Taylor Lautner Got A Slimy Facial Last Night
Seen here looking happy at home with several loads of sticky, wet, thick goo all over his alpaca face, Taylor Lautner was just one of the many hos who happily got hit with a Slimer bukkake at last night's Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. They say this is the Kids Choice Awards, but this is really the Tommy Girl's Choice Awards, because these pictures have made TG put the DO NOT DISTURB sign over his dungeon door while asking Xenu to forgive him for his fapping sins. Taylor Lautner + Alien Jizz = a party in Tommy's panties!
Taylor looks a little TOO happy while covered in bright green stickiness. If a load of green goo hit me in the face, I'd wonder what kind of Gerard Butler-like disease the peen it came from suffers from? I know what pineapple does, but what does that?! I bet that's what it looks like when you put a Parasite Hilton cream pie under a black light.
But Taylor wasn't the only one who got slimed last night. So did Halle Berry (insert Gabriel Aubry slow clap here), and below is Justin Bieber getting slimed while Will Smith bear hugged him from behind (via CDAN):
I don't know what happened there, but it has to be illegal in at least 1 province.
Here's a few more pictures from last night's mess of a show. In order!: Andrew Garfield, Kelly Taylor, Selena Gomez, Heidi Klum, Jesse McCartney, Kelly Osbourne, Katy Perry, some Garbage Pail Kid refugees, Kristen Stewart, Emma Stoner, Ashley Jizzdale, Halle Berry, The Lesbeaver with Will Smith and Michelle Obama.
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Michelle Obama is one ugly bitch. Reminds me of the Emperor who wore no clothes...she believes everyone when they say how beautiful she is....
Ooh, Jaden Smith is hard at work practicing his Douche Celebrity Face. Careful, kid, you're gonna pull something! Hahahaha, what an ass :D
Lautner is fug. FUG.
cannot stand emma stone.. something seriously rubs me the wrong way on her..
I give katy perrys makeup team a big thumbs up.. if you see how they transform her face for the better.. they don't get paid enough.
Michelle looks more suited to Ru Paul's Drag Race than the Nickelodeon Awards.
Great Outfit, Michelle, but you forgot the clown nose.
one person complains that the FI\irst Lady doesn't wear couture, another that the White House isn't furnished from the JC Penney catalogue. Can't please everyone.
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God don't like ugly.
My husband is a dead ringer for Taylor Lautner but he doesn't think so. Everyone on dListed makes fun of Taylor yet my husband gets hit on all the time. My husband is a comic artist and you can read his comics by clicking the below link. He gets paid zero dollars for it but loves doing it.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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"have made TG put the DO NOT DISTURB sign over his dungeon door while asking Xenu to forgive him for his fapping sins"
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LOL I do not approve this message!!!
And I would like to be the money in Heidi Klum's ham wallet.
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Kristen Stewart's hair looks like she just came from the gym, Heidi Klum needs a bra, and WTF is up with Michelle Obama's pants???
Emma Stone and Selena Gomez look great.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Does Katy Perry have man face? Whaaaat?
She has these HUGE eyes. She could never dress in drag and be convincing.
Perry's tits are still not enough to take away from her man face....although I'm sure that's what they're for.
If she is getting to sleep in a bed with silk sheets and have her morning bath in a 12-person jacuzzi, then I would say she is getting paid for every second of them. Indirectly.
And overpaid too.
I really Like M. Obama as a person, but I'm so sick and tired of hearing how she is the epitome of style, blah blah blah. She has awful taste in clothing. So there's Carla Bruni in her $5,000 Chanel suit while Michelle's sitting there in her $30 Lands End shift dress. Nice way to represent our country.
And who is she channeling here, Beyonce?
biorexia, liverwurst, if you don't get it, after witnessing however many american presidencies in your adult life, then no amount of explaining on a blog is going to teach you what the role of the first lady is.
By the way, where did you read that she gets paid for appearances? i would think that would be all over the news, if she were accepting appearance fees for the charities she works for, or for presenting awards.
