Monday, May 21st 2012

Carey Hart Says His Wife Did This Better

I didn't watch the Billboard Music Awards last night, because I try to keep my holy Sundays Bieber and Chris Brown-free. And because I was too busy watching (CELEBRITY APPRENTICE SPOILER ALERT, AVERT EYES NOW) Clay Gayken get robbed on Donald Trump's Double Hour of Has-Been Foolery. Jabba the Trump is not only the asshole of all assholes, but he's a total Clay-ophobe too. When Arsenio was named as the winner, I immediately gained 100 pounds, slipped on a pair of mom jeans (paired with a "Clay Shakes My Ovaries" t-shirt made with Puffy Paint) and knocked the 50 fat cats from my lap to take to the Claymate message boards on Yahoo! to declare my outrage over that shit while sharing recipes for the perfect creamed cake stew to drown my feelings with. I became an instant Claymate! Don't worry, I exorcised the Claymate out of me by not spooning with my homemade Gayken doll during the night. I'm good now.

Anyway, so last night I didn't watch Katy Perry sing her new song "Wide Awake" on a set made from leftover pieces and projections from Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight, Tonight" video. But Pink and her husband Carey Hart watched it and he accused Katy of copy + pasting his wife's Grammys performance. When I watched Katy awkwardly swing around up there while trying to sing, I didn't see Pink's performance, but I did see shades of this:


At least Mary Johanson has an excuse for not walking around on the stage, but Katy Perry doesn't! I kept waiting for Denise Richards and a Jesus on wheels to dance across the stage in front of Katy. If only.

Here's Katy wearing Miss Yugoslavia 1984's pageant dress while posing with her grandma on the white carpet.

Posted by: Michael K


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Mani6's picture

I missed Mad Men last night...I'll have to catch the rerun on FX. I didn't recognize Katy with the full mask on.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O69L2mO9y-4&feature=related

skabazzle's picture

Ha! Didn't watch Celeb Apprentice or the Awards last night, I was catching up on Game of Thrones before the new eppy and then Mad Men - LOVE Drop Dead Gorgeous! That still of Mary Johanson was my first avie on here, lol. You betcha, Iris!!

Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!

RandéSleepover's picture

I can see where Katy inherited her rack. (Russell Brand: "Meh. I've seen better.")

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Please: It's "rahnday."

WithinReason...'s picture

MK, it was hilarious to juxtapose the Drop Dead Gorgeous clip with Katy's AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
She did look awkward and stiff, lmao! Pink was very graceful, imo. ;)

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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CheeryBitch's picture

Not even close to Pink's! Pink's was amazing, Imma go youtube it now......

Speaking of singing.... The Apprentice, holy shitballs, Aubrey O'Day sucks! And I REALLY cringed when Debbie Gibson busted out "Shake your Love". It was like some soccer mom drunk and newly divorced at her 20th high school reunion thinking she still got it.

MommytoaLittleMan's picture

This is a cross between Pink's performance and Smashing Pumpkins Tonight video!! What a biter!!

Whatever's picture

Seems like everyone copies everyone.

WinterOwl22's picture

PiNk FTW! Sit the fuck down Katy!

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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!

joanne's picture

Pink was much better. No new ideas in the music world either?

Pink's grammy performance was awesome, plus she can really sing. K.Perry's was a snoozefest of terribleness, plus she can't really sing. What, was that a lullaby, her swingin' around all slow and shit, because it put me to sleep!

First off I co-sign what Foxxy Brown has to say about how KP got so famous.

Secondly and maybe I'm the only one here old enough to remeber, but this piece of shit song uses almost the exact same vocal melody as this: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x362b7_lenny-kravitz-fly-away_music

Fly Away, by Lenny Kravitz

hey babe

MadgesVadge's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 2:27pm.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:13pm.

Until recently the idea of lip synching was considered scandalous.
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That is not even a little bit true. Find any clips of artist performing live all the way back to the 50's (mostly television appearances) and you'll find they almost always lip-synched.

My point is, there are artists that are known for their singing (Adele.) Magnificent voices are certainly beautiful, but there is also something to be said for creative artistry that extends just having a good voice. A great singer who has the good fortune of being a great dancer is still only human. There is no way Chris Brown could sing while doing the kind of dancing that he does. But he's electric to watch. Katy Perry has done plenty of acoustic performances which have showcased her voice (I am aware many people do not like her voice but that's another story.) We're all familiar with her pipes, it's nice to see something more once in a while.

