Don't Fuck With The Lesbeaver
Someone's balls finally dropped! And all it took was getting his Target junior miss stripey sock being exposed! Justin Bieber is supposedly wanted for assault. It's like you just read Lindsay Lohan is wanted for her acting abilities! A member of the paparazzi has learned that you don't get in front of Hilary Swank's car without paying the price. That price being hearing damage from an angry falsetto voice squeaking at you, and possibly your t-shirt being untucked after a gangly youth "came at you, bro."
TMZ sez that Justin was with his abuser Selena Gomez at a mall in Calabasa, CA when a photog wouldn't move aside from in front of his car. Bieber puffed up his...gaucho pants with the paisley bandana accents(?)...exited his car and put the Heisman on that ho. The pap called the po-po, but Bonnie and Clyde 2012 (Mary Lay Latourneu and Villi Edition) had already fled the scene.
The "victim" was unable to use his camera anymore due to chest pains (and the dollar signs obscuring his eyes) so he was taken to a hospital, treated and released. The cops are calling it a misdemeanor battery and looking to question Bieber. You know he's walking around the kitchen all shaky, regaling his bodyguards and family with the story of how he beat that guy's ass, while Selena frowns and wonders why she's hanging around with his androgyny when she could be having a train run on her by One Direction. Way manlier.
Witnesses at the scene say that a guy claiming he was an attorney came out of the crowd after Bieber left, and urged the injured party to file a complaint and ride in an ambulance because there could be cash involved. Always trust legal counsel whose client base consists of people he met on curbs.
This coud be some Legend Of Billie Jean shit. Go on the run, Bieber. You've got her haircut already.
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bieber actually comes out as more of a man than the "photographer"/stalker. dude actually looks scared of justin bieber. it doesn't get much more pathetic than that.
@Deb
In other pics 'see link 'the lining of the 'pants' is of dollar bills! I guess you can pull then out so it looks like your pockets are overflowing with cash!?
Looks like something from Pharrell's 'Billionaire Boys club' brand or something! >.<
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2150862/Justin-Bieber-batte...
I am sorry, but I'm a grown ass woman and if Justin Bieber whopped my ass I wouldn't let the world know. That little bitch weighs 80 lbs, my 7 year old nephew could kick his ass. With that said, dude is trying to get paid.
not to side with Bieber, but those paps are fucking assholes. Anything for a damn picture.
omg reading this cracked my shit up. so funny.
He needs to do a scowling dance-off like in "Beat It."
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I have absolutely zero fucking patience... you stand in front of me, blocking my car, and I'm going to run your dumbass over. It's pretty simple.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I like how he gingerly hovers his foot above the ground so as not to soil his striped sock.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 8:36am.
I have ZERO sympathy for the celebrities who call paparazzi to come and take staged pictures of them on the beach in bikinis one week, and the next week they are crying about privacy.
Britney Spears, for instance, has enough money to be able to stay the fuck out of the public eye if she wanted; but privacy won't help sell her shitty songs now will it?
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I don't really understand your logic. How will money give her privacy?
but did he throw his shoe at the man? -excuse if it's already been said i cannot read right now-or is there a really clever sole under that stocking i am so confused
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Aww EC, how neat. I'm right there with you about what assholes those paps can be. We're going to end up with a "Princess Diana" incident here before they do anything here unfortunately. I can see it coming. =(
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
I met the Biebs when he was in FL. He was nice, respectful and had manners while I did my job and had to talk to him. I know they sign up for this attention being celebrities; but really, when is enough, enough? I literally watched the paps trying to go out onto the water on jetski's to track him down.
I don't have anything bad to say about this kid. I like his new song and I swear I had no idea it was him until the fifth time I heard it. I thought it was Justin Timberlake.
On TMZ they have an update where the witnesses said the pap was parked, *blocking* JB from being able to leave. All so he would have a "captive" (sorry!) subject to shoot pic after pic of. !!!! ??? That's pretty fucked up to me.
These people *are* celebrities, I get that. And this attention from fans and "photographers" is something they knew about before signing up for the job. But, they are human beings first, and with that comes a little privacy and respect. Why can't they get a few pics and GTFA?? And waiting outside of celebs childrens schools and daycares?? That's too far if you ask me.