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God don't like ugly.
And also, what's so special about Michelle Obama?
She gets to live a life of luxury and gets worshipped just because she attends certain events and takes part in other charitable causes. Who wouldn't?
She gets to wear pretty dresses (OK, not here, but sometimes), she gets worshipped and gets loads of undeserved attention for no reason at all.
At least Paris Hilton made an album and acted in House of Wax. At least she made a porn tape.
What's Michelle Obama got on that? I would also get paid to go to these events if I got to wear dresses like the one above.
I wish I could "like" Dlisted posts, because if I could, I would like the one directly beneath this one.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 5:10am.
Submitted by bigorexia on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:25am.
By the way, what the FUCK is Michelle Obama doing there?
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She was presenting an award for doing charity work:
"Michelle was on hand with Sasha and Malia to award Swift Nickelodeon's Big Help Award."
Encouraging the kids to do good deeds. Remember "a thousand points of light"?
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Umm... that still doesn't explain why Michelle was there. Of all the people to choose to hand out that award and they chose her? lol! LIke she's so charitable. Michelle gets PAID to show up to events or make commercials and let us not forget (as if we could with the ever increasing size of her ass) all the free luncheons she attends or hosts. pfft.
Michelle Obama... hot damn!
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Kristen Stewrat has chronic premenstrual face.
Kelly Osbourne look like fun.
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Michelle Obama was there because of charity. Furthermore, there is a difference between being a celebrity and being a person of note. The two are not one and the same.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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@ZiggyStardust Nothing but love for your avatar. :)
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:33am.
Not sure why they are trying to make their kids famous; it's not going to happen. WHy not just put them through school and set them up for life rather than squeeze out a few more years of bad 80s remakes?
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Bad 80s made Will rich and, through those years of wealth and fame gittin', obnoxious. The obnoxious think their insufferable obnoxiousness somehow results in happiness. It's a kind of reverse pavlovian reflex.
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Submitted by bigorexia on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:25am.
By the way, what the FUCK is Michelle Obama doing there?
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She was presenting an award for doing charity work:
"Michelle was on hand with Sasha and Malia to award Swift Nickelodeon's Big Help Award."
Encouraging the kids to do good deeds. Remember "a thousand points of light"?
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God don't like ugly.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:33am.
"Not sure why they are trying to make their kids famous"
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Well, I guess they are hitting that age where they soon won't be relevant any more. Jada hasn't been relevant for God knows how long, and Will Smith is kind of past his prime. He isn't doing movies any more, as far as I am aware.
So if they want to keep their luxury lifestyles for the coming four decades, I guess the best bet is to rely on their kids. You can't deny those kids are talented. I mean, there are countless more talented kids who nobody has or will ever hear about, but Willita can sing, and that boy (whatever his name is) can act.
God, Jada Smith is just...
Will has got to be gay. I have never seen a more mismatched couple in my life. At this stage, Will is in another galaxy, let alone league to Jada.
Not sure why they are trying to make their kids famous; it's not going to happen. WHy not just put them through school and set them up for life rather than squeeze out a few more years of bad 80s remakes?
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.
Michelle Obama's kids are probably big WWE fans as well, but it doesn't mean that she should roll around in thumb tacs with them.
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.
By the way, what the FUCK is Michelle Obama doing there?
She is the wife of a political figure. I hate when people use politics to become celebrities. It's even worse than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian using their cooches to become celebrities.
Taylor Lautner? Whenever I see his picture I think he just looks like every other dimwitted, unattractive hick to ever crawl out from under a haystack with a 6th grade education (think Jethro Bodine) ugh!
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
The (annoying) Smith family sure is trying hard to bring back the 80s.
What is so extraordinary about Perry's breasts? I just see a whole lot of cheap. And what possesed Jada to shave off her hair on one side? Unless, of course, she is finally outing her inner power lesbian. Amidst all these posers, Michelle Obama seems so nice and real. I just love her smile.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by Stan Derp on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 11:17pm.
