After All That | Dlisted

In case you forgot because your brain purged this information to make way for more important shit like the recipe for the perfect dream wedding cake, let me remind you of the foolery that went down between Sacha Baron Cohen and the Academy this week. To promote The Dictator, SBC planned to drag his poodle's ass beard onto the red carpet at the Oscars tomorrow. The producers of the Oscars shut down SBC's plans and said that he could come, but he had to dress as himself and not as his character. SBC fired a shot at the Oscars when he went on the Today Show as The Dictator and blasted their asses for banning his publicity stunt. Well, after all that shit, the producers have given into SBC's attention whoreist threats and are letting him stroll down the red carpet as The Dictator. The Dictator declared victory on his Twatter last night:

VICTORY IS OURS! Today the Mighty Nation of Wadiya triumphed over the Zionist snakes of Hollywood. Evil and all those who made Satan their protector were vanquished and driven into the Pacific Sea. What I am trying to say here is that the Academy have surrendered and sent over two tickets and a parking pass! TODAY OSCAR, TOMORROW OBAMA!

My mom said the other day that everybody should come to the Oscars dressed as their characters, because she doesn't recognize them when they're covered in fancy. That is a genius idea. Michelle Williams should come as Marilyn Monroe, Bryce Dallas Howard should come with a piece of shitty caca pie in her mouth, Glenn Close should come as the Irish Beavis, Jonah Hill should wear a fat suit and Michael Fassbender should just repeatedly come on the red carpet if you know what I mean.

But seriously, this stupid shit makes me miss the good old days when Bjork laid a swan egg on the red carpet. The Oscars should invite Bjork, so she can show all those amateur whores how a true STUNT QUEEN does it.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Sacha Baron Cohen • Stunt Queens

Submitted by Event Horizon on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 5:01pm.

Me and the dude are going for Peruvian food tonight....never had it, can't wait to try!

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by TBH on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 5:54pm.

I hope you love it, am from there so I love the food. My personal favorite is jalea (it's seafood, if you're into seafood).

Submitted by whippersnapper on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 5:01pm.

People still watch this giant circle jerk of an awards show? Last time I watched it was when Nicholas Cage won for Leaving Las Vegas.

Submitted by squiggles on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:59pm.

@skabazzle:
Well, Kim Jong-il, Saddam Hussein, even Osama (loved Whitney) were supposedly obsessed w/ at least some aspects of pop culture - film, music, etc. So in some universe, they'd probably love to be there.

I'm looking forward to SBC being at the most self-congratulatory event of the year. I'll enjoy seeing some of them made uncomfortable. Just like Chris Rock put them all in their place one yr. He went down the block to a theater and questioned the patrons about the nominated films and none of them knew of them. They were all seeing Saw II, etc. LOL.

Submitted by squiggles on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:37pm.

Submitted by ursulahotname on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:32pm.

I admire his family; his cousin is one of the top autism researchers.

*****

I discovered this when writing my dissertation...kept coming across articles written by a Baron-Cohen so I did a little research and lo and behold...he was one of my most frequent references, lol. So random. SBC went to Oxford, I believe. Smartypants in that family.

Submitted by Gigaboob on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:24pm.

The only reason I'm watching this masturbatory event tomorrow is to see Billy Crystal, who I love, and to read the funny comments here on the liveblog. Don't care about SBC or any of those shallow whores.

Submitted by agirl on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:13pm.

LOL good for him. I heart him, and I think one day he will have an Oscar of his own (and yes I know he was nominated for screenplay for "Borat")

Plus IRL he is GORGEOUS.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:47pm.

Again, well played Borat! Good or bad, at least he's consistent in his tactics. The Oscars? Way to cave, bitches! Nobody gives a shit at this point! Hahahahaha ;D

♥---♥---♥
"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
"Gas station bathrooms should only be entered if you are on fire or in a zombie movie" ~ cracked.com

Submitted by Cowjam on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:42pm.

So is Isla going to walk down the carpet as Mrs. Dick, or as herself? Not gonna work unless he leaves her at home.

Submitted by JeanGenie on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:36pm.

Submitted by skabazzle on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:15pm.

If he were truly staying in character as a dictator, why would he even want to show up to the Oscars? Do dictators have much time on their hands to go to Hollywood award shows? At least with Borat and Bruno it would have made sense for the characters (somewhat).

***

They can do worse. That asshole Berlusconi's "bunga bunga" came from Gheddafi's rituals. He also spent a day in Italy and Berlusconi had something like 200 girls (all had to be beautiful, model-like - there was a casting for the whole thing) who were paid € 80 for the day.
And one of the infamous Berlusconi's beds, was a gift from his friend Putin.

Yeah, dictators have a fucking lot of time to screw around, it seems.

Sorry for the rant. There are things I just cannot be silent about.

---------
Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.

Submitted by lastdiva on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:27pm.

Thanks to MK, in my mind this character will henceforth and forever be "Kid N Play Chinwig."
=============================

"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by Heroic Cupcake on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:26pm.

