Tim Tebow And Taylor Swift Went On A Date
File this under: Rick Santorum's answer to Brangelina (sorry, Duggars) has been found.
This is one of those gross things that I never saw coming, but should've seen coming, because it is a match made in wholesome boring Aryan heaven. Both Celebuzz and Clevver News say earth's only direct connection to Jesus, Tim Tebow, and the American Anne of Green Gables, Taylor Swift, went out to dinner together on Monday night after meeting at a pre-Oscar party last week. I can try to use all of my brain's energy to come up with a couple name for these two, but it's easier and more fitting just to call them: UGH!!!!!
Celebuzz says that Taylor skipped up to Tim at WME's pre-Oscar party on Sunday night and started talking to him for over an hour. Talking to Taylor for over an hour would make me Tebow right over a toilet, but he was obviously into that shit, because he took her out for dinner on Monday night. Clevver News says that Taylor and Tim skipped into Century City's Toscanova restaurant and sat with a small group. Tim and Taylor didn't leave together, but he walked her out like the true gentlemen that he is. GROSS!
You know, some bitches have been trying to tell me that Tim Teblowjob is as gay as the image of me ordering a pouf from Cb2 (or the image of me dancing to an Atomic Kitten song in the shower while soaping myself up with a turquoise puff full of strawberry-scented body wash), but he never made me fart out a rainbow until now. Dating Taylor Swift is to gaydars as the cast of Jersey Shore is to breathalyzers. Taylor can make a gaydar overload and explode. Nothing says "I LOVE TO GARGLE ON A PEEN HEAD" like "dating" Renee Zellweger-in-training Taylor Swift.
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Chasing Windmills...Yeah...I believe that is the Mormons. aka - Latter Day Saints. Could be wrong, though. But it is definitely one of the door-to-door religions.
"build a mosque where the the WTC and 3000 American citizens used to be "
A. It wasn't a mosque. It was a community center which also had a Muslim prayer room in it. B. There are actual mosques that are closer to Ground Zero. They've been there for years, yet people continue to squack about the community center. The 1st Amendment says that the gov't shall not establish a state religion. That means that people OTHER THAN Christians are allowed to worship freely. Even *gasp* Muslims.
I feel sort of bad for people who are so in denial about the HORRIBLE things their country has done in other countries that they insult anyone who DARES to question said country. i.e. - Rev. Jeremiah Wright, for one!
We should never have been in Iraq, for one thing. Thousand of American troops and Iraqi citizens died for no good reason except that Bush had a hard-on for Saddam. I was not commenting on the burning of the Korans (although, duh? Maybe not a good thing to do considering how angry/violent it makes people...esp. when it's being done covertly by a bunch of Dominionists trying to convert people. Not buying that other story.)...I meant, in general. We have been assholes in other nations. Truth!
Good gawd, is there a man left Taylor Swift hasn't banged? she like a feaking succubus.
Can we just call them "Twift"? It sounds like "quiff".
Taebo has a certain ring to it. So does Swiftbow, for that matter. Wait... what?
Please PLEASE can their couple name be "Twift" ?
pfk, Thorn Acacia - 84.07 + Angular Discharge Tube - Basalt- 25.008 + Minced Oath - giraffe’s + Quadragintillion = 7465.95fk
Tebow was the quarterback at the University of Florida, which is in the same conference (SEC) as the university in the state where I live. Because of this, I have read several Tebow quotes during his time there (even though I'm not interested in football unless I have money on it) where he has basically said he knows God doesn't give a flying fuck about the game, let alone who wins it, and he made the same gestures during those games, too. There, you see? Even Tebow knows there are more important issues for his God than him.
