The Publicists, I Mean, The People Have Spoken! Beyonce Is The World's Most Beautiful Woman!

People has released their annual World's Most Beautiful Woman issue (known to you and me as the Whose Publicist Agreed To Give People The Most Exclusive Stories And Photo Spreads In Exchange For A Title That Doesn't Mean Shit? issue) and Beyonce beat out the likes of Christina Hendricks, Sofia Vergara and Paula Patton for the crown. Meanwhile, Solange was just named, for the 10th time in a row, the Basement's Most Beautiful Baby by Moth Ball Magazine (subscriber count: 1).

Beyonce used her interview with People to let all of you pillow baby conspiracists know that B.I.C. came directly from her cashmere-covered womb. If you're a South American surrogate living in a Manhattan apartment mysteriously bought by a company called Lace Front Inc., please hold your laughter.

"I feel more beautiful than I've ever felt because I've given birth. I have never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth.

The best thing about having a daughter is having a true legacy. The word 'love' means something completely different now."

No comment. But I will comment on that cover. I, for one, am glad Beyonce was named the World's Most Beautiful Woman, because if she wasn't we wouldn't see this picture that looks straight out of a Glamour Shots in New Mexico.

And now I leave you with these pictures of Dlisted's Most Beautiful Woman, Auntie Dionne, getting all the numbers in Philadelphia last night.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Beyonce • Why Are You Pulling My Dick?

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Submitted by EdmundLangdown on Fri, 04/27/2012 - 12:44pm.

Whatever. For one, Michelle Pfeiffer TODAY is more beautiful than Beyonce has ever been.

Submitted by ltr448 on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 9:12am.

It should have been Zoe Saldana, she is truly beautiful, this cover is insult to the word beautiful.

Her publicity bought this cover, I imagine most of these copies will be returned to People magazine, as unsold damages, because no one will buy into this crap.

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 7:44am.

What's funny about K2 is that when People mag actually chose Jolie she thought People mag was the most reputable mag in the world. Now apparently it's just some rag bought off by publicists

*******************

Uh, apparently you dont know sarcasm when you read it. It was obvious that my tone was just that. I cant stand Jolie or her make believe "image". We know that People mag is up her ass and that's why it's so shocking that they didnt throw her on the cover.

Seriously. WTF is your problem.

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 7:38am.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Pre baby: Hair was constantly blown out and looking magazine perfect. Post baby: Lucky if I wash it.

Pre baby: Size 4 jeans. Post baby: I don't wanna talk about it.

Pre baby: Full face of exquisitely applied make-up every morning. Post baby: Yeah, right.

Pre baby: five inch come-do-me heels pretty much everywhere. Post baby: ballerina flats or running shoes.

I love my son more than life, but come on. This "motherhood makes me me feel so hot, gorgeous and sexy" bullshit has got to stop

*************

TRUTH!

Celebrities would realize this too if they werent allowing a gaggle of nannies and staff to deal with middle of the night feedings, bathing, diaper duty, laundry, preparing meals, cleaning house, etc. Celebrities run "photo op" errands and hang out in spas while getting primped. They know NOTHING about not taking showers, having little sleep AND living in yoga pants! Fuck them.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 7:11am.

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 12:33am.

Along with 100% of female celebrities of all ethnicities. By the way she hasn't had breast implants, but you are delusional so there's no point arguing that with you.

Submitted by boston61 on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:03pm.

WIGS , A NOSE JOB, BREAST IMPLANTS, AND A GALLON OF MAKE UP. What a joke.

Submitted by Bda on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 10:32pm.

LMAO! Damn you all went in on Beyawnce. I know her people paid big money for that cover. I've seen prettier bitches working at Forever 21, not to say she's ugly but BULLSHIT! The L'Oreal commercial is also BULLSHIT! Bitch you are BLACK-AFRICAN AMERICAN! Whatever you want to call it, having a great, great, great, great grandfather of another race doesn't make you mixed and Native American you are not. Shit even Jennifer Lopez on her commercial claimed to be "100% Puerto Rican" and technically that shits not even a race. Yet Bouncy can't even be "just black" as if anything is wrong with that.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 9:47pm.

Beyonce is a beautiful woman naturally, and IMO should have been on the cover before J.Lo, who is just average sans fards.

***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©

Submitted by B.Girl on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 9:13pm.

& "by beauty at every age", they meant "beauty in every size"! Cleverly positioned tag between Anniston & Adele, I like what they did there;)

************************************************
Hold on...I'm searching for a fuck to give..

YESSS! NO MORE HOUSE. buh bye bitch. sorry I work for doctors for a living.

