Well Played, Tara Reid
Tara Reid left a yacht party in Cannes the other night and in the old days this sentence would end with "and by 'left' I mean she jumped overboard after mistaking the ocean for a giant bowl of vodka." But it's a new day and it's a new Tara Reid! Tara Reid left the party holding on to the hand of 60-year-old Fawaz Gruosi, the founding president of a fancy jewelry company called de Grisogono. Now everyone (read: HuffPo, a few obscure European papers who still care about Tara Reid and me) is saying that Tara got herself a sugar daddy. To which I say, YAAAASSSSS!
Tara's love life has been pretty bleak as of late. Last year, Tara's 3-second-long fake marriage to some businessman ended after they found out the union was not legal, because the gin bottle that married them was not a registered officiant! Before that, Michael Assman and Tara Reid canceled their wedding plans after he found out that the bulge in her shorts was just saggy skin meat from her botched lipo job and not a fat peen. But now, Tara is finally doing shit right by looking for love in all the rich places. Tara was headed straight for a life of running out of truck stop bars to barf out bottom shelf whisky onto a cigarette can and now she's headed straight for a life of running out of 5-star restaurants to barf out Dom onto the shoes of her chauffeur.
And Fawaz has a case of the Ceiling Eyes, which means he'll probably never get a good look at her open-faced lasagna stomach. Tara did good!
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2,000 barf bags.
It'll never be enough.
He seems to be getting off on something on his fingers??? maybe butthole & fish oil?? hmmmm? I she wearing his jewelry, at least its not a pearl necklace but what the heck!! go TR go!!
That peepaw closely resembles one our regular drunks, hanging around our workplace. It's not a bar.
I guess her herpes have cleared up and she's back on the vitamins. Welcome back Tara! We have missed you!
Id never thought id live to see the day Tara Reid looks better than Lindsay Lohan ... now ive seeing everything.
But what about the blonde? She's holding her hand as much as his...
She is just "window dressing" - He always shows up at these with some young chick.
Methinks he'd be more interested in MK than TR.
Whatevs, I miss the old Tara... Lol at her jumping in the ocean. Tara of old would have downed shots and stripped first! ;p
UGH, he's grossogno! "That's it, take it GROSS... I SAID, TAKE IT!" *dies a little* blech
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by fleawatch on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 10:31pm.
Well, now that she is dating Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat......he needs to understand that green eggs and ham is what she calls her tits.......
Lol!!!
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Eh, I'm rooting for her. Although why, and to do what, I'm not sure.
Well, now that she is dating Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat......he needs to understand that green eggs and ham is what she calls her tits.......
Wow. I'm so glad I have a husband my own age who isn't a billionaire. I would *not* trade anything with this woman. Yikes.
Tara, lock him up before Sophie Monk sees him.
I think they call her type "yacht girls" - http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/05/todays-blind-items-cannes-girl...
She's a good white girl trophy for some old wrinkled nuts with money. But he looks gross and probably wants her to do weird things to his butt hole with other women around and shit. And is he even circumcised? I'm just grossed out thinking about it. But if they go back to the yacht or his suite and just have straight up drunk girl sex then she's doing ok.
*wonders if the other kids called him Grossy Gruosi.*
Then why is she wearing that busted ass necklace that looks like it came from Claire's?
I have no idea how Tara could even afford to go to Cannes, let alone what the fuck she's doing there. Isn't it for working actors with real careers? No offense.
A chick like Tara doesn't have a lot of options so I say, "GET IT DONE, BITCH!" Sadly, the last pics in the series tell me that she's already fucking it up by paying more attention to bottom of a shot glass than that rich, old man peen sitting next to her.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
I would say huckleberry hound here is looking for a threesome and looks like he's found just the gals to do it-make sure he's actually got some cash first Tara before you reveal those wonky tits of yours but yeah-I agree MK-at least she's headed in the right direction....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
So gross on so many levels!
He kinda looks like Zaza's, Prince Von Ault(sp)...
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...the end
Its well known ( or nor so well known) that a lot of these Hollywood young ladies are "escorts" during their down time. For someone like Tara Reid that makes it a permanent job.
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Exactly. That was the first thought that came to mind when I read about Kim K being in Dubai for "business". I was like, yeah right, she's being paid to fuck some old ass billionaire, who the hell does Pimp Mama think she's fooling? Lindsay Lohan also reportedly fucks for money.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:04pm.
