Dumbass Shoots Mohawked Woman After Mistaking Her For A Bird
Before you get into this news story directly from the "I Can't Believe It's Not Florida!" files, just assume that everyone involved was high on some kind of bad shit at the time. Everyone from the mohawked lady to the shooter to the cats were definitely messed up on something (mostly, the drug that is stupidity).
49-year-old Derrill Rockwell of Grand Junction, Colorado was on the lookout for a bitch bird with a red mohawk who had been terrorizing his cats. Derrill was out to git that flying debul and when he spotted the tip of a red mohawk on a hilltop about 90 feet away from his house, he pulled out his 22-caliber rifle and shot at it. Derrill was surprised that the next sound to hit his ears wasn't a single chirp followed by a thud. Derrill heard the sound of a human moan. When he went over to the hill to investigate, he found a 23-year-old woman with a head wound. THAT DUMB CRAZY SHOT HER ASS! Derrill mistook her red mohawk for the red mohawk on his arch rival. Police say that the woman was passed out in a drunken coma at the time she was shot. They also found a bag of meth nearby. The woman was not severely injured and she disappeared after her injuries were treated at the hospital.
The dumbass shooter was charged with felony possession of a weapon by a prior offender. Derrill was banned from using a gun in 1995 after he was convicted of robbery. Derrill pleaded guilty to the felony possession of a weapon charge in court last week and was sentenced to five years probation.
Meanwhile, guess who's still at large?
Dumb bitches with guns: 0
Pussy-terrorizing birds with red mohawks: ALL THE POINTS!
via Boing Boing
• 
My mom once saved a young Cardinal who was trapped between a window and a display wall in a store. She brought it home to make sure it was ok befor releasing it. With no where else to put it, she put the bird in with our parakeet. We glanced over soon after and the parakeet had the Cardinal hanging upside down by the toe! We felt it best to relese the poor little thing as it seemed terrorized but otherwise in good shape. That bird picture is adorable and hilarious though.
My bro-in-law was shot by his uncle once... they were hunting.... my BIL had a bright ORANGE vest on too...... WTF? Guns in the hands of idiots.... people will get hurt.
On topic - that die job on the mo is AWFUL! What did they use??? Kool-Aid?? Disgusting.....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.
First off, cardinals are sweet birds. Kind of wish MK put a picture up of Foghorn Leghorn instead.
As for the story, that is horrible. IIRC, a 22 caliber bullet can travel up to 2000 yards. Imagine how much further that bullet could have traveled, if he indeed shot at a bird and missed.
Granted, in this case he shot a woman. Even though he didn't mean to shoot her, that dude does deserve some serious jail time. Especially when you consider that the dude wasn't supposed to have a gun in the first place.
As for his cats being teased? I don't believe it. I think it was just a made up excuse.
Regardless, cats should be kept in the house anyway, they live a heckuva a lot longer when they are kept indoors.
She was passed out, ON the floor? How does her hair stick out like a bird? ...WHATADUMBASS...
"out to git that flying debul" hahahaha ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
@PU
The resident Persian can relate. He's neutered, but is trying to hump my mouse (computer) like there is no tomorrow as I type. Wouldn't trade him for a million bucks.
***************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
funny!
I hate guns, but I love this story.
--------------------------------------------------------
"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Yeah we went to the park today and the sparrows were mating all over the damn place. Even Lil PU asked what the heck they were doing. I had to say "fighting" over a nest/favorite tree. The other nite he picked up two frogs and asked why they were stuck together. I told him they were in love and to put them down!
Almost thought that was Rihanna, for a second there.
_______________________________________________
the "I Can't Believe It's Not Florida!" files
LOL! I've got a pair Cardinals that appear in my backyard every morning...awesome looking birds.
Loving the cardinal.
birds are a little wacky here at
this time of year- mating season
"Shalikla!"
That guy is a jackass and should me charged with more than just, especially since his shit was suspended anyway, also I dye my hair colors like blue and purple, I don't do drugs, but in all honesty, if you told me someone with a red mohawk was found drunk and had meth on them, I wouldn't be surprised. Also why would she disappear that quickly after being checked out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by elmo533 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 5:16pm.
She just happened to have a bag of meth next to her. Or perhaps Derrill put the bag of meth he was smoking next to her after he shot her.
^ Hadn't even thought of that, you might be right
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:55pm.
That being said something about this story ain't adding up. She was passed out on meth and alcohol on a hill and shot in the head? Was she passed out standing up? Laying down backwards? Hmmmm....
