One For The Gold Digger Hall Of Fame

Greg Allman of The Allman Brothers Band has been married 6 times, including one time to Cher, but now he can say with a full (and not at all vaginamatized) heart that he has found true, organic love with a girl who probably wasn't even born yet when a white hair first sprouted out of his crotch bush. 64-year-old Greg went on Piers Morgan's show on Tuesday night and introduced his child bride, 24-year-old Shannon Williams to the world. You might be thinking that this is a bad move for Greg's checking account, but I have to disagree with your ass (and not only because I'm always on Team #getmoneybitch). This is a smart move! In one year, Greg and Shannon can save money at restaurants by ordering from the seniors AND children's menu. Get that discount, bitches!

Greg also told Piers that he doesn't consider Shannon as his 7th wife, he considers her his first wife. Yes, it's like that.

"That's not what she's becoming. She's becoming wife number one. I don't have a wife. Haven't had one for years.

And, added The Allman Brothers Band founding member, "This time, I am really in love."

Can't you feel the love in the air? Or maybe that breeze is from Anna Nicole Smith slow clapping for Shannon up in heaven.

Posted by: Michael K

•

#getmoneybitch • Gold Diggers

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Submitted by dlaugher on Sun, 05/27/2012 - 10:46am.

I like his music, but he gives off a weird vibe.

This article has EW written all over it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light

Submitted by CeeCee on Sun, 05/27/2012 - 10:01am.

Jenny Lee Arness, another of his exes, also committed suicide when he left her for Cher. Not a good track record there.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 11:36pm.

Didnt Savannah blow her head off because she broke her nose in a car accident?

Submitted by The Real Mimi on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 10:16pm.

I remember watching a VH-1 special about Savannah, the porn star. Back in the 1980's, she was a teen, about 15 years old, and she was dating Greg Allman. He took her on tour with him, then dumped her.
If he's 64 now, he was in his late 30's, early 40's then.
Yeah, he likes them young! Eeeks! LOL

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 7:11pm.

Submitted by harperharper on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 7:22pm.

The guy who wrote and sings this song can do no wrong.

Agree. Such a lovely song. I don't know about his alimony and other debts, but I bet he and the band (much reconfigured) still do well with royalties and touring. Some women are drawn to fame; Allman has access to any studio or music venue anywhere.

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 4:32pm.

Is this the same Allman that was in the movie Rush w/Jason Patrick??!!

Just goes to show: YOU DON'T EVER GET HIGH ON YOUR OWN SUPPLY!!!

============
YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks

Submitted by Green Is Good on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 1:26pm.

I suppose it would be the height of foolishness to ask if this jackass got a PRE-NUP.

Submitted by beachpeach on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 12:44pm.

Definitely NOT condoning this (I'm a few years older than her, and ewwwww!), but I don't think the Allman Brothers are as dead and out of it as some of you think. I'm from the south, and they're rock royalty down there. My younger brothers and their friends have seen no less than 15-20 shows where the Allman Brothers (or members of the band) have played. There's a huge population of people that are into jam bands (Phil Lesh & Friends, Phish, Widespread Panic, etc), and the Allman Brothers often play with these people. They may not be radio friendly any more, but their popularity has not died out at ALL where I'm from. If this girl is from "my neck of the woods", as we say, she might actually idolize him. Strange (and gross), but true.

Submitted by sybil on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 10:43am.

If she's a smart girl, she will replace his Viagra with Ambien!! I wouldn't let his Hepatitis C weiner anywhere near me! Nasty!!

Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 9:42am.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:05pm.

Aw, I lurves me a May-Deadcember romance...GOLD DIGGA HALL OF FAME for this one...Some DListed whore crown this trick already, I needa pee and get some more wine up in here.

===========

OMG, Tigerlilly ♥ ♥ ♥

*stirs zookeeper's entrails stew*

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 9:39am.

Does he have much money left? How much child support, alimony, legal fees, medical fees (new liver and all), does this guy pay out? I'm sure Elijah Blue has some great opinions on all of this. Read his book, which was okay.He sure liked his heroin. Typically chauvanistic, but whatevs. Good luck with that.

Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 8:04am.

*puff* *hold* *exhale* Bonjour joe shmoe!

Moneygrabber! *courtesy of Fitz&The Tantrums*

Both pics of her radiate cunning and "gleed": greedy glee.

*puff*

Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 6:57am.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 5:39am.

We hate fish!
*********

*shock face*

************

Submitted by Craigypants on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 4:57am.

This guy should be a visual aid for an anti drugs campaign. He can barely string a sentence together.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 4:09am.

We hate fish!

Submitted by bigorexia on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 3:28am.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:38pm.

Old people should only fuck (if they must) other old people. Anything less shows they haven't grown up, or into their own dignity.

---------------------------------------------

Haha. The thing I think we don't realise until we get to that age is:

1. Old people don't feel old.
2. Old people still get horny.
3. Old people still find young people attractive.
4. There will always be people willing to ride an old dick for some cash.

My Dad is 72 and says that the "perfect formula for determining the perfect age of a man's partner is dividing his age by two and adding 7". Gross, I know. But this is how old people today think. And we might not be any different in a few decades.

Submitted by bigorexia on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 3:19am.

Being his skank can't be THAT bad. I mean, if it takes him that long to form a sentence, imagine how long it takes for him to get it up! Clearly she doesn't have to put out too often, which makes it much easier to repress the few times she does have to suck his wrinkly OAP balls.