The chocolate cupcakes are like, "shit, I hope she doesn't try to fuck me.

Submitted by Andrei on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 8:27pm.

I vote that People magazine needs to grow some balls and feature real people in real lives who don't use up millions of dollars in their private lives and are still beautiful .. like personality wise and physically. Celebs are all just lamer than lame anymore. I mean, really. At this point, I'd rather read Christopher Walken's personal journals or watch Nic Cage high on drugs for reals than read about Beyonce's super PRed new-mama life.

But, Beyonce is odd.. I find her more appealing without makeup on... so, her natural beauty is surprisingly distracting.

Submitted by C6 on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 7:58pm.

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 6:37pm.

____

Karen Flatts, don't sweat it with the stirrers. Many a rational DL'er have had to remind me at times that it is impossible to get some to look at THEIR OWN posts as they go on the attack of others'. I get what you're saying.

____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse & Houston, 2011) *caprica six was/is here*

Submitted by the_hot_chick on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 7:48pm.

@ Karen Flatts

1. You are a dumbass (just thought I'd get that out of the way first).

2. YOU brought up the TSA.
TSA was not mentioned anywhere in this post or in any comments before you mentioned it.

All this whinny bullshit- "I didn't bring the TSA up as a topic....blah blah blah", is fucking ridiculous, and exposes your inherent stupidity (see item 1).

"What is so hard to understand about the fact that the only way I brought up the TSA was in a TOTALLY UNRELATED comment?"

Unrelated to what? To the topic of Beyonce/People? So what?

"The comment was about Jennifer Hudson, you fucking nitwit. She could have been sticking her tongue out at the fucking Queen of Sheba, and the comment wouldn't be inviting you to talk about that either."

So basically, when you write ignorant bullshit in one of your rambling posts, other people are not permitted to comment on anything specific in your post, unless you invite them to? Is that it?

If you had written, "Jennifer Hudson stuck her tongue out at the Queen of Sheba", and I replied, "So what? Fuck the Queen of Sheba", you think that entitles you to write a fucking book claiming that you didn't bring up the Queen of Sheba, and any comment in response to you mentioning the Queen of Sheba is uninvited and can't be discussed, and calling people "retards", and all this other shit you've gone on and on about?

Then there's the fact that in most of your whine-fests about how you didn't bring up the TSA (you did), you keep mentioning that you "expected" someone to respond about the TSA, or that responses to your TSA comment were "as expected". Which means that you not only brought up the TSA, but you wanted/expected responses.

Since this post isn't about Jennifer Hudson, I guess whoever brought her up would have the right (by your "logic") to say that they didn't bring up J Hud "as a topic", so you weren't "invited" to comment on her....

Or maybe Lisbet 459 should claim that she didn't bring up the Constitution (again, using your "logic").

That would invalidate all your posts, except you are the only one who would seriously try to pull this shit.

You are like beyonce and the kardashians- a silly idiotic attention whore. I know I'm feeding a troll right now, but maybe you'll get this into your head- being a(n attention-)whore is a bad thing.

_____________________________________________________________
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Submitted by FreakGeek on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 7:33pm.

Good lord...Jenn is lookin' ROUGH. That is a laughably awful picture to put on a "most beautiful" cover.

Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 5:13pm.

Submitted by Mr. Bubble on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 5:39pm.
And just when I though that People was going to change its name to Jennifer Aniston Weekly.
-------
People mag is so far up BRAND gelina's ass I don't think they can now jump to Aniston's team. Remember People has paid more than $20 million for pictures of Shiloh and the Twins and agreed to never call them Brangelina again. They have stuck to that deal despite denying they ever made that deal and are now featuring exclusives of the Brand's vacation and how Brad popped the question. Like everyone else they had to pick a team and they paid $20 million to do and say whatever the Brand wants.

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 5:07pm.

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:27pm.

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:13pm

Actually, I didn't bring up the TSA as a topic. I simply stated that she disrespected them-- you brought them into it as a topic of conversation, as expected. We all know the sanctimonious bullshit spouted by people like you, but isn't it a bit much to ask me to disprove YOUR theory? YOU say they are a violation of civil rights, then want me to explain why they aren't? Holy fuck, why not ask people who don't believe in UFO's to explain to those who do why they don't exist?

Point being, YOU claim they are violating civil rights, so YOU have a point to prove, not me. They exist to protect us from those who would harm us, while operating under the constitution. Are they perfect? No, neither are cops, lawyers, doctors, or freshmen at the local community college who just learned about the civil rights movement and count themselves as the next MLK without a clue as to what MLK actually stood for.

