Lindsay Lohan Is Serious About Staying Sober This Time
Lindsay Lohan shot an interview with Matt Lauer for Today this morning (it airs Thursday) to promote her SNL shit this weekend, her ruining of Elizabeth Taylor's image and her devotion to delusion, because she mouth farted out the same shit she said last year. Last year, LiLo told Matt that she was completely keeping her nostrils clean of the bad shit and was on her way to giving mouth-to-mouth to her ravaged carcass of a career. We all know how that turned out. This time, LiLo told Matt that she was totally talking out of her crack hole last year and she now knows she has to prove herself by not acting like a crack bag of fuck ups. As you mutter to yourself "actions fart louder than words" over again, read what LiLo had to say this time:
On if she was high on denial during her last interview: "Definitely and I think it was -- it's a scary thing to have to kind of express to people ... I wasn't as comfortable with myself then. I think it was a fear factor that I had about what was really going on. And, you know, I had to get that wakeup call."On her party monster ways: "That's not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn't fun for me. I've become more of a homebody. And I like that."
On if whether or not the industry is at a point where they can trust her to show up on time and do the job: "I think that that's gonna take -- I think that takes time. And I think that it's actions. Because people can say things all they want, but I think I still need to go through the process of proving myself, you know, with 'SNL,' being on time, being, you know, keeping my -- can't say the word -- but stuff together."
On how the dirt in Elizabeth Taylor's grave will get a good mulching from all the rolling: "We're in the middle of casting and figuring -- we start production soon. I've been doing tons of research. But I've always kind of researched her. She's always been a fascinating woman to me. So I'm really honored. And I will not let anyone down, especially myself."
On how she hopes SNL will show directors and producers that they don't have to be afraid of investing in her ass anymore: "I don't want people to have that reason to be scared anymore. So being able to have this opportunity with 'SNL' and the film, I'm gonna do what I'm supposed to do, and enjoy doing it, and do it as best as I can."
Yes, LiLo is the epitome of a homebody and she's always sipping chamomile tea on her loveseat while watching G-rated Hallmark Hall of Fame movies in her footie pajamas. Just like she did this past weekend, and last week, and a couple of weeks before that. But then again, the bar is her home, so it's not like she's lying.
LiLo's whole "I'M A CHANGED CRACKIE" shit reminds me of the story I told on Twitter this past weekend. I was at a bar that was cash only and all I had was $5 on me. So I had to run to the ATM to get booze money and on my way back I run into this nearly toothless dude who could've been homeless. I was already vulnerable, because I was only 3/4th drunk and needed my drank bad. I kind of nodded as he told me that he's a recovering (unintelligible) and that he needs money to get back to his family in (unintelligible). My smallest bill was the $5, so I handed it to him. He said, "I only asked you for a $1 and you gave me $5." He sort of stared at me blankly for a second and I expected him to throw a thanks at me or maybe hug me. I don't know. I just knew I had a delicious cup of the sweet nectar waiting for me and wanted to get out of there. That's when this ho knocked me in the face with some audacity and said, "You know what would really make this $5 better? Another $5." That bold bitch motherfucker. Who the hell says that shit? I should've snatched that $5 back and then told @lindsaylohan to come and get her relative on the corner of 22nd and 8th.
Here's LiLo in NYC last night looking like a greasy weave ball caught in a shower drain. Come to think of it, that homeless dude was carrying an orange Birkin bag...
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I dont know....but I think LILO is next...if you know what I mean...
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
She wants it both ways: in-demand actress and party girl.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by upstatestruggler on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:52am.
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Life on the street is a bitch. If I give something out to someone, that's it. And I wound't give out cheap shit! I may fume, but don't care what they say back and I don't expect gratitude, figure their circumstances are hard enough. Can't blame the hustle, you know?
OT: This crackie is still on hiatus to me... ;p
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"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:41pm.
Her bloated face is the tell tale proof she's still drinking. Heavily.
check this M.E. this more than proves it doncha think? This is chick is NOT sober. Trust me on that.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2107975/Lindsay-Lohan-swear...
That hair is just dreadful. She needs to go back to her natural color. This platinum blond thing is not working at all. It makes her look much, much older.
She is as disgusting as Snookie.
Oh, and how does this bitch afford ANYTHING from Hermes? A Birkin bag ( the trash accessory of the nouveau riche) and a belt? GMAFB!
Her bloated face is the tell tale proof she's still drinking. Heavily.
**Submitted by MundoLoco on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:23pm.
what's up with her double chin? this crackhead amuses me.
prescription pills or coke bloat!! i say pills since they make you look like wax and swollen after a long time using....
she makes me sick. HOW many times have we heard this same bullshit story?
