Hoda Kotb Might Get Ann Curry’s Job

Ann Curry is pretty much out as co-host of Today and NBC will move her into a fancier role as foreign correspondent any day now. Everybody knows this now, but nobody knows who will get to inhale huge amounts of musky smugness while sitting next to Matt Lauer. Many have said that Matt will set next to a boiled, bland rutabaga who goes by the name of Savannah Guthrie, but Radar says that isn’t happening. NBC has put several replacement possibilities in front of focus groups and they weren’t feeling it for Savannah. But they were feeling it for Kathie Lee Gifford’s partner in morning time drunkery Hoda Kotb. They all burp up hearts for Hoda and they think she should be pried away from Kathie Lee’s pinot-stained claws to host the first two hours of Today. A source put it like this:

“Hoda scores off the charts in focus groups, and the audience can relate to her.

Hoda has a hard news background but is extremely comfortable discussing pop culture issues. She just has a warmth that viewers find comforting. She was very public with her breast cancer battle, and allowed cameras to follow her during her cancer treatments on Today. Hoda is a team player, and is so well liked by everyone at the show, most importantly, Matt Lauer. They have a very easy rapport and mutual respect.

The problem with Savannah is that in focus groups, she just doesn’t score as high as Hoda does. NBC has been conducting focus groups to assist the network executives in determining who should replace Ann. Savannah is an extremely talented journalist, and she is extremely bright, but she only recently joined Today and viewers just aren’t as comfortable with her.”

I’ve always liked Hoda, because she’s the patient friend who will calmly listen to the drunk ramblings of ridiculousness that pour out of your booze hole. Every drunk bitch needs a friend like that and Kathie Lee has hers in Hoda. That’s why they can’t tear Hoda and Kathie Lee apart. They belong together like gin and juice, like drunks and disco fries, like cooking wine and Shasta (don’t act like you’ve never put those two together when you’re out of wine coolers)…

What is Kathie Lee’s drunk ass going to do without Hoda there to keep her in check? Kathie Lee’s just going to sit at that table, licking on a bottle of a wine, because she’s already so drunk that she forgot how to open one and is just going to lick through the glass to get to the delicious sweet nectar. Actually, that’s some shit I want to see. HIRE HODA!