JLo Doesn't Know How To Pick A Man
In the current issue of Vogue, JLo's manager Benny Medina basically says in so many words that she's as good at picking a man as she is at singing live without making people diarrhea from their ears. Benny says that JLo basically suffers from JenniferLoveHewitt-itis, because the bitch always needs a man and if you're desperate, needy and obsessively slobbering on her roasted pork ass cheeks, she'll put you on payroll as her full-time piece. Benny gave this sermon of truthiness to Vogue (via People) when talking about JLo's relationship :
"The thing that I always sort of wished is that she would give herself time to just naturally meet someone, instead of having obsessive guys pursue her. The ease which that obsession becomes a relationship I think sometimes works against her ability to have a real meaningful relationship."
Benny then talked about JLo's relationship with that Montessori Nursery School Dance Troupe member who looks like one of Scrooge McDuck's nephews:
"We talked about it and she was like, 'It's not even the age, Benny. It's actually that I just came out of a relationship where I felt like I was kind of not getting what I needed. And I'm open! [I'm looking for] somebody who steps in right now and is actually touching me in a [meaningful] way."
Touch her in a meaningful way? Sick. I really don't need to know that JLo is looking for a man who will make her asshole hairs stand up by stroking her overinflated ego spot while telling her that she's the most beautiful, talented and smartest woman in the world.
In the Game of Life (the board game, not the other one), I pulled the doctor card once so I know what I'm talking about. JLo is only with Casper, because she can easily control his ass and when he annoys her by drooling too much, she can tell the nanny to take him to his nursery. But that kind of relationship isn't going to fulfill JLo. What JLo loves most in this world is JLo. So that's why the perfect man for her is her male stunt double. JLo's male stunt double has the best of both worlds: he almost looks like her in the face (he's prettier) and he has a dick. JLo would get to suck her own dick! It's a match made in JLo's ego.
Here's JLo wearing a whole lot of sequined NO while leaving a restaurant in L.A. with Casper last night.
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This is the manager basically calling out the boyfriend as a gold digger.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
He's a toad and she? Well, she's "special". I cannot help but loathe her and her duplicitous ass.
in my (ignorant) assessment of Jlo's relationship woes I go for one thing above the rest ..believing her hype too much... one man is JUST not good enough for her... what such women don't realise is time waits for no woman... it won't be this easy to snag up a hot piece.. at some point even any piece!
*tick tock*
Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!
i love it! look how young and happy she looks! that's gonna' be good for her for a while... until she goes back to needing a real-substantial-man again (ex hubs can step in for a while) and then something more "ego" stroking after that again who let's her be in the spotlight. #TheSinCosinOfLife #ItsCalculus
fame... it's a bitch but it's better than the frippery called normal.
he is still getting dick on the side, just wait til some trick sells him out
Looks like he is using her for money/fame and she is using him to keep herself young and in the spotlight?
This duck is a golddigger. Can't stand his smug face.
She desperately wanted babies and now that she has them you never see them. Which means she'll eventually tire of this little baby.
Submitted by jackie on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 12:37pm.
I think Medina is 100% correct but as long as she doesn't marry him she should be ok.
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I don't know about that.
American Idol was the best thing that could have happened to JLo. There were plenty of rumors that she and Mark A were broke or at least cash-poor, and there were even public records of the tax liens filed against Mark A. They weren't making any money on their music or movies. There was the Howard Stern story that JLo took the AI job strictly for the money. JLo would not have all these high-profile product endorsements for the hair shit, cars, and Kohl's if it wasn't for her presence on AI. And honestly, I can't see AI lasting longer than another couple of seasons.
Anyone who has earned $100 million before age 40 and yet is having money issues obviously has a spending problem. She's allegedly paying this Caspar dude $10 thousand a week, plus buying him expensive gifts, taking him on vacations, etc. JFC, where's her accountant to warn her ass about gift taxes? Is JLo setting aside ANY money for retirement?
Submitted by K2 on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 12:13pm.
More like 15 than 20. She's needy and desperate, and keeping her young rebound fuck as a "relationship" instead of a fling proves she's gonna board the Demi Moore/Vadge train.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
This isn't a man. It's a fetus and an ugly fetus at that.
The end.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 11:16am.
At least get your Latin foods straight. She's puerto rican, so it's not tacos and burritos. Duh. Don't associate her with our foods, tyvm. Signed, the worlds' mexifolk.
*munches on taco de lengua*
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Oh but this made me chuckle LaChaylo! :O TACO DE LENGUA!? A friend of mine once showed me some cesos and tripas para tacos stuff in her freezer, I almost passed out at the thought! HAHAHA ;P
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"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫
░ESCANDALONESS!░
<"Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 11:16am.
At least get your Latin foods straight. She's puerto rican, so it's not tacos and burritos. Duh. Don't associate her with our foods, tyvm. Signed, the worlds' mexifolk.">
Haha better take THAT up with Trey Parker and Matt Stone. You better believe if I came within 100 yards of
her I'd be singing "taco taco burrito burrito taco taco"
It's the refrain!
I like J.Lo, but has she ever been single? Doesn't look like she has the ability. Says a lot about who she is. 42 years old and probably doesn't know herself very well.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
I don't have a problem with her being with a much younger man...she's hot she can handle it..but he's not hot at all! If you're going to be a cougar at least get a better looking cub!
my god he so does look like Huey, Dewey and Louie XD
Michael, you are so ON today! Second post in a row I'm sending to my bf cuz it's laugh-out-loud hilarious. Seriously, why don't you have a book deal yet?
Did you see "The Perfect Storm," Goat?
