Why Are People Eating Each Other?
I'm still trying to get over that story about the Japanese guy serving his guests WAY TOO FUCKING ORGANIC sausage, and now Clarice Starling better get her good handbag and cheap rube shoes to Miami! A police officer shot and killed a naked man who had eaten another man's face off. I don't recall Dorothy and Rose including that bit in their "write a jingle about Miami" contest entry for the tourist board.
The grotesque nightmare began around 2 PM on Saturday when a Miami police officer spotted a nudie cutie dining on another guy's face on a bike path off the MacArthur Causeway. When the officer (who I fucking hope gets next week off) asked Leatherface to stop chowing on the other guy's mug, Leatherface declined and kept right on munching. Well, he got shot and killed.
The victim is said to be alive and in critical condition at Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital. Cops are saying that he appears to have been a homeless man, and that "cocaine psychosis" might have been the cause of the perpetrator's nudity and cannibalism.
What are they cutting the cocaine with down in Miami? The goo from Prince of Darkness? He couldn't have been that psycho if he disrobed so he wouldn't get any face bits on his clothing.
And why am I the guy who has to post about people eating each other?!? Oh, who cares. DListed is the balls. Thanks for reading, guys. If you're into naked dudes and...well, mostly naked dudes - come see me over at my day job at Manhunt Daily.
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@TrashyWilma
I don't know what's going on with the naked cannibals down there, but Miami is part of Florida. So I'm not gonna overanalyze it. I'm just gonna give it the "That's Florida" stamp.
I haven't seen anything this severe or disgusting in Miami, but there have been a few cases recently of men getting naked and trying to bite people. WTF is going on down there?
At least the cops eliminated any recidivism risk.
Submitted by tomahawk: "And this is in fact the first time I congratulate on firing a whole magazine into a naked, defenseless man."
Same here. I've seen comments elsewhere, in which people complain that the cop should have used a taser.
Bitch, please.
If someone is eating my face off, I want the cops to shoot that mofo between the damn eyes.
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
On OT news, my nerves are on edge because a snake got into the house, crawled its way upstairs and ended up in my room. It was a black snake, so not poisonous, but still not what you want to see as you're getting ready for a nap.
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Holy shit, misslainey! That would freak me out! What did you do? Where's the snake?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@literarylioness
Ill meet you at my underground bunker with a machine gun and some perishables.
At least they weren't gay.
Flesh eating bacteria is scarier than any zombie gnawing at your face. That shit will eat you from the inside out.
Submitted by jackie on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:17pm.
Isn't this how all those zombie/28 days later movies start out? There's a bizarre news story about someone eating someone or something weird like that, people assume its an isolated incident and pcp is involved, next thing you know zombies take over the world. I don't know about yall but I'm keeping my eyes open for anymore news stories like this.
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Yes! I'm a flesh eating aficionado (they are really not zombies) and this is how it starts. The government wants to keep this stuff quiet not to alarm anyone. Did you notice how the hospital won't talk about the guy who got chewed on? Also, the flesh eater (that's what I call them) growled when the cop told him to stop AND it took six shots to kill it!
This is some deep stuff.
Off-topic but, there is a Lifetime movie (yes, Lifetime lol) playing about the Scott Peterson murder of his wife Laci titled, "The perfect husband" and I was shocked that this movie came out in 2004. It still seems like yesterday when that trial happened. Wow. How time flies.
More off-topic:
Thank you to all of the military men and women who serve our country with honor. Kudos and much respect. Having two men in my own family who have served, I know the sacrifice (both mentally and physically).
I read that the cannibal was high on LSD and the victim was homeless. Still wondering why they were BOTH naked. Homeless guy was pretty messed-up and is in ICU.
Yeah..Miami..
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
So does this mean the victim will turn into a zoombie now.?.OMG Please you have to keep us updated with this.
Doobies and Boobies--Brandon Brown
So does this mean the victim will turn into a zoombie now.?.OMG Please you have to keep us updated with this.
Doobies and Boobies--Brandon Brown
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:50pm.
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
I am so taking that drank. I thought I was gonna need a Xanax there for a minute.
Technically there can't be anything like a zombie like in the walking dead or other movies/series. But there can be zombies like in the voodoo culture - people who have been poisoned or who are insane or who lost their ability to think clearly otherwise. That would be an option and that might happen, but you won't see a torso crawl across the street.
My teeth wouldn't be able to devour anyone, so I would make a poor zombie. Or a zombie with an immersion blender and drinking straw.
And this is in fact the first time I congratulate on firing a whole magazine into a naked, defenseless man.
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
HOLY HELL! I would sooner see a man eating the flesh of another man, before I could handle a snake slithering about!
*hands Lainey an icy Scotch to soothe nerves*
Whatever the hell they're ingesting/shooting up/snorting in Miami, keep that shit away from me.
Why does the craziest shit happen in Florida and Ohio? And Japan? I don't know if the Mayans were right, but I seriously think Jesus is coming back or something because people have lost their natural minds! Removing your franks and beans, braising them and serving them, eating off people's faces. What. The. Hell.
On OT news, my nerves are on edge because a snake got into the house, crawled its way upstairs and ended up in my room. It was a black snake, so not poisonous, but still not what you want to see as you're getting ready for a nap.
Sweet holy fuck. This has happened before:
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Police-Investigate-After-Naked-Man-Sh...
Zombie Apocalypse indeed.
Lock-n-LOAD!
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 3:04pm.
Hopefully watching all those Walking Dead eps pays off when the shit hits the fan!! *sharpening katana*
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~
LOL!
