Hot Slut Of The Day!
The rubber coochie and b-hole Fleshlight that a small village in China found in the ground and mistook for a rare kind of mushroom. Oh, I so don't want to make an ancient Chinese secret joke, but these Chinese villagers are making it so hard!
Shanghaiist says that workers were drilling for a new well in Liucunbu village when they hit bedrock 80mm deep and came across a brand new kind of fungus with two mushroom heads. One of the wisest and eldest villagers who has seen it all says that even he has never seen anything like this before (Side note: That's an old ho who hasn't truly lived)! After doing a search on the Internet, they declared that it was a taisui mushroom, an herb that Emperor Qin Shi Huang discovered as the true secret to a long-lasting life. (That Emperor Quin was telling no lies, because a rubber booty hole really is the secret to longevity). Thinking they were a part of mushroom history, the villagers called their local TV station who sent a young reporter. As the villagers poked at the mushroom's moldy and rubber pussy lips in a bucket of water, the reporter went on and on describing all of its holes not knowing that wasn't the first time those mushroom's holes have been poked at. The segment is entirely real, entirely hilarious and it's what it looks like when Kim Kardashian's Chinese doctors examine her butt X-rays.
After the news station aired this mess, dozens of people called into the station to tell them that they've fucked that mushroom before and it's not something made of nature. The TV station apologized and blamed it all on the young reporter:
An open letter to all netizens and viewers: Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on. As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone. We'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!
致广大网友及观众的公开信：各位亲！昨晚我们的一条新闻让大家见笑了。这件事引发了大家的广泛关注、转发和评论。由于我们的记者还很年轻，不谙世事，在这条新闻中给大家带来了不适和误导！在此，我们衷心的感谢各位网友对我们节目的批评和指正。亲们，请原谅我们的一次疏忽吧。
The TV station tried to get a comment from the male villagers, but they were all locked up in a bathroom together with that mushroom.
That TV station better do a follow-up, because I want to know who in the hell buried that Fleshlight? Were his fap juices that stank that he had to bury his rubber side piece? You're not supposed to bury a rubber peen hugger. You're supposed to be hide it under your bed so your mom can accidentally discover it while cleaning out your room after you've left for college.
I can't wait for two things. I can't wait until these villagers find a mysterious rubber black pearl necklace and declare it as a priceless heirloom from the Qin dynasty. I also can't wait until the secret ingredient on Iron Chef is rubber mushroom anus.
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Orangina- it's the "innard' part of the Fleshlight which had a harder casing.
Story of the year!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
hahaha! that's the best laugh I've had in ages!! Hysterical! And how dumb are these people?! If you find something like that & you were utterly clueless, one tiny scratch on the surface would show it's not a mushroom or anything "real". Silly sausages! I bet it even has some kind of code stamped on it somewhere too - Made in China. ROFLMAO
Wait, so is it actually a fleshlight? The fleshlight ones are different, they actually look like a flashlight, like a dusguise. Wouldn't that be funny if there was a blackout and a guy could only find his flesh light, or if there was a blackout in a flesh light factory? Because I'm assuming a flesh light doesn't really work as a flashlight.
Sure, sure, blame it on the reporter. Just because she's never seen one before! Well played hos, but we know better... Hahahahahaa
"they were all locked up in a bathroom together with that mushroom" - LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I can't see the pic.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
there's something fishy about this story....
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Hell in Hello
there's something fishy about this story....
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Hell in Hello
ololololol.
Sweetas...ahaha.
that is fucking hysterical!
And I loved how she got all scientifical about its nutritional value!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Well, I think it's adorable that they don't recognize a sex toy when they see one. Ah, simple simple sweet villagers!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 11:00am.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
how could you not fucking know?!!!!??
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I had no idea what that was :D When I watched the video, I thought to myself- it kinda looks like a vagina, but hey, nature is weird.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 11:59am.
Muffroom
...seeks fun guy
Muffroom
My God! You can clearly see this thing has vagina. Oh that's right, dumb shit happens when baby girls are not welcome in China,
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Da Fuq? With obvious pussy lips, they couldn't tell that was a fake vag/fleshlight?
80mm deep? So like 3"? It was just begging to be found.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. No they did not.
Poor reporter. I just want to crawl in a hole (LOL), I'm so embarrassed for her.
The TV station tried to get a comment from the male villagers, but they were all locked up in a bathroom together with that mushroom."
This is why I read Dlisted every day. Priceless.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
how could you not fucking know?!!!!??
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
and this, people, i swhy I don't eat mushrooms! Sooo nastya!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I will have the vegetable Lo mein, hold the mushrooms, please!!! Barf. :P
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
LOL, Sorry I just read "the rest of the story" I must have skipped that part!
srsly, dick move to blame it on the reporter. the station still dispatched her and aired that shit
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
looks like something i puked up after a college everclear bender
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Who's kidding who here, one of these dudes was getting a little solo run behind the town well and when someone happened upon him he freaked out and threw it down the well.
I mean that thing HAS to be a sex toy and if it isn't the next news story will be about the extinction of the taisui mushroom.
None of the male villagers can be found because they're all out in the woods digging holes looking for more of these "magic" mushrooms.
Haven't these idiots ever felt rubber before?
What excuse does Bill OReilly have. I laughed heartily the other night when he played a clip "my producer found and this is the first time the Factor is uncovering this!" and his guest (Karl Rove) said "well your producer must watch TV because it's been played a hundred times today on other shows.". Oh the look on his face.
Typical China. Blame it on the girl. What, the camera guy couldn't pull her aside and say the "mushrooms" can be bought in areas of Beijing for $1?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.