Billy Bob Thornton Never Felt Good Enough For Angie Jolie
When Billy Bob Thornton and Angie Jolie stopped grossing all of us out by dry humping each other on the red carpet, the rumor was that their marriage ended because she wanted to start her own child army and he wasn't about it. (Translation: Maddox put the scare into Billy Bob by throwing a signature shank eye that had him reaching for the divorce papers.) But Billy Bob says that the real reason their marriage evaporated into corpse dust is because she kept making him put on a James Haven face mask (aka a veal cutlet with big googly eye stickers on it) before they made out. No. Billy Bob says as Angie's career got bigger so did his insecurities and he started to feel like a creepy, disfigured facemonster hiding in the darkness. That bitch said it, not me. In an interview with Nightline (via NYDN) to promote his memoirs, The Phantom of Arkansas blamed himself for why his fifth marriage didn't make it past year 3:
“I blew it because I didn't think I was good enough for her. She has one way she wanted to live her life and I had another way to live mine and I was just too insecure.
When you’re in a relationship, any two celebrities or whatever, you know, I think that puts on a lot of pressure. When Angie and I got married, during that time, I was more famous than she was to start with and then when she becomes this big thing, it’s hard in these relationships. I did feel like the Phantom of the Opera hiding in the catacombs. People have actually said that I didn’t deserve to be with her. We had a great marriage and I chickened out because I didn’t feel good enough. That’s all that happened. It was no big deal, we never hated each other.”
Billy Bob says that he's friends with Angie and Brad Pitt, and she even gushed out words of praise about him in the foreword for his memoirs.
Every tabloid, gossip blog, third world orphan and certified Brangeloonie should send Billy Bob a thank you basket of copper man wigs for screwing up his marriage. If Billy Bob and Angie stayed together, she might not have done Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which means there might not be any Brangelina, which means the gossip industry would've collapsed years ago, which means some of us would be aimlessly walking around the land looking for something to talk shit about. Billy Bob saved us all! And I wasn't joking about the basket of man wigs, because he needs a few new ones. Just look at the dreadful tortured beast Billy Bob had on his head at a book signing in NYC the other day. That patch of beaver butt hair on his chin doesn't help either. That soul patch looks like something his terrible wig pooped up.
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I'll bet in his book he doesn't write about how he was fired by Willie Nelson after he insulted Canadians via the radio interview with Jian. Contrary to what he says, he did not leave voluntarily. Does he mention that he was booed by Canadians when he tried to explain his side??? Canadians aren't stupid.
they were also too try hard, blood in vials and all that shit. yawn...
thats so try hard, if angie really wanted to prove how edgy she was, she should have worn a necklace with a vial of billy bobs white alfredo sauce, if i aint being too subtle.
I used to think he was ok until I heard this interview...he can be a real dick.
http://www.pajiba.com/trade_news/billy-bob-thornton-worlds-biggest-douch...
He's pretty intelligent i think. And i believe (not sure if he wrote the screen play i think he did?) The movie The Gift with cate blanchett (and kaie holmes pre 'kate' days) was good. Cate blanchett's character was based on billy bob's mom. She is a 'psychic' apparently. Maybe she could have warned him he and angie ho would split!
@Puppy Love- I never saw that video until now. Wow! That dude is the creepiest douche on the planet.
Here it is:
http://www.pajiba.com/trade_news/billy-bob-thornton-worlds-biggest-douch...
He's gross. End of story.
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
I found this vintage pic of her and James Haven. Check out the woman in the background puckering her lips at them (and be sure to zoom in to experience this greatness in its full size!):
http://www.gstatic.com/hostedimg/b1a7159a7971152f_large
Angelina Jolie seems very ambitious....She was into awe and shock and parlayed it into a A list status. I have to admit her climb to fame and fortune was pretty well orchestrated. Billy Bob is talented. He is also a wife beater. He used to batter his one wife ( how many has he had ? ). BBT is okay to see in movies, as is Angelina Jolie. I just can't see those two together. She belongs with that jag off Brad Pitt.
Submitted by Versailles on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:31pm.
John Malcovich, Tommy Lee Jones and Billy Bob Thornton will always be hot.
OMGOMGOMG Tommy Lee Jones. Don't know what it is, but he makes me wobbly-kneed. My sister thinks he's hot, too. Old and hot, WTF? Maybe it's the Southern tough guy thing. I dunno.
On topic: Billy Bob was great in Bad Santa and Sling Blade. Hot? Hmm, I could see that.