With the exception of vocal phenoms, (Adele)simple vocalists just don't get signed anymore. You need to be a package. All I'm saying.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Foxxy Brown's picture

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 11:42am.

1. like Rihanna for a while she was putting out
a new cd almost every month and a new top 40 single every two weeks so almost impossible to not know who she is

2. i think most of the others who do the same type of performance -- the Britneys, the Pinks, the Agueleras etc. may have been crazy and/or pregnant when she got big so her timing was excellent

3. she showed up just as those stupid Sex in the City bitches were going away and was positioned to fill the "fashion and partying lifestyle for vapid white women" leadership role that they vacated

i think 2+3 got her the kajillion award show appearances off that first stupid "kissed a girl" song

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Fucking Insane's picture

Pink did it better. The whole wet and wild waterworks thing and spraying the whole audience with her ass and vag juices? Hello? EPIC?!

I thought Pink and Carey Hart were also referring to Chris Brown's performance at thee Billboard Awards. Very similar to Pink's performance at the AMA's in 2010 of "Raise Your Glass." Chris even had the damn bandanna tied around his head the same way.

beakers bitch's picture

LOL, I love the Mary Johansen reference, MK. Drop Dead Gorgeous is awesome. I fucking loved Nora Dunn and the other pagent person, don't know her real name, but the one who played Edie's ex husband's wife on AbFab getting drunk on vodka the whole time during rehearsal.

"One suggestion, sweetie, why don't you hike up your skirt a little bit then? NEXT!"

Whamo's picture

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:13pm.

Also, regarding Pink's bull-shit talk, it occurs to me that those who attack artists for lip-syncing are usually the ones who can't dance for shit. When your voice is all you have, you should be singing at church, not on a stage. It takes more than that to entertain a crowd.
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With all due respect Madge I'm a little supprised at this. If a person calls themselves a singer then you should be able to SING live every time. Dancing is nice I suppose but to suggest people that don't lipsynch and dance their ass off are less entertaining or not as talented is IMO WAY OFF. Until recently the idea of lip synching was considered scandalous. The music industry is full of people that can fill a stadium with people that are more than happy to simply let the beauty of a well sung song entertain them. Your suggesting the the measure of talent is a lip syncing dancer...really???

JessicaGiovanna's picture

Can't stand this annoying fake ass bitch.

But it's Montenegro style!

bonghits4jesus's picture

michael k, can you please please please narrate my life or my future reality tv series?

-Anyway, so last night I didn't watch Katy Perry sing her new song "Wide Awake" on a set made from leftover pieces and projections from Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight, Tonight" video.

-Here's Katy wearing Miss Yugoslavia 1984's pageant dress

AGREED.

Katy Perrys smile is really creepy. Never noticed it before. Lose the dark lippy love, makes you look like a clown child killer

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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks

runtoruin's picture

Katy Perry and Pink can both suck it. Peter Murphy was upside down for almost 10 minutes performing Bela Lugosi's Dead in 2005.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5v2bP1okBs&feature=related

toxicsparkles's picture

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:13pm.

When your voice is all you have, you should be singing at church, not on a stage. It takes more than that to entertain a crowd.
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Getting out there and just belting out a song has worked for plenty of artists. Most more credible than a lot of the 'popstars' of today.

I'm guessing the type of crowds that frequent Katy/Rihanna/ concerts need something else to focus on BECAUSE the voice/singing is so weak.

Heroic Cupcake's picture

No need at all to drag actual talent like Smashing Pumpkins into the dialogue about this mess.

And BITCH PLEASE, I don't think I've ever been to a concert where the artist dances. Dancing is NOT required to "entertain" the audience if the act in question has awesome songs, good stage presence, and a fanbase with an emotional connection to music and words that mean something to them. If you have to use shit like bras that launch fireworks and shit as a crutch so people will say, "Oh, she sounded like a fucking dying cat but well, that's OK because it must be SO HARD for her to sing with that neat underwear machine shooting freshly spun cotton candy out of her cunt! And she looked awesome!", you're NOT a legit "artist".

RandéSleepover's picture

While channel-surfing, I passed through C.A. just when Adam Carolla said about the NJ Housewife/Mob Wife (same thing, right?), "She thinks it's a brand of douche." No idea what the ref was, but that was a funny line, and on network TV to boot.

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Please: It's "rahnday."

MadgesVadge's picture

Submitted by vsminimoose on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 12:27pm.
Vocally, she did not sound great, but it must be hard to sing while spinning around on that thing, so at least she tried.

