Tuesday, June 12th 2012

Charlize Theron Chopped All Her Hair Off

And she looks like a judgmental cartoon caterpillar. Correction: A really hot judgmental cartoon caterpillar. But you know, Charlize Theron would still look hot even if she got a face tattoo of The Situation jacking off into a rubber vagina made of leftover CROCs. Okay, no she wouldn't. I took it too far.

Charlize buzzed all her hair off to play Furiosa in that Mad Max: Fury Road (Fun fact: The cops call the street Mel Gibson lives on "Fury Road") movie starring Tom Hardy as Max. Charlize took a Flowbee to her mane of white gold lusciousness, because in the post-Apocalypse there's nowhere to plug your flatiron and the pile of rubble that used to be a Sally's Beauty doesn't have leave-in conditioner under it. So it's best just to chop that shit off.

I'm more curious as to how Charlize cut her hair off than as to what's really hiding underneath that hat (dun dun duuuuun). When people cut all their hair off, I always ask them if they did it in a rage-filled, melodramatic, emotionally raw, Mary-J-Blige-as-your-cutting-hair-soundtrack kind of way. You know, they caught their piece rubbing his genitals all over their best friend's face or their DVR didn't record the last 10 minutes of the Mad Men finale, so they lose their minds. They run into the bathroom, look for scissors, can't find scissors, run into the kitchen, grab a knife, run back into the bathroom and start sawing off pieces of their hair while loudly bawling about how they're cutting their past away and shit. Then as their surrounded by mutilated pieces of their murdered hair, they cry sing the lyrics to Not Gon' Cry. That's some Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale shit and it's the only way to cut all your hair off. Do that shit with feeeeeeeling. I do it with a wig every now and again when I need to feel something.

Here's newly buzz-headed Charlize leaving a medical center in Beverly Hills yesterday with her tiny son Jackson.

Posted by: Michael K


Welcome to Cambridge satchels store,there we offer Cambridge satchel with different color and various style,such as Cambridge Shoulder bag, Cambridge Tote and Messenger bag, Cambridge Tote/Messenger/Shoulders Package. Nowadays,we sale Cambrige bags at special price but top quality,for more cheap Cambridge satchels bag just come to our Cambrige store,there all Cambridge sale with free shipping and fast delivery.It's a good time to choose the Cambridge satchel you are in favor of.Cambridge satchels company are looking forward to your arrival.Do not miss it.

Knee very pretty little boob tube top little white dress, Crystal at the waist and hem bear decorations, a Mantilla playful, to create modern brides perfect temperament. Audrey Hepburn-style elegant wedding fan, small beautiful lace collar neck line, a wording return to the classic and romantic, rock. Gong Zhufan wedding dresses, short skirt long changed you will see lively and playful, revealed that the bride can bring very special and unique style of temperament of ankle. Very modern design, there is a sense of fashion. The inspiration, choose for your everyday skirt and lace and chiffon, your own wedding to make fabric style! Minimalist wedding perfect brides can also very well built, page Chadou to new items in the summer wedding dresses to inject very playful and lovely. Our online bridesmaid dresses shop have more styles and cheap wedding dresses for you too choose,such as the wedding dresses with sleeves,disney wedding dresses and knee length wedding dresses.

literarylioness's picture

She slept with Stephen Jenkins of Third Eye Blind! He lives in San Francisco, but I've never run into him. Darn!

I carried both my kids like this - they hated strollers and cried if I put them in one. Strollers are really quite inconvenient, if you see how many people are pushing them down hiking trails and other idiotic places where they don't belong.

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:47am.

i was jealous of that charlize when she was bonking him.

but i think he lost his hotness, and charlize left him.

okay i gotta go to gym to work off the 3 choco bars i just had.

WithinReason...'s picture

Loopy, I know. I've always thought he was the hawtness too, long and lean... But Charlize, said not no more Stu, not no mo'... hehehehe ;(

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:29am.

stuart townsend made me want goo soo twilight gay vampire after i saw him in queen of the damned.

WithinReason...'s picture

I'd go lez for Charlize too, 'tis true, *shhhhh* what a gorgeous family! hahahah

Wonder what Stuart Townsend is doing these days... *crickets*... And I liked him... @WorldOfRegret

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░

loopygorilla's picture

charlize actually looks hot in short hair.

check her out in the astronauts wife with johnny depp.

she had a Vidal Sassoon pixie cut in that movie and she was on fire... i would have turned lez for her and im a gay man.

Mani6's picture

Sinead O'Connor looked good bald...even Britney! Bald is the new black.

literarylioness's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:14pm.
Shaved head.....so... ladies do you think our girl here shaves HER vajajay...discuss!

I think she has a landing strip, just thought I'd through that in.

____________________________________________________
Shave? How common is that? She is a celebrity! She either gets waxed or has it permanently removed. I say she goes Brazilian and takes it ALL off.

literarylioness's picture

I think the whole baby thing looks a bit fake. Who carries their kid like this? Aren't there any strollers? I got two and don't do this.

Joe Mahma's picture

She's SO nasty.

.

QueenieBK's picture

she is fucking gorgeous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

MundoLoco's picture

that's one classy hot bitch with real style.

parissucksliterally's picture

Is she the BI about the actress who adopted but wants to give the baby back?

**********************************************
I don't steal and I don't lie, but I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do

parissucksliterally's picture

For a MOVIE. READ the post! :)

**********************************************
I don't steal and I don't lie, but I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do

Dog's picture

Holy crap, she looks like Jo-Ho's fetus borefriend!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

M.E.'s picture

WHA? FOR WHY CHARLIZE?!?!?

