So I Guess Tommy Girl And Stepford Katie Had One Of Those Short-Term Contracts
Katie Holmes and Suri are finally FREE AT LAST! This mess just in from People:
After five years of marriage, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.
"This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family," says Holmes's attorney Jonathan Wolfe. "Katie's primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter's best interest."
Every Scientologist just dropped the dick out of their mouth. Tommy Girl and Katie haven't been photographed together in what feels like eons, but I really thought they had at least 5 more years of fakery since nothing keeps a marriage going like a contract written in your own blood. NOTHING IS SACRED anymore, not even fake marriages. Brace yourselves, because we're going to be hearing about this for months or until Tommy eventually gets himself another beard wife. Then we'll do this all over again. My money's on Rooney Mara. She's young, and she looks like an alien AND a boy. Get that beard, Tommy!
Here's Katie looking like cold hell on the outside (but probably couch jumping on the inside) while leaving her NYC apartment with Suri the other day.
• 
Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:43pm.
like one time i was really down on myself much like katie, and then some guy banged me and I walked back home smiling.
Submitted by how dare you on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:47pm.
Submitted by SFRB on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:43pm.
OOH MY! So Suri's birth certificate has a date that is BEFORE the date of the marriage? If so, I made a mistake. Hmmm, what's gonna happen now?
--------
MMM-mmm. And it was shady, late filing, odd signatures, remember? http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/
--------------------
Ohmahgah thanks for the reminder!!
♫♪♪Shaaaaady♫♫!!
LAAAAAAAAAAAWDOGGGGGGGG!!
You're the only Dlisted smartypants canine who can come to our rescue! Where you be?
Lenis McPenis, where are you? You got your law degree from University of Nancy Grace! We need you!
THE DEVIL IS DANCIN TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I grew into my own nose after the age of 17. lol. Hopefully it won't take her that long.
Thank fuck for that! Maybe now she'll get her personality back.
I don't think this is anything but PR that gets the attention off of John Travolta, who looked pretty happy being kinda out at the Savages premiere. Giving Scientology time to get him back in line, IMO.
Submitted by SFRB on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:43pm.
OOH MY! So Suri's birth certificate has a date that is BEFORE the date of the marriage? If so, I made a mistake. Hmmm, what's gonna happen now?
--------
MMM-mmm. And it was shady, late filing, odd signatures, remember? http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/
In honor of the Emancipation of Katiebot I'd like to resurrect this quotable gem from our own MK:
"I can already hear whores screaming about how these young Hollywood sluts don't take the sanctity of marriage seriously anymore. NEWS FLASH! Nobody takes the sanctity of marriage seriously anymore. That's why the sanctity of marriage gave up, moved to Reno and now works the 1am-6am shift at strip club under the name Sanctitty Mirage."
TommyGirl you had us at, "are you kidding with this sham marriage & fake daddy."
Cue Up the Next Divorce: Will Smith or Travolta
_____________________________________________________
"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:43pm.
AAA likes to be polite, thats why Ah says Lady Horny. :P
if katie got some dick, she would be like that woman in that Clairol ad, all the sudden girlfriend would walk out of the house with a bright smile, glistening eyes and wind in her hair as she walked.
getting a good screw can do wonders lol
I don't think that's Josh Hartnett's kid. Suri has a pretty big nose for a little girl. Couldn't come from a Kate/Josh combo. Look at Tom Cruise's nose.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:00pm.
Fuck it, I'll beard for him for 10 years as long as he doesn't want another child. Live in separate houses, never have sex, never see each other - but get my millions. I fail to see the problem here.
---------------
I was thinking the same thing! Sounds like a good deal to me. I wouldn't GAF who he does sex to and I am pretty sure he wouldn't GAF who I do sex to so...
...happily ever after!
Texn - I can't locate the video. Did Xenu have it removed from the interwebs?
Didn't she convert to Scientology?
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:41pm.
Michael K cue up that horrible video of her singing "Fever" to him and their eye rolling sexy dance. Out of every video you have posted since blogspot days it's the one I remember most having to click off out of horror.
--------------------------------------
OMG, that WAS terrifying!! He had absolutely no interest in her.
I didn't think she would grow the ovaries to do it! Good for her! She only looked happy in that relationship for about three months and then miserable the rest of it.
Submitted by how dare you on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by SFRB on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:03pm.
What would make this EPIC is if Tommy girl and the CO$ try to take Suri from her, ala Kidman. And she has DNA testing revealed the Tom is not Suri's biological father, therefore has no rights as a parent.
--------------------
Nope - he's presumed, and since they were married when she had Suri, he DOES have rights!
Where's Lawdog? She's a lawyer (yes she really is because I have seen her at the courthouse, we may work for the same county) and I know she would know!
