Levi Johnston Already Hates His Unborn Baby
Levi Johnston's brain is made of dried moose shit and his decision making skills are as broke as the condom he wore during his first time with Bristol, but you'd think he'd try to be considerate when it comes to giving his unborn daughter a name she has to live with until she's old enough to crawl to the courthouse to change it. But nope! Levi is still trashier and dumber than ever. Levi and the trick he knocked up, Sunny Oglesby, tell Inside Edition (via HuffPo) that they have decided to give their daughter the name of a morning shift cocktail waitress at a strip club/gun shop (or the name of the villain's mistress in a low-budget Bond parody starring Tom Selleck). The name they are writing on her birth certificate is:
BREEZE BERETTA JOHNSTON!!!!!
A name that makes you think of Chris Breezy and Robert Blake at the same time is not a name you should give to an innocent child you're supposed to have love for.
Breeze isn't that bad. Yes, it sounds like the name of a Glade scent you'd use to mask your poop fumes, but it also sounds like the name of a member of a 1970s hippie cult commune that bases its teachings on the album Free to be...You and Me. I can deal with that. But BERETTA!? Beretta isn't a family name either. Sunny and Levi say that they are naming her after the gun. A mess. Why didn't they just go all the way with this foolery? Why didn't they name her God Fart Glock or Queefah Rifle?
And Sunny also told Inside Edition the romantic tale of how Breeze Beretta was conceived:
"We were out at the cabin for like, four days, and forgot the birth control."
I guess Breeze Beretta's fucked up name is the least of her problems....
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I'd hit it. I love dumb jocks.
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The man's as gay as a picnic basket.
;) datura
@ beakers bitch
This is his finger tattoo:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gyJr8hMB7bA/SbkgLF0XqJI/AAAAAAAAAkA/GSL67FuGAj...
"Lucinda hid that crap near an ice machine on the same floor before Alex chased her stealin' ass down the hallway and busted his tendon. The cops later arrested Lucinda and charged her with fucking with Alex Trebek." - MK
Submitted by Sams Mom on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:50am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:46am.
♫ keep your eye on the sparrow ♫ who sang the Baretta theme? hey Whamo, could you look that up for me luv? ;)
Pretty sure it was Sammy Davis Jr
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thanx! You do realize that you put Whamo out of a job, right? hehehe
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:46am.
♫ keep your eye on the sparrow ♫ who sang the Baretta theme? hey Whamo, could you look that up for me luv? ;)
Pretty sure it was Sammy Davis Jr
"I am special and I will never be one of you." - Charlie Sheen
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:48am.
LOL! MissJaneDesperate! Hahahaahahhaha.
Ass :(
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:31am.
LMAO at that stupid tattoo... looks like it should read PIRELLI or FIRESTONE with that lettering.
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Lol, YES.
*side eyes MissJaneDesperate*
*tosses fresh batteries*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Shit, Whamo, I can't leave your trifling assholio alone for one minute!!! ROWR!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
♫ keep your eye on the sparrow ♫ who sang the Baretta theme? hey Whamo, could you look that up for me luv? ;)
Submitted by UrethaFranklin on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:29am.
Saying the names of the menbers of your family should not sound like a weather report, "this is Sunny, Breezy, Stormy, moderately Cloudy, etc.."
^^^^^^^^^^
There was a couple I knew named Rainy and Cloudy (not spelled correctly). Don't know if they're still together...their relationship was kinda stormy. hahahahahahahaha ::GONG::
True story.
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:39am.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:36am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:27am.
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Lookieeee here.... our own little WikiWhamo
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I figured someone would goof on me for that lol! :P
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Well, you can lead a dumb ass to water... but you can't beat 'em until they're smart!
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I think.... if you threw M.E. into an NFL locker room she'd be right at home.~~~Starr07 about Melissa Ethridge.... but I like to dream, and OUR M.E. is a hor
Capital-D douche. That kid will need some major brains and guts to escape this whirlpool of hick douchery.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:36am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:27am.
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Lookieeee here.... our own little WikiWhamo
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I figured someone would goof on me for that lol! :P
Submitted by Doll-Parts on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:32am.
I would hit it...using two condoms at once, no mouth-kissing, and a lot of crying afterwards....
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
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LOL! good call on the avie name HOLE kicks ASS!!even if Courtney is a fucking wacko.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:27am.
Beretta isn't a family name either.
Hate to be a dick(no I don't) BUT Beretta is a hundreds year old name going back to the early 1500 and is the name of the gun maker.
The Beretta company was established in 1526,[1] when gunsmith Maestro Bartolomeo Beretta[2] of Gardone Val Trompia (Brescia, Lombardy, Italy) was paid 296 ducats for 185 arquebus barrels by the Arsenal of Venice.[3]
OK I know shut the fuck up Buzz McBuzzkill...just saying:P
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Lookieeee here.... our own little WikiWhamo
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I think.... if you threw M.E. into an NFL locker room she'd be right at home.~~~Starr07 about Melissa Ethridge.... but I like to dream, and OUR M.E. is a hor
Beretta was the name of my great-aunt's parakeet in 1987. Named after the TV show.
Seriously, this baby could have the most beautiful name in the world, and she'd still be stuck with her moron parents. Idiocracy is so upon us.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
you know I don't hate on this dude at all, he's nothing more that a country bumkin that grew up in country bumpkinvile. He got put into the whirlwind fuckstorm that is everything Pallin, they were happy to dress him up for the sake of "oh we made a mistake and had a child out of wedlock but look at us giving it a go" which was COMPLETLY orchestrated by the Pallin camp and when her bid fell thru because she's a fucking whack job all of a sudden he was no good for her daughter. If she were VP right now I fucking Guarantee you these two would still be "together" I don't think he ever tried to be anything but the fishing, huntin beer swiggin down at the local bar, trying to get laid dude he is.
Palin used every PR tool to burn this fucker down when she didn't need him. Fuck her and I hope he at least got to fuck Bristol in the ass a few time before he got fucked over!!
Jesus. I think I need to get laid because that picture is doing things to me.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I hate myself.
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
I would hit it...using two condoms at once, no mouth-kissing, and a lot of crying afterwards....
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:53am.
I bet this dumbass tattooed his name on his arm so he wouldn't forget it. Seriously, what a moron. That name is terrible.
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I fear you're right... but the only way he could read it would be to hold his arm up to a mirror.
Wonder why he keeps introducing himself as LEVI NOTSNHOJ?!
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I think.... if you threw M.E. into an NFL locker room she'd be right at home.~~~Starr07 about Melissa Ethridge.... but I like to dream, and OUR M.E. is a hor
LMAO at that stupid tattoo... looks like it should read PIRELLI or FIRESTONE with that lettering.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
He sure likes to fuck in the woods.
We were at the cabin for like, four hours, and forgot the birth control. Levi figured he already had one kid sooo fuck it, which he did..obvious.
Levi Johnston is Sarah Palin's karmic joke. The more embarrassing he acts, the louder the universe laughs.
Breeze Beretta. Maybe she can get together with Moxie Crimefighter and save Gotham City from the Joker.
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“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
Saying the names of the menbers of your family should not sound like a weather report, "this is Sunny, Breezy, Stormy, moderately Cloudy, etc.."
Submitted by Grandma Yeltsin on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:18am.
Johnston went full retard.
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I just spit water at my screen reading that.
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“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
Beretta isn't a family name either.
Hate to be a dick(no I don't) BUT Beretta is a hundreds year old name going back to the early 1500 and is the name of the gun maker.
The Beretta company was established in 1526,[1] when gunsmith Maestro Bartolomeo Beretta[2] of Gardone Val Trompia (Brescia, Lombardy, Italy) was paid 296 ducats for 185 arquebus barrels by the Arsenal of Venice.[3]
OK I know shut the fuck up Buzz McBuzzkill...just saying:P
Submitted by luvsmekitty on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:15am.
When I think of "Beretta" I think of the super cool teal colored cars with hot pink writing along the sides (if you were lucky!) circa 1991.
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With the sideways doorhandles!
HOT!
at least it's not Fe breeze. and Baretta? really? hahaha! if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
He's cute in a very white trash low-brow kind of way. Actually, that is offensive to decent white trash folks. My apologies.
I'm sorry, but that pic is hot.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
beretta? the only thing i can associate this name with are guns.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Johnston went full retard.
"Lucinda hid that crap near an ice machine on the same floor before Alex chased her stealin' ass down the hallway and busted his tendon. The cops later arrested Lucinda and charged her with fucking with Alex Trebek." - MK
When I think of "Beretta" I think of the super cool teal colored cars with hot pink writing along the sides (if you were lucky!) circa 1991.
DUMB NAME ASSHOLES.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:02am.
Kind of makes J.Simp's baby name look intelligent and well-thought out.
OMG, how stupid do you have to be to make Ms. "Jessica, do you want some buffalo wings? Sorry, I don't eat buffalo" Simpson look smarter?
I'm guessing "Johnston" was his mom's maiden name as well as his dad's last name. ahem.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Gross. Bring me back extra crispy woman. This maggoty little snot is just nasty.
We should have never, ever heard about this douchebag again after Sarah Palin. Damn this new age of media for keeping asswipes like this newsworthy.
If these stupid asses aren't an argument for forced sterilization of stupid asses (I'm looking at you Octomom), I don't know what is.
Kind of makes J.Simp's baby name look intelligent and well-thought out.
I can't even with this piece of shit. I would like to believe that not all citizens of Alaska are just inbred rednecks in parkas and mittens, but, you know, Palin.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
They named their baby girl after a semi-automatic pistol? Dear Lord....
It seems odd or unlucky to "name" your unborn kid anything (esply this name). What if she doesn't look like a breeze when she pops out? Then to announce it, as well? Tempting fate, it is.
At least Levi has the education and job skills to support mother and daughter with ease...
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Who keeps fucking this Donny Osmond mutherfucker?! ew!
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:53am.
I bet this dumbass tattooed his name on his arm so he wouldn't forget it.
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Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
This is another person worthy of being beaten with a claw hammer.
He must wake up every morning and thank God for Senator John Edwards. At least he should. Outside of actual murder, The Breck Girl will be an impossible act to top.
i think levi likes spreading his seed around...
levi johnstone = kfed of alaska, you betcha...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
"Hippie Gun" - um, okay. Maybe they can name their future son Glock Nyne Moonbeam.
As much as I HATE, HATE, HATE Sarah Palin, I do not blame her one bit for completely dismissing this asshat from her brood. He just reeks STUPID.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
"Breeze isn't that bad. Yes, it sounds like the name of a Glade scent you'd use to mask your poop fumes," lolololol
Is that a tattoo on his finger or was his dumb trick dumb enough to marry him? Nice tattoo, douchebag.