Morrissey Is Quitting This Bitch....In Two Years
Morrissey tells JuiceOnline.com (via Billboard) that after being in the music business for 30 years, his body is no longer the willowy reed of pure sex that it once was and so he's going to officially retire at the decaying and decrepit (served in a bowl of warm sarcasm) age of 55. Morrissey name dropped Syria in his resignation letter, because it wouldn't be a Morrissey quote if he didn't inject a little political shit into it.
"I am slightly shocked to have gone as far as I have. This is my 30th year, and I've aged a lot recently, which is bit distressing for me, as it must be for everyone. The body changes shape and there's nothing you can do about it. Do I continue as a modern day Andy Williams? I take one hour at a time. We will all probably be blown up by the Syrian government soon, anyway, so it hardly matters in the great scheme of things."
What in the hell kind of GD retirement excuse is that?! Morrissey is going to retire because his sciatica is acting up and he doesn't think the scent of BenGay belongs at a rock show? What bullshit. Iggy Pop performed at Ramesses II's Diamond Jubilee and he's still swinging his saggy chest sacks on stage today. Steven Tyler's bones are being held together with mummy tape dipped in Elmer's and he doesn't let that stop him from performing. But Morrissey is too delicate to go on? This isn't how Morrissey is supposed to quit. Morrissey is supposed to quit over some stupid shit like an audience member in the front row sipping non-vegan beer at one of his shows. Morrissey will gasp, throw the back of his hand over his forehead, arch his back and jazz walk stage left as the lights dim to a slow cue and a red velvet curtain drops. That's how a melodramatic queen goes!
Whatever. I'm okay with Morrissey retiring from music as long as he's not retiring from saying crazy ass shit.
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Will forever LOVE LOVE LOVE Morrissey and am SOOO thankful he was there for me when I needed him in my 20's. I'm trying to get my 11 yr old into his songs now but she's not biting yet she's so broody. I can definitely see why he wants to retire and why not? Go enjoy your life. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with not being a rock star anymore. Nothing wrong with the Andy Williams circuit. One can be a cool Andy Williams.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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this stupid fucker. love him, still. i wouldn't be an LA mexi if I didn't.
He's hot for a pepaw. He's got that sexy/crazy look in his eyes which means he's either awesome in the sack or can't get it up - guys like that seem to be one extreme or the other.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
Later bromo. Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
If he'd have quit when he stopped being interesting he'd be in his 29th year of retirement now.
Grace Slick said the same thing about being old and performing. Whatevs. Sounds like a win/win for everyone. His anger cracks me up.
What will Julia do?
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Submitted by modelspiceboi on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:20pm.
Madonna has just released a statement, "Morrisey, you are a hydrangea loving wuss."
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Lol
I can see her touring another 40 years just to prove she outlived all musicians. Lol.
"willowy reed of pure sex"
Heeeheeeheeeheee
by BoredSlore on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 2:39pm.
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Hiya Whammy! I was actually an amateur speed skater in Florida! Was at the rick every frikken day! The tunes I 'member from my free skate times are:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK9hK82r-AM
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOuZmEKmtWQ
***looking in the garage for my speed skates... black of course! No girly white shit for me***
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That is SO cool Bored!!! I've never heard of Frankie Smith but I have it cranked right now and I could DEF see getting down BIG TIME to this old school FUNK. I'd be looking for skates too if I were you!! Now as a Beatles freak I'll have to give you a pass on the other one cause you were getting your freak on and all so I won't hack on THAT one:P
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:27pm.
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LOL, brings good back memories actually.
I remember getting down to this tune.. chasing the girls down with my best moves and a pick stuck in my hair:P
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Hiya Whammy! I was actually an amateur speed skater in Florida! Was at the rick every frikken day! The tunes I 'member from my free skate times are:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK9hK82r-AM
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOuZmEKmtWQ
***looking in the garage for my speed skates... black of course! No girly white shit for me***
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Save *The Finder*
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/406/663/146/save-the-finder-on-fox/
Dear Morrissey....
Eat a hamburger.
Werd.
:( Nononononononooooooooooooo!!!
Me sad.
Well, he could write a book, which will probably have lots of crazy stuff in it. You may retire from work but you don't retire from being crazy. Yay! :)
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
I... me... my... I, and a we... Moz, please go away as soon as possible! *drama queen to the end...* FU
"Iggy Pop performed at Ramesses II's Diamond Jubilee" -- LMAO MK! ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!
*closes windows*
I just read a great comment by Glenn Frey in People: "The most unattractive thing is middle-aged adolescence."
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Good move on Morrissey's part. Nothing I hate more than watching ancient rockers (Iggy Pop, Steve Tyler, Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger... and the list goes on and on) thinking they still have "it". You don't, so just stop.
Singing songs about being a rebel and railing against the "establishment" and thinking you're the fucking coolest while collecting Social Security/pension just makes you look like a damn fool. Plus at that age, you ARE THE ESTABLISHMENT.
