Wednesday, March 28th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By A Tree Humper
Don't you hate it when you wake up the morning after and the only thing you have to remember about your fuck piece from the night before is a splinter in your ass, bark burns on your stomach, its sticky love syrup on your fingers and a bite from a palm weevil on your tongue? Don't you wish you can relive all those beautiful, tree-fucking moments all over again? Well, now you can thanks to the dude who recorded you barking up the RIGHT tree while high on the wrong shit at the Ultra Music Festival. Girl, you better have rubbed your coochie in some Herbicide afterward, because the last thing you need is to pop out a sapling in nine months.
via Gawker
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why does she keep shushing that poor tree? what is it telling her??
and why does this make me so sad and ashamed to be a woman...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Ok, so if she's soooo trippin that she's having a relationship with a tree, how is it that she had control when she put her flip-flop back on?
Like others have stated, when you're out there, that flip-flop tends to get away from your annoying, smelly feet. FAKE, FAKE, FAKE!
Submitted by jelliebean on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 1:58am.
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yes, the dad seems to be phoning it in from Mars. nevermind that he hasn't ever even said, "a young kid lost his life and i'm sorry about that." makes you wonder about his record as a judge.
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
If this girl had any real friends, they'd have pulled her out of there and taken her home to sleep it off.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
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Spring break wasn't what it used to be, pre-YouTube. Damn people taping everything, everywhere.
When I zipped into Walmart (*head down*), for the first time in 5+ years, ALL I could think of was PeopleOfWalmart.com cameras EVERYWHERE, recording everything for ridicule.
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Horrible insomnia, just tossing this into the thread because it always makes me smile:
http://youtu.be/rN0y8f2rftc
Will try to get 3 hours or so of sleep before I have to get up and get ready for work.
Hugs all!
ETA - when I went to brush my teeth one more time before bed, the toothpaste slipped right out of my hand and nose-dived into the toilet. FML.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
Sorry for all the double posts, but thanks for the info on Zimmerman, his dad is giving interviews and sounds like he is in complete denial. I think his son had a history of mental instability and paranoia and violence.
On the plus side, she doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant by some poor sap. Sorry! But it is late and I'm tired.
(edit: apparently this is verified info already)
"THIS JUST IN: Now we know why George Zimmerman didnt get arrested....No Words.......According to court records George Zimmerman is the son of retired Supreme Court Magistrate Judge Robert J Zimmerman, his mother Gladys Zimmerman is a court clerk....He has three closed arrests 7/18/05 for resisting arrest with violence and battery on a law enforcement officer div 10........8/9/05 for domestic violence div 44..... And again on 8/10/05 domestic violence div 46 *** Throws hands up and drops the mic*** RE-POST!!!!!!"
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
I found another version of this video where her friends drag her off at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOzFZ9L_rug&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 7:34pm.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:17pm.
Music festivals are where you go to cut loose and do drugs and forget your shitty, mundane life. I hate that everything ends up on YouTube now.
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That's really been grinding my gears lately, I can't let loose without worrying about someone recording me.
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"Dance like nobody's watching." Except somebody might be filming. And then putting it on YouTube where thousands of people make fun of you before you even realize you've become a public mockery.
People aren't allowed to have fun or stand out anymore.
Example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA8z7f7a2Pk
This guy ended up becoming a hero. After dozens of people filmed him for a long time while laughing at him.
This one ho is a " three humper "
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Florida/Seminole-County-FL/Christine-Swa...
" Money is not everything, but it might be everything you need "
I had a friend who used to masturbate with trees all the time, or so she said. But she did it in private, out in the Redwoods. And I doubt she slapped and scolded.
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
OK - just watching One Tree Hill (can't change the channel because it conflicts with a reality show the DH watches) and Austin Nichols' (Julian's) lisp is getting to me SO bad. I still think he and Jakey had relations.
ETA: Whoever the bar guy is also has the case of the saggy "s's"
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Oh the humiliation after someone showed her that and she probably didn't even recollect it. I'm sure the tree's bark was worse than its bite. PITA er "PETA" would probably hire her stupid ass to hump a tree, "Save the sheep and hump a tree!" Didn't PETA do some stupid thing with women acting all horny with vegetables and fruits?
Dear, PETA, this is a REAL animal rescue!
Can't watch that video a third time or I'll start the waterworks all over again.
I'm so glad that Youtube wasn't around when I was tripping my ass off. There's too many damn cameras now.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:17pm.
Music festivals are where you go to cut loose and do drugs and forget your shitty, mundane life. I hate that everything ends up on YouTube now.
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That's really been grinding my gears lately, I can't let loose without worrying about someone recording me.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
I missed the Birthday Sluts thread, so Happy Birthday, MJT! Have fun tonight.
Submitted by ursulahotname on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:46pm.
Anyone ever see the photo of the naked woman masturbating with a slice of pizza at Edinburgh Fringe Festival? I think it was in Vice Magazine. She was doing this beneath a small stage with a band playing, until the band got fed up and dumped a bunch of trash on her, and she started masturbating with the trash. I actually really felt sorry for this woman having her photo like this in a magazine and no one doing anything about it.
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Yikes...that's awful. Poor lass.
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
That was disturbing. Imagine if she got a splinter in her hoo-hah. She'd be doing a different dance and it would NOT be sessy.
Happy b-day MJT!
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Stoney!
http://youtu.be/tZmDWltBziM
DRUNKS!
Didnt Snooki dance with a tree at a restaurant? Lol
**My mind may refuse to believe**
Hekki - OB now works from home during the hours I am in the office and comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays after I leave at 2pm. As peaceful as it is here in the office now with our only bookkeeper (person in A/P and A/R) not here, it's very incovenient too. No one else has access to the books, and she's taken all the invoices home with her so we can pull one for a customer when they call to ask about it. *shrugs*
It is what it is. I had my sit down with the Workers Comp investigator last week, he's supposed to meet with her this week.
So, I'm just plugging along making sure MY work is done. No clue what's going to be the "long term" arrangement.
i have done some pretty stupid shit on acid so this does not surprise me.
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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
Being drunk won't make you do that. Candyflipping will.
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"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man
You just have to take A LOT of whatever she's on (probably ecstacy).
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Lisa Rose, no. You have to be a bit mentally deranged, AND drunk to do that. If you're that drunk, you're usually passed out/comatose.
I've never been drunk or high on drugs in my life so... can someone really be THAT out of it??
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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I am laughing so fucking hard at the flip flop guy video! Y'all are gonna have to help me off the floor, for reals. Hahahahahaha!!!! I fucking love that guy!!!
*pees a little*
I need some more drunk videos, stat.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
M.E.: if it's okay to ask, is everything okay at work with OB?
Not convinced chick is drunk, and whipping those panties half out of the shorts, C-L-A-S-S-A-Y lollol.
Love how all her "friends" are just standing there. Ckufers! hahahah
"palm weevil"??
♥---♥---♥
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Submitted by ursulahotname on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:46pm.
Anyone ever see the photo of the naked woman masturbating with a slice of pizza at Edinburgh Fringe Festival? I think it was in Vice Magazine. She was doing this beneath a small stage with a band playing, until the band got fed up and dumped a bunch of trash on her, and she started masturbating with the trash. I actually really felt sorry for this woman having her photo like this in a magazine and no one doing anything about it.
sounds like a Darwin Awards nominee.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
I was watching 30 Rock online the other day and did anyone catch when Liz Lemon called Avery's mom a HOT SLUT to Jack?
I love when Tina injects some MK-ism's in the show.
I'm calling fake on this.
MJT! Happy Happy Girl!!!
PSL.....I am jealous. There I said it. Jelaous!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:42pm.
I dont understand why you would want to do drugs that makes you hallucinate.
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It's the sick and twisted in me... I used to love it. I did it in school which was even a bigger trip because you are seeing shit AND trying to be cool about it so you don't get caught... LOL, demented. Of course, I haven't done acid in YEARS.
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Wow, great Molly Shannon impression from "Superstar." Member when she made out with the tree?
Now go kill yourself for this fuckery.
Anyone ever see the photo of the naked woman masturbating with a slice of pizza at Edinburgh Fringe Festival? I think it was in Vice Magazine. She was doing this beneath a small stage with a band playing, until the band got fed up and dumped a bunch of trash on her, and she started masturbating with the trash. I actually really felt sorry for this woman having her photo like this in a magazine and no one doing anything about it.
kinda makes you wonder how much of a relationship is in your own head....
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
I know sometimes it isn't intentional...but I dont understand why you would want to do drugs that makes you hallucinate. that sounds AWFUL.
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#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
Thanks PSL, ME and Ditquoi ;)
PSL - I am JEALOUS. I love Uvy and her kids are so adorable!
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#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
No, I LOAF YOU, SANS FARDS!
One time I got roofied and did a bunch of crazy shit I don't remember (none of it sexy). I call BS on this tho. And that guy didn't even keep the camera one her.
Thanks SweetASS and Snowy :)
Jack - I know. I just had to take an aleve and drink some starbucks to keep from nodding off! The real drinking starts in a few hours.
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#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
Happy birthday MJT!
Submitted by shandi on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 4:37pm.
Can I add 6 more?: Attention Whore who should say No to Drugs.
Two words: Attention Whore
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I don't get it.
Except that clip wants to tell me this was such a boring-ass boring festival that a girl funnin with a tree became the instant highlight.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
I hope the tree used some sort of protection....this trick may come back in a few months full of tree sap and suing for child support.... I'm serious..
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Friend of Cher much? Betcha she feeds chewed up tree bark to her baby *bird* Coyote Plaid.
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Being sexy and pretty is hardly the only kind of power. It may be the most visible option presented, but it's a copout and temporary. ~Hekki the Wuzzle
Bull-fucking-shit! That little attention-whore knew exactly what she' was doing. She continually looks at the camera as if saying "are you getting this? Look at how sexy I am!". Fucking hate this crap.
Happy Birthday Table Dancer!