Douchebags Of The Caribbean
John Mayer has achieved the impossible by making himself look like a bigger douchebag than he already is. John Mayer wore this "shiver me tampons" mess to Palihouse in West Hollywood last night and it wasn't pirate or costume night. Wearing this mess is only okay if you're at a ren faire, operating one of the rides at Fantasyland in Disneyland, performing in front of Treasure Island, posing next to Fabio for the cover of a gay romance novel, participating in a Firefly-themed role play orgy, working as busboy at Medieval Times or if you're acting in an episode of Dr. Who. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that wearing this outfit is okay as long as your name is not John Mayer. If your name is John Mayer, then it's definitely not okay.
John Mayer's obsession with looking like Johnny Depp needs to stop. Earth to d-bag, you'll never look like Johnny Depp and you'll really never look like Jack Sparrow. The only way John Mayer would look like Johnny Depp is if Johnny Depp got into a terrible accident and had to have facial reconstruction surgery using pieces of a prolapsed rectum. That's it.
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And he's getting the cokie slims, methinks...
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"Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see the Baby Jesus!" -- MK
Submitted by Nocturnia on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 1:38am.
WUSS IN BOOTS.
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This.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 5:31pm.
Hey! I liked Visage!
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I liked them too! And Ultravox!
I draw the line at Spandau Ballet, though.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Submitted by liverwurst on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 9:01pm.
He's below average at being a decent human being, which is why he is on Dlisted.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
His mouth looks like my father's before he put his teeth in.
So he had some silly fun with his fame? Who cares? That doesn't make him (such an over used word) "a douche." What he is is an awesome musician and at the end of the day, that's what he's paid for... doing an above average job at it too.
Gees, lots of haters here. Check this link: http://icydk.com/2012/06/19/john-mayer-wants-to-date-jennifer-lawrence/
This explains the costume...yes, there is a good reason for it.
You guys gotta learn to speak your minds and don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel.
Tony G
"I'm Not Alright"
He would have looked much cooler if he had dressed up as a 'Hot Topic' Pierrot Lunaire.
Hey! I liked Visage!
I guess that instead of watching Xtube all night under the influence, he's been watching old Visage/Spandau Ballet/Ultravox videos all night on YouTube, under the influence, for a change.
HATE. HIM.
FUCKING. ASS. HAT.
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"Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see the Baby Jesus!" -- MK
Lets come out with a template for how we are all supposed to look - if you put it up here at least a few people will conform.
I think he looks ridiculous but if I could snap my fingers and make him dress like me every day I absolutely would not.
Would you?
Is there a place where they would sell all those things he is wearing? Does he collect each piece in his ensemble, considering whether it will go with what he already has? I mean, did this look happen over time or did he conceive of this as how he wanted to look and then went out and bought these boots, this shirt, this vest. It looks exactly like a costume, obviously, and depending on how much intent there was putting it together, that is exactly how batshit insane I'd say he is. Previous behavior plus dressing like a movie pirate, and dressing so you would be mistaken for Johnny Depp, all indicates that he might be mental. If I was Johnny Depp I'd stay in France until he decides to start copying someone else's style.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 9:54pm.
rich kid with money gets music lessons to sound and look like a hobo music genius.
he is the jamie oliver of music.
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Love this. HATE Jamie Oliver. I'll admit to liking John Mayer when he was on Dave Chappelle's show, but not so much anymore.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
"Shiver me tampons!" LOVE iT!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
He looks greasy
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Certified Slore
Newportjoey...ZING. LMAO!
all I can say is looks like grandma went a little overboard knitting that scarf.
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:17am.
His music sucks! Sounds like elevator crap, and he's so homely. I dont know how he gets laid by ANYONE, let alone starlets. Gross.
• report abuse
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Agreed! I can't stand his fucking songs and he's not at all hot.
I thought it was Bea Arthur back from the dead hitting the gay bars in West Ho....pity...he needs better hairspray.