The words "painfully and utterly retarded" can't even begin to describe this feces-slinger. This ape should really get "method" into a character who quietly retires permanently from the public eye because people are so fucking exhausted of him and his stupid fucking schtick. That would be an awesome role for Sascha to just totally lose himself in. Fucking wanker. Can you imagine how humiating it must be for that firecrotch wife of his to be married to this HAIRY, self-important windbag? Bitch must be flogging herself with a fat wad of Benjamins every night to soften the blow, comforting herself as she mentally quotes pivotal lines from the Tina Turner classic "private dancer".

Submitted by El Bastardo on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:10pm.

Submitted by ditquoi on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:34pm.

El B no shit huh? Well good for them. Let me restate. If she shows up on the red carpet with him when he pulls this stunt, I'll be sooo embarrassed for her.

Word homefries. He was funny for 10 minutes with Ali G. Borat was crap. Bruno made me feel sick and this stupid thing looks boring. He's run his course.

Submitted by NDNchief on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:05pm.

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

Ali G = meh
Borat = Hilarious
Bruno = terrible
Dictator = ?

Bjork = Good music IMO

Submitted by Tem on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:04pm.

Wait let me give them what they wanted:

Man I really didn't give a fuck one way or another until they banned this guy then I'm all "WHOA!" I mean who do these people think they are? You can't ban people from the Oscars it's a fucking public event!!! Amyway then I was thinking jeez this guy is interesting in his funny outfit and they OWE HIM!! THe more misplaced outrage I feel the more I am intrigued and am considering spending DOLLAR VALUE on seeing this film!

????????

Submitted by ditquoi on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:04pm.

El B no shit huh? Well good for them. Let me restate. If she shows up on the red carpet with him when he pulls this stunt, I'll be sooo embarrassed for her.

Submitted by Darth Stoner on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:03pm.

Mikey's mom is a G-E-N-I-U-S!

Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:02pm.

SBC is very far from an idiot, he is a comedic genius. I am surprised many of you who are on the D a lot can't see that, considering that you definitely have to have a great sense of humor to love this site, and then some of you are calling him an idiot etc while at the same time admitting you've never seen his HBO show Ali G or any of his movies....C'mon guys lame.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

Submitted by ursulahotname on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:02pm.

I like SBC's stuff, well not Bruno so much, the fact that at the end of the movie there were celebrities in on the joke seemed like it was elitist. Borat was really good I thought. He can't really do those types of movies anymore since he's too high profile now. ALI G was effing hilarious. I admire his family; his cousin is one of the top autism researchers.

The Artist was FABULOUS. I really hope it wins, it deserves it.

Submitted by Tem on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:00pm.

THIS WAS THE BEST PROMOTIONAL STUNT WE EVER FELL FOR

Submitted by cocoebert on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:59pm.

I wonder if he would ever play a deranged rabbi or if his antics are limited to stereotypes of Muslim characters?

Submitted by El Bastardo on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:58pm.

Submitted by ditquoi on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:05pm.

Isla Fisher must be sooooo embarrassed I bet these antics are why she hasn't married him yet.

Pssssssst. They married in 2010. She converted to Jewishness.

Submitted by Rdeadline on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:40pm.

Submitted by stepfordsteve on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:26pm.

A post about this idiot is not going to compel anyone to watch what everyone already knows will be a piece of shit (hours of wasted and killed time never to get back) show. With an endless parade of useless, soul-less, out of touch scum-bags that not very many in the whole wide world can identify with, its all business as usual is it not? Watch those commercials people which is 100% the reason they want you tuning in to crap on a Sunday night. How predictable it has all become
================================================

I haven't seen any of the movies nominated but The Help and that wasn't that great. I tune in for the clothes.

Submitted by ditquoi on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:35pm.

Isla Fisher must be sooooo embarrassed I bet these antics are why she hasn't married him yet.

Submitted by aradia07 on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:21pm.

I have tried to watch this guy with an open mind to see what all the fuss was about. I never found him all that funny, just annoying.
Does anyone remember Ali G on HBO?

Submitted by rotten_egg on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:16pm.

Mharker:
Maybe it's just a publicity stunt on both parts that backfired somehow. I'm all for special funny/amusing segments in shows but I think for them to truly work, they have to hire really funny people. All I've read about Sacha and his characters is that they're controversial... rarely funny. I don't know, I haven't seen Sacha act in any of his characters.. but I used to like Jim Carrey back in his In Living Color days.

18thCenturyFox :
I assume you like Bjork, but I just don't.

Dog:
Ha! you described exactly what they're about. I've tried many times to listen to her music to see what others see, but every attempt ended up being an epic fail. I don't like her style, it's just different for the sake of being "hip and different" and her voice isn't bad by itself, but the way she screeches and yodells irks me. She isn't far from CaCa, who both try way too fucking hard and as you very well put it "think their talent is astronomical when it's nominal at best". What makes them "big" is their fan base's validation and who support that idea that they are super talented hip chicks.

**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by oldpossum on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:15pm.

this guy is total a mental retard.

'Nuff said.

Submitted by DivasGone on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:12pm.

He's trying soooo hard to be the Andy Kaufman of our time... The thing is that it never really seemed like Andy Kaufman was trying.

Submitted by Bwhit19964 on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:10pm.

I keep seeing Adam Sandler in "Don't Mess With the Zohan". Anyone else?

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:02pm.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 3:10pm.
Submitted by My Own Evil Twin on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:51pm.

From what I read the current boyfriend (Dominic Purcell) also likes the kinky shit but is straight, so that makes Kellan Lutz the gay ex.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by stepfordsteve on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:56pm.

Submitted by skabazzle on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:45pm.

Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:40pm.

Submitted by My Own Evil Twin on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:51pm.

In case anyone's interested... CDAN revealed two Blind Item posts this aft...

1) This actress is B list for now. When her crap show goes off the air on that almost network, then I fully expect to see her at a comfortable D. She is the star of the show. Well, at least has the most name recognition. Reason? Shrewd. So shrewd. Dated a B list gay movie actor when he was scorching hot and in a huge couple of movies so got in a lot of pap photos. Although they tried to have sex once or twice, it never really worked out, but what she did learn was how to tie him to the bed and beat him with a paddle. He loved it. Turns out, she loved doing it. Her new boyfriend? A C list actor, maybe B- if you are a fan. They had nothing in common and she was tired of him hitting on her. Then one day he started talking about what he liked in bed. Same thing as the other actor, but this time she does not have to beard.

AnnaLynne McCord

^^^^^^^^^^^

Not sure about this simply because she was and is dating Dominic Purcell who is most certainly NOT gay. The only thing gross about these two is he is in his forties and she is 21.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:38pm.

SBC doesn't bug me, but this story is stupid and boring. As far as the Oscars go, I don't have a TV or go to the movies so I don't give a FUCK who wins or what people are wearing. Honestly, I don't even know who's nominated.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:36pm.

Let me check.

Hmmm.

Nope, I don't give a shit. Seriously, who even cares about the Oscars anymore? They're a big wankfest where Hollywood stands around and congratulates itself for whatever artier flicks it's pooped out in the last year.

Oh, I'm not saying the movies are bad, many of them are amazing. But the awards are total wank.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by RichBitch on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:32pm.

This year's oscar contenders = shit show.
Without films like Drive, Melancholia and Shame included these awards are a fucking joke.

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:29pm.

Just like Mike Myers, SBC is hanging on way too long to what was once a funny idea. Now he's just making an asshole out of himself. Which might explain the beard. He needs to get another act or retire. I'm sure he can afford it.

Submitted by My Own Evil Twin on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:21pm.

In case anyone's interested... CDAN revealed two Blind Item posts this aft...

AnnaLynne McCord

2) This A list mogul set the standard for every record producer/artist who came after him. Well, they would probably go ahead and not want the first wife, but everything else is ok. Anyway, lately our mogul has been going on blind dates. His only rule? "They need to be white and not talk very much."

Russell Simmons

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:21pm.

Can we not make this about his being Jewish, people? I mean, who cares? He's an idiot no matter what religion he is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:18pm.

@ Cripbabe You stated that well.

"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:13pm.

I know that death erases people's memories oftentimes but Amy, Kurt and Whitney were all known to be major cunts at one time or another.

"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:11pm.

Submitted by rotten_egg on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:04pm.

I truly think Bjork and Yoko Ono were sisters in another life because in this life the two of them are useless, untalented, screechers who think their talent is astronomical when it's nominal at best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:10pm.

If it were between Björk and Callas I know who I would put my money on. Don't fuck with the Björk.

"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon

Submitted by Joeb on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:07pm.

The trailer for "Dick" is somewhere between hateful and awful. It's not that there's a movie promotion going on at Oscar, it's that this embarrassing fool is allowed to just take over like the spoiled, entitled child he is.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:40pm.

Submitted by Gracejones on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 2:18pm.
What an annoying cunt. He is alive while Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain are dead

******************************

Hmmmm, that could be because he isn't an alcoholic drug addict, or 93 yrs old (referring to the Mandela portion of the post).

Submitted by bitchSpray on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:06pm.

i love, love Borat because that was such a big FUCK OFF sign to the tired ass american culture.

but Bruno and this (whatever that is)... no, it's just a spin off of what's already been done

Submitted by Mama Bear on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 12:53pm.

SBC's schtick is old, but I think the academy and the stars take this shit WAY too seriously. Lighten up folks and maybe I'd watch. I actually haven't watched since the early days of the Fashion Police and then the internet bloggers were around to show me what everyone was wearing.

Submitted by cripbabe on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 12:52pm.

I agree with your mom, because this red carpet, glam shit is really getting old. what's so fucking special about insanely wealthy people being loaned fancy, glittery gowns and baubles to wear on their way in to a self-congratulatory event?

more than ever, we need Cher or Bjork - hell, even Sharon Stone in a white Gap shirt - to break up the dreary, endless monotony of "so who are you wearing?". just once I wish some bitch would snap, "I'm wearing a gown that goes back to the tacky queen that designed it while snorting too much coke and getting a blowjob from his assistant while he draped it!"