Still no real smile from Kristen...sure she kinda showed her teeth but not really a smile.
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That's because she's a mouf breafer!
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known
I always get Ashley and that Kristen Calamari chick confused. Mostly because Ashley always looks like she's going to the Laguna Beach prom ca. 2005, and someone needs to raid her caboodle and steal her baby peach and nude lipstick collection.
Still no real smile from Kristen...sure she kinda showed her teeth but not really a smile.
What's up with these fashions besides UGLY!!!
Kelly looks great but that hair color... Not flattering.
Excuse me, but can someone please tell me exactly what the fuck Katy Perry is wearing?
Submitted by Whatever
Why the fuck does Kelly Osbourne get invited to these things?
IMO it's because all the celebs want her to say nice things about them on "Fashion Police". Kelly can be bought; she is desperate to be one of the "cool kids", and everyone knows this. As long as a celeb acts like Kelly's friend Kelly is all, "Oh, she is so beautiful and smart and classy! We hang out at awards shows! I think she looks fabulous!" The rest of the people on FP are different. You could be sweet as pie to Joan Rivers and she'd still make fun of you if you wore something stupid.
Submitted by Sexy Decoy on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 9:50pm.
{The Smiths disgust me. Their children are smug and ugly.
Katy Perry is a tone-deaf cat in heat, looks retarded, but women are still jealous of her tits.
Taylor Lautner looks a bit too at ease with a face full of sticky goo.
Does that just about cover it?}
Pretty much ALL OF THIS. I like the hobo clothes though, so help me Lord, I like the hobo clothes! :P
Oh, they are trying to replace Jennifer Anustun with Emma Stone??? Shit, I thought she was supposed to be the quick replacement for Lindsay L. when her diareah (sp)exploded. Just seemed like Emma looked like the Lindsay sub in all those movies last year. Damn, would never have thought they were meaning she reminds anyone of JA. Interesting
Just his luck to draw the Incredible Hulk in only his 73rd bukkake contest.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
The Smiths disgust me. Their children are smug and ugly.
Katy Perry is a tone-deaf cat in heat, looks retarded, but women are still jealous of her tits.
Taylor Lautner looks a bit too at ease with a face full of sticky goo.
Does that just about cover it?
From the size of Mobama's hips it looks like she's been enjoying all those free lunches. Dang...
Submitted by RufusR on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 9:26pm.
{The Smiths look like they picked out their outfits from the clearance bin at the Salvation Army.}
ZOH MAH GAH! Don't hate on the Salvation Army! Even at my wealthiest, I loved shopping at second-hand stores for my clothes! You can find some awesome stuff, both vintage and new. Don't be hatin' on second-hand SUE! ;P
The Smiths look like they picked out their outfits from the clearance bin at the Salvation Army.
Why the fuck does Kelly Osbourne get invited to these things? The Smith son looks like one smug little brat.
Everyone looked for the most part the way you would expect them to look at a kids "awards" show...crazy. The over exposure of some of them is off the charts and to think that some will be getting even more exposure at the Country Music Awards tonight.
Heidi Klum and her flapjacks? GTFOH
Jada Pinkett and her jacked up hair "style'? GTFOH
FLOTUS? Not bad but not great either!
Selena Gomez? already a hasbeen and hanging on for dear life to Beiber. She is a Sally Field wannabe with a negative 10% of the talent and negative 20% of Sally's girlish charm.
Taylor Lautner? Grab as much money as you can NOW then when your 15 min are up, you can enjoy the dough with your lover on some remote island somewhere laughing at Hollywood.
Michelle Obama, was there to give Taylor Swift an award for her charity work. She didn't just randomly show up there with no purpose, unlike Heidi Klum and Halle Berry.
Sorry double post
Michelle's smile looks so pretty in the last pic
Michelle's smile looks so pretty in the last pic