Happy "Somebody PLEASE Pay Attention To Me" Day, Jennifer Love Hewitt!
Because Jennifer Love Hewitt is a shy, private and demure person, she celebrated her 33rd birthday yesterday at the long-running headquarters for fame eaters that is The Ivy. THE IVY: Where THIRSTAY hos can quench their thirst on $30 lemonade and camera flashes.
JLove, who is seriously the prototype for every desperate sadling on The Bachelor, screamed for the paparazzi to scratch her attention spot by flashing all kinds of signs that read shit like "Happy Birthday 2 Me," "Watch The Client List In April," and "Bye Pappos." You know, I shade JLove often for taking desperate to whole new desperate levels, but these pictures are kind of refreshing. Because usually if JLove's holding a sign, it reads: I NEED A MAN!!!!!!!!
It feels unnatural posting pictures of The Ivy without The Ivy's forever Poison Ivy Queen in them, so I was moved to do this:
And now I can exhale.
• 
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:14am.
I love that Phoebe Price linked to this on her Facebook page.
LOL Phoebe Price just went up one level on my books + if that means anything.
But she is after all Hot slut of the year! so yeah...
The level of desperation is just so SAD.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:14am.
I love that Phoebe Price linked to this on her Facebook page.
LMAO! Too cute. She totally adores Michael K. (he practically 'made' her), so, I totally could believe she would do something like that. It probably made her day. hahahahahahaha
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Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 4:47pm.
you really ARE Satan! OMG!
I love that Phoebe Price linked to this on her Facebook page.
i want to like her, but then she does needy desperate shit like this. sooooooo many much better places to go eat for your birthday so dont even give me that "i like the food" shit.
Hmmm, 6 forehead rolls but maybe it's 8 if you count the 2 sets over her brows separately...very unflattering picture and I'm stoned
i feel kindof conflicted about looking like her :S
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
poor J-LoveHugeTetas.
LOVE that photoshop of phoebe price!! lol
um I wonder why Phoebe didn't drop by like an expert ninja, like she did to Mickey Rourke, and make it look like she was at the party.
If I was a friend of J-LoveHugeTetas, i would give her a Gift Voucher for 3x sessions with a male escort.
Submitted by MizRo on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 4:06pm.
... "listen" to your silence, revel in your mind, laugh at your ideas and/or memories, devise new paths for yourself, LOVE yourself, with or without a mate.
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Wow, love this...I copy and pasted it for my own future reference. Thanks MizRo.
That's a woman desperately in need of a good fucking - doesn't matter if it's from a guy, girl or farm animal (as long as it's consensual for the farm animal) - bitch needs to get laid so repeatedly she doesn't recognize what day it is, much less her birthday. And soon.
She seems very needy for attention. Happy Birthday 2 me? Dingbat.
I like her and I have no idea why. She seems rather normal, even for Hollyweird, and if she got out of the acting biz, I'm sure she'd be married, which she seems to so desperately want.
I'll take her any day over L.L.
Isn't she in, like, her 40's or something?
Submitted by Deb: "Courtney Stodden tweets:
"As I sexily gyrate on Doug's throbbing lap in my purple satin bustier with matching crotchless panties, I see these desperate acts of non-sexy attention-begging and lick my plump, glossy lips, thinking, "Oh Jennifer, that's a bit much"."
Pure fucking gold. *bows down to Deb*
@Cowjam:
Agreed! Although I've only seen the Ghost Whisperer twice...
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 5:53pm.
Submitted by TimC on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 5:12pm.
Did she vagazzle that water goblet herself?
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Tee-hee!!! You actually can find those at Ross next to the Pimp cups - true story.
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Fuck, I LOVE Ross!
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 5:56pm
Yes - I completely agree with Cowjam! JHL is adorable in my opinion and I loved "Ghost Whisperer." She's obviously doing something right because she has been a steadily-working actress for many years. Loved her in "Heartbrakers," too.
She's had a lot of sex for 33.
LMAO! I love how the photoshopping makes PeePee look like she's rising out of the champagne glass.
Birthdays suck when you don't have enough Paparazzi around to acknowledge your special day. There are so many birthdays where I cried in my pillow that the Paps weren't around. :((
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Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 4:47pm.
you really ARE Satan! OMG!
OK, start collecting rocks to throw at me: Agreed that she can't act for shit, but I think she's cute and....I love Ghost Whisperer. I cry my fucking eyes out every time I watch it
Submitted by TimC on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 5:12pm.
Did she vagazzle that water goblet herself?
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Tee-hee!!! You actually can find those at Ross next to the Pimp cups - true story.
Courtney Stodden tweets:
"As I sexily gyrate on Doug's throbbing lap in my purple satin bustier with matching crotchless panties, I see these desperate acts of non-sexy attention-begging and lick my plump, glossy lips, thinking, "Oh Jennifer, that's a bit much".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Sometimes I wonder, "how do I deal"? Luckily JLH answered that in song form. I guess everyone has a blind spot and she and her awesome shows are in mine.