Hekki-I don't know what would happen if "some" Muslim was as outspoken and demonstrative about HIS faith (although if he was winning American football games I'm sure it would be just dandy for everyone involved with his particular team as long as he didn't go so far with his demonstrating as to build a mosque where the the WTC and 3000 American citizens used to be or drown his 3 sisters for becoming too westernized a la that case in Canada. And btw, there were several very well known preachers who were very vocal before 9/11 in their admiration of Islam for its teachings on women and homosexuals and actually said afterward that we deserved it because of our 'moral decay' as a nation. See! Bet you never thought Hollywood and lefties would ever have anything in common with jimmy falwell!) but I DO know what would happen to Tebow if he did his thing in Afghanistan (or Iran or SA or Sudan or Yemen or Libya or...), and I do know how ridiculed he was by the lefty sports media even while his untalented Christian ass was winning supposedly un-winnable games. I hate to tell you this, but that's the sort of thing that wakes up the Pat Robertson's of the world. Here's a few other things that wake up that element of our society (along with almost everybody else): an atheist group in Wisconsin suing a small Texas town for its nativity scene. The New York public school system deciding to teach a "more realistic" sex education program to middle school kids, parents be damned - "Children, this is what's known as fist fucking. Now repeat after me: fist fucking. Video tomorrow!" There are a lot of people who do not want anyone turning to anything that may give them the strength and fortitude to reach their potential. Those people want us all to be a number in a collective where the government is our god. That means cunts like that nancy pelosi bitch will be making all of the decisions concerning what's best for you (and the collective!), and believe me, she doesn't give a shit about you. She doesn't know you and she doesn't want to know you.
Anonymous73-"... much like people think God blesses America... and so it's ok to kill off a bunch of people in other nations..." If that's what you think of your country then you are pathetic. I congratulate whoever helped to wake you out of your self-absorbed slumber so you could see things that way. They obviously knew you didn't have the intellectual curiosity to educate yourself on these issues that are supposedly so important to you. Btw, those Afghani soldiers (trained by OUR soldiers) don't seem very afraid of us, do they? After all, where's the fear when they are at this very minute turning on OUR soldiers (you know, the ones who answer "school supplies for Afghani children" whenever they are asked what they need sent over to make THEIR lives better? They even answered the same way when Bush was President!) because some taliban asswipe prisoners chose to defile their own Korans with terrorist messages that were confiscated and burned per U.S. military protocol.
Tim brought Taylor to Matt Lillard's game night!!!!! BOOOOOO!
oh fuck, this isnt good.
this means taylor is already penning the lyrics her new album of romeo and juliet long songs, AS WELL as the break up song, in preparation for the relationship break up.
Michael how DARE you bring Anne of Green Gables, one of the original hot gingers, into this mess! Taylor is no ginge. No Anne. Just stop that!
Doesn't matter whether he prays or not, so long as he doesn't tell others what to do. Same with homosexuality, he should worry about himself and let others be!
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Submitted by mitchyul on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:18pm.
She must be a boring fuck.
But how, if she's NEVER seen a peen in real life?! HAHAHA
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"The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here." MK
Taylor Swift is a low class, unprofessional, thin-lipped litto whore. And Tebow? I would blow him till the top of my head caves in but I think he's dating that f-baller that he was kissing in the photo.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
I don't care if they are gay or not, how they pray or what they eat. They are both as boring as chalk.
So...Tebow is gay?
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by cattitude on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:03pm.
That comparison is an insult to Anne of Green Gables.
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LOL! So true!
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"The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here." MK
You know, maybe he is worth more than just jo material, I am thinking about putting some hot sauce on that path- and I don’t mean the condiment. ..
' .....
Nevermind
submitted by Cara on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 5:08pm.
Focus on the Family should be classified as a hate group. Fuck Tebow.
I was just going to say that! They are a bunch of brainwashed asswipes giving people advice on how to live like a "Christian".
Boring couple alert. This is not helping the rumors Tebow is in the closet.
Focus on the Family should be classified as a hate group. Fuck Tebow.
She's a dyke. Scissoring bamboo dildo having dyke.
Maybe they'll go to a revival meeting on their first date. That's bound to please 95% of the Mid-west.
So tebow hires a PR person and this is what we get him and the queen of the beards?
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 1
She is a whore, LisaRose, honey. A downlow, dirty, rotten stinking lowlife, STD carrying, evil slut-whore.
You forgot to add hussy at the end.
*kisses*
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
I can't stand either of these two for their famewhoring.
Yes, I think Tebow is a famewhore. He's riding that publicity train all the way to the bank through magazine covers, endorsements, and "date rumors" - choo choo!!!
