The Japanese Are Taking "Eat A Dick, Bitch" Way Too Seriously
You might want to hit pause on that Memorial Day Weekend hot dog before reading this. You've been warned.
France 24 posted this story about a Japanese artist who....brace yourself, Bridget...removed, cooked, and served his genitals to five people in Tokyo. Lest you think this was some sort of super-freaky serial killer incident, think again. These people were willingly dining on his hog. This brings every eating dick-related insult to the forefront and makes them flee in terror. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
Mao Sugiyama had his junk redacted by surgeons and kept everything on ice for two months. He then organized a May 13th dinner at an events hall. The five extreme foodies, who paid the equivalent of $250 American dollars to feast on a portion of Sugiyama's set, were served a "seasoned and braised" dick entree garnished with potatoes and vegetables. I'm alternately cradling my package protectively and looking for something wholesome to watch on YouTube after finishing this shit.
I know the main ghastly here is the fact that a guy removed his dick and let five people eat it. But I'm a little shocked at how cheap that was. If you are looking to eat a dick, you are probably really looking to do it. That isn't just a whim you have one day. He probably could have charged those cannibal freaks $500 a bitch for the privilege of his tubesteak.
Sugiyama considers himself asexual (sure is now), and says that he did this to raise the public awareness of "sexual minorities, x-gender, asexual people." He's gonna write a book. The police say that Sugiyama didn't break any laws and no charges will be filed.
Some dumb motherfucker asked Sugiyama if he would be holding any more cock-eating events (sit down, John Travolta, they were being literal). Crazy Mao declined. Oh good, I don't have to fly to Japan to taser his insane ass now.
"I receive questions from some women and men... asking 'Will there be a next time? Please host it again.' But there is only one set of male organ," he tweeted on May 16.
"Unfortunately, I have no plan for the next time."
I'm never eating hot dogs, knockworst, bratwurst, or fingerling potatoes ever again.
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J Harvey rocks.
IDK maybe the fact that the world is sick as hell has made me jaded but for me the REAL travesty is that these fools paid $250 for some 2 month old frozen dick. I mean, come on. If you're going to be involved in fuckery and shenanigans of THAT magnitude and at those prices the peen needs at least have the decency to be fresh. *shrugs*
I prefer to eat my penises the way Koreans eat live octopus. You know. Alive. http://youtu.be/oNy8MUPOAtQ
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
loopy, you and EVERYONE want to throw up after this one! People are f'd up! *barfs*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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It probably couldn't feed very many people if you know what I mean and I think you do.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
..."I have to plans for the next time"
WTF?! How many dicks does this ho HAVE?
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 6:41am.
OMG reading this makes me want to throw up.
Its like that Hong Kong movie I watched called Dumpling starring Bai Ling.
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that movie is awesome!
Oh sweet fuck.
The parsley is not helping this situation.
http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/228605/slide_228605_1019053_fre...
Submitted by misslainey on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 12:13am.
I'm too lazy too see if it's already been posted, but here's a pic of the blue ball special:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-serv...
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Holy fuck. Just. Fuck.
*faints*
I agree, asian wienner is quite small. Definitly not enough for 5 guests!
I have some questions;
It is said that the guy who had his doo-dah chopped off is "asexual". But you still need a weenus to pee! Penii serve multiple functions! Why would a doctor agree to do this?
What about the hair? Did someone tweeze or otherwise depilate the frank and beans (well, I mean just the beans) before or after the surgery?
*barfs again*
Wow guys - thanks for mentioning 'The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover.' Loved that flick.
Mel-Tang is back!? So nice.
Dickmatized much?
And yes, sometimes I think humanity would be best decimated.
Submitted by bookworm on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:47pm.
I think this planet & the animals on it would be so much better off if the entire human race was wiped out.
This.
OMG reading this makes me want to throw up.
Its like that Hong Kong movie I watched called Dumpling starring Bai Ling.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:02pm.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:54pm.
Oh...and this story totally reminded me of a great movie I saw long ago called 'The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover.' I will never forget it.
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I remember that, same with Delicatessen...
