True Love Prevails: Hugh Hefner And Crystal Harris Are Back Together
It's been nearly a year since failed gold digger Crystal Harris left Hugh Hefner waiting in his Hoveround at the altar, sold her engagement ring for $90k and told Howard Stern that riding Hef's tequila worm dick made her pussy vomit and not in a good way. For the past few months, Crystal has been lying on an air mattress in her studio apartment waiting for the calls from Dial-A-Skank to come in (they never did) and while she waited she thought about the glory whory days when she'd pull a number out of the red ticket dispenser in Hef's chambers and patiently wait for her turn to sit on his face. Crystal misses the scent of Fixodent wafting off of her chocha and she wants to get back to that. So Crystal begged Hef to take her back and since he doesn't remember who the hell she is, he opened his front door to her! A source tells Radar that Hef is Crystal's Stevia Daddy (Hef's doctor told him to cut back on the sugar) again.
"Crystal begged Hef to let her come back. He surprisingly doesn't have any hard feelings against her, so he let her move back into the Mansion. Shera Berchard, Hef's #1 girlfriend, moved out as soon as Crystal moved back in. Hef and Crystal are really happy back together."
I know I've called Crystal a gold digger a million times before, but ho is more of a fame digger than a gold digger. You'd have to be the dimmest gold digger alive to get with Hef. Hef doesn't let his hos leave the mansion, gives them the worst allowance ever and probably notices when his ho steals one of his prized confederate coins to secretly pawn it off while they're out buying red velvet diaper covers for his Depends. It really is like living with your pepaw. CORRECTION: It's worse than living with your pepaw. At least your pepaw doesn't make you spoon feed him Viagra pudding before hopping up and down on his peen while reading the astrology section from an old copy of Reader's Digest. Crystal is obviously trying to get on another cover of Playboy or maybe she's just really into rubbing her coochie against Hef's stoma sores. Sucia bitch.
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was that really a year ago? damn.
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Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:59pm.
"PLAYBOY chief HUGH HEFNER has gone deaf from taking too much Viagra, say two 21-year-old twins who used to be his lovers."
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He's gone deaf from being 86; he just also happens to need Viagra because he's 86.
I'm also gonna need to see the twins' medical degrees.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I knew Hef had a reputation for being forgiving and not holding grudges but this is just ridiculous.
I've always liked Hef but he'd have to be a major fool to take this dime-store greedy bitch back. You'd think humiliating him once would be enough.
Pathetic.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
@ditquoi
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 1:25pm.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:59pm.
"PLAYBOY chief HUGH HEFNER has gone deaf from taking too much Viagra, say two 21-year-old twins who used to be his lovers."
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3645559/Viagras-mad...
I thought that shit makes you blind. deaf too? bust a nut at age 80 but lose 2 of your 5 senses? GTFOH. these old men need to have a seat in front of the telly with a cup of cocoa and a warm afghan.
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OMG!! Hilarious!! I snorted when I laughed reading your post. I think only dust comes out anyway at his age. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Sigh, D. I was really hoping you could compile an entire article on Hef without once referring to his peen. You almost made...right up to the second to the last sentence.
on a slightly different topic, in Kendra's new show, Hef lands his copter in the middle of her backyard to come visit her.
1) who the fuck keeps giving this hot body annoying laugh plastic surgery-overdosed frog-looking HO TV shows? she bites whale titty in the worst way.
2) is her husband Hank kind of slow? a little on the derp side? a LOT on the derp side? cuz what the fuck is up with allowing your wife's ex sugar mummy within 100 feet of your home and your child.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:59pm.
"PLAYBOY chief HUGH HEFNER has gone deaf from taking too much Viagra, say two 21-year-old twins who used to be his lovers."
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3645559/Viagras-mad...
I thought that shit makes you blind. deaf too? bust a nut at age 80 but lose 2 of your 5 senses? GTFOH. these old men need to have a seat in front of the telly with a cup of cocoa and a warm afghan.
...took her back?! Idon'tfuckin'thinksoscooter.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
True, the women of Playboy are not what they used to be, but the photography still is. Part of what makes the photos so erotic is the work of the photographer. The lighting, the angles, knowing exactly how to position and photograph the women. Playboy has some of the best photographers in the world in my opinion.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:48pm.
"He surprisingly doesn't have any hard feelings against her"
Oh that's no surprise, I'm sure. At least not without the help of Viagra or Cialis.
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"PLAYBOY chief HUGH HEFNER has gone deaf from taking too much Viagra, say two 21-year-old twins who used to be his lovers."
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3645559/Viagras-mad...
