Friday, April 13th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By Charlize Theron's Birthday Message For Kristen Stewart
Has it really come to this, marketing people for Snow White and the Huntsman? I hope that the Little Birdie (fun fact: the name of the VP of publicity at Universal Pictures is Little Birdie) who told Charlize Theron it was Kristen Stewart's birthday also had five blunts in its beak and promised to give them to her after she recorded this awkward mess of a greeting. I don't know if Charlize is paying homage to Kristen by trying to look as uncomfortable and awkward as possible, but she looks pretty fucking uncomfortable and awkward. But it's good to know that when Charlize feels uncomfortable she starts talking like Otto Mann from The Simpsons. I'm kind of turned on.
Source: Lainey Gossip via Videogum
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ubmitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:59pm.
Whamo on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:10pm.
BTW, for me it's gin, drank so much of it one day that Holy Fcuk the smell of it makes me ILL to this day
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Ah gin, the old panty remover! I was out with this chick one time and we got really PISSED on gin and Wink, when we woke up in the morning she was laughing her ass off, I DID manage to get her panties off that night but she also managed to get them on me! Lol!!
Nope, nope, and fucking nope, Deb. As and adult I have definitely let slip a "dude" or two...it's an intergenerational term. The rest of her "speech" is embarrassingly ridiculous, and she should know better.
No, she is trying to be hip, and it falls flatter than a board.
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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 -
10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Diverging on the reference to "Clueless," a college roommate and I used to re-enact the "Ambular" scene:
Cher: Say Ambular.
Amber: Oh hi!
Cher: Been digging through my trash?
Amber: Yeah right. Like I would really shop at Judy’s.
Cher: Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?
Amber: (makes exasperating sound)
I was Cher. I am ashamed to own up to the entire experience.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
ubmitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:10pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:00pm.
That is me with Goldschläger
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Gin for me.
As for drinking while watching 'Clueless', I'm enjoying a bourbon while watching 'The Silence of the Lambs'.
As for the video, it's pretty clear CT did it as publicity for the movie. Doesn't bother me.
"BTW, for me it's gin, drank so much of it one day that Holy Fcuk the smell of it makes me ILL to this day! Did double tequila shots to the death some years ago, and don't remember anything that happened after the first two shots. So tequila is still ok with me. ;P"
Holy shit, it's like you wrote my story. Overindulged in gin, cannot stand the smell of it to this day. Overindulged in tequila and we're still girls to this day.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
I don't think Charlize will age well.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 7:20pm.
LOL at the apparatus comment. I find that if I bang them against the counter, the juice comes out a little easier. Take that any way you'd like. ;-)
I did see your recipe and will be trying it soon. Need to switch things up on occasion!
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Submitted by beb on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 6:59pm.
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Bought some chicken breasts today, shall I let you know how it goes with your recipe? Except I have a regular lemon squeezer - nothing like yours *snickers* Thanks again for the instructions. Did you see the rich recipe I left you? Well, all in moderation of course, use non-fat mayo and it should be healthy too. ;)
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 6:54pm
No, I'm not a chef...though I am making some of my healthy Chicken Piccata right now. It's all about balance!
There was no dancing. Had to get to work early this morning (6:30), so took an earlier train home.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
@ ND
At least the birdies didn't go after your privates. :-)
The worst drinking incident was the first time I had gin martinis. It didn't hit me until I walked to the bathroom and pinballed my way through the pub. I went to put the toilet seat down and it came right off the toilet and I started laughing like a loon because I thought I sudden developed superpowers.
Later, when I was dropped off home I went face first into some gravel and vomited all over my new dress. Then I went into my apartment to make tea, left the kettle on and passed out nearly burning the place down.
beb-eh, just knew you'd have a great time. YUM! Just hearing your descriptions... *mouth waters*. I need to step up the game next dinner party, because give these guys beer and they're happy... ;] (I hope you are not some chef btw... that would would not be fair on your part) But was there dancing? Because I think after all that you'd need a brisk walk out in the fresh air to some club? heheh ;P
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
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"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
My drinking story is when I went to college in Kansas the 1st time(totally bombed that try) in the 90's. I went to a party with a friend at an artists house. Nobody told me they had a standing rule: that the 1st person to pass out would be stripped down to their undies and painted head to toe and deposited at the park directly across the street. The park had a bench with one of those lifesize human sculptures sitting on it; reading a book or something like that. I woke up still buzzed at the crack of dawn because of some noisy assed birds and looked around. I laughed, went back to the house and got my clothes and left.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 6:11pm.