Sweetas's picture

EDIT :) Much better.

MickeyHolland's picture

Chris, If I were you I would quit while I was ahead. Unfortunately, that moment passed about 3 comments ago. Make that 4.

Edit: Moderation can be a thing of great beauty.
........................................................

Who are you calling silly cow?

Bigbendy's picture

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 2:59pm.
Looks good. I bet she could play a man in a movie and be sexy, unlike Jolie's laughable effort in that Salt crap. Baby Jackson is beautiful.

I have the same irrational love for Milla Jovovich that Dlisted seems to have for Charlize.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx
Lucy, I agree with you. Milla is a beautiful badass bitch whom can do no wrong.

Hekki's picture

Mickey, I agree with you about Charlize and the baby. It feels a little disingenuous or something.

MickeyHolland's picture

Submitted by moomarse on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 2:52pm.

Obviously, manners in the meadow are no longer what they where when I was a wee calf.

---------------------------------------------------

Who are you calling silly cow?

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Looks good. I bet she could play a man in a movie and be sexy, unlike Jolie's laughable effort in that Salt crap. Baby Jackson is beautiful.

I have the same irrational love for Milla Jovovich that Dlisted seems to have for Charlize.

GlamourBackshots's picture

*intro* hi LS I'm GB :-)
Promise I'm not an ass...

I agree with you about Milla I always thought she had an uncanny resemblance to Evangelista when she started out(the eye area I guess). Anyway I just wanted to share our mutual fondness for her. For me it began with The Messenger.

__________________=_=___________________
"Uhh....I'm here for the gang bang??"

moomarse's picture

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 2:24pm.

What DirtyWhoreMouth said.......

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.

moomarse's picture

Correction: A really hot judgmental cartoon caterpillar.

um, THANK YOU!!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.

MickeyHolland's picture

Normally, I'd applaud anyone who adopts a baby, but looking at these pictures I seriously mistrust Theron's reasons for doing so. All this carrying around of a fashionably dressed baby instead of using a stroller spells 'photo op' and 'stage prop' to me. It's all a little too contrived. Chances are she handed the little guy back to his nanny as soon as she turned the corner.

...................................................

Who are you calling silly cow?

That baby is so cute I could eat him up with a giant spoon.

And hey, she still looks great.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Athina's picture

I wonder how old her son is. I thought the doctors tell you to not put shoes on babies' feet until they actually start walking because it interferes with their foot development. I dunno, that's just what I was told.

Sorry, I buzzed off all my hair to the nubs and there was no melodrama. I was simply tired of growing out some bad hair color and decided to start fresh.

One thing: it was undeniably delicious to have no hair. The wind on the scalp is pure delight. And getting out of the shower and wiping your head dry was truly liberating. No wonder the guys do it. But everyone ought to try it once.

Datura's picture

Submitted by Wanted on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 1:15pm.

I lol'd my fucking ass off at this post

--------------------------------------

I second this. MK is the best.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*

"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

Wanted's picture

I lol'd my fucking ass off at this post

|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler

soulks's picture

she's a Mommy now, hair takes time(away).
Who needs hair, she has talent. ;> heart her..

I keep mine short for the job, huhhh might go really short.

OH H yes, w/Tom Hardy??!! A match made in heav =):)B)

=================^.+================
"even better than a fat tick likes a lazy dog"- Lizard Lick Towing

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

Submitted by Mrs_Fox on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:34pm.
I'm bored with her. She's like porridge; bland and uninspiring.

------------------------------

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
______________________________________________

How can a man be a mom?

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Mrs_Fox's picture

I'm bored with her. She's like porridge; bland and uninspiring.

Provolone's picture

she already regrets it...

The Sunshine Gang's picture

Why are all the white actresses adopting black baby boys? Are black baby boys the new twins?

Dirk Diggler's picture

Charlize in Mad Max? I'm on board baby.

ItsBritneyBitches's picture

She as nuts as Britney! Take the child away from her!

TANGELINE's picture

So Jackson is the cutest little pumpkin!

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:50am.
Charlize, I'm so glad you decided to be the butch, I mean of course I would give up my lipstick for you as difficult as it would be.

------------------------------

Was waiting on you to show up

______________________________________________

How can a man be a mom?

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

cprincess's picture

I do love Charlize ever since she got snapped hitting the apple bong-theres something about her -she seems fucking cool and talking of cool accessories -her baby is adoooooooooorable-where can I get one?....me want........

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

@ Whamo

I see her as being completely bald down there. (Yes, I've thought about it before) LOL

Whamo's picture

Shaved head.....so... ladies do you think our girl here shaves HER vajajay...discuss!

I think she has a landing strip, just thought I'd through that in.

I don't care what she says about Kstew (who I think is pretty too so..:P ) she can do no wrong in my books!

luvsmekitty's picture

She looks really happy.

Sweetas's picture

Charlize, I'm so glad you decided to be the butch, I mean of course I would give up my lipstick for you as difficult as it would be.

Her son is a DOLL. lol @ "really hot judgmental cartoon caterpillar"! Whooooo Aaaare YooooOooo

Beautiful but dumb as a rock. Has she not heard of a skull cap? Stupid bitch.

I do Pagents!

humans_off_earth_now's picture

Charlize!

She's great, let her do anything. I careth not.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK