Chris Evans Is A Puppy Appreciator
Captain America Chris Evans, seen here making a chihuahua empanada with his mom Lisa Evans, told Women's Health all the things a lady needs in order to get down into his chonies on a regular basis. So if Captain America fills your panties with red, white and blue crotch pudding, go through his check list to see if you could be the next Mrs. Evans. (SPOILER ALERT: If you're a brown-headed ho from Boston who's got a string of floss between her teeth, a tear on her cheek from staring at a baby and a puppy in her arms, please step to the front of the line)
1. Finish this sentence: Women don't understand how much men want to. . .
Watch football on Sundays. And I know a lot of women who don't understand that the whole day is going to be dedicated to football. That's all we ask!2. What might be a surprise to learn about you?
I'm a pretty decent tap dancer. I enjoy all types of dancing, actually. I get a couple of drinks in me and I stand up—it just happens.3. What qualities make a woman marriage material?
I really like women who get emotional about babies and puppies. I've met some incredibly cool women who are tough, but the woman you marry should have a really soft side.4. The ultimate turnoff is. . .
Arrogance and fake modesty. Nothing is worse than a beautiful girl fishing for compliments by saying how gross she is. On the flip side, I find genuine humility and modesty attractive.5. Should girls play hard to get?
Oh God, I hate that! Nope, nope, nope. I just don't like games in general.Fast Talk
Blonde, brunette, or redhead?
Brunette. No question about it.The sexiest women always remember to. . .
Floss.I'd rather _____ than ______.
Be in Boston than Los Angeles.Relationship must-have?
The love of dogs.
Two things I learned from this post are that the Captain America sequel needs a big tap dancing number and that Chris Evans gets to touch face cheeks with THIS:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Side-eye, tongue out, YES!
• 
My husband has learned the hard way--disturb me when there's American Football or Rugby on and pay.
That being said, I like my dogs to be able to survive the zombie apocalypse and not be eaten.
And Thor all the way. I don't care if he's derp in the head. He is fine.
--
Like a boss.
i dont care if he has a cocaine problem or is a major douche, if he looks like that hottie captain america, id just him douche all over me.
My sister's pug, Zoey, had a tongue that always stuck out like that chihuahua. Her face looked so much like that dog in the picture. I loved being her Aunt. She's in doggy heaven now and I miss her sooooo much...*cries*
i want him to pound me like a piece of veal
OmFg yes I logged out andthen logged back in - That damn touch-cheeks inset of the puppy is goddamn G.O.L.D.E.N. omg Love!!!!! xo MK for that chihuahua inset, lol.
/outtttt gnite all Happy Friday/Weekend. Be safe. Stay well.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
That's his MOM???????? If she isn't plastic-surgeried to death, that's where he got his good genes from.
Since when does the Dark Lord of the Undead respond to human emotions? If Kunty Karl is going to start caring about human feelings, then there's really no hope for cuntkind. I'll have to start calling him Karing Karl. The end of days, indeed. - MK
There is a BIG DIFFERENCE between Momma's Boy
and a MAN that loves and respects his mother.
Marry a MAN that loves and respects his mother and
you married a man that will love and respect you.
Marry a BOY that puts his Mom first and foremost
and is a grown BOY--he will always put his mother before you.
Jack, you are the later a Man that loves and respects his Mom. I'd lay money on it.
That dog is perfection <33
Chris is nice but lol this isn't a chat over beers with his buds, those answers were packaged for the audience ahhahaha
Now get over here and get naked Capt. America! No more talking! ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I think this guy is - well - kind of cheeky and odd. Whatever.
Totally PR stuff, way too wholesome. That said… PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I read that he has a problem with drugs. The white powder to be exact.
(973) Jersey Strong
J. Harvey HAI!! *waves like a goon*
OT, I like a man to be close to his mom, so that he respects women. Not she still does his laundry/packs his lunch close though, blech.
Submitted by ethang on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:53pm.
Thanks, ethang...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Love the chi, not impressed with the dude.
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
The puppy is adorable! Chris is very meh to me.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Submitted by luvmehateme on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:09pm.
You ladies like a MOMMA'S boys...really?
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I don't. At all. Best man I ever dated hated his mother, and for good reasons.
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We've...met...?
Tell Chris I'll be right the fuck over. I'm brunette, in Boston, and I will cry on a thousand fucking babies. And puppies. I will drown them with my tears.
Cute little puppy.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:09pm.
You ladies like a MOMMA'S boys...really?
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I don't. At all. Best man I ever dated hated his mother, and for good reasons.
"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
And I hope he's careful when his drunk ass goes tap-dancing (I read lap-dancing at first too, LOL) around the house with that poor little doggie underfoot!
So, he's Captain America, Mr. Wholesome puppy-cuddler, who just wants a sweet, clean-gummed, Bostonian, brown-haired girl to have his adorable babies with and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER? I really have to wonder why he remains single.
Because it's bullshit. Dude is probably douchier than John Mayer, just plays PR better.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 4:07pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:48pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
*sends Whamo a hug and some treats for Kitteh Uno
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:) he likes those Temptations Treats, I don't know WTF they put in those but just like the commercials he goes BATSHIT for those things lol!
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catnip? meth?
Hmm...those seem pretty reasonable to me. False modesty is incredibly annoying. I love watching football on Sundays, though (not Saturdays; college FB doesn't do it for me).
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:48pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
*sends Whamo a hug and some treats for Kitteh Uno
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:) he likes those Temptations Treats, I don't know WTF they put in those but just like the commercials he goes BATSHIT for those things lol!
Submitted by bloodsicle on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:40pm.