=====================

This might be the stupidest comment I've ever read - and I read Celebitchy.

Yes, you brought up the TSA. Part of you whining about Hudson is that she apparently disrespected those poor dears at the TSA. This is a gossip site - it's not off topic to say that I respect Hudson for disrespecting the TSA. After another commenter brought it up.

The TSA is making it compulsory to either go under a full body scanner, or be groped, in order to fly. That is a violation of rights. Also, please quote the part of the Constitution that gives them those rights.

Also, bringing up MLK is moronic. I dislike MLK. I have no idea why you thought it was pertinent.
=====================

"Don't let that hit too close to home for you...I am sure you are more like a sophomore at State."
===========================

What? Wait, what? Ah, I'm feeding a troll, amn't I?
**************************************************

What is so hard to understand about the fact that the only way I brought up the TSA was in a TOTALLY UNRELATED comment? The comment was about Jennifer Hudson, you fucking nitwit. She could have been sticking her tongue out at the fucking Queen of Sheba, and the comment wouldn't be inviting you to talk about that either.

Except of course, first year liberal arts numbfucks like you think that 6 weeks of Humanities 102 makes you an expert on the Constitution. Again, why don't YOU quote the part of the Constitution that says the TSA, AS A WHOLE (as you claim) is unconstitutional. You can't, so you expect others to do the work for you. Typical. I cannot quote something that refutes something you claim to exist, when you CANNOT EVEN PROVE IT EXISTS.

AGAIN...YOU are the one who claims that the TSA as a WHOLE violates ALL civil rights and the Constitution. I no more have to prove they ARE constitutional than I have to prove that my cat was the one who spray painted the neighbors garage door with gang symbols.

And yes...I am a troll. A troll that (if you had two brain cells to rub together) you would know you could click on my user name and see I have been a poster here..hmmmmm...how many years? You are a fucking lightning bolt of pure genius, "amn't" you?

**************************************************

Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt

Submitted by sushi on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:49pm.

She is pretty, but most beautiful woman? Don't think so.

And doesn't she have a new album coming out? Seems way PR move to me.

Submitted by hotpussy on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:48pm.

....I like Bey, yeah she's annoying, but talented.........Nice Michael K, loving the Dionne jokes...Skorpion Show is gonna love this<<<<

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:24pm.

"Most beautiful," I don't know but Beyonce is absolutely gorgeous, with or without makeup.

Submitted by Mr. Bubble on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:09pm.

And just when I though that People was going to change its name to Jennifer Aniston Weekly.

Submitted by CholaMom on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:04pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:10pm.

Submitted by yucko on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:50pm.
Adele is truly gorgeous.

Nope - she looks like every other average-looking chick to me.

Adele is one of the best examples of a celebrity who is only beautiful WITH make up.
================

Great photo! Knowing that Adele only looks good with hair/makeup done to the hilt gives me hope that with a little buff and polish, I'd look fairly decent myself. :D

******************
I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:04pm.

But can we mention that fucken ugly necklace? Did they steal that from King Tut?

Submitted by Dannii on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:00pm.

so many good comments here-very much agree Hotmami!

also-
Submitted by didimao on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 3:56pm.

Why do they call it the Most Beautiful Woman in the world when non-celebrities can't be nominated? Why not just call it the Most Beautiful Celebrity?
-----------------------------------------------

was very much what i came to say before i started reading the comments and got side tracked. no one has seen every woman in the world-celebrity would be more accurate, but those in charge (the illumati? idk) want you to believe that celebs are better than we "average folk" so they want you to believe that celebs beat us in teh beauty stakes too, and *so* unrelated to the fact these celebs also face many a beauty product for us poor average folk to buy.

plus, its like 2012 and we are still focusing on womens looks. every fucking magazine has a "most beautiful woman" list, while i think only 2 mags have those for the men. yeah, we really have progressed!!! *eye roll*

Submitted by CholaMom on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 3:59pm.

"Beauty at every age" is Adele's headline? She's what, 21? Come AWN. Beauty at every "size" perhaps -- but yeah, the world is SO cruel toward the 21 year olds with all their wrinkles and sagging skin -- sooo past their primes. Pfft.

******************
I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez

Submitted by didimao on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:51pm.

Submitted by Athina on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:13am.

"most normal moms would, in fact, mention motherhood making them feel more beautiful."
------------------------------------------------
Bull-fucking-shit.

Pre baby: Hair was constantly blown out and looking magazine perfect. Post baby: Lucky if I wash it.

Pre baby: Size 4 jeans. Post baby: I don't wanna talk about it.

