Ashley Olsen Is Retiring From Acting FOREVER!!!!!
The Hollywood sign still has dried tears on it from when Amanda Bynes quit acting for five seconds that one time, and now it has to suffer through the pain of knowing that one of the goth trolls who used to nibble on the bones of squirrels under it has retired from the acting world for the rest of eternity. Ashley Olsen is really busy selling $39,000 backpacks to total fucking morons and she no longer has a passion for memorizing lines and saying them in a dead monotone voice in front of a camera. While Mary-Kate Olsen is acting in a bunch of crap, Ashley tells Elle UK that she's through with it:
“We worked non-stop until we were 18. Then we decided to take a break and go to school – and that was when we decided to question whether we would carry on in entertainment. It was time to step behind the process. I wanted to work on other things.It doesn’t mean I’m not interested in Hollywood, I like the way it operates and the people who are involved and the sense of possibility. But if I ever do get back in, it’s not going to be as an actress. It just felt right to move away.”
But...but... If a movie needs two pieces of driftwood covered in yellow seaweed, who's going to play the other one? If Hollywood does a reimagining of The Shining with The Chronicles of Narnia characters in the lead roles, who's going to play the other Gollum Twin? Oh well, I guess if Hollywood really needs another Olsen Troll, they'll get the Illuminati to make them another one using a garden gnome and the blood of a sacrificed chipmunk. At least we'll always have Holiday in the Sun.
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@ ba-buttons, my theory is that the B.O. is part of the control thing, along with the eating disorder. I'd be stinking psycho too, if I'd spent my whole life knowing half the world wants to see pictures of me doing twin-cest and the other half is posing me for said pictures. Friggen stage parents.
@ itsbritney bitches I caught that too, the remark about liking the way Hollywood operates. Can she be any less self-aware?
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... the sanctity of marriage gave up, moved to Reno and now works the 1am-6am shift at strip club under the name Sanctitty Mirage.
I am beyond hoffified
Bernard Profitendieu: I haven't ever read any of your posts before but I love your signature line. *muah*
Haha. The funny thing is, you probably picked out the nicest item in their store. I looked at the rest of the web site and couldn't find a single nice item. Horrendous dresses, horrendous trousers etc. All ridiculously overpriced.
Having said that, I agree with other posters that the dress on the cover of the magazine is very nice.
Submitted by MJF on Fri, 03/09/2012 - 6:22am.
And this, ladies & gentlemen, is why she can afford to "retire":
http://www.therow.com/shop/key-ring-1.html?color=White&size=OS
HOW, how, how are these two vagabonds considered style icons? Am I missing something? They NEVER look stylish. Most of the time they look like bag ladies. Their clothes always seem to swamp their tiny frames. They remind me of two little girls getting into their grandma's closet. I don't get their appeal AT ALL!
And this, ladies & gentlemen, is why she can afford to "retire":
http://www.therow.com/shop/key-ring-1.html?color=White&size=OS
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Submitted by KidL on Fri, 03/09/2012 - 1:27am.
@Salty-Yeah, there are a lot of people who are working in showbiz only because they are famous off-spring, but there are others who also had relatives in the biz and ARE talented: Jeff Bridges, Michael Douglas, and Maya Rudolph come
to mind.
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Michael Douglas and Jeff Bridges are the first great exceptions to the rule that came to my mind, too. I love them both.
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Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.
How come NO ONE mentions the fact that Ashley LIKES THE WAY HOLLYWEIRD OPERATES?
Definety caught same thought
Submitted by saltydog88 on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:00pm.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:25pm.
why is everybody here tripping over themselves to lavish praise on the younger sister?!? don't reward nepotism, you fools - unless you want more Gwyneth Paltows, more Kate Hudsons, more Stella McCartneys, more Bridget Fondas, more Gyllenhalls, more Tori Spellings, more Afflecks, more Jennifer Anistons, more Mamie Gummers, more Chris Pines more notalents taking jobs from the more deserving
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Because Elizabeth Olsen has actually studied acting for a long time. She worked with the Atlantic Theater Company and lived in Russia for a while to study acting, stage combat and accents
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@Salty-Yeah, there are a lot of people who are working in showbiz only because they are famous off-spring, but there are others who also had relatives in the biz and ARE talented: Jeff Bridges, Michael Douglas, and Maya Rudolph come to mind.