______________
They were married in Nov 2006. Suri was allegedly born the previous April.
--------------------------------
OOH MY! So Suri's birth certificate has a date that is BEFORE the date of the marriage? If so, I made a mistake. Hmmm, what's gonna happen now?
Loopy- that's the 2nd time this week that I've seen you write 'lady horny' qnd it cracks me up every fucking time. I don't know why. I usually tell my hubby that I've got a case of the 'hornys'. I'm with you, though when it comes to the beards. These women better be getting some good dick on the side because I'd be angry as fuck if I weren't getting mine on the regular. I think that's why Katie always looks so blank, lifeless and lost. She needs someone to come by and clear the cobwebs out! Knock the dust off, take out the trash, etc!
Well, Nicole requested shared legal custody and full physical and we know what happened there. I am sure things are different in this situation due to Katie's father. Hopefully anyway. They need to get this child out of the limelight of phtographers all of the time and some stability in her life.
Michael K cue up that horrible video of her singing "Fever" to him and their eye rolling sexy dance. Out of every video you have posted since blogspot days it's the one I remember most having to click off out of horror.
It's about time! Welcome back to the real world Katie. Let's see if she goes on to win an Oscar like Nicole Kidman did. You know that shut gets up Tom's ass. All the blockbusters in his resume, and he's never had an Oscar.
She probably filed for custody cause she saw what happened with Connor and Isabella when Tom got custody of them. Now maybe Suri will turn out half way normal.
-----------------------
"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Damn, this is the best day for celebrity gossip since Britney first donned the pink wig!!!!
I am soooo waiting to see how this plays out...and I can't she had the balls to ask for sole legal and physical custody. Holy shit.
All glee aside though...Suri is going to be used as a pawn. These two are gonna make Halle Berry look sane.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by moonmaid on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:34pm.
yeah, after he finished with the bathroom 45 minutes after, he opened the door in this thong, and katie was standing at the door fuming, and he said "girl dont gimme that look, dont be a hater, dont hate your husband for getting dick cuz u cant get dick...and oh you have ugly shoes"
and that set off the chain reaction, and katie put some makeup on, tuck her fringe behind her ears, marched to the bedroom and yelled "im divorcing you tom!!!"
and caught tommy by surprise, his eyes bulged and he he actually took a bite of the escort's dick. and the escort had to knock his head and yell, "TEEEETTTHHH"
Submitted by innuendo on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:36pm.
http://www.tmz.com/2012/06/29/tom-cruise-katie-holmes-divorce-custody-su...
she filed and wants sole custody. as i was saying, car accident in 3... 2... 1...
********************************************************************
The Sole Custody didn't surprise me... it was the statement that "Tom didn't see this coming"...
Oh really Tom? Really???? Just like Tom fucked over Nicole after 10 years of marriage, Tom gets fucked by Katie after 5 years.
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by how dare you on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:27pm. I'd swear that in the Kidman divorce, Cruise's people implied that he was sterile and that Kidman's miscarriage was "what she did."
***
You are right, they hinted through several media outlets that Nicole had an affair with Ewan MacGregor and that she was pregnant with his child and that's what had broken up the marriage. Hence the TC quote "Nic knows what she did." in response to Nicole's claims she was blindsided by the divorce. Ewan had to come out in several interviews and refute being the cause of their divorce.
Maybe her family had her kidnapped and deprogrammed. Something woke her up.
MK, Adele is Preggers and she dropped an OVER THE MOON bomb in her press release!
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
TMZ says she filed, Tommygirl was blindsided, and there is "nastiness" involved. OOOga
Ohhh noooo! i think I'm gonna cry! Is love dead?
They were NOT married when she had Suri, she was at the wedding!!!! She had Suri sometime in late Jan Feb, they were married in Nov., and since she's not biologically his I'd think he would have had to adopt her.
"It's a bowl of bullshit with chip scraps"
Submitted by Solaera on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:23pm.
Anyone else think that all of the John Travolta gossip had some bearing on Katie finally pulling the plug on the marriage? No one can stay in the closet forever, not these days anyway. If I were a beard I'd want out before my husband was caught up in the inevitable scandal. Too embarrassing.
*****************************************************************
You know something, @Solaera, you might have a point.
I'm looking at Kelly Preston and she can barely keep the farce going. I think Kate realized she didn't want to become Kelly Preston.
You have a very good insight. *s* Thanks!
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
http://www.tmz.com/2012/06/29/tom-cruise-katie-holmes-divorce-custody-su...
she filed and wants sole custody. as i was saying, car accident in 3... 2... 1...
Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:29pm.
see that picture of a gaunt women with no life in her eyes?
this is that same woman 5 years ago right before she married him: http://www.dailymakeover.com/appImages/galleryImages/celebrity_hairstyle...
good on her for getting the fck out.
