Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

She’s supposed to be the doting mother. Ask the people who help her with her kids. They certainly don’t agree.

First of all she’s never around. And when she’s present she’s distant, not only not involved, but almost irresponsible about it. One of her children may have developmental challenges. As such, diet can exacerbate the issue. Since she can only spend so much time with her children, and often slotted in like appointments in her schedule, she doesn’t bother observing the food requirements that can help with the child’s behaviour. Mom supplies junk food because it’s quick and dirty so that she can get out of there that much faster. When the kid acts out because of the shit he’s just consumed, she’s incapable of dealing with it and takes off anyway.

It’s left then to the staff to raise her family. How does she treat them? Nannies’ cell phones are confiscated at 8am and not returned until 10pm. There’s a trusting and kind working environment, non? Totally encourages loyalty.

As you expect, bosses like this always play favourites. Her favourite? Curiously enough, it’s the bodyguard. He’s been seen rubbing her feet. Of course that had nothing to do with the separation …even though the foot massages have been happening for a while now.

It’s not Gwyneth Paltrow. (Lainey Gossip)

Let’s do the math:

Takes a 5 minute break from the ho stroll to throw Arby’s at her chirruns for dinnertimes before getting back to the ho stroll +

Is paranoid that her nannies will document her foolery on their cell phones and sell it to Radar for a quick check +

Thinks she’s the Whitney to her bodyguard’s Kevin Costner +

Totally has her head stuck up fame’s asshole –

GOOP = Hmmm. I’m still not sure yet. Wait, if I carry the cunt, I get KATE GOSSELIN?

Which reality show star was spotted acting erratically on a recent flight from New York to LAX? Yes, this person made at least 20 visits to the bathroom on this nearly 6 hours flight, and our spy says that during one of those visits, was spotted reaching into the back of his pants and pulling something out before fully closing the door. And in between these visits? Well our star was just chatting everybody up: From fellow first-class passengers, even making his way past the fabled curtain to shmooze the plebes sitting in coach. Nope, no naps for this guy. Just an apparent bladder problem and lots of talking. He also apparently kept throwing napkins into the aisle, which were quickly cleared by the patient flight attendants. (Best Week Ever)

The Situation? It isn’t what you think, though. Bitch probably keeps a tube of self-tanner up his Jersey Turnpike, because he thinks his tan will fade on a 5 hour flight and he always needs to keep his shit poppin.

So, this very solid A list movie actor who has rocketed to almost A+ status in the past year has had a series of gorgeous girlfriends. Back to back to back they have been B+ or A list actresses. Anyway, it seems that our actor is not above getting a little male action on the side. Never a main course, but always on the side. He also prefers them younger than him. Our actor has been sending e-mails to a brand new A list actor who is just getting started with his own franchise. The two actors have been communicating, and even gone out once or twice, but so far the young actor is resisting the advances of the A lister. (CDAN)

In the deepest part of my wet dreams, I want this to be Ryan Gosling, because it’s really time for a “Hey boy…” meme. But I’ll say Bradley Cooper and that Liam Hemsworth dude?

He used be a genuinely nice guy. Serious about his music, surrounded by people who cared about him, kind to his fans, grateful for his good fortune.

Then he surrounded himself with an entourage of users and hangers-on and everything changed. The members of this entourage are very versatile. His drummer is also his drug dealer. His bodyguard parties with him and engages in Twitter wars for him. The models double as escorts. The rest of the party crowd uses his name to hawk their wares, everything from jewelry to drugs. He doesn’t mind. It makes him feel popular. Then there’s the slimy actor pal who has quite the impressive track record of ruining young lives (and is about to add one more to the list).

Thanks to his choice of friends, the formerly wholesome singer started doing drugs last year… and hasn’t stopped since. He now drinks every day and parties every night. The party usually starts around 4 PM, the shots of Patron start at 8 PM, and then it’s constant drinking and smoking cigars and drugs until 4 or 5 or 6 AM, even when he’s scheduled to work the next day. As he gets more and more loaded throughout the night, he likes to rail about how much he hates his life, how much he hates his family, and about how he’s the one who really deserves the success one of his band mates is now experiencing.

He’s going downhill fast. He’s been blowing off writing sessions and missing rehearsals. The rest of his group (who genuinely do care about him) make excuses for him and reschedule rehearsals again and again. He doesn’t seem to care about anything except the alcohol and the drugs and being the king of his party entourage. He even ditched a charity event last week because he decided that he would rather go party in Miami. He has nothing but contempt for his fans (he makes fun of them and tells them to “get a life”). And all that smoking has completely ruined his voice.

Yes, he used to be a genuinely nice guy. Now he’s just an ungrateful, jealous, bitter alcoholic with a smoke-ruined voice, surrounded by users and losers, hating his fans, hating his life.

We know you’re reading this. Get help, dude. (Blind Gossip)

Joe Jonas and Wilmer Valderrama? And maybe it’s because I’m an awful person, but booze and drugs sounds more fun to me than purity rings and Disney songs.