Trying too hard to be wholesome. I'm surprised he didn't mention apple pie, for fuck's sake.
he's Captain America!! The apple pie goes without saying!!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by bloodsicle on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:40pm.
Trying too hard to be wholesome. I'm surprised he didn't mention apple pie, for fuck's sake.
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Agree. He doesn't cut it for me either. But yeah, puppies are a must, I was kinda dating this guy and he's about ''kids before dogs'' so finally, I ended it on an intimate level but we're still friends, we really are. He's cool. Irreconcilable differences ;) what can you say?
* I has two dogs, and he liked them okay, but don't want kids. Personal choice.
I don't like stupid small yip dogs like this. That look like a squeezy-toy with their eyes bulging out.
Chris is cute, though. I am brunette and from Boston originally and floss and don't play games but old enough to be his mother. Plus, I'm married.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
WHY'D MK POST THIS SACCHARINE SHIT? IT'S BORING. DLISTER'S GETTING ALL MISTY ABOUT THEIR MOMS AND STUFF. BLECCH.
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:50pm.
And why is he posing with his mother like that? Did they get married and adopt that stupid dog together?
*****
PUPPEH NUTZ STOOPID, HATER
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:39pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:30pm.
There is a happy medium, though.
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This is where my relationship is with my mom... we are very close, have always told each other everything but neither one of us are afraid to speak our mind/piss the other one off if it comes down to it... I consider myself a momma's boy, but my mom accepts everything I choose to do in my life as long as *I* am happy... she is freakin AWESOME.
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Jack, that's very sweet.
That pup has more derp than a Duggar but he's the cutest doggums in the world.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Ummm, WHO is this? Captain America? They couldn't hire an actor that had some hair, and not this Matt Lauer lookin mofo?
And why is he posing with his mother like that? Did they get married and adopt that stupid dog together? That's the most pansy-ish thing I have ever seen, and a huge turn-off. Mama's boys are the worst.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:32pm.
Those are stupid questions and even stupider answers. Gah. How sappy. And posing with his mom AND dog was overkill. Bleccch.
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You're sooo right...I don't buy it for second. Tell it to Taylor Swift.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:42pm.
*sends Whamo a hug and some treats for Kitteh Uno
Let it be KNOWN I LOVE DOGGGGIES, I just don't have one. I had a few as a kid one of which was Tippy my Border Collie and he was the bestest doggie a boy could have I LOVED that dog.
I lived out in the country and me and Tipp went EVERYWHERE together so :P
And yes I also LOVE my little UNO who is the bestest KITTY in the world.
AS WELL...I am NOT a momma's boy by ANY stretch of the imagination...so you know...call me:P
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:09pm.
You ladies like a MOMMA'S boys...really?
NO. but one who has a good healthy relationship with his mother is good, especially one where he respects her place in his life, and she trusts him to make smart choices and supports him 100% in those choices.
Those generally make good husbands if he doesn't have some sort of vice.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Trying too hard to be wholesome. I'm surprised he didn't mention apple pie, for fuck's sake.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:30pm.
There is a happy medium, though.
----------------
This is where my relationship is with my mom... we are very close, have always told each other everything but neither one of us are afraid to speak our mind/piss the other one off if it comes down to it... I consider myself a momma's boy, but my mom accepts everything I choose to do in my life as long as *I* am happy... she is freakin AWESOME.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Hekki, I'm glad you found it. Between my daddy issues and the hub's mommy issues, it's a miracle we're still married.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Those are stupid questions and even stupider answers. Gah. How sappy. And posing with his mom AND dog was overkill. Bleccch.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:09pm.
You ladies like a MOMMA'S boys...really?
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Well I'm a gay boy and I'm a Momma's boy, so yes. However, I can see why women would be a little apprehensive.
Submitted by Deb: "Not necessarily a momma's boy, but it is better if the guy has a good relationship with his mother.
Believe me, I found this out the hard way. If he is resentful or bitter at mom, the rest of us bitches pay. Guaranteed."
Truly.
There is a happy medium, though.
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:07pm.
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WHAMSTER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT PUPPEH CAUSE HE'S A KITTEH PERSON.
I SEE. NEITHER DOES DOM CORBEALONE;-)
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* whispers * Whamo has a kitteh called Uno who sleeps in his bed and he's obviously ANTI-CANINE!
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ANTI-CANINE????????????!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????? HOW CAN ANYONE HATE DOGS! *STOMPS FOOT
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:14pm
1) my dogs do the bitch slapping for me
2) I want what you're having...
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" I don't care what anybody says about me, as long as it isn't true."
Dorothy Parker
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:13pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:11pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:07pm.
==========
WHAMSTER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT PUPPEH CAUSE HE'S A KITTEH PERSON.
I SEE. NEITHER DOES DOM CORBEALONE;-)
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* whispers * Whamo has a kitteh called Uno who sleeps in his bed and he's obviously ANTI-CANINE!
I bet he's heard so many inane repetitious questions from reporters that he just makes pulls random answers right out of his ass. Or decides beforehand to be in character. I bet it's all B.S.,every word he says.
Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:13pm.
There is no canine in that picture.
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THERE IS SO BEEYOTCH. DON'T MAKE ME SLAP YOU.
Haaaanggg on a cotton pickin' minute - isn't he the guy that all the blind items about a massive coke slore is all about - I call wanking bullshit
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Certified Slore
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:09pm.
You ladies like a MOMMA'S boys...really?
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Not necessarily a momma's boy, but it is better if the guy has a good relationship with his mother.
Believe me, I found this out the hard way. If he is resentful or bitter at mom, the rest of us bitches pay. Guaranteed.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
There is no canine in that picture.
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" I don't care what anybody says about me, as long as it isn't true."
Dorothy Parker