As Mr. Wolf said in "Pulp Fiction", "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."
Reid is at a party in Cannes with this old goat. They aren't even officially dating, let alone engaged or married.
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I was thinking the exact same thing. . . But, I thought it prudent to peruse the comments for twinsy thinking.
Why are y'all whorz caring about a drunk ho ESCORTING?
Also her southern daddy must be so proud. I remember watching a segment of her reality show where her pops was gonna kick some ass on anybody that besmirched his daughters "honor". Delusional much? Not too much or much too much?
It must be nice to never have to actually work a day in your life.
That's how beat you look at 60 when your life revolves around yacht parties.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Its well known ( or nor so well known) that a lot of these Hollywood young ladies are "escorts" during their down time. For someone like Tara Reid that makes it a permanent job.
Are we sure this isn't incest? Daddy looks really happy here.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Good ole Tara. I miss her.
I miss her like a scraggly ole doormat you take for granted but once it's gone AWOL you will miss it. Your door just doesn't feel right without it.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
I'm still shivering from imagining her "open-faced lasagne" stomach! Thanks MK!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
When I was a wee lass, I remember my bf saying if he was a woman, he'd be a whore till he found some old rich man to marry and pay for it all. I was shocked because you know, we have morals and shit.
In my next life, that's what I'm doing. fck it.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:40pm.
He looks like a villain in a James Bond movie...
THIS!
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Motor Yacht Lady Joy
Thumbnail 8. I'm scared to guess why 80-year-old Fawaz is smelling his finger.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Make it work Tara and show them how it's done. I think she could be had for...not too much. She looks good though.
Submitted by fleawatch on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:05pm.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:51pm.
According to Tara's camp, she is 5'5, which means she's probably more like 5'3. As a girl of 5'6, I am often the Amazon among my friends, so maybe the orange lady is not so behemoth?
Did you catch the photo that shows her size 27 feet?
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Damn. I was too mesmerized by her beauty to notice that, OR the fringe on her dress. The defense rests.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Giant bowl of vodka.... bwaaaaaaaaahahahah!!
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:59pm.
"Seems the spawn is still fermenting."
... and smoking and tanning and itching and scratching and crying out for in utero valtrex
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:22pm.
Dang. It's come to this? When you have to fuck Huckleberry Hound face to finance your bar tab etc. you know your life truly sucketh.
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Hello Huck!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoaxvehimA0
No, she's definitely NOT a hooker. Definitely not.
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For the love of money
A woman will sell her precious body
For a small piece of paper it carries a lot of weight
Call it lean, mean, mean green
Hope Tara doesnt effe this up!
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:12pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:08pm.
My pleasure. It is a classic, modern way to say "Don't count your chickens until they've hatched!" ;)
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In Canada we have a saying "don't count your beavers till you've banged em"
Well...it's not REALLY a saying but it SHOULD be:)
Dang. It's come to this? When you have to fuck Huckleberry Hound face to finance your bar tab etc. you know your life truly sucketh.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:04pm.
As Mr. Wolf said in "Pulp Fiction", "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."
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Aww..classic line from an epic movie. :)
*tears of nostalgia*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
I can't even imagine ( yes, I can) what sort of disgusting perversions old girl is having to perform in order to get paid these days. Clearly,her brains and her looks are bad news and she's s little "old" for the line of work she's in (no disrespect to the Fokkens). The term "porta potty" springs to mind...
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:08pm.
My pleasure. It is a classic, modern way to say "Don't count your chickens until they've hatched!" ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
It's not like she can do better.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:04pm.
As Mr. Wolf said in "Pulp Fiction", "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."
I used to say that quote all the time and then I stopped for some reason...thanks for reminding me to bring that one back into my repertoire :D
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:51pm.
According to Tara's camp, she is 5'5, which means she's probably more like 5'3. As a girl of 5'6, I am often the Amazon among my friends, so maybe the orange lady is not so behemoth?
Did you catch the photo that shows her size 27 feet?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:56pm.
Also, I think she was recruited to do a threesome with pepaw and the trick in the orange dress who'se holding hands with her.
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You just KNOW this Fawaz dude was bouncing diamonds off orangey porangey and Tara's shaved Monkey parts while they were tonguin and groovin each other, NO DOUBT!
Edit: this was actually to answer your comment Hekki:)