Anthony Davis Is Trademarking His Glorious Unibrow
Former Hot Slut of the Day and college basketball star Anthony Davis has an immaculate single brow of gorgeousness and if he tried to protect his natural work of hairy art by covering it with tweezer-proof glass, I wouldn't call him unreasonable. But Anthony is taking shit way too far and thinks he's the only ho who has ever grown a unibrow (insert your bertsideye.jpeg here). CNBC says that Anthony will most likely get picked up by the New Orleans Hornets in the NBA Draft this Thursday and since he's about to go pro, he's protecting his greatest asset: the wings of glory over his eyes. Anthony registered the likeness of his brow hair and is trademarking the phrases "Fear The Brow" and "Raise The Brow." It is way too late for this kind of fuckery. And if you're reading this in the morning, then let me just say that it's way too early for this kind of fuckery.
Anthony's unibrow is as important to this country as Mary Hart's legs and he thinks it's one of a kind:
“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”
Anthony Davis' unibrow looks like a powerful bird gliding into the sunset, but he needs to step out of the world where he thinks he's the only one with two brows in one. The world is full of unibrows and even Khloe Kardashian can grow one in a day if she doesn't wax that shit every other hour.
Anthony better watch it with that "I am the creator of the unibrow" shit. Because if he doesn't, the ghost of Frida Kahlo will float into his room while he sleeps, slather Nair on his masterpiece unibrow and softly cackle as she disappears into the air. Fear the Frida.
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)