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This is what drives me nuts. People are saying this (above). SHE'S A SINGER!
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She's an ENTERTAINER. Millions of people can sing, not everyone can put on a show. Not defending a career based on voice overdubs, but people need to get over themselves. Seems like artists can't win. If they don't try anything new, they're boring. But when they do, the get shit. That's why you can't give a fuck about what anyone thinks and just do what you want to do.

Also, regarding Pink's bull-shit talk, it occurs to me that those who attack artists for lip-syncing are usually the ones who can't dance for shit. When your voice is all you have, you should be singing at church, not on a stage. It takes more than that to entertain a crowd.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

NDNchief's picture

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

Submitted by theatregeek on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 11:18am.

I LOVE THAT MK KNOWS & J'DORES DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!

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Was that the one where Ellen Barkin had the beer can fused to her hand and just kept refilling it? That was funny.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 12:52pm.
I've never seen Drop Dead Gorgeous.

It's "ok". Nothing worth making a concerted effort for.

rukiddingme's picture

I thought the same thing when I watched this mess last night. Pink did it better though.

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MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 12:52pm.

You need to. Seriously. It's hysterical.

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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

M.E.'s picture

AH! Now I understand the Clay, Arsenio and Donald references.

I don't watch CA.

*skips off*

mahaatma's picture

sinjin

You are SO right... his "home" looked like some over the top trashy douchebag palace. Reminded me of old Ceasars Palace shit. How can anybody live in that gaudy shit? Donald's hair is cutting off circulation to his brain it seems.
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.

M.E.'s picture

I've never seen Drop Dead Gorgeous.

*wanders off*

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by jackie on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 12:39pm.
How is arsenio a misogynist? For calling Aubrey out on her bullshit? If anyone is setting women back it is Aubrey, all those snide remarks about age, talking down to other women but only by using superficial insults about age and looks smh. She was awful and ironically her charity dealt with bullying which is what she did most the time.

I agree with this.

I just didn't care enough to type it out myself.

sinjin's picture

Submitted by mahaatma :
Plus Clay made twice as much money? He should have won, dammit! I have huge respect for him after watching how he carried himself on this show. That guy is a class act.
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The Donald is NOT about class acts though. He's trash w/ money.

On Topic: Pink DID do this better.

How is arsenio a misogynist? For calling Aubrey out on her bullshit? If anyone is setting women back it is Aubrey, all those snide remarks about age, talking down to other women but only by using superficial insults about age and looks smh. She was awful and ironically her charity dealt with bullying which is what she did most the time.

PrettyHateMachine's picture

I watched the shit show that was Celebrity Apprentice all season, only to miss last night. At least I saw the episode with John Rich..that's REALLY the reason that I watched anyway, so I don't care who won. I did like Lisa though.

vsminimoose's picture

Vocally, she did not sound great, but it must be hard to sing while spinning around on that thing, so at least she tried.

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This is what drives me nuts. People are saying this (above). SHE'S A SINGER! so why would she do something to distract herself in such a way that she can't sing worth a lick during a performance??? So basically all she left us with was A. Bad singing B. Awkward and sub-par acrobatics on a silk swing. OK. Instead of doing one of those things nicely she just did both half-assed. How was that a good choice?

Migraine Sally's picture

This one's good too:

My mom gave me this 9 mill for my 13th birthday. Yeah. I'll always remember what she put on the card. "Jesus Loves Winners". That's why I always aim to win.

Good for him. I like the song but Pink does it better.

Mentok the Mind Taker's picture

Drop Dead Gorgeous is in my Top Ten Funniest Movies of All Time.

Are we on Cops again?

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"Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"

Drop Dead Gorgeous = Best movie ever

actually Katy Perry reminds me more of Denise Richards from the movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBKQL6f5sec

Jeanneee's picture

I don't fully understand Katy Perry's appeal. I suspect it's something to do with her big boobs and the fact that it looks like she loves to suck cock. It's certainly not her charisma or singing voice.

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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

Migraine Sally's picture

Favorite Drop Dead Gorgeous quote:

I don't eat shellfish. Mom always says, "Don't ever eat nothin' that can carry its house around with it. Who knows the last time it's been cleaned." She should know.

I effing LOVE that movie!!!!

mahaatma's picture

Lou "show dem my muscles" Ferrigno was pretty damn annoying too... but Aubrey was the worst.
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.