And I agree, if she WERE sober, she'd mention EXACTLY how many DAYS.
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I've paid my dues, time after time
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime
And bad mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
what's up with her double chin? this crackhead amuses me.
A liar says what?
Yeah Blohan, I'm sober too. As of 9:05pm last night.
i also thought the beauty in the back was La Rue Willis......
I got some really cheap shitty sushi at a restaurant in Denver once. I put it in a bag and took it out to the street. the 15th hobo I offered that shit to took it and said, "you know what would be good with this? A couple of 40s"
I snatched that bag and threw it in the street in front of a car
crackie says what?
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Playin dog-fuckin' porno 'ho falls thru and then you are actually lowered into play Elizabeth Taylor. That's about as low as it gets.
It takes work to look this bad with all that money and youth. (Not even 25! And those fillers. They're HIDEOUS. I didn't even use concealer until I was mid-20s.) Lindsay's done. It'd be one thing if she was simply an addict who was having a hard time getting sober, but she seems to have a personality disorder (narcissistic? sociopathic?) and she really believes these lies she keeps telling everyone.
She's lost her looks, and in Hollywood for a woman, unless you're Meryl Streep, it's over. She's as haggard as Pamela Anderson and she has almost 20 years on her. People are just paying attention to the trainwreck she's become...
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:09am.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 10:55am.
who is the dazzling beauty in the LV scarf!?
it's either Jonah Hill or SNL's Pat.
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*DIES LAUGHING*
*gets golden ticket for short bus to hell*
She must be tired of having to bang Vikram and his buddies for cash.
I just watched a clip from the upcoming interview and Lauer asked her how long she's been sober. She just said a long time. BULLSHIT. Anyone who is sober after going through rehab or is in AA knows TO THE DAY how long they've been sober. She couldn't say and clearly was trying to think up something. She is a damn liar.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
She just looks SO bad as a white blonde. Her face wouldn't look so jacked up if she went back to her natural color.
LOL Ophelia, I though maybe it was Tom Cruises adopted daughter or a long lost Willis
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 10:55am.
who is the dazzling beauty in the LV scarf!?
it's either Jonah Hill or SNL's Pat.
Submitted by Few Words on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 10:56am.
Lol, seriously. But is anyone going to pay to see her beef curtains get nailed?
yes, but in the clip he asked her how long she's been sober and bitch evaded the question with nothing more than a "um, it's been a while" - what the fuck does that mean?? two months, three months - HOW LONG, YA DUMB SLAG - SPILL!!
plus, since when is an appearance hosting "SNL" so heralded that it amounts to a "comeback"?
and really, that 3-pack-a-day rasp is UBER-disturbing and will only go so far. Liz Taylor might've supported her for being a recovering asswipe, but she's rolling in her grave knowing this 'ho's going to impersonate her.
it's sad, she's like a lot of the students in the art program at my school: truth is they just don't have the chops. it requires actual skill but they're in complete denial and they love the "lifestyle" of being an artist so much, they devote all this time and energy into something they really aren't meant to be doing...
i mean lindsay, are you really so ABOVE trying to get a real job like the majority of americans? are you afraid you couldn't even get a job at a mcdonald's (no offense to mcdonald's employees)?
If you were at Barracuda, that toothless dude was me...that fiver was counterfit bitch.
JUST DO PORN ALREADY.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
who is the dazzling beauty in the LV scarf!?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Okay, so lookit: I know all of us Schadenfreude addicts are sworn to hate LiLo for all eternity, but I actually want to see her get her shit together and have a respectable career again.
Mean Girls. Never forget. And extra credit for Machete.
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Devil's advocate.
Unfortunately, I don't think she's learned anything and I think she still believes she's entitled to special treatment, freebies, etc., just because of who she is. She needs to take lessons on being humble and thankful.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
She sounds awfully GLIB...
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 9:58am.
Are those busted extensions made of the silk from ears of corn???
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Nothing so wholesome as CORN would touch the head of this decrepit junkie. It must be some heretofore unknown substance found only in gutters.
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Submitted by tojo on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 1:54am.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 1:14am.
Submitted by NDNchief on Tue, 02/28/2012 - 10:33pm.
SNL !?! Bitch that's a week of work. Nobody in their right mind would trust months long production time and millions of dollars on this Crackula. What insurance company would gamble on this fuckup?
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Werd. But smart of them at SNL. People will watch to see if she fucks up on live TV. If she doesn't - publicity. If she does - more publicity. WIN WIN for SNL, possible partial win for Blowhan.