Didn't the "Governator" put a pap/distance law out several years ago!!? Something like they had to stay back like 100 ft or something like that? Idk....can't remember what that was all about.
Personally, my own opinion on this is, if they're not on the red carpet they should be off limits. Particularly if they are with their families and have children with them. Red carpet or other big, spectacular events are "celebrity" events and basically they are there because of those who pay to see their movies/concerts or buy their cd's. That's why they are celebrities, for what they do. (except for the Lardasshians, we know none of them do shit for all that ungodly amt of $$$ their asses get). Otherwise, any time when they're just out and about running errands, seeing a movie, etc. then I think they should be left alone.
But.......that's just me. =o/
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
I imagine the guy's injuries were the equivalent of a drive-by-shouting. I do see a T-shirt out of this in the next week: I WAS SLAPPED BY JUSTIN BIEBER & I LIKED IT!
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
What's the deal with the shoeless Biebs? Does he take off his shoes to fight like the angry bitches on Springer? Such a bad-ass.
I like Bieber's new song. "if I was your boyfriend".
I'm so sorry :(
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Dark-sided!
Is that a an old hand-tatted doily on the kid's left knee? ('cause the right knee has a big zipper)
I demand an ANSWER!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Deb it's his inside out zippered pocket!
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That sock foot looks 'shopped.
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 2:08pm.
'Member when the news used to report actual news like bombings in Lebanon or in Ireland?
And who cares about Syria when Kim Kardasshole just got her fat cunt waxed
The thought of Bieber assaulting ANYone didn't have me laughing half as much as J. Harvey's HILARIOUS write-up of this non-incident!! OMG, those first 2 sentences had me laughing out loud and the rest did the same. Thanks, J. Harvey...I needed that.
So I'm with the guys watching a championship boxing match, and someone jokes that one of the guys in a boxer's entourage, carrying a championship belt, looks like the lesbeaver. Well, that's too fucking ridiculous and we shrug it off, but as we see more and more footage, we see this is indeed the case. Lesbeaver is a ball-sweat towler for a boxing champion.
Doubtless this is where he got motivated to bitch slap a pap.
All I can say is they should de-criminalize physically attacking paps, and let the chips fall where they may.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 2:05pm.
Is Calabasas pap central? Thought it was a smallish town past the big city?
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Calabasas is where the Kardashians are (incl. one of their "Dash" stores). There are famewhores to be found there.
Justin Bieber has super mind powers, he can kill with a tiny thought. That guy is still alive, this story must be false.
I find it hard to believe that this little piss ant could fuck anybody up that bad. Whats the worst thing the hairless little spider monkey could do?
I also find myself thinking back to my teenage years and remembering the dudes we squealed over. Leo, Timberlake, Enrique Iglesias, etc. Maybe they weren't super manly specimens of masculinity, but I like to think they were a HELL of a sight better than this twerp.
WTF is wrong with girls today?
I'll bet Beaver could beat the crap out of the Wiggles.
Submitted by Zambonie on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:49pm.
Hey Zeus!
Just how lame do you have to be to go to the hospital after an altercation with Justin Bieber?
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It's called MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Zeus!
Just how lame do you have to be to go to the hospital after an altercation with Justin Bieber?
Where's his other eff'ing shoe?
Why is one pocket turned inside out?
Is this some lame way that twinks display how jumpin bad they are?
This poof is proof that that most of a whole generation of girls are lesbians and in denial
This uber feminine, body hairless poof makes 8 out of ten tweeners go squee
They should just turn to the chick next to them instead of hoping girly boy will pick them out of a crowd
Yes, he needs to learn to tie his laces, but my first thought when reading this was "those fucking lawyers!". Right there looking for any fucking buck. : (
Submitted by Craigypants on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 2:15pm.
I still don't know why he is famous. I mean he had 1 shitty song years ago. Why do girls like him? He looks more like a chick than most chicks do. Send him on the first plane back to Canada & leave him there.
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Um, you're trolling right? First first album, and last falls Christmas album were both #1, he has a Top 10 single RIGHT NOW, and his concert movie made about $100 million.
