The Shade Of It All

For weeks CBS tried to stop ABC’s Big Brother knock-off The Glass House from seeing the light of your TV screen. CBS felt like ABC pulled some copyright infringement shit by basically copying everything about Big Brother and hiring former BB producers. Those bitches at CBS tried everything. They went to a judge, tried to get a restraining order against ABC and even left a severed Mickey Mouse costume head in the beds of every ABC executive. It didn’t work. The Glass House aired on Monday, I watched it, I felt ashamed, I voted, I felt even more ashamed for voting and CBS is madder than ever. There’s not much CBS can do at this point except spill the tea. AND HOW! The C in CBS must stand for cunts, because they went all out in a fake press release where they announced their two new shows Dancing ON the Stars and Postermodern Family. This has to be the funniest thing CBS has ever produced. via Deadline:

CBS ANNOUNCES DEVELOPMENT OF “DANCING ON THE STARS,” AN EXCITING AND COMPLETELY ORIGINAL REALITY PROGRAM THAT OWES ITS CONCEPT AND EXECUTION TO NOBODY AT ALL

Los Angeles, June 21, 2012 – Subsequent to recent developments in the creative and legal community, CBS Television today felt it was appropriate to reveal the upcoming launch of an exciting, ground-breaking and completely original new reality program for the CBS Television Network.

The dazzling new show, DANCING ON THE STARS, will be broadcast live from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, and will feature moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize competing for big prizes by dancing on the graves of some of Hollywood’s most iconic and well-beloved stars of stage and screen.

The cemetery, the first in Hollywood, was founded in 1899 and now houses the remains of Andrew “Fatty” Arbuckle, producer Cecil B. DeMille, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Paul Muni, Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, George Harrison of the Beatles and Dee Dee Ramone of the Ramones, among many other great stars of stage, screen and the music business. The company noted that permission to broadcast from the location is pending, and that if efforts in that regard are unsuccessful, approaches will be made to Westwood Village Memorial Park, where equally scintillating luminaries are interred.

“This very creative enterprise will bring a new sense of energy and fun that’s totally unlike anything anywhere else, honest,” said a CBS spokesperson, who also revealed that the Company has been working with a secret team for several months on the creation of the series, which was completely developed by the people at CBS independent of any other programming on the air. “Given the current creative and legal environment in the reality programming business, we’re sure nobody will have any problem with this title or our upcoming half-hour comedy for primetime, POSTMODERN FAMILY.”

“After all,” the spokesperson added, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

There’s already a Dancing On the Stars. It’s called Lindsay Lohan forever tap dancing on Marilyn Monroe’s grave.

Okay, I love that CBS is putting the pain they feel in their chapped asses into words and I love the bitter bitchiness they’re throwing at ABC, but do they realize that they’re fighting over The Glass House. I’ve seen The Glass House. That piece of shit show isn’t worth fighting for. That’s like two day-shift hookers fighting over the worst corner on the ho stroll or two sluts fighting over a dude with erectile dysfunction. Besides, every show copies every show. Glee copied Kids Inc., Finding Bigfoot copied Khloe & Lamar, etc, etc…

That said, I’d totally watch both of CBS’ fake shows.