^ I'm probably over-thinking it but if this meth-alcohol lady was horizontal then maybe her red mohawk hair-do looked like a bird standing in the grass sort of? Since a bird would be low to the ground. Just a guess...
This story is wrong on so many levels! But my favorite, of course is Meth as a superdrug! Cured that pesky head wound right up!
This story is all sorts of stupid.
_______________________________________________
nothing good comes of a gun. not for people or animals.
i fucking hate guns. i won't go in a house where i know there's one and i won't hang with anyone that carries.
too much bad potential, deliberate or accidental.
.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
@Mike
ROFLMAO! I wonder if they have a scratch-and-sniff model?
****************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
This is why there should be some kind of IQ test before you get a gun!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 5:30pm.
http://www.king5.com/news/local/Bacon-Coffin-lets-bacon-lovers-die-AND-g...
Dumbass should have just enlisted the help of an air horn. When I and my college roommates kept getting repeat prank phone calls, I unfurled one of those bad boys into the phone handset. Worked like a charm.
****************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
I hate guns, but I hate brainless idiots with guns the most. While I find some birds annoying, killing a small bird with a gun is pretty much the same as killing a fly with a gun; in other words, pretty fucking stupid.
Last year a very territorial bird was driving my dumb cats crazy, acting like he was the king of the hill. He would perch on the electricity cables waiting for my cats to show their dumb asses so he could poke them all over. It was a really loud bird too. I showed him my displeasure by greeting him with a huge water sprayer, just because he was really noisy; never in a million years would I thought of killing it.
In the natural cause of things, if my cats were OK with the thug bird bullying their asses every single day, I figured I should back off and let the animals be animals.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Apparently, as far as gun nuts are concerned, mohawks are the hoodie of Colorado.
Having lived in Grand Junction at one time, I am not surprised. And I can assure you there are plenty more where that comes from.
She just happened to have a bag of meth next to her. Or perhaps Derrill put the bag of meth he was smoking next to her after he shot her. If they were in Texas his ass would have been charged with more than just possession of a weapon.
----------------------------------
"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
That's Grand Junction for ya...
....a bird was terrorizing his pussy ass cats? that's hilarious.
Are we sure it wasn't Plaxico Burress?
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:43pm.
Agreed. He shot her in the head WTF.
That being said something about this story ain't adding up. She was passed out on meth and alcohol on a hill and shot in the head? Was she passed out standing up? Laying down backwards? Hmmmm....
LMAO at this whole post though.
**************************************************************
#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
Every morning these cute little birds sit on the window sill outside & chirp. It's sweet unless it's still dark out & they're fighting or having a moment that no one wants to watch. But this morning this enormous stranger bird was clinging to the screen with it's feet kinda sideways. Very gross & creepy.
*****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
*H5s JNIH*
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
that's what you get for having a red mowhawk DUH
Haha at SNF (sucknfuck)!! ololollloooOOLlllLL
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Hold up, what kind of large bright red bird is there in CO? Dude is a dumbass.
I tawt a taw a poodyt...oh fuck it.
****************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Dumbass.
*****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
This is terrible but MK's "I Can't Believe It's Not Florida!" files made me LMAO. We had a crazy cardinal attack our car mirrors a few years in a row. My sister had to sew covers so the poor idiot could get some rest and find a girlfriend, raise a family, etc.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:43pm.
"Only charged with possession? I'm glad she wasn't seriously injured, but she was SHOT. Sounds like assault with a deadly weapon to me.
"I'm hardly a big gun control person, but maybe if we actually arrested fuckers for going around shooting people, it would help."
From what I can see, it was a freak accident. Now, if he had intentionally shot her, you'd have a point. As it is, I have no idea why you're so angry.
The Dreamin' Demon reported on this last week. Just sayin'.
Only charged with possession? I'm glad she wasn't seriously injured, but she was SHOT. Sounds like assault with a deadly weapon to me.
I'm hardly a big gun control person, but maybe if we actually arrested fuckers for going around shooting people, it would help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I'd berate him, but this is kind of a " if you hear hoof beats, think horse not zebra" scenario.
I mean, really, what were the odds that there would be a woman with a haircut eerily similar to the bird some guy was trying to shoot?
At least it wasn't Florida?
**************************************************************
#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
omg a woman shot in the head! LMAO!!! Hysterical! I bet there was blood and everything! She's gonna have a RIDICULOUS scar on her head from that probably! LMAOOOO!!!!! Oh god I can't stop laughing! I'm gonna get fired if I keep laughing this loud and consistently!!
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.