----------------------------------------
She has dead eyes.
Poor thing. He and Xeno sucked her soul right out, man.
I bet he and his lil side pieces of manbeef are doing that same Oprah couch jump.
_______________________________________
I do the occasional drive by posting...
but i will always have the heart of being
a durty heauxbag that is an ass up hair flipper
with broken boot moves!!
Holy shit, folks...sit back, buckle in and get comfy. This is going to be one hell of a ride.
Okay, I'm gonna say that the fact that she has the child with her while the divorce is being announced is a very good sign. Like, little bitch this be MY kid!
Give me back my goddamn HELMET!
Sorry, but unlike Kidman who actually fought for her kids the first few years after her divorce, I think that KH agreed for TommyGirl to get Suri at the end of their split from the start and couldn't care less of she will be raised in that evil cult. That's why I can't stand that cunt.
------------------------------------------------------
Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Submitted by SFRB on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:03pm.
What would make this EPIC is if Tommy girl and the CO$ try to take Suri from her, ala Kidman. And she has DNA testing revealed the Tom is not Suri's biological father, therefore has no rights as a parent.
--------------------
Nope - he's presumed, and since they were married when she had Suri, he DOES have rights!
Where's Lawdog? She's a lawyer (yes she really is because I have seen her at the courthouse, we may work for the same county) and I know she would know!
______________
They were married in Nov 2006. Suri was allegedly born the previous April.
plus the male escort gave her attitude and told her, she had ugly shoes. that really pissed her off.
LOL - I could totally see that happening!
Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:24pm.
As for pictures, I wonder now if Katie wasn't setting up all those photo-ops this past spring and summer for good pr, legal fights. I think she has been looking for the right jump-off time for a while. My guess is that she has some other evidence on Tom, possibly compromising. My guess is that Tommy has some of his own talking massage therapists.
Life is too short to live it any way other than the way one wants to live it. Katie has been unhappy for YEARS but I blame the bitch for being so easily bought off. I would now be concerned about Suri. She has the Cruise beak which leads me to deduce that she is more like Tom than Katie. That's gonna be tough to live with as Suri grows older and more independent. I really don't have much sympathy for the foolish beard wives. All I can say is, get yours and get OUT. Leave John to his bathhouses. Where/how/who is Top Gay getting it from??? Sure as hell hasn't been the bot in years.
Joey is Katie's best acting gig, dawson's creek, prior to her winning the job of tommy's beard.
and LMAOOOOO @ at drinking JT's cum like mayo.
--------------------------
OMFG How did I miss that- when you said Joey I picture Joey from Friends... my head aint on right today.
And yea @ JT's cum/mayo thing. My ex was a stupid bastid. It's all good though, I'm moving forward, and finally feel like I can be me again.
_______________________________________
I do the occasional drive by posting...
but i will always have the heart of being
a durty heauxbag that is an ass up hair flipper
with broken boot moves!!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri
Tom seemingly being a reliable and loving Dad to the child isn't what makes him "the bad guy". In fact, that may be his only endearing quality in my eyes.
I also don't think that she ran to him. His agent had her audition for a "movie role". I think she was nieve.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:28pm.
Xenu is NOT amused. First Revolta's scandal, then Lisa Marie fleeing, now this! Miscavige is jumping up and down like a gnome on a mushroom at this time.
*****************************************************************
I agree. Scientology is about to implode.
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
whoever didn't see this coming doesn't have a pulse like Katie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
GET MONEY BITCH!
Travolta prolly gave her a private jet to bust this shit out early. He can't even talk in public anymore, poor thang.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:25pm.
KatieBot is now free to collect child support from Chris Klein or Josh Harnett...whichever is that kid's daddy.
XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxFxxxxxxxx
It takes big news to bring out the Stock Broker. Where havE you been?
re: Suri's daddy... I dunno, that last thumb has Tom's facial profile written all over it.
I'd like to use this double-post boner to remind you that Tommygirl's petite feet fit into Suri's heels now, and Suri was taught how to read and write by Katie because Suri is NOT under contract and can crayon a tell all book!
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 2:03pm.
What would make this EPIC is if Tommy girl and the CO$ try to take Suri from her, ala Kidman. And she has DNA testing revealed the Tom is not Suri's biological father, therefore has no rights as a parent.
--------------------
Nope - he's presumed, and since they were married when she had Suri, he DOES have rights!
Where's Lawdog? She's a lawyer (yes she really is because I have seen her at the courthouse, we may work for the same county) and I know she would know!
waiting for katie's tragic car accident/katie's unexpected mindboggling suicide/katie's accidental drug overdose tbh