy a beer. It's almost like enlisting in the military. You see too much!
Incidentally, I met my soon to be husband working in an ER as a nurse practitioner. He was my boss and has been a doctor as long as I've been a nurse. He is the nicest, most humble man I've ever met. And he tells me all the time he loves me because I work hard. When he met me I was pregnant with my daughter and working seven days a week. Sometimes people fall in love for the right reasons, not just to be baby factories like this broad.
these people should be killed
After you make sure your husband feels like the king on the throne, go outside and milk the cow and then bring the milk inside and churn the butter. Then teach your children how to write with their little chalkboards. then sew some pantaloons for your daughters, and rip up old clothing into rags for them to use when they've got the curse. When anyone brings up the last 100 years of advances in women's rights, simply deny that we are living in the year 2012 and insist that it is the Year of Our Lord 1732. When other females remind you that women make up over 50 percent of the workforce, look at them with a vacant look your eye, and say "Thou dost not speaketh the truth! Women can only work in the home!"
lololol @ "human popcorn machine" and "hair cape"