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Also Eating Raoul from 1982: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3N5l-URMJw (but that was a comedy)
The Japanese are a bit strange. When my Dad went there on business meetings, they would ask guests to pick fish from a bowl and swallow them whole. So my Dad did this to be polite and then went to the toilet to barf. True story.
Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 5:39pm.
I know we hear lots of queer things about behaviour in Japan, but trust...I am neighbours and close with many people from Japan and they're seriously not that strange. Usually neat, but not strange.
No, they're stealth pervs: seemingly all proper till after dark when they've had strong drink. Their freaky kinkiness leaves the US, Germany, Thailand, etc. in the dust.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I'm surprised they could feed 5 people on an average Japanese weener. Maybe it was a cut roll?
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Frozen? Fuck that. If I'm going to eat someone's cock it better be FRESH.
I'm too lazy too see if it's already been posted, but here's a pic of the blue ball special:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-serv...
And this type of thing (among many) is why I fucking hate the human race. We are fucked up! Just when you think people couldn't be more depraved or sick some degenerate comes along and proves you wrong. Who the FUCK would want to mutilate themselves in this way? And who the fuckity fuck would want to eat someones genitals? What is wrong with people!
Sometimes I think this planet & the animals on it would be so much better off if the entire human race was wiped out.
A Japanese artist named Bridget removed cooked, and served his genitals to five people in Tokyo
hahaha..This should be on the sun when I check out at foodtown
Submitted by big balls on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:29pm.
great!!!
so what the fuck did it taste like?
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Tastes like Teriyaki chicken.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:22pm.
I guess that makes them wad gobblers by proxy.
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Woah, woah. Let's leave gobblers out of this...
great!!!
so what the fuck did it taste like?
and most importantly, I ask, what did he do with his GONADS?? and what does it taste like??
Seems incredibly gross and I'm waiting for the vigilant citizen to tell me what it means.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:54pm.
Oh...and this story totally reminded me of a great movie I saw long ago called 'The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover.' I will never forget it.
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I remember that, same with Delicatessen...
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Of course the Japanese version of "Hostel" would get screwed up in translation.
Ding dang dong.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
The Japanese are endlessly fascinating to me.
I am projectile vomiting right now. And this might go on all weekend...so much for one last binge before my diet. *huah*
People make me sick
http://poetry.rotten.com/pan-asian-kink/index8.html
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Fuji Mountain Oysters a little gamier than the Rocky Mountain variety
Oh...and this story totally reminded me of a great movie I saw long ago called 'The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover.' I will never forget it.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I want to know who the dumbass was that asked if he was going to do this again.
How many people can keep regenerating penis and balls for fancy buffets????
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Big deal, Angie did this to Brad a long time ago and he seems physically fine, thankyouverymuch!
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
So, divided amongs x amount of people, how thin were the dick meat slices? I mean are we talkin' Ms. Patrick Campbell size meat sliced duck breast pieces or are we talking some tiny meat Carpaccio (sp?) type pieces cuz a bitch need to know how she gonna adjust her palate before she engage in some Jeffrey Dahmer dick meat fuckery like this...I'm just sayin'...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:00pm.
@ agirl
I read that as "a meat and two VAG". Time to lay off the booze. Lol!!
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Hold the vag on mine... and the meat. But bring on the Everclear!
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.
That's some Jeffrey Dahmer shit.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Asparagus and grape tomatoes tablescape w a Bloody Mary drink?
JTROS
You could teach Sandra a thing or two ! LOL!
What else but a banana tablescape?
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.
@ agirl
I read that as "a meat and two VAG". Time to lay off the booze. Lol!!
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 7:19pm.
Ok, now I need to know what KIND of potatoes and vegetables where served with La Dick and Balls. What was desert? What kind of tablescape was there?
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LOL meat and two veg? HAHAHAHAHA
I made a funny!
*shows self to the door*
I was thinking mini-bananas and strawberries (or cherries) for a tropical tablescape? Maybe with a nice strawberry banana alcoholic drink w a penis straw (like a classy bachelorette party)?
This is the same country with violent porn comics, used panty vending machines, and a celebrity cannibal.
I love Japan, but it is one fucked up country.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
@ mahaatma
What would Sandra Lee do for a tablescape & accompanying drink??
Sauteed hysterectomy...mmmm...