Why Can't We All Have A Stepford Katie To Carry Us Around Everywhere We Go?
After spending your late night drunkenly twisting in front of a webcam while trying to recreate that Zoo Bee Zoo Bebe Zahara Benet shit from Mad Men, your legs are probably as sore as a twisted nipple. If you're the Empress of Scientology, Suri Cruise, all you had to do was use your telekinetic powers to ring the Baccarat crystal bell next to your princess bed and Stepford Katie would immediately gallop to whisk you off to wherever you want to go.
Suri has a mother whose soul has been replaced with Talking Tina parts and a father who makes bat shit look sane, but besides that she really does have it all. Suri has her own golden geese farm, a closet full of custom-made diamond dust flats and she never EVER has to touch the sidewalk for the rest of her life. You'd think that Katie would have Madge-like biceps by now, because when she's not carrying Suri around, she carries Tommy Girl around whenever he can't walk due to a sprained prostate.
Here's more of human chariot Stepford Katie carrying 5-year-old Suri to their apartment in NYC last night. This is like Footprints in the Sand as rewritten by Veruca Salt.
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ugly kid
An earlier commenter posed the question of whether or not Katie was carrying Tom around in drag. After I got done LOLing, I really pondered the validity of that question.
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she's starring to look more and more like Mayim Bialik (Blossom) ... and we all know that's not a good thing!
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
suri looks like tommy cruise in drag. (the one in the middle)
http://www.piratenews.org/scientology-tom-cruise-transvestite-wizard-oz....
enough said.
googled images of this William Mapother person...and uh, yeah, strong resemblance!
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 11:17am.
Suri looks like her uncle William Mapother (daddy's half brother) in that photo.
(I so agree with you...)
Well Track a Ghost Through The Fog,Baby... Oh you try hard but you'll never catch me... Yeah Yeah
That looks like Tom in a wig...I bet it is!
She looks like the cousin William more than she does Tommy Gurl! IMO. Google his IMDB page.
I would still find satisfaction Slapping the shit outta her smug, entitled lil ass.
Damn, I'm an asshole. Actually, I would derive more pleasure from denying her her wants and desires. I would wait her lil ass out and watch her imploded.
I really think that's tom in his nightie that katie is carrying around. If that really is suri, she's about to be bigger than tom in ...3..2..1
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 8:20pm.
1) I wonder if Connor and Isabella resent the hell out of Suri, Sunday and Faith?
3) Did the Scientology contract forbid Kidman from seeing her kids? How do you raise them and then just turn your back on them? Will Katiebot share the same fate if she has a malfunction?
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1) Maybe Suri but I kinda doubt Sunday and Faith. From what I have read, Nicole wanted them to come live w/ her / see each other more often but they had little interest (or were pressured by TC not to).
3) If they did not explicitly threaten her to stay away from TC and the kids, I bet they strongly pressured her. Maybe she knew too much and maybe she decided it wasn't worth a fight, especially if he'd already turned the kids against her?
Who knows but I find it hard to believe she would just cut those other kids loose. Their father is probably the 2nd most powerful person in Scientology so I'm willing to be it's on him.
Ugly little girl with a soon to be big nose and atrophied legs.
I love Suri and her bratty ass bratiness. You go girl, make that robot work for you!
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Why the fuck is this kid carted around? She is way too old, she should be walking. These people are all nuts.
Oh dear. That poor child is deep in fug.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 2:20pm.
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but God help you if you fuck with the schedule! Fairy eats, naps and goes to bed at the same time every day. Schedules make children feel secure and safe.
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100% agreed. i don't have kids but have enough younger cousins, etc, to know this is absolutely true. mess with the schedule and the kid is cranky and a hot mess.
for now, i feel bad for suri. she's still too young to be held responsible for her behaviour, esp when her parents keep using her as a prop. this kid never had a chance at a "normal" life what with all the late night dinners, $ciencrap, and paps around. doesn't seem like she's ever around other kids, either.. it's all really sad, actually.
WHY is Tom never there? That must be why Katie's always smiling.
Something isn't right with that kid. She looks a bit "omen-ish" And put her ass down already! ARGH! What is wrong with these people!
Okay people.
i swear suri looks like tommy girl in drag.
just look at the pic of tommy girl in drag for wizard of oz, he is the one in the middle, playing dorothy.
http://www.piratenews.org/scientology-tom-cruise-transvestite-wizard-oz....
I have so many questions about the Cruise-Holmes-Kidman clan:
1) I wonder if Connor and Isabella resent the hell out of Suri, Sunday and Faith?
2) Mimi Rogers implied that Tom's soldiers didn't march. I kind of believed it because Tom didn't have any biological children with Kidman who ended up getting knocked up by Ewan McGregor and having a child with Urban.
3) Did the Scientology contract forbid Kidman from seeing her kids? How do you raise them and then just turn your back on them? Will Katiebot share the same fate if she has a malfunction?
4) Now that Suri is getting so big, is Katiebot going to end up making another trip to the sperm bank?
5) Who's going to write "Tommy Dearest"? Isabella or Suri?
Their lives would make a great telenovela.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
This is the most I've ever seen Suri look like Tom Cruise. Good grief. It's like he cloned himself and they inserted a female chromosome.
Scary.
It warms my heart that Suri has Katie's original nose. The rest of her is all Mapother---William Mapother.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
This is very disturbing.
Well, that's sad. She looks just like Dad now. She was kind of cute but homely before. Now? Not good.
Why must Katiebot pull that stupid smirk!
Something in the milk ain't right with this child.
Little, bitty Suri has become a huge, ugly girl-child. Has all the worst features of those two. Oh well, she's a multi-millionaire.
Tom Cruise actually has pretty eyes, but this poor bitch got Katie's eyes and Tom's rest-of-face.
That is just goddamned ridiculous.
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
the fact that she's spoiled may have something to do with her not growing into a pretty child. being miserable, spoiled and mean have a way of reek havoc on your looks as you get older.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Are we sure Katie isn't just carrying Tommy Girl in drag?
@ applecider - THANK YOU.
that pap situation is asinine, and should sincerely be illegal, no matter if they are famous or not.
with todays cameras, they could easily stand 50 feet away and still get close-ups of cavities, for gods sake.
no reason to be in the face like that. its scary, and the flashes must hurt.
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
Trim her her HAIR it is stringy looking!!!!!!!!!
Wow... Suri's cute days are numbered. She looks like she might get seriously awkward looking for awhile until nature smiles back on her or she gets her first nose job and turns into an absurdly pretty teen.
Katie's Holmes is only 5'8" tops. Other sources say 5'9", but that's a real stretch (pun intended). By admitting that she's only 5'8", they're emphasizing how short Tommy Girl really is. Suri will probably reach her adult height early, then late bloomers will go on to outgrow her.
After reading some of the comments, I can't ever recall seeing this child in a stroller, unless my memory is failing me. Obviously she can't keep up with the adults, but why haven't they used a stroller?
That child now has Tom Cruise's face, poor thing.
I cannot WAIT until she is a teenager. She will be 100% out of control. I hope she crashes and burns and writes a Mommie-and-Tommiegirl-Dearest book and tells EVERYTHING!!!
At first glance I thought for sure that was tom being carried during a scientology ritual.
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No one wants a mustache ride?
Oh Suri
I love kids, but you can tell this one is nothing but whining, crying, temper tantrum trouble.
Be careful what you wish for, Katie.
They have created their own monster
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
Suri looks like Josh Hartnett's kid here. He was one of the rumored dad's-to-be when Katie got pregnant, and Suri looks older than her reported age. But I feel bad for her, this doesn't look like a fun childhood. Also, I think Katie goes under the media radar for months and then alerts the paps herself. I think she must get bored or does it to document her solo parenting in case of future custody issues. I wondered this when Ben Affleck was cheating on Jen with Blake Lively, and we saw lots of photos of Jen and the girls doing family activities (without dad), soccer, library etc, almost daily. It seemed a negotiating tactic to publicly remind dad and the public what a good parent mom was. I envy Katie, the money, the travel, and then I don't for all the other stuff.
Submitted by Classof1997 on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 2:13pm.
This is the only pic of Suri I have ever seen that makes me believe she really is Tom Cruise's biological child. She looks like him here.
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totally agree. the pictures where she's being held, i see tom, especially in the eyes.
I don't have kids but if I did and they were upset I would probably pick them up IF I could. I'm a short arse so Suri would probably nearly be as tall as me lol. Katie is aroung 6ft I think, so she has some height on her side. It would be more of a strength for me. I'd still sit them on my knee but I doubt I could lift them at that age. I would probably be a 'wrap them in cotton wool' type of mother and make too much of a fuss if they were upset. Not sure if that is good or not.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 03/26/2012 -1:28pm.
Margo: You're 100% right.
They probably expect Suri to have the stamina for trotting around town, doing all their adultshit. And while you should expect children to have good behavior, you CAN'T expect it when they'rehungry or thirsty or tired because you're not respecting their schedules. (Although Suri probably doesn't HAVE a schedule).
I believe that young children should have a schedule and you have to work around it. If you don't want to structure your life around your kids, don't have any. I hate seeing people drag little kids out to a restaurant at 9:00 when they're tired and whiny or hyper. That's not fair to anyone.
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All of this. I'm pretty chill about parenting...but God help you if you fuck with the schedule! Fairy eats, naps and goes to bed at the same time every day. Schedules make children feel secure and safe.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Suri wants down and will whoop her Momma for embarassing her in public.; LOL
Suri did grow up ugly huh?, she doesn't look like either parents! ;>
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 12:48pm.
They say giving a child too much leeway can also lead to personality disorders.
I have an evil sister-in-law whose father overly doted on her. She is now the poster child for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 12:35pm.
*hopes to get a wedding invitation from IF & Whamo*
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LOL!! are you kidding Mickey, absolutely!:)
This is the only pic of Suri I have ever seen that makes me believe she really is Tom Cruise's biological child. She looks like him here.
This reminds me of the time I was driving and then stopped at a red light, I looked at the car next to me and where was this big ass girl, with blonde ringlets, in a carseat..TEXTING! Her head was hitting the roof of the car FFS.
Suri used to be pretty cute....she's six kinds of fug in these pictures. Can't even imagine what she'll look like as a gangly pre-teen. Bag it!!!
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Deb:
I could agree to that to a point, but I believe the higher-up, more profile couples have contracts aside from the prenuptial agreements. Not only do they have to produce children, but they cannot speak on anything should they disband. Why do you think Nicole Kidman changed her stance on speaking about her kids when she left him? before, she always mentioned her children in interviews. Now she only mentions the ones she has with Urban. Everyone knows she bearded for her fame (and that Oscar).
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