This guy is so annoying. Her dress is a fug mess, and her manager has no business running his mouth about his client's private love live (wtf?).
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
Gah! Look at his face, he thinks he's the shit!
I think Medina is 100% correct but as long as she doesn't marry him she should be ok.
All I know is, evenutally she is going to realize what a dork he is and be sooooo humiliated with herself!
J.Lo to Diddy: "I need to be a music star!"
Diddy to J.Lo: "I need a beard!"
Voila!
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So what you're saying is, he's her new purse? She always has to carry him around to feel secure.
Why is it, I find it especially depressing that someone with all her money and relative good looks is this desperate?
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I have never loved life so much.
jlo is one of those chicks that needs a man to feel validated...although technically casper is more of young duck than a man...
on the other hand, jlo looks great and i applaud her attempt at getting the young stuff...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
his cock must be like a fishing hook, because he has snagged her and aint letting go.
but who could blame her.
riding on caspers virile dick must be heaven compared to years of fucking the corpse mummy dick marc anthony owns.
I feel sorry for her. She must be painfully insecure or lack self esteem (despite her millions and fame) to hop in and out of relationships the way she does. I give her kudos for sticking it out with Marc but that probably had more to do with wanting kids.
Give it 20 yrs ..she'll be sizing up her daughter's boyfriends.
JLo is needy? I could have told you that back when she was with Diddy.
when you have a neck tattoo, you dont have to say anything , because a neck tattoo says everything for you !!
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
Thats a fugly dress - is it from her busted Kohls collection?
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
where does she find these guys? casper the friggin friendly ghost? that ain't even his real name. who the heck changes their name to casper? if i recall correcly the word Kasper in German is something like a jester or circus performer. anyhow, i think i have a real problem with his damn name. jmo
JLo is not the only one.
My best friend who is 46 is in the same boat. She is married to a young guy, 29 and no one can tell her the guy is a moocher, useless piece-of-shit. He must be one hell of a lover because he doesn't work and she seems ok with that! She sponsored his trip from DR and all he does all day is listen to music on youtube while she works all day as a substitute teacher.
Man..I'd rather get myself a good vibrator and keep my paycheck.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Her Kohl`s commercial is the biggest fucking joke, she looks a good 20 years too old for every single outfit she is wearing. Someone is hanging on to Youth for dear life.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
She IS Demi stupid...at least Douche Jesus is better looking than this duckling!
It must be something with the name Jennifer. JLo, JLove, JenAn.
http://www.billboard.biz/bbbiz/industry/branding/jennifer-lopez-reclaims...
Clutch your pearls, George Clooney was arrested.
http://todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/16/10718149-...
Well, fuck, I thought it was for soliciting a tranny hooker. Just a political protest. *shakes fist at monitor*
anyone with a neck tattoo is a douche.
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You better speak up now, if you want your piece
You better speak up now, it won't mean a thing later
Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper
I thought that was Chris Daughtry for a hot ass second.
Whatever, she's looking good here. All golden and glittery.
When I get my shot on American Idol I want to sing something that I think she can relate to like...
http://www.hark.com/clips/yssqdvpcrn-wookin-pa-nub
Eh, I don't mind her. I think it's kind of funny that she judges a singing competition since she was never much of a singer or a really big pop star, she was just kind of famous for being J.Lo and dating Ben Affleck and Diddy.
I love Selena though, I have to watch it every time it comes on TV.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
It would be ok if she was just using him for a fuck-piece, but she is totally making this loser her bonafide. Have you seen how she looks at him? Like he's her savior, the love of her life?
No, she is just a sad, pathetic, insecure woman who can't be alone for a week.
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You better speak up now, if you want your piece
You better speak up now, it won't mean a thing later
Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper
I think some of you are hating cause MK is slow at posting today LOL. She's ok Im just sick of her it's hiatus time girlfriend. Oh and never sing again!!!!!!!!!!
I have one thing to say...You Bettah Work.
Yeah she's desperate but couldn't she pick a better looking toddler?
Well, she knew how to pick men who would help her career. Maybe she doesn't know how to pick a man for an equal loving relationship. That seems like Karma for being a user to me.
P.S. She doesn't know how to pick out clothes either!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Wow- so much JLo hate. I think she's gorgeous and I think she works really hard when she's really going for it. And despite all the diva stuff you hear... I've never ever seen an interview with her where I didn't walk away thinking, 'wow- she just seems really nice and genuine.'
But her issues with men are just not cool. Jesus- she has enough money for some decent therapy to at least address some of that shit. And at this point- I really think she needs to have her marriage card revoked, if only to protect herself.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 11:00am.
she walks around with almost Demi Moore-ish desperation. What grown woman ties an assclown like that to her leg?
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LMAO! UBF you kill me:)
Ya you'd think with her Alist status she'd be pullin someone that's even remotely close to her stature. This guy should be her late night hidden fuck piece at best, a dirty little secret not someone you parade around. Can you imagine what her friends say behind her back, they must be laughing their asses off and shaking their heads.
These relationships keep her brand young and keep her in the spotlight. She uses the publicity for her commercial success. Shill that perfum/clothing/lifestyle, keep the money coming in. When this tactic gets stale she'll adopt a child from the third world. You know she wants that Louis Vuitton Latina photo shoot.
I just hate this fucking lying low class no talent bitch. Why won't she just slither away, back to the Hunts Pointe HO Stroll?
She Stinks!
At least get your Latin foods straight. She's puerto rican, so it's not tacos and burritos. Duh. Don't associate her with our foods, tyvm. Signed, the worlds' mexifolk.
*munches on taco de lengua*