Pre baby: Full face of exquisitely applied make-up every morning. Post baby: Yeah, right.

Pre baby: five inch come-do-me heels pretty much everywhere. Post baby: ballerina flats or running shoes.

I love my son more than life, but come on. This "motherhood makes me me feel so hot, gorgeous and sexy" bullshit has got to stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^^^^Co-fucking sign this! Well, I never wore five inch heels. Plus, I was exhausted all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:40pm.

Submitted by yucko on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:50pm.
Adele is truly gorgeous.

Nope - she looks like every other average-looking chick to me.

Adele is one of the best examples of a celebrity who is only beautiful WITH make up. Another example is Rihanna.

Beyonce, on the other hand, is a hell of a lot prettier when she is not made up like a goddamned drag queen and white-washed.

But I guess people only see what they want to see.

Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:34pm.

They should just call it whoever kisses People's ass the most gets the cover.

Submitted by didimao on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:26pm.

Why do they call it the Most Beautiful Woman in the world when non-celebrities can't be nominated? Why not just call it the Most Beautiful Celebrity? Also I agree why this overrated fake boobed, fake hair, fake everything famewhore?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:21pm.

Submitted by K2 on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:11pm.

WHO DO YOU THINK?

Angelina Jolie!! ...the woman who seems to have it all ...including a new ring! I'm surprised her PR isnt all over this already. The nerve.
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What's funny about K2 is that when People mag actually chose Jolie she thought People mag was the most reputable mag in the world. Now apparently it's just some rag bought off by publicists.

The reality is that Jolie USED TO BE gorgeous. About 10 fucking years ago. Now she's an anorexic chick with no body, a gaunt face and creepy hands, a shell of her former self. Go check out photos from her during the Tomb Raider years. She doesn't look anything like that anymore.

Not to mention she's completely humorless, self-aggrandizing, and has never done one nice thing for anyone without issuing a million fucking press releases about it, not the qualities one finds in a woman who is truly beautiful on the inside and out.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:13pm.

Submitted by yucko on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:50pm.
Beyonce is beautiful, sure, but she has a lot of help. I agree with pohyah that it would be a lot more interesting if the upper tier 'contestants' did shoots without makeup. Although, I'm sure Beyonce would probably squirm in delight at the opportunity to gloat over a tight shot of her face on the magazine in some glowy setting (weave intact, of course, and with photoshop), with a big "world's most beautiful woman - SANS FARDS!" at the side.
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I totally disagree with you there, Beyonce wears a fuck ton of make-up and has fake hair, but on the VERY RARE occasions you see her without make-up she is still gorgeous and actually looks about 10 years younger.

Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:35pm.

You can only serve a purpose to your child if you actually, you know, mother them.

So this cunty, egotistical, narcissist mini-heifer still serves absolutely no purpose.

***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by yucko on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:20pm.

Beyonce is beautiful, sure, but she has a lot of help. I agree with pohyah that it would be a lot more interesting if the upper tier 'contestants' did shoots without makeup. Although, I'm sure Beyonce would probably squirm in delight at the opportunity to gloat over a tight shot of her face on the magazine in some glowy setting (weave intact, of course, and with photoshop), with a big "world's most beautiful woman - SANS FARDS!" at the side.

I agree with whoever mentioned Audrey Tautou and Adele earlier. Adele is truly gorgeous. Except, Adele didn't have some big high-profile pillow baby this year. Oh well.

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Submitted by nunya_bizness on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 10:46am.
You missed this gem, MK:

So who does her daughter most resemble? "She looks like Blue," says Beyoncé, who is back to her pre-pregnancy weight and gearing up for her first post-baby concerts, Memorial Day weekend at the Revel Atlantic City. "She's her own person."

Translation: Jay-Z got some strong genes.
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hehehe

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:09pm.

Submitted by oldpossum on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:27pm.
I like Beyonce. Probably the only Dlister who does.
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I too adore Bey. She can't act for shit, but that creole can werk the dance floor. She has amazing natural beauty. I loved the 'mohogany' shots of her in Dreamgirls.

I truly wish race was never an issue in our society, because women ARE beautiful in all shades, shapes and nationalities. Ick *vomit* I hate getting sentimental, but it's true.

Submitted by BIG BOOTIE CUTIE on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 1:03pm.

@MADGES VADGE

All Creole means is that Beyounce's greatgrand mother or before that was a product of either rape or some form of French colonisation. Just keepin it real. Halle's mother had a relationship with her father, in Beyounce's and most of the Pan African Diaspora's case, the Master had the upper hand.