The Photoshop Awards: Jenny McCarthy's "Elegant" Playboy Cover
Here's Miss Tits Against Vaccines herself Jenny McCarthy celebrating her upcoming 40th birthday by posing naked on her sixth cover of Playboy. From those Girls Just Wanna Have Fun gloves to the fact that Playboy dulled every single Photoshop tool while making this cover, this shit is a mess. But a bigger mess is Jenny using the words "class" and "elegant" to describe her "Photoshopped into another face" spread. Jenny barfed up this pile of LOLs to People:
"I'm really proud of it. The pictures are really gorgeous and classy. They could be out of W magazine. They're really elegant. It's probably a lot more sophisticated than a lot of the stuff you'd see of people with their clothes on."
The words "Jenny McCarthy" and "elegant" go together like the words "Jenny McCarthy" and "sane." The only way Jenny's spread could be described as "sophisticated" is if they covered her Joker face and body with a pink velvet blanket and laid Shauna Sand on top of her. Also, please tell me while Jenny posed nekkid ass nekkid in an air-conditioned studio, karma twirled in and blew a case of whooping cough right at her.
And I bet the classiest picture in the spread is the one of Jenny McCarthy flashing the message "Jim Carrey Hates Kids (Even More Than I Do!)" shaved into her full pube bush. Yes, Jenny shaved all those words into her bush. She's got a really wide bush.
• 
Jenny looks somewhat okay here but she still should never use the word "elegant". Plus, I want to know IF SHE KNOWS how much toxins and "chemicals" she allowed herself to sit through in the make-up session for this. Yet for the almighty buck she won't complain of neuro-imbalances due to heavy make-up/hair color of a proven and factual sort. No, of course not.
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by Preferred Username on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:45pm.
. . .HOOOO!!! (and cool points to you for the throwback Luda!)
I have always been perplexed about Jenny McCarthy supposed "hotness". Her forehead and chin are friggin MASSIVE! A large and prominent forehead/chin combo automatically lends a masculine quality to a woman's face. So she looks like a dude to me (from the neck up, obviously).
Anybody a fan of The Bad Girls Club? It's my guilty pleasure, and I'm recalling Natalie (I think it was the first or second season). She was a huge cunt and always acted like she thought she was SO hot. But this bitch had the most unfathomably enormous forehead and chin, and NO ONE EVER POINTED THIS OUT TO HER. And she was such a fucking irritating, manipulative bitch. I used get so pissed off, I'd be yelling at the TV screen "someone please just tell that bitch that she looks like Jay fuckin Leno!!!"
Aw, Migraineuse, I hate to hear that you're depressed. Don't let the androcentrism get you down! I do so enjoy your feminist rants. *sending good vibes to you*
If you are going to do red lips, you can't have overly made-up eyes or you look like a hooker! Nude Nitwit has that covered! She is wearing a pumpkin red that does not become her.
Wonder if she is wearing gloves because her hands look old? Vadge never leaves home without them.
Count me in as someone who could never really pull off red. If it's a "blueish" red, perhaps, but I still find it looks harsh on my delicate skin. I have deep brown hair, light greenish blue eyes and VERY fair skin with peachy undertones. I can't wear pink well neither.
Red Lipstick is ageless IMO, depending on the person. I am 29 and can't pull it off..not even in my early 20's. It IS harsh if it doesn't match up with your skin tone.
I rock red lipstick! It's my best shade. I'm nearly 42. I don't wear it too often 'cause it does get on my teeth. I always get compliments when I wear red anything.
I like Mac's Glam, Ruby Woo, and Revlon's Certainly Red and Cherries in the Snow. I got to wear blue/reds. I can't wear the orange/reds to corals.
I find blonde look washed out with red lipstick. I'm looking at you Taylor Swift!
The least this dipstick could do was match her lipstick with her nails if she was going the red way.
DElusional.
Is she against taking resperidol I wonder, cause skank might need it.
W Magazine? Unless W stands for "Whore".
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:18pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:01pm.
...
I think if you can rock red lipstick, rock it. Not everyone can. Not everyone can pull off long hair either or short skirts, regardless of age. If you can, do and ignore the haters...BUT know your limit. I mean, no one wanna see yo' old wrinkly 80 year old ass on the beach in a thong...ok, some people do, but they should not exist...
--
Somebody, please show this to Janice Dickinson! ☺ Ha!
**********************************
Oh SNAP!
************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:01pm.
...
I think if you can rock red lipstick, rock it. Not everyone can. Not everyone can pull off long hair either or short skirts, regardless of age. If you can, do and ignore the haters...BUT know your limit. I mean, no one wanna see yo' old wrinkly 80 year old ass on the beach in a thong...ok, some people do, but they should not exist...
--
Somebody, please show this to Janice Dickinson! ☺ Ha!
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Ugh, this dumb twat. If you have to keep telling people how classy and elegant you are, THEN YOU AREN'T.
I already want to beat her senseless for her bullshit yammering on vaccinations.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:34pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:51pm.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 1:50pm.
Secondly,
Bright red lipstick does not look becoming on women over 35.
****************
Not true.
I cannot stand this age cut off and age requirements society seems to have for women. No skirts over the knee past 30, no long hair after 40. no this, no that - nobody does that with men and it's women who set this stupid "rules". I'll wear red lipstick all I want and my toned body and good face will look FANFUCKINGTASTIC with it!
Uh, not picking on anyone but I see these "rules" everywhere and they are dumber than dumb.
********************
ITA. Rules were meant to be broken, anyway. XD
********************************************
I think if you can rock red lipstick, rock it. Not everyone can. Not everyone can pull off long hair either or short skirts, regardless of age. If you can, do and ignore the haters...BUT know your limit. I mean, no one wanna see yo' old wrinkly 80 year old ass on the beach in a thong...ok, some people do, but they should not exist...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:51pm.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 1:50pm.
Secondly,
Bright red lipstick does not look becoming on women over 35.
****************
Not true.
I cannot stand this age cut off and age requirements society seems to have for women. No skirts over the knee past 30, no long hair after 40. no this, no that - nobody does that with men and it's women who set this stupid "rules". I'll wear red lipstick all I want and my toned body and good face will look FANFUCKINGTASTIC with it!
Uh, not picking on anyone but I see these "rules" everywhere and they are dumber than dumb.
********************
ITA. Rules were meant to be broken, anyway. XD
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:51pm.
Not true.
I cannot stand this age cut off and age requirements society seems to have for women. No skirts over the knee past 30, no long hair after 40. no this, no that - nobody does that with men and it's women who set this stupid "rules". I'll wear red lipstick all I want and my toned body and good face will look FANFUCKINGTASTIC with it!
Uh, not picking on anyone but I see these "rules" everywhere and they are dumber than dumb.
Dr. Jenny McCarthy, M.D., Ph.D is an asshole.
_________________________________________________
I will say this again, and I have said it a thousand times. Women tend to be their own worst enemy. I say we do whatever the hell we want, wear whatever we want, and use lipstick at any age. Whatever. If other chicks dont like it, then OH WELL. This is not a slam on any particular person here, but I just really get frustrated with all the "up and down looks" I get at work, the comments on clothes, etc. I never see any of the guys doing that to each other. Why is that, you say? Because they dont GIVE A rat's behind. So, let us not care either!
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:24pm.
I dare y'all to watch her cinematic masterpiece "Dirty Love" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327643/ which also has Carmen Electra in a major role.
Words fail me to describe that artistic jewel. So instead i cite the head review comment on IMDB:
"I heard they used this to break prisoners at Guantanamo Bay"
--
__________________________________________________
Okay, this is just awesome. I saw this little jewel about two years ago. All I can say is "Ohhh my...". That scene where she is going through her "time of the month" and exhibiting "sypmptoms" all over a grocery store...not the best. For the longest time, my boyfriend would NEVER stop saying "touch my bass!". HA HA HA HA HA HA....
She looks like a naked $2 Donna Mills
============================================
makes me wanna email him offering to be his "sugar momma cougar beard"
Does anyone still buy Playboy magazine??
==========================================
Nope it's too lame. People want a little more raunch in their porn.
_________________________________________________________
HAHAHA- As Tom Hanks quoted in Bachelor Party, "I don't mean to complain, but I usually don't like my filth this clean".
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 4:23pm.
JTROS -- it is very difficult to find the perfect shade of red. I've searched for years. I don't wear red a lot, I used to wear it in the late 80's, Charles of the Ritz made a bright red called "Frankly Scarlet" that was the perfect red for me, but then I was off of the red lipstick. Now I wear a perfect peachy-pink lipstick by MAC called "Ravishing" which is my holy grail. But I'd been looking for a red, tried everything from MAC to Chanel, and finally found a red lipstick by Maybelline (believe it or not) called "Very Cherry" which is very flattering to me (I'm very pale with red hair). And yes, you can wear red lipstick with red hair.
================
Elizabeth Arden makes a pretty nice red lipstick - it's called Poppy Cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I dare y'all to watch her cinematic masterpiece "Dirty Love" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327643/ which also has Carmen Electra in a major role.
Words fail me to describe that artistic jewel. So instead i cite the head review comment on IMDB:
"I heard they used this to break prisoners at Guantanamo Bay"
--
Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 3:26pm.
mefun, all the models these days have their mouths hanging open. To me they look like mouth breathers, but apparently that is what is deemed as sexy in this culture (where is Migraineuse when I need her?).
_______________________________________
Howdy. Here I am. I'm just too depressed to comment. IrishFury's post was promising though.
The rules for women suck. The thing is, unless women follow the rules, they won't get the job / magazine cover / salary. This is not their fault, but the fault of the rule makers. Who deserve a big kick in the balls.
I've always found Jenny McCarthy annoying, but she's playing a part that she didn't write, and blaming her for it doesn't do any good.
That said, McCarthy is not doing kids any favors at all with this tinfoil-hat vaccine conspiracy shit.
*______________________________________*
I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
I really can't remember the last time I actually bought a Playboy mag...will look for "full bush" on line though.
Stupid ho on Singled Out and Former Jim Carey Golddigger Attention whore who posed nude on playboy=America's Sweetheart?
When was she "America's Sweetheart"?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by Athina on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:38pm.
I'm sure this is doing WONDERS for her autistic, fatherless son.
--------------------------------
her son is no longer autistic - she cured him. *MAJOR EYE ROLL*
this is photoshop at his best. and nice gloves whore. very classy. i can't stand this woman and i'd love to slap the shit out of her.
-----------------------------------------
"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Her face looks like she is sucking her gut in for all she is worth.
America's "sweetheart"? Since when?
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Oh yea!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
LOL Whamo, right? You just have to know who to talk to, to coordinate these things properly! hehehe
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
@JTROS... lol at the "derrr" comment.
----------
"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
JTROS -- it is very difficult to find the perfect shade of red. I've searched for years. I don't wear red a lot, I used to wear it in the late 80's, Charles of the Ritz made a bright red called "Frankly Scarlet" that was the perfect red for me, but then I was off of the red lipstick. Now I wear a perfect peachy-pink lipstick by MAC called "Ravishing" which is my holy grail. But I'd been looking for a red, tried everything from MAC to Chanel, and finally found a red lipstick by Maybelline (believe it or not) called "Very Cherry" which is very flattering to me (I'm very pale with red hair). And yes, you can wear red lipstick with red hair.
IF: I agree about the "rules". I know plenty of young women who should NOT wear minis and some gorgeous 40-somethings with super legs who do. Same with the red lipstick and long/short hair.
Really, if you can rock it, rock it. The thing is that some people don't realize when they can't...
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 3:19pm.
Whamo, don't EVEN pretend, you were looking at her sexy lips! But another pose would have been better though, don't you agree? I'd say: "Ardha-Uttansana" classy, no?! ;p
==========================================
I had to look that up and after doing so I would just like to say a big yes to Ardha-Uttansana.. I would very much like to see that to be quite honest with you:P
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 2:51pm.
I cannot stand this age cut off and age requirements society seems to have for women. No skirts over the knee past 30, no long hair after 40. no this, no that - nobody does that with men and it's women who set this stupid "rules". I'll wear red lipstick all I want and my toned body and good face will look FANFUCKINGTASTIC with it!
Uh, not picking on anyone but I see these "rules" everywhere and they are dumber than dumb.
----------------------------------
Agreed. What's with all the stupid rules? I hope when I'm 39 I look this good.
Her kid will know she's done Playboy before, so what's one or two more covers?
I finally figured out why Jenny looks like Kendra here: it's the open-mouthed "derrrr" face she's making.
Why do all these women: Jenny, Pam and Carmen always have to pose in playboy? Can they really not get their acts together and get a job? It's sickening to see them constantly doing the same thing over and over and over again. Get a life already. Second, I think Jenny looks fab here. I love the makeup, hair and her skin looks great even though it is probably photoshopped beyond the norm. She's never been fat and has never had a weight issue in my eyes. Anyone calling her fat is just jealous or retarded cause it definitely ain't true to begin with.
She looks eerily similar to that Kendra ho' in this photo.
Also - I cannot for the life of me find a shade of red lipstick I can wear. Probably because I generally don't wear more than chapstick, so when I try to put something bolder on I feel like a two-bit hooker. I have such a hard time with makeup. :(
TeamV, so they can just reprint the old copies then!? hahahaha
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
They can save on the photoshop, every Playboy reader has either Alzheimer's or cataracts by now.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by AGame on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 3:20pm.
ugh those gloves...
just noticed the "bunny" in the left hand glove. class it up!!
- - - - - -- - -
Ummm, I thought those were snags!
I bet her son is real PROUD!
I second justincase, seems like she's trying to get her ex's attention and team red lipstick is ageless minus little girls...red lipstick is more of a if you can pull it off thing b/c it's not for everyone(shade wise at least) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani
I laughed at "Joker face" because it's true. When they do the next Batman remake they should have her in it.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
not even with a stolen dick
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
mefun, all the models these days have their mouths hanging open. To me they look like mouth breathers, but apparently that is what is deemed as sexy in this culture (where is Migraineuse when I need her?).
The open-mouthed pose is pretty much the norm for glam/fashion photography. I first noticed this when reading an interview w Debbie Harry talking about emulating Marilyn Monroe's slightly parted pouts. And yeah, you'd be hard pressed to find a model whose lips aren't slightly open.
****************************************
"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Oh, come on. You can say all you want about her being horseyfaced, overdone, stupid, all of that. But FAT???? WTF? You can see her collarbones. I'm not saying she's underweight, but FAT???
The RIGHT shade of red lipstick for you is ageless, the wrong shade can do lots of damage (see pic above)
Her face is long, and they styled her hair long and thin, which makes her face look even longer, so she looks like a horse.
I know many people like women to be starving thin, but this woman is nowhere NEAR plus sized.
I know that isn't her body, it's been ps'd to all hell, but I would KILL kittens for those proportions.
Also, could someone ask her to stop posing with her mouth open please?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
ugh those gloves...
just noticed the "bunny" in the left hand glove. class it up!!
------------------
what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
Whamo, don't EVEN pretend, you were looking at her sexy lips! But another pose would have been better though, don't you agree? I'd say: "Ardha-Uttansana" classy, no?! ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Harpo, who dis woman?
Looks nothing like the flare-nostrilled beyotch known as Jenny McCarthy.
She must be insanely jealous of Kate Upton!! What a drag it is getting old!!
******************************
Where the fuck is James Haven hiding???