You from Northern Cal Foxxy?
I see it too around my parts. Kids from 15-25 with the massive fros and the pick jammed in the side. What goes comes around again I guess.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:26pm
ya know i'm starting to see the picks stuck in the hair again -- in Oakland region [shocking, right? lol] afro head picks and all!
i wasn't roller sk8er, but i recall that "DoubleDutch Bus" song [hate it] was really big with them
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Saying he doesn't want to keep performing until the day he drops dead may be the sanest thing he's ever said.
I'm a Johnny Marr man, anyway.
Can this fucker get any more annoying and obnoxious?. He should hang out with Kristen Stewart, they both act like emo 12 year olds in deep angst.
He is way too overrated indeed. I wonder why he's considered as some sort of a poet mesiah if his fucking lyrics are stupid.
But please retire your stupid ass, Morrissey; preferably from the planet, thanyouverymuch. But sadly, he won't. He's an attention whore.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:05pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:53pm
Free Skate Rental For The First 100 Customers!!
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LOL, brings good back memories actually.
I remember getting down to this tune.. chasing the girls down with my best moves and a pick stuck in my hair:P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZorRGrDiMsA
I love you Morrissey! Please come retire with me!!
Could listen to his music all day/everyday!! Love his voice!!!
Submitted by PoppaDaddy on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 1:01pm.
I hope he comes to SF before retiring, so that I can buy yet another ticket to yet another show that he ends up cancelling out on.
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THIS. I was livid when I bought tix to see him and he cancelled. He seems to do that a lot. I'll always love Moz, but I'll never pay to see him again.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Madonna has just released a statement, "Morrisey, you are a hydrangea loving wuss."
In other news, the world has continued to turn in light of Morrisey's "shocking" announcement.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:53pm
Free Skate Rental For The First 100 Customers!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I hope he comes to SF before retiring, so that I can buy yet another ticket to yet another show that he ends up cancelling out on.
So what will he do, write poetry while hanging out in graveyards or something? He could just keep his shirt on at shows if he's worried about sagging.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
Taylor Hicks..releasing his latest LP at The Funky Monkey All Disco Roller Rink in Des Moines Iowa
Well since he can retire cuz his body got the sags and Syria is blowing us up ANYWAY, I won't pay my bills today. Who needs car insurance anyway in these moments!!??
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:11pm.
I thought this was that gray haired douchebag that won American Idol a few years back...
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ugh I remember him. He sucked.
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lmao Hekki!! I swear I nearly posted that clip! Hahahaha
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:24pm.
bitchy vegans have the TIGHTEST assholes and their wails of pain are like sweet music!!
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how eloquent there sucky..lol!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:21pm.
*plays How Soon is Now for Shianne*
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I LOVE that tune CRANKED!
I went to youtube and I'm playing it right now.lol!
"We will all probably be blown up by the Syrian government soon, anyway..."
1. North Korea and Iran are fighting over being first with that, Mr. Smarter-Than-Thou.
2. Strawberry Short-Qaeda and her terror cell of Teletubies stand a better chance than Syria.
I will miss him, but it has to be exhausting attention seeking by throwing uber-cunt shade on everything.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
If you've never been to Manchester, England where Morrissey grew up, then you just don't understand. It is the most depressing place on Earth. Not making excuses for how he acts and what he says, but it sure explains a few things.
Submitted by shianne517 on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:16pm.
I seriously can't stand his voice. My boyfriend is a big Smiths fan and I want to slap babies when he plays that shit.
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Ditto. Their music fucking SUCKS! I hate his whole deep almost whispering trying to be sexy sounding crap.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
LMAO @ Jacko!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
well good for him for knowing his expiration date and going out with dignity instead of these damn memaws poppin' that dry pussy...all you see is little dust clouds when they dance 8-P
frankly Mr Shankly you're a sickening wreck!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
LOL love the Drama School Theatrics tag. If he's really so self-conscious about aging, he could go the Kenny Rogers plastic surgery route.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
bitchy vegans have the TIGHTEST assholes and their wails of pain are like sweet music!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Sweetas: "What a refreshing breath of rainbows and sunshine he is"
AHAHAHAHAHA! At the end of his quote I heard the Debbie Downer trombone *whomp whomp WHAAAA*
No, my love! One more US tour to say our goodbyes! Sadness :-(
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"The sanest days are mad"...morrissey
*plays How Soon is Now for Shianne*
*points finger at MK's face* HEY! Don't joke about sciatica pain! You will dig up your dead grandma and slap her around if it would make the pain stop. If you didn't feel like a cripple that is. I hurt myself a few weekends ago shoveling black gravel, and the pain was unbelieveable.
I like a couple of Smiths songs, but I couldn't give a shit if Morrissey goes away.
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"I'm thankful that I have everything that I want, and no one has anything better."
-Betty Draper