Hahaha...you little minx. :-)
Yes, we went out last night. Started at the bar at the hotel she was staying at because the sky opened up. Had some wine there, and then moved to the restaurant, Kingston Station. Cute little French bistro with a great atmosphere and very attentive service. I had the pappardelle bolognese, which was made with a wild boar and venison ragu. Excellent! She had the seared tuna nicoise salad. And more wine, of course!
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
@Mayo, thanks so much for sharing, several kind DListers had also warned against it. Ugh doesn't sound good at all. If the writer is not great, the story just drags. Glad it was free!! Some BDSM can be very off-putting. If I hear of any good stories, I'll let you know. I'm sure the collective wisdom on here can give MUCH better suggestions. ;)
@Beb!! bb how are you? Although you'll probably miss this because it's not up top, hehehehe I'll remind you later! Did you go out with your NY friend? ;P
-----LOOOOOOOK HEEEEEEEREEEEE!! hahaha----
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 5:26pm.
Mayo: I read them all in like a week, yeah I agree with your assement too. I kind of loved Christian tho...It was mostly his money :P
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You did? Do they end up having NORMAL "vanilla" sex? Do they get back together??
Even though he has a lot of money and (according to the book) is really hot, i don't like him, he's so weird.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by Neurotic on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 5:32pm.
Mayo, did you buy the thing or find a place to d/l it for free?
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I downloaded it for free, if i would've pay for it i'd be more pissed off that i'm already am for reading it, such a waste.
However, i do feel like i want to read the second part, just to see what happens between Ana and Christian, yes i know, i'm weird :(
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 5:23pm.
Mayo, 1) wow, you read very fast, 2) whataboutthesex? 3) meh seems to be the consensus, yes ;)
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Well i didn't like his thing for "Dominent - Submissive" sex (?), also the way they show "vanilla sex" as a bad thing, PISSED ME OFF!! What is wrong with vanilla sex? I'd prefer it any day over hitting me till i'm bleeding just because "it turns you on" WTF!? That's why i say that even though christian is hot and has lots of money, he is really fucked up, if i was Ana i would'nt put up with that shit, i'd say to him "we're only having 'vanila sex' or i'm out!" honestly, fuck him! And her for being so dumb.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Happy Friday Beb!
Happy Friday everyone!!!
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Thamar, so lucky those who have seen this live!
♪Lovehdoveh, yeah now yo funneh too!♪
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 5:21pm.
Hiya, Momus!
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Hey, Jack.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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I think Charlize is exquisite but the only woman for me is Monica Bellucci.
Mayo, did you buy the thing or find a place to d/l it for free?
Submitted by Thamar on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 5:27pm.
"the wife a little funny and all... yea, now you funny too."
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Mayo: I read them all in like a week, yeah I agree with your assement too. I kind of loved Christian tho...It was mostly his money :P
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Drinking talk, leave you with the ultimate
George Thorogood "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"
"Came home one Friday and ......you got the rent money yet?'
HAVE SOME FUN HERE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is cool to see Charlize so back in the headlines like lately.
I wish more actors were really like this and only popped when they're working hard.
I don't like the or stunt for the film, but I totally respect Charlize and know this is the only reason she's done: because bitch's gotta hustle and sell this shit, not because she's an attention ho, willing to dumb embarrassing shit just for more media spotlight.
Mayo, 1) wow, you read very fast, 2) whataboutthesex? 3) meh seems to be the consensus, yes ;)
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Hiya, Momus!
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Hi, Kidz.
Beautful day today in Sacramento.
Pouring rain. Good excuse to on the couch in jammies and read a book while drinking a cup of Constant Comment.
And, to Dlist of course.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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The worst was spring break my senior year... we were partying with a bunch of fuck ups from Auburn and one of their friends passed out in the hotel... we shaved his head like a fuckin soccer ball... hahahahahaha dude was PISSED
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Your drinking stories are killing me! Lol.
First time I got drunk I slammed a bunch of Yukon Jack. If you don't know what that is, it wasn't a wise choice for one of my first times dranking.
I got lost from my friends and some how ended up on the back deck of a gay bar. I had called my boyfriend at the time crying telling him that I was lost and couldn't feel my feet, and he lived a few hours away and couldnt do anything. Haha. Luckily someone found me and brought me in the bar and they gave me food, I sobered up enough to call one of my other friends and her boyfriend and they came and got me and drove my ass home.
I agree with everyone saying that a lot of people overdo it when they first drink because people are testing out their limit.
Hi guys! So i FINALLY read 50 shades of grey and even though is too long (to me it was), Ana is annoying and Christian is a fucked up asshole with lots of hormones, i did enjoy it, but i wouldn't say is one of the best novels of all time, and now that i've read the book, i don't understand why everyone says is so special, is just another novel about the "inocent, virgin" girl that falls in love with the bad wrong boy. Lame.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:54pm.
All my friends are rejects from "Jackass"... still!
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Well, if she's paying tribute with awkwardness and uncomfortableness, she'll have to do the lip-biting and loud mouth-breathing as well.
I get the feeling that there isn't a lot of anticipation for this movie, so they're trying hard to remind us, "HEY! This movie has the vanilla turd from Twilight AND an Oscar-winning actress! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION!"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
LOL Snoooowyy!!!!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Whamo on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:10pm.
My two cents....I've thought she was a smokin hot piece of ass from the first time I saw her and whether or not others like her is irrelevant to me.
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CO-SIGN 100x, I think Theron is the hotness too, what others like or don't like is their own concern. This isn't high school but it was funny.
BTW, for me it's gin, drank so much of it one day that Holy Fcuk the smell of it makes me ILL to this day! Did double tequila shots to the death some years ago, and don't remember anything that happened after the first two shots. So tequila is still ok with me. ;P
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Darknight... ♥ ♥ ♥
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Lol @ the penny & sharpie stories!!!!
Charlize is the hotness. She was so good in Devils Advocate with Keanu.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:33pm.
LMFAO at "they just put me in the closet"
We all went sledding on this BIG ASS HILL one time and I passed out in the car... they stuck me on an innertube and pushed me down... halfway down I woke up and pissed my pants... LIH-TRUH-LEE
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OMG! I am crying laughing right now and just got busted by the boss because my cackle is so fucking loud.
*blows snot bubbles*
oops
dp
Thanks, guest. I love coming here because you funny ho's make the days seem better. LOVES.
WithinReason... You're right, crying all day ain't gonna help him. Just called him and he sounds better. I'm gonna just keep a good line of communication and if anything else comes up I'm gonna fly over there. He's worth it.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Hey, I say "dude" from time to time my old damn self. Charlize doesn't need to "decide" how old she must act and talk. We just SAW how she acts and talks. She's talking to a younger actress, too. No biggie.
catfight, sorry about your nephew and your messed up sister. I do agree that many of us go through the same thing. My first time a-yackin' was sloe gin! Just as pretty coming out as it is going in!
One of my sisters sounds a lot like yours, and my oldest nephew went through crazy stuff like this and more. He's never had a lot of common sense, but at least he has a good job and a place and isn't doing that dumb stuff anymore. Here's hoping that your nephew grows out of it too.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:33pm.
LMFAO at "they just put me in the closet"
We all went sledding on this BIG ASS HILL one time and I passed out in the car... they stuck me on an innertube and pushed me down... halfway down I woke up and pissed my pants... LIH-TRUH-LEE
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
It's pretty obvious that Charlize, an Oscar winner, has issues with Kristen when she can't even muster up fake enthusiasm for a birthday greeting.
@catfight357, agree with others this happens a lot with kids drinking. I'd be pissed at the your nephews friends, they suck! It is still scary to think of someone out there all night passed out. I know what you mean!
@Darknight, don't worry hun, it does no good to your grandad. He should pull through!! (hugs)
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:10pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:34pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:30pm.
I mean, Charlize is gorgeous, but I get the impression people here overtly shit their pants over her because it's the "in" thing to do.
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Agree. There are certain celebs here that have permanent A+ status like CT. I now have to down as a middle B for that bullshit.
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My two cents....I've thought she was a smokin hot piece of ass from the first time I saw her and whether or not others like her is irrelevant to me.
You can't hate on all of the people all of the time, every so often someone comes along a lot of people happen to like, not sure if there's much more to it than that:)
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Listen YOU - I like her too (and she's gorg!) but the shout out (on video!) is stupid because Kristin is an ugly, ungrateful bad actress. And stuff like "man" and "keep rockin'" addressed to a moron isn't cool and CT is too old for that shit.
And I only gave you 1c this morning in your lunch box. Where'd you get the other one for in order to form an opinion?!
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Dark-sided!
this comes off like a make-a-wish video greeting. surprised she didn't say "you're gonna kick cancer's ass!" or something.
MJT! You are lucky you didn't choke.
I have had to be carried home more times than I care to remember.
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Whatcha' thinking? Stop blaming me
He wasn't man enough for me
If you don't know now, here's your chance
I've already had your man
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:22pm.
LMAO I thought me waking up in a closet with a penny in my mouth was bad! LOL. The party got busted and apparently i told everyone a penny would take the alcohol breathe away. They just put me in the closet. *sideye*
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Um, you guys are not helping, LOL
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky