This Is News: Zac Efron Drops A Peen Glove On The Orange Carpet

We’re friends and I care about what happens to your ears, so I’m going to warn you that the clip above (via ONTD) has been smeared with the musical hemorrhoid pried off of the anus hole of music LMFAO. “I’m Sex And I Know It” is the mangled conjoined twin of Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” who has a chronic slobber problem, was kicked out of the 6th grade for exposing itself during Show & Tell and is most likely on the National Sex Offender Registry. That song is such creepy trash. It’s like the men’s half-shirt of music. My advice is to exorcise your right to use the mute button. Better yet, just watch the clip above while tickling your ear drums with the only “sexy” song that matters:

So at The Lorax premiere on Sunday afternoon, the sparkliest Twinkie in the box, Zac Efron, sashayed down the orange carpet and accidentally dropped a gold condom wrapper and then clutched his anal beads by mouthing “OH MY GAW” to his publicist. Twink, please. You know Debbie Allen choreographed that whole stunt and they spent 6 weeks rehearsing it. They even took it for an out-of-town tryout. That’s how staged that shit was.

Like Zac really has time to fuck. Zac’s days are already filled with searching for the perfect cum gel for his luscious locks and admiring his beauty in his Revlon Hollywood Mirror. They also laid it on too thick with the gold condom. Fairy man princesses don’t have Magnum-sized peens. Unless, Zac is using that condom as an anal liner, which is entirely possible.

Besides, if Zac is screwing on anybody at The Lorax premiere, it’s The Lorax itself and we all know that trick is a bareback slut.