The Ear Torture Continues
Remember when I said 7 seconds ago that I care about the well-being of your ears? I said a lie. Because if I had any respect or love for your sense of hearing, I wouldn't expose it to this eardrum-burning, dead baby hooker shit from Manufactured Superstars featuring stumbling bag of queefs Wonky McValtrex.
In that monotone, soulless, slut toddler voice of hers, Parasite educates us about the new phenomenon (for 1999) called drunk texting. Just like her "career," sex tape and insides, this mess has a pulse rate of zero. This is like Meeting In The Ladies Room if Meeting In The Ladies Room got the life beat out of it with a flip phone and was left for dead in the alleyway behind a has-been club. To quote the poetic Klymaxx: "I had to leave my condo to come to this?!" If I tried to drunk text this song to anyone, my iPhone would auto-correct it to read: STOP!
I know you hate me, because after listening to that virus of a song, you now have deflated anal warts inside of your ear holes. Maybe this dose of musical antibiotics from a real star will stop the stinging a bit.
UPDATE: Wonky's black hole ate the EwTube above, but if you really hate yourself you can click here to listen to it.
via Idolator
I don't know why, it reminds me of The Horrorist's famous song, probably the talking thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVgjC5Gw8y0
"It's called 'Sexting'"-- WELL THANK YOU SO MUCH PARIS.
"Your Vagina is Large"
I love MK.
I thought she said thta she gave up the clubs.
The video is working again. You just have to be wait for it to come up.
It's hideous but I can't decide if it's worse than Madonna's failed single.
Charo is a goddess.
How old is that vid of Charo? You must have dug to find it because I think she is only 50 or so there.
Talentless, entitled cow.
I think she is too old to be living this stupid party life...
She needs to give her money to charity. You NEVER hear about her doing ANY good. Just me-me-me.
Roxanne
But Laurie Anderson has talent; this bitch Parasite is a no talent herp ridden bottom-feeding skank...
Submitted by dorian_graye on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 10:10pm.
She's, like, totally the new Laurie Anderson. Not that any of you twinkie bitches know who that is....(smirk)
She's, like, totally the new Laurie Anderson. Not that any of you twinkie bitches know who that is....(smirk)
OMG...that is the worst song ever!
Stoned_Chic
The really tragic part of all of this is that her last "album" went top 10 on Billboard. In her head she's as legitimate a star as Rihanna, Britney, Katy and Ke$ha.
And the "music" industry wonders why kids ain't buying they shit anymore.
I wonder if her crackhead *sober* <-ha aunt Kim Richards is dancing to this right now?
Fuck. That is fucking classic. Hilarious. Was it meant to be funny? Someone tell that beaky nosed psycho cunt that she's 31 not 13. Note to Beaky:
Take that $30K and make a down payment on an ounce of dignity.
I love the 'your vagina is large' tag. like most everyone, i couldn't watch more than a minute.
Crikey that's torture. Absolute scour!
We used to have a Casio electric keyboard (many moons ago) and it had a button you could press for a background beat - sounds suspiciously like the backing track on this pile of shite!!
Cheap as fucking chips - bit like Paris herself
@c-est_moi, YAAASS, he ROCKED the beatnik outta Palin's tweets on Conan! hahaha ;)
♥---♥---♥
"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
"Gas station bathrooms should only be entered if you are on fire or in a zombie movie" ~ cracked.com
Go Charo! She totally rocked it.
Hilton stinks!
@WithinReason--William Shattner is the first thing that comes to my mind too! He sounds good compared to this. WTF, she doesn't even try to sing anymore. Random clauses? And someone else wrote the lyrics too, I'm sure.
MK, why'd you have to update this crap? Ahahaha
Talking through the "song" and she can't even do that right! Someone call Wm. Shatner, heard he was done with PriceLine! o_O
♥---♥---♥
"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
"Gas station bathrooms should only be entered if you are on fire or in a zombie movie" ~ cracked.com
I kept waiting for her to start signing and all she did was keep yapping.. jeesh.. shut up whore and start the song.. oh wait never mind.
WTF? Is that some kind of community service PSA she was required to do?
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:14pm.
Oh sweet baby Lord Jesus. What the fuck was that crap? I made it to the .59 mark.
you did better than I did. I made it to "tah, you know, dance with my bitches"
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And little one, hold out for a c-section. You don't want to slide down that. ~ Sweetas
Charo is amazing!
Wonky -not so much-cant she fall into a black hole?
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
UGH - I work with a girl that has the Paris Hilton voice complex. She will do her regular deep, monotone voice and then when a guy comes around she turns on that slut toddler voice. She's the worst.
Submitted by Detective_LaToya on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:32pm.
I think it's hilarious when they try to depict her as sexy when anyone who's seen the sex tape knows how truly terrible in bed she is.
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WHYTHANKYOU that is exactly what i'm always saying!
Judging by her fuckvid it is most likely that you had better sex than with Parasite it you've never ever had sex with an actual living person. Cause even fucking the couch in your mom's basement seems more exciting and fun.
And i've known this Charo clip and yet it makes me smile in kind of an excrutiating way. Omygod she really butchers that song.
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
She makes the Traci Lords' album "1000 Fires" from the '90s sound like an absolute fucking masterpiece. Jesus, a mercy killing would be fabu. I never could stand this untalented bitch. Right up there with the Kuntrashians.
I am so embarrassed for Paris right now. That was heinously bad.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
MK, love the Klymaxx link - that video is one of the GREATEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME
Pop N Taco was HOT!
Now THAT is how you do it, PH
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Don't slap me
Because I'm not in the mood
well, I'm just gunna say it. They should make a biopic of Charo staring Sophia Vegara
That Charo number just made my day. Now I can't wait to see Sofia Vergara do her biopic.
I think it's hilarious when they try to depict her as sexy when anyone who's seen the sex tape knows how truly terrible in bed she is.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Sinjin, no, she tried to murder M.E. with mysterious appearing pills.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
M.E. I've missed a few posts due to work, and I've been wondering....did The Sniffer ever come back to work?
Submitted by bridgjones on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:02pm.
This whore is not worth the energy it takes to click "play." Charo, on the other hand...Anyone see her during the Surreal Life? She is one tough bitch. Love her!
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Best Charo quote from Surreal Life "No. No Espooning, because Espooning leads to Forking!"
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Satan on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:12pm.
Whamo on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:02pm.
Thanks for the link Satan...I think.
HAHA! YW, Whamster. >;)
She should have called it Manufactured Birth Date because bitch is lookin OLD!
Definitely a 'case' for 'beer goggles'. The looks are fading and the HERPES lives ON! Maybe she can paint smiley faces on her herp sores once her looks totally hit the wall (so as to detract from her aging wonk and sliding penis nose being sucked in to her mouth by gravitational pull).
-
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 4:47pm.
you really ARE Satan! OMG!
Conrad must be so proud!
I really like Stars are Blind.
*sorry :( *
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Bwhit19964 : I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Charo, but she's been the USA since God made water and she still sounds like Speedy Gonzales
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Charo is from SPAIN. Speedy's voice is from an American (Mel Blanc) trying to sound like a Mexican.
Different accents and speech patterns. :-)
Oh sweet baby Lord Jesus. What the fuck was that crap? I made it to the .59 mark.
Um, WTF was that? Spoken word techno?!
I don't like her, but I didn't think her previous attempt at music was *that* bad. I found "Stars Are Blind" tolerable.
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Douchechill!
I refuse to watch anything with that skank Paris.
On the other hand, Michael darling, why didn't you post a video of Charo playing the guitar? One of the greatest Flamingo guitarist ever! Give it a shot!
That's a fail Paris for trying to work a little of Vogue into that mess. Vogue fail! Tart. Hmmph.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:48pm.
OH. Well I didn't really want to click on it (still don't) but I really wanted to say I'm bored and not get in trouble with the off-topic police.
Eww paris (<--see ontopic)
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
My ears thank the link for no longer being available.
Jack...lmfao!! *snort*
Dog...doncha even think about it! *gets newspaper ready to swat chu wif*
PSL...girrrl shudder is right. Tho I did like the shade she was wearing.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
This whore is not worth the energy it takes to click "play." Charo, on the other hand...Anyone see her during the Surreal Life? She is one tough bitch. Love her!
Submitted by Satan on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:51pm.
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Thanks for the link Satan...I think.
She should have called it Manufactured Birth Date because bitch is lookin OLD!
sinjin - A RISK I MUST TAKE!!!!!!!!!!!
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Submitted by crazyassmom on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:49pm.
LOL, yea, I've seen almost all his stuff... My stepdaughter used to make me sit and watch em all with her.... "shoes" was, of course, my favorite.
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Jack, if you get with Parasite, your junk will end up feeling like this. FOREVER!
http://creattica.com/uploaded-images/0008/0025/roast_mascot_creattica.jp...
guest, I doubt that was spit string.
*shudders*
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I didn't wanna pressure you, baby ... no
But all I ever wanted to do... I wanna be your lover
I wanna be the only one that makes you come... runnin'!
MissJaneTexas on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 1:46pm.
I'm bored. And now that I'm bored enough to actually hit play it's gone. Oh well.
LOL! I can't believe they keep taking that shiteous video down! THEY UPLOADED IT! Don't they want 'views'? HAHAHA
It's here too:
http://www.directlyrics.com/new-manufactured-superstars-feat-paris-hilto...
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Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 4:47pm.
you really ARE Satan! OMG!