I agree with Bernard. I saw "Martha Marcy. . ." and was blown away by Elizabeth Olsen's performance.
I don't think you can automatically dismiss someone just because they happen to have famous relatives.
Jeff Bridges put it best: having relatives can and does open doors but to have an acclaimed and long-term career like his does take a degree of talent and work.
boston61 on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:57pm.
And the 1% GET EVERYTHING. F*cking EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
Why is that in your opinion?
"Abortion is the sacrament of Liberalism and the party of Death"
Submitted by saltydog88 on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:00pm.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:25pm.
why is everybody here tripping over themselves to lavish praise on the younger sister?!? don't reward nepotism, you fools - unless you want more Gwyneth Paltows, more Kate Hudsons, more Stella McCartneys, more Bridget Fondas, more Gyllenhalls, more Tori Spellings, more Afflecks, more Jennifer Anistons, more Mamie Gummers, more Chris Pines more notalents taking jobs from the more deserving
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Because Elizabeth Olsen has actually studied acting for a long time. She worked with the Atlantic Theater Company and lived in Russia for a while to study acting, stage combat and accents
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so basically, she did everything that any of the thousands and thousands and thousands of other theater students do, except she had her "big break" in her back pocket ready to call in whenever she needed it in the form of family contacts. That's called nepotism, fool, not talent and certainly not getting ahead on your own!
p.s. is Russia supposed to impress us? if she were actually studying in Russia, there wouldn't be accents because they would be performing in Russian ... or do you think they all walk around talking like Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale?!? get real.
Finally, she's only 23 -- that tells me she hasn't been doing anything "for a long time"
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
And the 1% GET EVERYTHING. F*cking EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
I hope Vogue had the smarts to print this cover on velvet.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:25pm.
why is everybody here tripping over themselves to lavish praise on the younger sister?!? don't reward nepotism, you fools - unless you want more Gwyneth Paltows, more Kate Hudsons, more Stella McCartneys, more Bridget Fondas, more Gyllenhalls, more Tori Spellings, more Afflecks, more Jennifer Anistons, more Mamie Gummers, more Chris Pines more notalents taking jobs from the more deserving
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Because Elizabeth Olsen has actually studied acting for a long time. She worked with the Atlantic Theater Company and lived in Russia for a while to study acting, stage combat and accents
I just can't mentally acknowledge them as adults. My brain sees small Michelle Tanner. I can't help it.
All I know is Ashley is the smarter one. Mary Kate is the party girl former anorexic.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Poster child for Feed the Children. Sick of that deer in the headlights, head bigger then body, bug eyed, non smiling look. Go crawl under a rock with the rest of the worms.
Love the dress. Hate the constant starved urchin face.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:25pm.
why is everybody here tripping over themselves to lavish praise on the younger sister?!? don't reward nepotism, you fools - unless you want more Gwyneth Paltows, more Kate Hudsons, more Stella McCartneys, more Bridget Fondas, more Gyllenhalls, more Tori Spellings, more Afflecks, more Jennifer Anistons, more Mamie Gummers, more Chris Pines more notalents taking jobs from the more deserving
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Oh, yes, you're totally right.
Strange that you forgot to add more Jolie-Voights. And the list goes on and on...
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Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.
yes, the Jolie-Voights, too! my fingers got tired of typing, the list is so painfully long!
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:37pm.
I love that Vegazled dress. But then again give me french nude lace, sequins, beeds and stones anyday and im yours.
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LOL, you're not the only one! haha
And I think Kanye should raise the price of his luxe footwear to $39,000 too! *snorts*
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
I thought retired at about 4 years old? That dress is gorgeous, isn't it?!
but its not like these bitches need the "acting" money anyway.
they are soo damn rich and all they ever did was play one half a fucking annoying shithead monkey (i love monkeys) face child.
and then they owned their billiod dollar empire and was fucking every hot piece of guy out there (which i would do too).
and then they put out a range of $39,000 handbags "Made in Italy, read the fine print: by imported chinese workers on 2 Euros a day"
which dumb fucks rushed to buy.
So who can blame them, Id fucking retire too if I sold $39,000 handbags to dumb fucks every day.
Is this supposed to be something other than us wasting the few shits we have left to give?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
HOLY SHIT
***smashes lap top***
That cover photo scared the fuck out of me! I don't wanna see that in the grocery story checkout line...