Did she vagazzle that water goblet herself?
Submitted by TequilaTax on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:50pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:48pm.
George Clooney list is longer and people don't give him nearly as much grief for it.
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He's older though. lol
George gets all sorts of grief for his relationships, if not the quantity then the quality and the whole "beard" thing.
I do see your point though TT :)
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 4:00pm.
A SHOE? HOW BOUT A DAMN AK47, YOU DUMB CHEATIN TRIFLIN CANADIAN PIECE OF SHIT
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Huh, What....you kind of lost me with your "natural breasts" comment, everthing's a blur after that.
ooops
Eh, I prefer Ali Lohan who seeks them out like an anteater and then plays the "Oh! You annoying paps!!" card when one or two snaps her photo.
This gal is a high class Phoebe Price, a delusional narcissist. She really needs to stop doing these pap photo shoots on her birthday. It dates her and shows her in a desperate light. I am always surprised by the lack of good handlers/pr people in Hollywood. Keep control of your star image, this advice should be required for Stardom 101.
She has ANOTHER show?! Gah, I hate this horse-faced dingaling. Can't act for shit, an embarrassment to my gender, big fat ass--please go to Lifetime and stay there, ya dumb ho.
How is she only 33?
Soon I'm going to be older than every actress in Hollywood that I grew up watching.....
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Didn't she buy her own damn engagement ring, so that she could give it to her imaginary future finance, so that he could give it BACK to her when he proposed?
She's not desperate, she's deranged.
She's cool, but she is the epitome of desperate. I read her book (shut up I got it from the library!) and there was a whole section on how to force a guy to spoon.
She's pretty and relatively inoffensive. If she wasn't famous for being desperate she'd probably be married :(
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 4:03pm.
Amateur.
Lmao. Ok Mr. Experienced!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:53pm.
Don't care what she looks like or what her relationship status is. She's supposed to be an actress and the girl CANNOT act. Therefore, she is worthless to me. That is all.
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CO-SIGN ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Ever since she was on Party Of Five I have HATED this bitch. It was so delicious when her spin-off show crashed and burned. Cuz Nobody cares about you bitch. Cuz you can't act.
She is all sorts of pathetic, imo. By purposely sitting with her back to the wall and facing the paps, just screams desperate. She probably called ahead and requested that table.
Mikey...I liked the 3 year rule that Uvy posted awhile back. After 3yrs it doesn't count...like a parking ticket! Lol. *queues like a virgin...sings along*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She seems like a nice enough gal. We all know women like her. They have everything going for them but they can't ever close the deal. I can't ever put my finger on it but I recognize them when I see them. It's sad.
IF, Oh my goodness, you just re-enacted JLOVE's every single relationship! SPOOKY you are!
hahahaha :)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
I don't find her in the least bit offensive, I think she's an attractive woman BUT she can't spend 5 minutes alone.
Women or men that feel the need to be with someone, ANYONE, at all times make me sad: "listen" to your silence, revel in your mind, laugh at your ideas and/or memories, devise new paths for yourself, LOVE yourself, with or without a mate.
Submitted by CeeCee on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 4:04pm.
She's dumb as shit. I saw her Twitter once and she never knows "your" from "you're" and she Tweeted to some guy on The Bachelor, "I'd except your final rose!" (Yes, "except.") She's perpetually in 9th grade. I bet her handwriting is a girly scrawl.
And dots her i's with hearts.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:59pm.
JLove has never bothered me.
People who go to the Ivy bother me.
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Nobody bothers me, Bernard. I'm just sitting here with my natural breasts.
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Dark-sided!
Irish non sequitors never bother me! ;)
She's dumb as shit. I saw her Twitter once and she never knows "your" from "you're" and she Tweeted to some guy on The Bachelor, "I'd except your final rose!" (Yes, "except.") She's perpetually in 9th grade. I bet her handwriting is a girly scrawl.
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:52pm.
So she's had secks with @ least 25 different menz?!?!?!?
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Amateur
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:58pm.
VEGGIEIST, REPORTED
REPORTIST, VEGGED!.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:51pm
I have my days ;)
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:41pm.
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:14pm.
Whamo...her Valentine? lol. ;D
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LOL, no shit! I kinda sped through the post
saw the red and my mind "went all Valentine" for some reason. See what happens when I see a pretty smile, I turn into a retard:)
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@doggie...come on she's a celebrity, there are always exceptions if they're celebrities aren't there? Actually you let me off pretty easy on that one:)
*waits for Mrs. Fury to jump out of nowhere and throw a shoe at me*
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A SHOE? HOW BOUT A DAMN AK47, YOU DUMB CHEATIN TRIFLIN CANADIAN PIECE OF SHIT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU PLEASE MARRY ME AND I WILL EVEN CONSIDER SWALLOWING BUT I REALLY WOULD NEVER THATS JUST MY BAIT AND SWITCH TACTIC BUT YOU DONT KNOW THAT!
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Dark-sided!
JLove has never bothered me.
People who go to the Ivy bother me.
Does not compute. Does not compute.