I have to ask the men here, would it be worth it?
this reeks of a set-up for some kind of reality tv bullshit . . .
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
She ran out of cash fast!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
The image of them on scooters tells the whole story... HAHAHA... Good for gramps Hef (well played) *clap clap clap* LOL for Crystal (enjoy the monthly dose of wrinkly gonads, girl) *kisses* ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I wonder if her moving back in means that she's bumped back up to Hef's #1 Girlfriend/Wrinkly Peen Sucker status, or if she's just another chick living in the house.
Either way, it's so yuck.
"He surprisingly doesn't have any hard feelings against her"
Oh that's no surprise, I'm sure. At least not without the help of Viagra or Cialis.
LOL Priceless MK!!
I think she believed she would move on to bigger and better things, like Holly, Bridget and Kendra did, but that didn't happen. I'm sure she ran out of money. He's a fool to take her back. She showed her true colors when she broke up with him, with all the interviews she did. I'm sure people close to him told him not to take her back, but he did anyway.
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QueenieBK - I agree with the article statement. Bought Mr. Spot a subscription and we both read it. It expired recently and I'm debating on renewing it. They also have good recommendations for tasty booze in there!
Always liked the mag. *shrugs*
OET...I liked that show when it was on in a I can't actually believe they do this geezer kind of way.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:10am.
Does anybody at all care in the least about Playboy anymore?
Playboy use to have the prettiest of the pretty all natural women. Now just like most of North America it all about fake tits and pumped up lips. It's a shame I tell ya a crying shame.
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My old man will buy it if someone he's interested in is posing in it (*coughcough* Blohan *coughcough* YES HE BOUGHT IT), or I'll ask him to buy it if there's an article I'm interested in - like the Artie Lange interview - but I agree, all the women look the same. It's very generic.
I think the articles are still very good, and the cartoons always crack me up.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:10am
Apparently people prefer porn sites such as plumplass.com these days.
OT - I don't know which one of these whores is more desperate, but they deserve each other.
She is exactly what he deserves, perfect match.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
She's hoping that this time he'll be just senile enough to drop the prenup or add her to the will.
Being an in-house bunny is a gilded cage. You don't have to "work" per se, you get free room and board, you get to travel all over for free, and you get to meet exciting people, like James Caan and that guy from Limp Bizkit.
As an aside, stevia is the bomb. I keep waiting for the studies that show it causes dwarfism or something worse.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by Get Serious on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:14am.
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
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FUCK YOUR DOLPHIN!
I think she peed.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:22am.
This guy is pathetic. *smacks Jacks head for bowing*
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Throw in an extra smack from me.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
This guy is pathetic. *smacks Jacks head for bowing*
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:04am.
I was up in the middle of night and Girls Next Door was on. I can't believe Holly rode that geriatric dick for all those years.
From what other girlfriends have said, there is very little sex with Hef. He pays little attention to the girls, sometimes they see him once a month. The sex is very brief and gay porn is on tv during the whole thing.
Hef must need someone to change his depends really badly, because this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've seen him do. The woman is on record for saying she never loved him, she did it for the money, the thought of him touching her made her sick, etc. She's a money grubbing gold digger; that's it. This is going to end badly, but he deserves what he gets here...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Does anybody at all care in the least about Playboy anymore?
Playboy use to have the prettiest of the pretty all natural women. Now just like most of North America it all about fake tits and pumped up lips. It's a shame I tell ya a crying shame.
I couldn't care less about these two fucking, but I LOVE the Playboy bunny logo with the Union Jack.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
There's no fool like an old fool with too much money, a saggy ball sack, dentures, dementia, liver spots and incontinence problems.
No doubt she's out of money.
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/31/2012 - 10:54am.
But what about Dr. Phil's spawn Crystal?
She didn't pass RoboRobin's daughter in law worthy test.
I was up in the middle of night and Girls Next Door was on. I can't believe Holly rode that geriatric dick for all those years. Also that Bridget chick was old looking and so fucking annoying.
*bows before the master*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Is he really that fucking dumb? Me thinks not. These bunny whores get only the luxury of living in the mansion, but they still have to suck on that wrinkly old peen on a regular basis. And when the old goat finally kicks it, not one of his ex-whores will inherit so much as a used condom. All of it is going to his kids.
Thank God! My prayers are answered. I am so thrilled that these two fame whores , I mean soul mates are back together . I could not sleep at night because of my concern for them........may they rot in Hell.
But what about Dr. Phil's spawn Crystal?
And to think that many still admire him for being a 'stud'. Que c'est triste la vieillesse.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Fail!!!!! white girl you need to learn how to peddle your pusssay like Zhang Zhi Yi.