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 2:25am.

I don't care if you're gay, straight, black, white, short, tall or anything in between. If you've been married and divorced six times by your mid-sixties, YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT IT. Stop trying. Even Liz Taylor knew when to give up.

Submitted by Tyroan on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:10pm.

If gay marriage had been legalized years ago, then Melissa Etheridge would be on at least Wife 4 by now. Possibly 5.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by LadyCaca on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 1:51am.

What a dumb fuck!

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:43pm.

He's a musical genius and not well, so if having a child bride makes him enjoy life a bit, then I say have at it.

Dreams

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:20pm.

Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:27pm.

DJ- his brother Duane and Berry Oakley were killed in separate motorcyle crashes. Lynard Skynnard was the plane crash. Also, I'm sorry, but he burned A LOT of plebes (i.e. roadies, hanger-ons) with the drug business. The 'CIA forced him to do it' line is just ridiculous.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.

Submitted by paulapoo on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:14pm.

Shannon's totally gonna be a "Bitch Please" line drawing on memecenter in 3..2..1..

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:11pm.

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:28pm.

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:18pm.

I think it does look like you described it. My great-grandmother had a stroke when I was small and it affected her that way.

Some others are talking about his health too, but I don't think his health would affect their relationship as much as it would any of ours. They can hire all the help they need. It will turn out to be another one of those nurse-groping lawsuits. Everybody is going to get paid before they let loose of him.

The thing about getting old like that is that your family and your doctor can try to keep you locked up and doped up like Salvador Dali, Mickey Rooney, and lots of other

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:09pm.

Lmao @ Cher smelling like a mermaid! I think he confused her with his 3rd wife, Daryll Hannah. :)

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:08pm.

Old people should only fuck (if they must) other old people. Anything less shows they haven't grown up, or into their own dignity.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by Mani6 on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:00pm.

Yes it's Gregg with an extra g. A total waste of a g, if you ask me.

Gregg can do anything he wants in my book.

"I been run down
Lord, I been lied to
And I don't know why
I let that mean woman make out a fool
She took all my money
Wrecked my new car
Now she's with one of my good-time buddies,
Drinkin' in some cross-town bar"

Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 9:30pm.

Courtney and Doug are still worse. These two are adults, they must be getting something out of it. Come on, he's been married 6 times, he knows the drill, if she doesn't, she soon will. OR maybe he's just a romantic like Madge (was it her that said that? hahaha)

Not placing bets on how long it lasts... ;)

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by literarylioness on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 9:14pm.

What does it matter? He probably won't even remember her name soon. Wonder how long she will last when she has to start changing his diapers with their kids'? 'Cause you know she is going to want at least one to seal the deal. Gotta give Elija Blue a little brother or sister.

Tigerlily is back! Too cool!

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 9:05pm.

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:22pm.

Woah, woah, woah. They may not be the Beatles but they most certainly have hit singles. They are a grammy award winning band that is in the rock and roll hall of fame!!!!!

**************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

Submitted by Gobbler on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 9:04pm.

Hmmm, regarding May-December romances, when I was 16 I had a huge HUGE crush on my 46 yr old English teacher. Teachers don't make a lot of money, jussayin. OK, maybe I have daddy issues.

AND OMG TIGERLILY!!!

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:58pm.

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:18pm.

Has he had a stroke or is his face pulled tighter on the right side?
____________________________
My dad had a large stroke followed by a smaller stroke and they've caused the right side of his face to droop. The same thing might have happened to Gregg - it's not that the right side of his face is pulled tighter, it's that the left side is drooping, possibly due to a stroke. Having a stroke might also have spurred his search for a young wife/caretaker. What these older idiots don't realize is that the only ones who are going to change their diaper, check their breathing in the middle of the night or rush over to their house when they haven't checked in for 24 hours are their loved ones who have been around for years. The recent acquisitions run like hell when things start getting messy.

___________________________
If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:52pm.

He should be really rich. The Allman Brothers don't have hit singles but they have been a very popular touring band with a cult like the Grateful Dead.

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:48pm.

Has he had a stroke or is his face pulled tighter on the right side?

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Tyroan on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:40pm.

A 40-year age difference, and his seventh wife.

Where are the right-wing "sanctity of marriage" loons on this one?

Submitted by Hockey fan on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:31pm.

Submitted by remedy_ on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 9:54pm.

I'm more intrigued by his "Cher smells like a mermaid" quote - is that a diss or a compliment?

^^^^^^^^
Well, at his advanced age, all he remembers of Cher is glitter and the smell of fish, so this is a logical conclusion...for him.

Submitted by Hockey fan on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:29pm.

What a fucking old fool. Can't wait till he realizes she's not his home health nurse and won't wipe his ass or help him to the toilet.
Stupid old man.

Submitted by remedy_ on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:24pm.

she looks like a blond Olivia Wilde to me.

this whole "soprise! tell us about your child bride!" interview setup is so fake - they had to get her consent to be filmed for the show, so both the old guy & she knew that the host would ask those exact questions. stop squirming, old man, you agreed to answer those questions before the interview, so don't act like the host is imposing on your privacy all of a sudden.

I'm more intrigued by his "Cher smells like a mermaid" quote - is that a diss or a compliment?

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 8:21pm.

I could see myself dating someone older, shit, even someone in their 60`s. But then again, i m heading towards 40 myself. What i dont get is the getting married 7 times. It`s once for me and if that doesnt work out, I will stay happily ring-free for the rest of my life.

Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11