Breaking: The Olsens Don't Totally Look Like Death Demons
The CFDA Awards (which are like the Golden Globes of fashion since the Barbizon graduates fashion show is the Oscars of fashion, duh) were held in NYC last night and the modern day Grady Twins slithered onto the red carpet to almost touch nipples for the photographers while slyly smirking. I was taught in catechism class to never trust an evil Olsen's smirk, but these pictures of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen aren't making the slivers of my soul cry. For once, they don't totally look like they're chewing on the cartilage of baby squirrels while killing us softly with their eyes. They kind of look like the Marilyn and Lily Munster in all-lemur production of The Munsters. And yes, I'm typing this all with one hand while holding a crucifix dipped in holy water at my monitor. I still don't trust those bitches even if they look human now.
Since Mary-Kate Olsen is trying to become the grown up Queen of France, or some shit, she went for a more sophisticated (or as my cousin says it, "sophistimicated") look by dying her hair the color of her soul. I read a comment on another site that said by dying her hair brown, MKO is trying to look like a young Carla Bruni. Ho, please. The only way MKO could look like Carla Bruni is if she crawled into Carla's mouth and took over her body. I shouldn't give that Trollsen any ideas.
Here's a few more pictures from last night's Golden Globes of fashion. In order: The Trollsens with Lauren Hutton, Marc Jacobs with his porn piece, Karen Elson, Pharrell Williams (dressed like Little Lord WTF), John Waters with guest, Phil Collins' daughter, a stunning spider woman beauty, Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Titty, Heather Graham, Zoe Saldana, Mandy Moore, Chupa, Michelle Harper and Basement Baby.
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Their hair is washed and brushed
Their faces are clean and they had a bath!!!!
That is the best I have seen them in a long time!!!
Submitted by kylimayrow on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 9:01pm.
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:53pm.
I went to highschool with Michelle Harper! She looks toooo skinny!! :D
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Who the fuck is Michelle Harper? I looked up the name & in some pics she looks like an Asian lady & in others a white woman... Confused?
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In the pics, she is just to the right of Rachel Zoe...is the one wearing the dramatic blue eye makeup and looks more malnourished than everyone else. Well, barely more than the Zoe Saldana chick.
http://www.elle.com/Fashion/Fashion-Spotlight/New-York-Fashion-Week-Nigh...
I wonder what their "pose" word is now? They don't look like they are saying 'prune' here.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
What are the Olsens on tonight? X?
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:53pm.
I went to highschool with Michelle Harper! She looks toooo skinny!! :D
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Who the fuck is Michelle Harper? I looked up the name & in some pics she looks like an Asian lady & in others a white woman... Confused?
Ugh, smirking does not make you appear to be a better designer. Mary Kate def had some nose job action that I didn't notice before. I do like the dark, non-stringy hair. The other one looks just like she did as a kid, which I think is kinda nice...and she doesn't drip the attitude.
Am I the only one who thinks the Olsen twins look awesome in this picture? MKO looks much prettier with dark hair and I'm sure their award is well-deserved....they make amazing clothes & accessories.
I went to highschool with Michelle Harper! She looks toooo skinny!! :D
Wow. This IS really amazing. Rich people with half a dozen designers, stylists, personal assistants and wardrobe specialists in tow manage to look gorgeous and presentable. A. MAZING. What wonderful accomplishment. I can see why they are worshipped and important: they can look good with tons of help. Wow. I knew America was great for a reason and now i see what that reason is.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Basement Baby/Solange is so fucking gorgeous and I want her purse!!!
I love Ashley's make-up here.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 4:30pm.
Posing for pictures like the main one really sets off my incestuous gaydar.
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Totally. They always pose like they are about to fuck each other. Idiots.
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Dark-sided!
Posing for pictures like the main one really sets off my incestuous gaydar.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Careful. Khaleesi will sick her dragons on you.
I sent two! I hope no one is deleting your email. I'll resend!
Sorry for the OT whores!
Woowwee! Someone gave these little bitches a bath and an anti-depressant. Welcome to the surface world, Trollsens!
Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 3:29pm.
just checked it.. I don't have anything. :( but, it was such a quick trip, we were non-stop the whole time we were there I don't think I would have been able to make it. Would have LOVE to, though.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I sent you a message DAYS ago whore! I also damaged my phone and lost numbers so I sent you my number through FB! I was gonna see if you wanted to hang out in the panhandle but you didn't reply yet.
Fuckery is afoot!
Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 3:20pm.
Jack,
wtf. Are you not allowed on FB now?
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Whattaya mean? Yea, I'm still there. Why?
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I wonder if these two get together and share dieting tips (more like eating disorders) to stay the same thin-wise.
Yes, it's Tuesday and my mind wanders into 'shit you don't need to know' territory.
Jack,
wtf. Are you not allowed on FB now?
Zoe Saldana must be hellified skinny if that dress is baggy about the waist.
two snaps up for you, gurl *snap snap*
Call me crazy (you wouldn't be the first one) but I like Solange wayyyyyyyyyyyy more than Fakeyonce. Solange looks normal, dresses crazy and doesn't give a shit, and I firmly believe she ACTUALLY gave birth to her son and not a couch cushion.
How is Mark Jacobs not embarrassed to be seen out in public with a guy who has a profile on escort websites? Also how is he not embarrassed to pick out a leased piece and then dress and style him just like himself.
In happier new Solange looks freaking amazing, it would be interesting to see if Bey looks anywhere near that pretty without the 40 pounds of drag makeup and wigs she wears all the time.
These two remind me a bit of Yoda. Covered in heavy cloaks and hobbling around as they do.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
They look great here, but I still hate the brunette one's posture. STOP SLOUCHING ABOUT LIKE YOU'RE 83 YEARS OLD FOR GOD'S SAKE.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Love the dark, straight hair. It's nice to see them not look so similar even though they're not identical in the first place.
Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
These two have certainly perfected the "suck in the cheeks, closed smile" thing. An absolut(e) work of art. FABULOUS!
Be Good to Each Other
Why those two praying mantises aren't regulars on The Walking Dead is a mystery.
Who's the hot mess in the cobwebby dress?
Why do they pose tit to tit? So creepy and weird. Are they tying to be sexy by being close to each other? if so, that is really gross.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
-little lord wtf is right lol
-mary-kate always looks miserable with that smile of hers
-i love john waters and wish he was my neighbour
Pharrell Williams (dressed like Little Lord WTF) Trying too hard to be different, wanker!
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My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
Are these two fuckheads siamese twins??? They seem attached at the stomach. Actually they probably have a tube attached to each other to share the snacking of human souls. Asshats.
Lauren Hutton is ageing WELL! I would. Zoe Saldana, J Tilly and Heather Graham 8====D
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My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
I don't get why they are always slouched over like that, they are only like 5'2" tall when standing up straight. If they don't want to be noticed they should move to Burma and continue working in "fashion" in a local sweat shop.
The SandwichQueen strikes again!
If the spiderwoman lost the feathers the dress wouldn't look too bad.
And I don't know that showing nipple AND underwear is the look. Maybe one or the other but not both. ;-])
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elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
God bless the Olsen Trollsens
Two fugly fur wearing trolls.
If only ONCE these girls would pose like that, bump pelvises and give each other high fives I would love them forever.
Woah - the twin on the left looks like Daenerys Targaryen.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:12pm.
Whamo, are you here? LOLOLOL, check out JJ comment # 2114 by Fuck Off Dlisted Freaks --->
Fvck off Dlisted Freaks @ 06/05/2012 at 12:50 pm
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They discovered the brush!
Maybe they should stand a little closer together?
The "prune" thing has got to go.
If you look at the picture and blink really rapidly, you can convince yourself it's Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beal.
I love me some Jennifer Tilly but that outfit is all kinds of no.
And nevermind spiderwoman...what is Michelle Harper wearing??? And is that nipple I spy?!
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:45pm.
yeah her face isnt pretty, but the dress is nice on her. and ive heard also that zoe likes seafood.
Do not like the brunette color at all.
People always seem to think they are identical twins, but they are in fact, fraternal twins so they resemble each other the way any two sisters would. Granted, they look a lot alike, but they are easy to tell apart. The younger sister, Elizabeth(?), is gorgeous.
MK looks much better with the dark hair. Now if only she'd stop puckering all the time. Duckface is over, girl.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom