Hot Slut Of The Day!
Johanna Quaas, the 86-year-old gymnast who slayed most of us younger hos with her floor routine at the 2012 Cottbus World Cup in Germany this week. Madge isn't the only limber granny who can slip into a leotard to throw her crotch up in the air, Johanna can do that to and how. The only thing I know about Johanna is that she's 86, has been doing gymnastics since her 20s, was a member of the East German handball champion team and do this better than any of us:
And this!:
As the 12th best student (out of 11 total students, I don't know how that happened either) in my junior gymnastics class at SCATS ("Too easy." - you), I give this tumbling memaw the Werther's Original medal in YES!!! Johanna can flip, stretch and kick around like her bones are made of Slinkies while my hip bone pops out of its socket when I just think about doing a cartwheel.
When I'm 86, I hope to be at least 1/20th as limber as Johanna is, but not because I want to be a geriatric gymnast or some shit. I want to be as limber so that I can easily whip neighborhood brats with a switch when they interrupt my drinking on the porch time.
via Neatorama
• 
THIS is the kind of shit I want to see.
You go, granny!
*______________________________________*
It's scary that there are two dorks in this world with artichoke choke fur on their heads. - Dog on the subject of Jedward, Tue, 03/20/2012 - 9:05pm.
She's so cool!
Universe, please allow me to stay limber and mobile: this woman is incredible. Go girl!
I'm saying those legs owe a lot to genetics. My maternal grandma is 70 and relatively inactive but still has amazing legs that all the old men check out. I, however, was lucky enough to get the genetics for my legs from the paternal side of my family; stumpy, squat britbrit legs fraaaaaak me.
........::::::00000000::::::.........
"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Enid
Submitted by Bossy on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:12pm.
Realistically, she's not at competition level...or at the very least her routines aren't.
********
It's worth noting that memaw learned gymnastics so long ago, it was a VERY different sport. So she's pretty much performing at the level they did back then, which is incredible when you think about it.
Hot Damn!
I think that's just Spike Jonez doing a Jackass sketch :) Kidding - go Nana.
Submitted by Bossy on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:12pm.
{Realistically, she's not at competition level...or at the very least her routines aren't. However, she is clearly one fit lady! And how is it that her legs look a completely different age than the rest of her (hair, hands, face)?! WTF.}
In 100% agreement with you on your assessment, but, I think people were rooting for her because she didn't break a hip and, yes, her legs are unfreakingbelievably HOT for ANY age. Think about Melanie Griffith's legs for instance and she's not near this woman's age? NIGHTMARE! Luck of genetics or luck of keeping active? I'm going the latter point.
Realistically, she's not at competition level...or at the very least her routines aren't. However, she is clearly one fit lady! And how is it that her legs look a completely different age than the rest of her (hair, hands, face)?! WTF.
Wow! She's fallen and she CAN get up!
In one thought these vids made me think oh good there's still hope for my old ass and on the other thought doesn't it suck that being fit at 86 makes the news and the rest of us just sit here fucking depressed thinking our lives are already over anyway, what's the point of trying.
Fuck I've got to get out of the deep south. My body is gone and as you can read I'm losing my spirit as well.
Submitted by Dr. Ruth on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 4:03pm.
You are correct, oh little pervy one... I have only been with one TRUE blond (carpet matched the curtains) and let me tell you... I was HOOKED! Still looking for for another one LOL
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:55pm.
That's what's up! ♥ ♥
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:55pm.
{That's ok!!! you had me at 32Cs... :) and brunettes aren't boring...}
I'm sure 95% of the 'blondes' you date are 'other than blonde' anyway, Jack. ;)
Team get off yer duff and shape-up!
Granny makes me feel like a sloth.
Dammit Memaws ARE the one!! I am so mad at you dlisted for making me watch this, ruin my lazy day and making me get off my ass to go do something productive. Damn you dancing memaws!!!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:53pm.
That's ok!!! you had me at 32Cs... :) and brunettes aren't boring...
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:13pm.
26 with 32C's... are you blond per chance? *grabs lotion*
Hahaha, Jack, I wish I could make that lotion worth your while but unfortunately I'm a boring brunette. D:
I'm in love.
****************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
wow this totally makes me feel like a lazy piece of shit. must hit the gym tonight.
---------------------------------------
"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
WOWWWW!!! I can't believe it! My boyfriend competed at this meet!!!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:11pm.
26 with 32C's... are you blond per chance?
*grabs lotion*
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
And I just ordered Chinese food lol
lmfao she's 60 years older than me and waaaaaaay fitter.
Home-granny's legs are flawless.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
continues to guzzle pepsi......
awesome grandma...
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
mad props to johanna.
I did that same routine in my living room when I was nine and my parents set down their vodka tonics to clap for my attention hongry ass.
Holy Cow.. that's damn good for 86!!
I am half her age and my creaky bones retreated further into my whale blubber, just watching her... *slinks away embarrassed*
>:o(
*passes out from doing a rep of Kegels*
AWE INSPIRING (sorry, I had to use all-caps)!
She has the legs of a fit 20-something.
Very humbling.
I just put down my Nutella and graham crackers to go and exercise....
_______________________
www.dungeonhordes.com
_______________________
I take off my imaginary hat for this old lady. I only wish to have her strenght and stamina, and I'm more than 50 years younger.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
I'm amazed at the tenacity and strength of this woman. She is remarkable.
Whoa! Granny's gams are amazing!
☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯
The past, present and future all walk into a bar... it was really tense.
Holy Shit she's amazing! RE-SPECT! Her money's no good at any Cracker Barrel. Love her.
Don't break a hip granny!!!
Damn, she stronger than me!
This shit made me tear up, no kidding. I see a lot of crazy shit at the hospital (I'm in nursing school), but one of the things that really hurts is hearing an older person wishing to be dead because their bodies don't work anymore. This lady is an inspiration - she has the legs of a fucking 30-year old!
OK, that settles it - time to go whip out my vintage copy of Buns of Steel.
Damn, I feel sedentary now!
Get it, granny!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Damn, guuurl! I'm more than half her age, and I'm lying in bed today with a herniated disk!
Submitted by joanne on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 11:08am.
Madonna should be embarrassed.
Ha!!! Damn straight, Mdna deserves a good old fashioned "ho, sit down" after that sparkling display.
definitely not showing this to my 8 y.o. gymnast daughter whom i want to quit that shit not only because its not a sport old people do but also because the goddamn meets are 2 hours drive away and take an entire Saturday. Any parent who says they love spending their weekends on soccer field, baseball fields, meets, tournament is absolutely insane.
I thought this was Sophia from 'The Golden Girls.'
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Dayum!!! That's just incredible! Go grandma. <3
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Hells yes. Go Memaw!
_______________________________________________
This needs a "Memaw Crotch" tag.
But, she is amazing.
********************
"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
This needs a "Memaw Crotch" tag.
But, she is amazing.
********************
"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
lmao, I can't stop laughing but she's fucking nice...more limber than most fat ass 25 yr olds
She looks like the kind of spirited, sessy beauty that Doc and the Captain would fight over and Isaac would have to step in with his words of wisdom an mediate.
Hat's off, memaw! My knees pop when I get out of bed in the morning.
However did she manage to squeeze her Depends in that tiny velour bodysuit of hers??
Don't tell she is not the product of some nasty eugenics Nazi experiment. That is fucking unbelievable.
Madonna should be embarrassed.
Damn!!!! She's amazing.
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.