I think I will watch 28 Weeks Later and get some tips from my fantasy hubby Renner on running from Zombies.
And if I have to be eaten by a Zombie, PLEASE let Renner eat me!
Isn't this how all those zombie/28 days later movies start out? There's a bizarre news story about someone eating someone or something weird like that, people assume its an isolated incident and pcp is involved, next thing you know zombies take over the world. I don't know about yall but I'm keeping my eyes open for anymore news stories like this.
When I saw this story I thought the same - WTF are they cutting coke with?!?! Must be heroin or PCP.
I suspect when the whole story comes out this thing will have been pumped up on far more than cocaine.
I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.
A guy visits Miami, asks a native, 'Any local dishes that a visitor should try?'
'You've got to try a Cuban!'
Hopefully watching all those Walking Dead eps pays off when the shit hits the fan!! *sharpening katana*
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
Submitted by justincase on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 2:41pm.
I was just thinking ...
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:00pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 12:57pm.
Aaaand..he's out on parole as we speak because his doctors say he's all better now.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
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Well that's weird, he's been getting his mail forwarded to New Guinea for a few weeks now!
... I hope he doesn't disguise himself as John Waters, hitch-hiking across the Canadian prairies, next week when I am driving alone from Vancouver to Winnipeg!!!
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LOL, you're from The PEG Case?!!???
I was just thinking ...
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:00pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 12:57pm.
Aaaand..he's out on parole as we speak because his doctors say he's all better now.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
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Well that's weird, he's been getting his mail forwarded to New Guinea for a few weeks now!
... I hope he doesn't disguise himself as John Waters, hitch-hiking across the Canadian prairies, next week when I am driving alone from Vancouver to Winnipeg!!!
Submitted by dorian_graye on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:54pm.
I'm guessing this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse we've all been waiting for.
Swear to God, I subscribe to 'Natural News', and the site owner, Mike Adams wrote an article on the very zombie thing. In fact, I didn't hear about this on mainstream news; heard it from the Libertarian naturalist.
Submitted by MizRo: "...I saw the footage of the cops discovering this cannibal feasting: didn't get to see the actual eating but the victim was lying in a little enclosure and his body would slighly move everytime the maniac would bite..."
WHATTT????
I hope the victim was unconscious.
I'm guessing this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse we've all been waiting for.
Haha, EC--- :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:36pm.
Ooooo, good one! ; )
Are you kidding? The cops will have to go out on mental disability: can any of you IMAGINE? We know about Dahmers and such but to SEE it? *breathing*
When chewing on jaw, chase with Syrah.
The cops who showed up for that call are going to need some serious trauma counseling. Horrible!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:21pm.
If you are just into toes, try the Merlots.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:26pm.
Bwahaha EC--- when dining on cock, try the Médoc.
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Light him on fire, drink Pinot Noir.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:26pm.
LOL! This is fun!
That Japanese dude needed the Medoc!
Eating some brain? Go with Champagne.
I thought cocaine was supposed to kill your appetite.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Bwahaha EC--- when dining on cock, try the Médoc.
Damn! saw the footage of the cops discovering this cannibal feasting: didn't get to see the actual eating but the victim was lying in a little enclosure and his body would slighly move everytime the maniac would bite... Holy shit, I would have shot him the minute I saw that.
Can't.stop.hyperventilating: woe is "humanity"
Miami. Florida. Never.again.
It's the zombie Apocalypse! All it takes is one. Now that guy with the chewed off face is going to turn. My hubs said I was nuts, but I knew this was going to happen.
If you are just into toes, try the Merlots.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:10pm.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:03pm.
"'Twas a pain in your neck? Serve with Malbec!"
LOL!!! OK, one more: "When you're off to the bin, toast it with Zin."
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When wearing your socks, drink straight from the box. :)
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:06pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 12:57pm.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
Good luck. They eat people there too.
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Ya, and something tells me they did it first!
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 1:03pm.
"'Twas a pain in your neck? Serve with Malbec!"
LOL!!! OK, one more: "When you're off to the bin, toast it with Zin."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 12:57pm.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
Good luck. They eat people there too.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 9:25am.
Some hip hop festival is taking place there so what can you expect? Ever seen the pics from that event? Land whales dressed in daisy dukes and halter tops as far as the eye can see. Cellulite, fat rolls, saggy breasts, beat weaves and long acrylic nails are the guests of honor at that mess.
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Huh?
Homeless, cocaine-crazed cannibal = Badly dressed, overweight people at a hip hop concert?
"'Twas a pain in your neck? Serve with Malbec!"
oh, this IS fun!
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God don't like ugly.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 12:57pm.
Aaaand..he's out on parole as we speak because his doctors say he's all better now.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
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Well that's weird, he's been getting his mail forwarded to New Guinea for a few weeks now!
Leave J. Harvey aloooone! LOL I'm sure he's a big boy and can take a little criticism. Too damn bad if you you don't want to read it. Not everyone is going to love the same posts as you.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:59am.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:43am.
Mike, that Canadian bus beheader story made my blood run cold as did this face chewer. It's like something from a horror movie.
Yeah, the Canadian one is really rough. Can you imagine being one of those passengers and seeing all of that? I can't imagine you'd ever be able to forget something like that.
*******
Aaaand..he's out on parole as we speak because his doctors say he's all better now.
*immigrating to New Guinea*
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Well, pig cheeks are considered a delicacy so.........? Great job J Harvey . It was our pleasure. You are a keeper. Thanks.