I wonder why his zippered pants pocket (on his knee) is inside out?...
Looks odd...
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Trying to decide if that shoe or the sock is funnier! =))
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FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
With that being said, what the fuck is the paparazzi's deal? Why are they seemingly ABOVE THE LAW? Aren't they regular assholes invading the privacy of other celebrities, that if others did the same thing without the title of "parapazzi" would get arrested for?
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I agree, they are such dicks. When I was on a film set they were harassing the woman who set up the lighting. She asked them to move so she could do her job and then they claimed she hit them with a lighting pole and threatened to sue, I watched the whole thing, nothing even close to that happened. And they were swearing and basically loitering, I bet if any non-white teenagers were behaving that way in a rich neighborhood the cops would take them in in a second.
"Selena frowns and wonders why she's hanging around with his androgyny when she could be having a train run on her by One Direction." lololol
I'm on team nobody. I hope the paps and the beaver beat the shit out of each other daily if that's what they want to do.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Everyone knows that celebs and the paps feed off each other. Celebs themselves call the paps when they want to feel important. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if pansy-assed Justin or his people hired this pap to try and give Justina a "hard" image.
I'm no Justin Bieber fan. I think his ass is like a Parapazzi to everyone's ears. Just won't go the fuck away. Everywhere you go, you hear that "boyfriend" song..and every other song he put out before that, you can't escape it...
With that being said, what the fuck is the paparazzi's deal? Why are they seemingly ABOVE THE LAW? Aren't they regular assholes invading the privacy of other celebrities, that if others did the same thing without the title of "parapazzi" would get arrested for? How do you legimately get to stalk and harrass someone legally? These fools are like parasites. And not allowing someone to get in to their vehicle seems like a far-stretched case of false imprisonment but still, he was blocking him from allowing him entry in his vehicle to leave to take snap shops of him. I know other places have laws against this, and America should be one of them. I don't like Justin Beiber, this bullshit isn't cool though, if you had people stalking your every fucking move, snapping pictures of you and your children/family/friends, and writing rumors about your personal life, you'd go in to rage-attack mode too. It's enough after awhile, to even though use to this. Celebrity or not, we are all still human and NO ONE likes that shit.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 2:08pm.
I KNOW! I recall the The Today Show being a news based show, where world events, politics and things of that nature were the ONLY things you would see on that show.
Watching it this morning, the LEAD story in one of the news hours was BIEBER!
I think cannibals in FLA are the least of our worries, when you look at what passes for news nowadays - an 18yr old twat hitting a pap.
*smdh*
LMAO @ that paisley bandana hanging out of his knee pocket!
According to Gay Hanky Code paisley bandana in a pocket means he likes dudes wearing boxers, hahahaha
I still don't know why he is famous. I mean he had 1 shitty song years ago. Why do girls like him? He looks more like a chick than most chicks do. Send him on the first plane back to Canada & leave him there.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:10am.
LOL! NBC news just reported he is taking boxing lessons from Mike Tyson!
'Member when the news used to report actual news like bombings in Lebanon or in Ireland? I remember the only times celebrities were mentioned in the news was when they died. Now this twat is supposed to be getting boxing lessons from an angry cannibal and that's news. This world.
Another no talent here. We can't catch a break. So many talented quiet giants out there and we're stuck with this "prodigy". Fuck.
Is Calabasas pap central? Thought it was a smallish town past the big city?
ITA most times, dementa.
You want the money, fame and power? Go stroll somewhere far away rather that pap central.
I would be embarrassed to say that Justin Bieber kicked my ass. I've seen newborn kittens who were tougher than that young'un. JB couldn't kick his own ass if he had help.
It's a little funny how much hate people have for the paps. Sure they're vile parasitic bottom-feeders, but they also only suck the blood from celebrities, who are vile parasitic bottom-feeders themselves.
So when I hear about a pap trying to gouge money from an arrogant little snot like the Beaver, I don't take sides. I just enjoy seeing both of them hurting each other.
Then again, Beaver probably paid this guy to say he attacked him, just to give him a "thug" image.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.