I think she is gay. Which would explain all the bearding(?) Anyway, who cares. I think she's great. I don't know anything about that Tim stranger-bitch, though.
What does liking or not liking a celebrity have to do with their sexuality?
I just can't imagine him Teboning her. Ugh.
Katy Perry tried being his beard anyway.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
"Wholesome boring Aryan heaven"
What an unbelievably racist (and yet staggeringly ill-thought out to the point of almost nullifying the racism) comment.
They are so damn vanilla they're bordering on ecru.
If Tbag is hiding the gay with god I feel bad for him. What a horrible way to live. Hating yourself like that.
Someone needs to save him from himself. Timmy life is very short and you need to be happy. Run away to some country where you can live the way you want to.
In Canada marriage is for everyone and weed is legal. Come on!!!
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Surfing the apocalypse.
I think Taylor Swift is a gayelle. Taylor and her "best friend" Abigail could be the new Oprah & Gail.
I like Taylor Swift...
No matter how much you try to protect him, Tebow has come out against homosexuality. Browse all his shit on Andy Towle's site.
What does this have to do with him going to an Oscar party? Well, being a very open Jesus lover, shouldn't he walk the talk and stay away from the gays, less he become tainted?
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:33pm.
There's this pet salon in between the dry cleaners & dominos & every week this lady carries her two bischon's out from their appointment. God forbid their feet touch the ground. lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:38pm.
I kind of have a crush on Tim...*dodges tomatoes*
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I DO haz a crush on him. And I won't duck a damn thing for saying it.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:24pm.
Fundamentalists are "highly favored". Or so they think.
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Isn't there a religion out there that believes that only 133,000 people go to heaven and they must be of that religion? The same religion that goes door to door looking for converters? I saw a comedienne talking about this once and I have to agree with her. No way would I be going door to door if the magic number for entrance is 133,000 than I would want to up my odds. Ha.
You're referring to Jehovah Witnesses. I think the number is around 144,000, still doesn't improve your chances lol.
I kind of have a crush on Tim...*dodges tomatoes*
And did you hear how Timmy and Jeremy Lin are, like, ToTaLlY besties now?!?!? They talk on the phone all the time *ahem* about God *ahem*.
WHATEV! I'm not a Tebow or Taylor fan. And, no way in Hell do I buy Taylor's claim that she's super happy being single. I watched that interview, and she nearly choked on her tear-soaked tongue when she said it.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Skinny Horse and The Donkey. If the Donkey is all about purity, then what is he doing with her.
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:32pm.
Dog...that avie! Lmao.
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I'm tryna figure out where its ears be.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dog...that avie! Lmao.
I love AngieHo's dress especially that it's black velvet.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:24pm.
Imagine if some Muslim ball player was as outspoken and demonstrative about HIS faith.
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Or a Satanist. Now THAT would be entertaining. "He drops back, sees so-and-so in the end zone, he fires the ball down the field, TOUCHDOWN - HAIL SATAN!"
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:29pm.
DOG! You look MAH-VAH-LOUS!
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Ah stuck mah paw in a light socket!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
DOG! You look MAH-VAH-LOUS!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:24pm.
Imagine if some Muslim ball player was as outspoken and demonstrative about HIS faith.
Very true, Hekki.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:24pm.
...I can tell you that he does most likely think that his God decides who wins the game...
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He thinks no such thing. He prays for protection prior to the game and gives thanks after a TD. He doesn't think God is going to make his team win the game just because he's a Christian or for any other reason, FFS.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Imagine if some Muslim ball player was as outspoken and demonstrative about HIS faith.
Listen, I've been in Church 24/7 prayin' to Jesus to drop that Santorum guy and spend a little magic time on poor, innocent Lil' Timmy. While it's perfectly natural for any 24 Y.O. Virgin to be ga-ga at his first Oscar Weekend, it has been noted that he was the only NFL quarterback in attendance and that it really doesn't take a signed contract with William Morris to get a date with acclaimed chanteuse, covergirl and apple picker Swift. People out here talk and, yes, that talk leads to the Devil's Soup: gossip. So what I heard was...
I'm anti-religion but I don't mind Tebow at all. Compared to rancid fuckshits like Vick and Worthlesburger, at least Timmy seems like a nice guy.