I love that Vegazled dress. But then again give me french nude lace, sequins, beeds and stones anyday and im yours.
That dress is gorgeous.
Sarah Smile
God, they are creepy looking. *shiver*
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
*yawn*
why is everybody here tripping over themselves to lavish praise on the younger sister?!? don't reward nepotism, you fools - unless you want more Gwyneth Paltows, more Kate Hudsons, more Stella McCartneys, more Bridget Fondas, more Gyllenhalls, more Tori Spellings, more Afflecks, more Jennifer Anistons, more Mamie Gummers, more Chris Pines more notalents taking jobs from the more deserving
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
They were always horrible at acting even when they were kids...so no loss there.
Well there's a shocker ... considering I havent seen her in anything in probably over 10 years or whenever Full House ended.
Why do people feel the need to tell everyone that they have hung up their acting cap when they havent even pursued it in years.. doesnt that normally imply that one has indeed given it up?
Havent heard about this one since Heath Ledger died. Why the fuck is she on a magazine cover? WHO CARES>
Submitted by squiggles on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 4:03pm.
I also hope she ends up happy and well-adjusted. Her sisters come across as being future Grey Gardens weirdos, and they always seem miserable as hell.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Okay, dress, getinmahcloset NOW!! Other than that, meh.
Who finally told her? Having a younger and more talented sibling in the acting line must have clarified things for her. At least she has her billions to fall back on.
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 3:54pm.
@ skabazzle - they plastic-surgeried their way out of their troll features. Both had nose jobs.
Doesn't surprise me - although I was thinking of when they were like twelve/thirteen. They looked like normal preteens at the time, without all the issues and before they got eating disorders.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
That pathetic, Sally Struthers commercial look she's always got on her face FUCKING IRKS.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
We hope Trashy. You never know, one might have lots of money but still be unhappy. I have the idea these two really enjoy their work but I could be wrong ;)
Ba-buttons, SO GROSS! I can't believe you got such a good WHIFF and lived to tell about it! Good Lawd! LMAO!
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Thought she retired years ago.
That dress is gorgeous!
I like her/ them. Always have. They just seem to be harmless and definitely seem to know what it is that they want to do. And I also really like some of their pieces from both of their collections/ brands. Those shirts from The Row fit amazingly well and seem to go with almost anything. And are very well done.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Wasn't Ashley the one who was in a relationship with Justin Bartha for a long while?
Anyway, she always seemed to me the most "normal" and sane of the two.
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Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 4:50pm.
Don't think either of them is suited for acting but boy do they have business sense! Least they have something to fall back on! Other than that, thanks for letting the world know Ash maybe your sis will follow in your footsteps! ;D
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They have "something to fall back on?" They are are worth billions and this chick hasn't acted since 2004, about the time her heroin addict sister went to rehab.
Yeah. It's kind of obvious that they'll always be ok financially.
This Elle cover is all kinds of wrong. She looks rigid, unhappy, and like Hannibal Lector is taking the photograph.
Don't think either of them is suited for acting but boy do they have business sense! Least they have something to fall back on! Other than that, thanks for letting the world know Ash maybe your sis will follow in your footsteps! ;D
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
I gotta hand it to her, she let her acting career die gracefully and quietly, instead of digging herself a giant grave like Lindsay Lohan. She is the more stable twin after all. If only other celebs lead by her example.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
your link scared me Irish Fury,
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edith_Bouvier_Beale
Looking at those $39,000 backpacks, I am convinced that the trollsons are actually high end drug dealers that line ugly ass bags with designer coke and peddle them in broad day light. There really is no other explanation for anyone buying that bullshit, let alone it selling out. Even rich, spoiled and entitled people aren't that dumb.
@ Lucifer Sam - I think they both had their noses done, but one was much more subtle. Then again, I could be wrong, lol:
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/2004/05/14/oh-look-twin-nose-jobs/
Clearly the only Olsen that needs to be concerned about acting is Elizabeth.
Their younger sister Elizabeth, the one who seems to be growing into a legitimate actress, gives off the impression that she's older than these two. The twins look like they are still stuck in their teenage lemme-look-like-edgy (like a bum) look. While Elizabeth won't ever be as rich, I hope she ends the most respected, well-liked one.