I'll never get past the video MK posted here of BBT being a complete and total douche when his "band" was interviewed by some DJ (who is also supposed to be a douche but whatever). BBT is a douchebag wannabe hardass "rocker." Fucking please.
I did like Slingblade, though.
Angelina posturing that she never pays attention to the tabloids/paps on 60 Minutes and BBT pretending his "music" is more important than his (marginal) acting skills leads me to believe they were a good match. Sounds like BBT is trying to suck off some of her extreme fame in order to remain semi-relevant.
OMG FK THESE TWO! DAMN SHIT
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
I can't think of any movies Angie did that are better than Swingblade. Or even as good. Just saying.
He was bigger than her? ....WHEN??!!
I thought they were both mediocre nothings that deserved one another. Creepy vial wearing nymphos.. seemed like a match made in hell.
If she did MAMS while still married to him - she would've cheated on him. While Pitt doesnt cream MY panties -- he's certainly an upgrade from Billy. It's been noted that she cheated on her first husband w/Jenny S. Once a cheat -- always a cheat.
Jot on me on the list of people who thought Angie was more tolerable than she ever was before and after...was when she was with Billy-Bob...Idc, it's like two trashy people together just made them both more tolerable..and I'm sorry, jerk or not, Slingblade is awesome....mmmhmmm
Now she's this fake ass wanna sophicated bitch, which SHE WILL NEVER BE...no matter how anorexic she gets or how many chillrens she tries to adopt to look like a good samartian...give it up. Go back to Billy-Bob...Brad Pitt is a fucking drag anyway. Also, I still don't believe that either one of these boiled bananas are completely 100% faithful to each other...
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
He's looking like Hugo Weaving here.
He looks like he's made of silly putty....it's all over his collar!
By the way, in this picture she looks like a pure white trash crack addict in some small town in New Jersey who stocks shelves at walmart and hangs out at the local bar giving blow jobs to truckers in the restroom to get her next fix. Look at that face: bloated, pasty skin. She looks awful. Amazing what a personal stylist and make up AND photoshop can do.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Hahahahaha....she had one way she wanted ot live her life and he another? Like exactly how wre these two unstable psychos different? Both were into drugs, S &M, golden showers and inflicting pain to reach an orgasm. Jolie was derranged, demented sick fuck (still is) who needed a reason NOT to cut herself (hence adopting Maddox according to a interview i recall) and a total freak carrying vials of blood around her neck, and so was he. End of story. In fact, these two were made for each other until she decided she needed a new victim, so she found Jenn A and Brad boy bitch Pitt.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Remember Billy alluded that fucking Angie was like fucking a couch? BEING fucked by Billy now, must feel like being fucked by a Chiquita banana.
AJ does not have anything interesting to say about anyone/anything. She always goes the easy way out and is generally nice in all her comments. If she simply admitted that she still fucks him... then.. we might have something worth our time.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 4:18pm.
Are you the Phoebe that kinda quit us a few weeks back? If so it's nice to hear from you and I'll keep an eye open for you.. say hello anytime you want:)!
If you're NOT that Phoebe then FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!! I kid I kid:) :P!
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Hello, Whamo - yes, I'm the same one - thanks :)
The real truth probably is she wanted a ton of little kids running around and he did not. He go the better end of the deal in the end.
Oh, Billy Bob. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, you dodged a bullet.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 4:48pm.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:12pm.
Angie looks so different today, because she didn't have that holier than thou, mother Theresa, better than you, I'm Hollywood Fucking Royalty look about her, like she does now. I loathe that pompous, arrogant look she gives these days.
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I've always been sort of undecided about her, but what you said is so true. I LOLd at the part about the special look she gives that says she'll burst into tears.
Maybe it's real, who knows, but she seems to have two personalities. There's just something that sets my phony meter off.
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Two personalities? That's usually a sign of a mental illness. Even on her sanest day, Jolie comes across as a crazy one.Maybe her mental state is what attracts Loons?
UBF would you have joined him in the changing room? lol I used to really like BBT, him being an Arkie boy and all and dispelling the WUR ALL TOOTHLESS SHOE SHUNNING DUMB HICKS Y'ALL stereotype. But I can't with this new "look". Hollywood, you fucking ruin everything.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:12pm.
Angie looks so different today, because she didn't have that holier than thou, mother Theresa, better than you, I'm Hollywood Fucking Royalty look about her, like she does now. I loathe that pompous, arrogant look she gives these days.
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I've always been sort of undecided about her, but what you said is so true. I LOLd at the part about the special look she gives that says she'll burst into tears.
Maybe it's real, who knows, but she seems to have two personalities. There's just something that sets my phony meter off.
Aside from the obvious nose job and lip reduction (her bottom lip used to be fuller), I'm the same age as her and my cheeks were rounder and fuller in my 20s. So I think aging has played a part in her face not looking as full. Also, she's lost some weight since then and that hasn't helped.
I think what has really sucked the life out of Brad and Angelina are those six kids. I can't even imagine the amount of chaos going on in their household 24/7. I'd rip my hair out.
I would. No doubt. He looks kinky as all hell, and i like it.
His drunk ass in Bad Santa was sexy. Not when he peed himself, that wasnt sexy.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Haha Lucy Bad Santa was deliciously awful. You want a sandwich?
I kind of like BB. He's kinky looking.
And he's certainly sexier than that droopy old noodle Pitt.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
Being with Pitt must be akin to watching paint dry on a wind free day.
Well, he's probably right although one could make a case for becoming better rather than using that as a cop out.
Submitted by Phoebe on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:53pm.
Original Angie would've stuck her boob out at the Oscars, not her dried-up chicken leg.
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Are you the Phoebe that kinda quit us a few weeks back? If so it's nice to hear from you and I'll keep an eye open for you.. say hello anytime you want:)!
If you're NOT that Phoebe then FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!! I kid I kid:) :P!
Haha, in his interview on radar, he claims responsibility for their split. SO BILLY BOB ACTUALLY DUMPED ANGIE? Well, well, well.....
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I'm your huckleberry...
Fucking gross all around. Angelina should be thanking her lucky stars that she became one half of the couple that the world masturbates over because if that hadn't happened she would be a washed-up has-been with a pedo looking husband.
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Trailer Trash.
Original Angie would've stuck her boob out at the Oscars, not her dried-up chicken leg.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 2:43pm.
Look at her nose.....bit she hasn't had any nose jobs. Naaaaaaaah
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Agree. Her nose now is totally different.
Brad and Angie are not married.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam
Yep, she had the nerve to sit and bitch about how easy and wonderful her life is and always has been. So she wants something to come and "fuck it up". She's totally channeling AJ, possibly because she knows how far it got AJ professionally.
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I'm your huckleberry...
Dayam. He's sliding right into Mickey Rourke Face territory.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:38pm.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:35pm.
In her recent interview [Kstew] said she wanted to have something come along and fuck up her life.
What a fucking asshole she is for saying that. She'll regret it when she gets her wish.
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Blech. I bet if she's diagnosed with cancer she'll be fist pumping the air over her good fortune.
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“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
I think the best acting Angie has ever done was making the world believe the whole dark sided, crazy girl shit. She came from a good life, got to do whatever she wanted and used that as her schtick to be different and get noticed. I don't believe she's crazy now or ever was. But she went to every extreme to make people believe she was nuts, and it worked. She's a gazillionaire now and married to the least likely person she would ever have allowed you to imagine ....back then. Bitch has mansions, maids and nannies and can finally afford to be the princess she always was, but didn't want you to see. She used a lot of people to sell her schtick....
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I'm your huckleberry...
I have a feeling that Shiloh is going to look just like Original Face Angelina when she grows up. Maybe that's why mummy puts her in such ugly clothes.
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“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
Someone here mentioned an article in The New Yorker "Looking Good: The new boom in celebrity philanthropy, which states that Angie became involved in philanthropy in 2000 as a means to rehab her image. Makes sense and it also explains why she married Brad. Very ambitious and conniving.
Explains the quickie marriage to BBT following the makeout session with her brother.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:35pm.
In her recent interview [Kstew] said she wanted to have something come along and fuck up her life.
What a fucking asshole she is for saying that. She'll regret it when she gets her wish.
Looks like Billy Bob uses the same "hair replacement system" as John Travolta.
If Billy Bob and Angie stayed together, she might not have done Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which means there might not be any Brangelina, which means the gossip industry would've collapsed years ago, which means some of us would be aimlessly walking around the land looking for something to talk shit about.
YAY! So there was ONE good effect of those two getting together: the gossip blogs get traffic!
Sigh, back then she was actually fun to read about. I didn't LIKE her, but she was entertaining. Now it's all about dragging a dozen sprogs around and Saving The World.
And she was still beautiful. Now she looks like the villain in a fairy tale.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:35pm.
And she'll start talking about how she collects grenades or something, and how she got involved in voodoo or something. Anything to make her seem interesting and non-privileged.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.