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
captain morgan loser twin
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
It looks like he piddled on his 'boots.'
i would call this look heroin ren faire.
eta: http://www.dlisted.com/node/46370/images/wenn3947582.jpg marc anthony is that you?
He lost a bet, right? Can you imagine getting picked up by that outfit for a date? Bwhahahaha.
Maybe he got lost on his way to the Sigur Ros video.
Doesn't look like Johnny Depp, doesn't play like Keef Richards either.
His music sucks! Sounds like elevator crap, and he's so homely. I dont know how he gets laid by ANYONE, let alone starlets. Gross.
I wanted to bang him so hard when I saw the body is a wonderland video. Now I want to flea dip him and make sure he doesn't have mange
yep ... looks like something Aniston would be attracted to
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
WUSS IN BOOTS.
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"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Mayer as a taxi drives off with his scarf in its wheels: Arrrrrgggghhhh.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Whoever said that tree looks like a bud tree..we need help. It is a beautiful sight.
oh John, you swashbuckling Summer's Eve
This title and this picture were the best things that happened to me today.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Mama said, "Think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
Just wanna be liked
Just wanna be funny
Looks like the joke's on me
So call me "Captain Backfire"
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
--"My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer
I think he took the "Captain Backfire" thing a little too literally here.
Pretty hilarious that he actually wrote this song (watch Audra McDonald sing it on YouTube - it's a triumph of performance over material).
'busboy at Medieval Times'
that is so funny
'busboy at Medieval Times'
Haaaahaaaaaaahaaaa! He wishes to be that cool.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
I'm sure Aniston has a hundred regrets about getting it on with this douche, but Jolie probably has a trillion regrets about Billy Bob Thornton, an old douche, who needs an attitude adjustment. That video of him getting pissy with the Canadian paints a very telling picture of what a dick Billy is.
pirates don't have iphones john.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
That's some puss n' boots foolio crap right there! NO! "Earth to d-bag, you'll never look like Johnny Depp..." - Werd! bwahahahahah! Where, oh where is Bea Arthur when you need her?!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I dated a guy (well, had sex with him a few times) who had gotten divorced and was really into LARPING. Please, don't ask me what that is. Anyway, it dawned on me (or maybe I just felt like it was true) that I was his rebound. He dressed up like a vampire while he LARPED and had the long hair like that. I liked him a lot better when he was married and had a bit more mystery to him. After that, he just kinda fell apart and had no real goals. Meh.
and J Aniston surely dodged major bullet here. Wow. Nothing like seeing a photo of an ex looking like a major douche to make you feel extremely glad you broke up, no matter how messy or painful or humiliating the split. Mine came when I ran into my 3 year waste of time wearing a fur vest. Yes, one of those Yeti-looking things. With his new girlfriend. I wanted to say to her, "Thank God you have him now!"
OMG - the outfit! The comments!! LMAO
The rivets in the vest remind me of some "EZ Girl Scout Indian Vest Lacing Project" that you'd have to do at Girl Scout Camp.
Then we'd all put them on and sing some godawful birch canoe song...
He looks like a demented profit. DO NOT drink the kool-aid (lol)!
The Jen Anniston 'what the fuck was i thinking' tape must be playing over and over again in her head if she's seeing this.
thanxxx for making me laugh john , ha ha ha ahah ahah a hah haahaha hahahaahahahahaahahahahahahaah
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Only love can break your heart
He and Johnny Depp both look like poseur douchebags.
I really think he's going more for the Orlando Bloom character. And he'll never look like him either. or get as lucky.
Shame Whamo, was just about to head on out there to see what the cookoos were up to! But if no one else is out there... I guess, on the 7th day you rested! olololol ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I must be jonesing. That tree in the background looks like some delicious bud.
Yuck, he reminds me of a guy my best friend in college was so in love with. He rebounded with her, then ditched her for a 15-year-old. Ouch! Lesson is, don't date guys who have hair like that, and who dress funny for funny's sake. They're bad news.