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Agreed! The biggest winner here is SNL...
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She did fuck up on her last SNL appearance. She ran off stage laughing during the Debbie Downer sketch. Tina Fey was all worried about her but got brushed off.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Are those busted extensions made of the silk from ears of corn???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I remember when Drew Barrymore was saying this shit. But I actually believed her and now 20 years later, she's proven she had the guts to stick to it.
She was FOURTEEN.
Hometrick Hohan is pushing 25 and has been playing this tired hand for half of her career. She should just go away for a few years and then come back to Hollywood. If they are giving her chances like this now they would still be there when she returned. She obviously has alot of growing up to do.
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Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 9:32am.
If she moved to Nebraska or Oregon and only came to Hollywood to work, I would have more faith in her, but she stays in Cali and I never go more than two days without seeing her out at night... not good.
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Miss T Indeed, That's the one (of many) thing that pisses me off in rooting for her. I've said as well she has to get the fuck out of Dodge if she ever going to get better and show the industry she's serious.
You need to go away to make a comeback.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 9:32am.
But my biggest fear is she will become huge again, rich again, and use that money on drugs.
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I'm not trying to be snarky, but honestly I don't think that's EVER gonna happen...(The big & rich part...the drug part, oh yes that's a given)
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...the end
Of course I'll goof on her like the hypocrite I am but I'm actually rooting for this little numbskull. I want her to get healthy & get her shit together.
She's an actress so she's good at pretending and being the character everyone expects her to be. I would like to see her succeed. But my biggest fear is she will become huge again, rich again, and use that money on drugs. If she moved to Nebraska or Oregon and only came to Hollywood to work, I would have more faith in her, but she stays in Cali and I never go more than two days without seeing her out at night... not good.
They were showing a clip of the interview and I had to change the channel. Her eyes are darting all over the place as she gropes for lies to the simplest questions. That raspy 65 year old 3-pack-a-day-for-50-years voice? I just can't. She looks like a 45 year old truck-stop hooker. I know that's been said a million times, but it's so dead-balls-on accurate.
I don't believe a word that comes out of that duck lip mouf her hers.
Especially this story
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2105692/Lindsay-Lohan-revea...
oh and she will fail miserably not because of the sobriety thing but because of lack of talent.
Nobody sober has that hair.
I'd elaborate but U'm afraid i can only just barely type at this point in time, going veeeery slowly, all this Xanax and loverly Malbec after a supernaturally long =-ass day. I like this bitch, always have, think she has a vulnerable and lost-soul heart and is confused beyond belief and excruciatingly sad. No fuckin way will i snark upon a person in this sort of place in life. Just not gonna do it.
Her hair is a travesty,however, that's all I'm gonna say. And her parents should =,should spontaneously combust or get mafioso-hit or, or get eaten alive by packs of rabid hyaenas.
My bad pour les typos, my friends; god bless xanax1!
Nothing but love.
Long time lurker, first time commenter here...
This trick! I love how she says she doesn't want to let her self down. Like the producers, directors and fellow actors in the grade Z Lifetime movies care about her self fulfillment! Listen kid, they want the movie to be good enough that Kotex will want to buy ad space. This ain't "Sophie's Choice"! It's SNL and Lifetime's "Mother,may I sleep with Vikram." Also, over on Jezebel (sorry) a commenter has a lovely pic of her hard at work on her SNL lines. She's got a supply of Mac N Cheese in the foreground all wholesome like and a lazy eye and a bottle of Stoli in the background.
"This is the best costume for the day, you understand..."
double yawn.
let's demote LiLo to Afternoon Crumbs material. She's starting to get repetitive.
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
Imma put this fresh-looking 50 y.o. crackie on hiatus for a while. Hope it sticks, good luck...
MK, love the $5 bill story. He took you for a softy in your "vulnerable" condition! Lucky you didn't hand over any more. Happened to me in a cab once, except the bitch convinced me he had NO CHANGE! haha :D
"devotion to delusion" hehehe
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"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
Ugh! I am so sick of her! We don't give other Lifetime stars this much attention.
this cokey and vicodin pic tells the truth:
http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/10/lindsay-lohan-and-dina-lohan-love...
Out with her mom the cokehead, on some sort of opiate nearly nodding while standing, prolly switch to all legitimate prescription drugs to pass her pre-production insurance physicals.
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:33am. "I hate to admit it but I fucking love her clothes & bag."
Is that a real BIRKIN??!! Maybe she IS trying to stay clean, she could trade if for a crap load of the bad shit!
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