Hot Slut Of The Day!
Wil Heuser, a 24-year-old golden Adonis beauty from Louisville, KY who will temporarily blind the other house guests on the new season of Big Brother US by blowing flecks of gold dust in their eyes when he whips his luxurious mane back and forth. When Big Brother (or as most of you call it, "How is that shit still on?!" starts again next week, the house guests will all learn the answer to the question "Do unicorn fairy stallions exist in real life?" when Wil gallops to the front of the house with a cloud of bronze glitter floating behind him. There you were thinking that masculine beauty like this only exists in Greek myths, on top of a go go box at a gay bar circa 1992 or in an International Male catalog.
Wil is a "marketing consulting," but that's obviously just a modest and professional way of saying that he's bright shining star, because Wil was on American Idol 8 for a quick second, has a pop single called "Glitter on the Dancefloor" and has his own YouTube channel where he parodies another national jewel: Tan Mom. Wil talked to Zap2it a couple of days ago and during that interview he let it be known that lady nipples will never feel the magical tingling sensation of his glorious hair cape brushing against them, because he's strictly dickly. I know, that shocking news probably made you jump out of your vagina. Once you get back into your vagina, feast your eyes and other parts on this:
It's like if DanRad and Jennifer Aniston made a baby together and that baby later fulfilled his lifelong dream of becoming a Fabio impersonator. Or it's like if Legolas from Lord of the Rings bought all of Gerardo's old clothes in a yard sale and became a gay pop star. Perfection. I really hope that the BB live feed is nothing but Wil brushing his hair over and over again.
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Marcia Brady meets Fabio.
Damn, I love Wil, he's been doing vids for years. He knows to laugh at himself, his bro is cute dont know if he is gay also. How did Michael K not know about him, he is all over the place with his mom jeans.
DAAANNNGGG. Boy was cute until he smiled. Now I just hear Dueling Banjos in my head whenever I look at him.
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She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
~Oscar Wilde
He looks like he's pooing out a hand.
I'm crying laughing and the pic of him "singing" WTF is he wearing???? LMFAO!!!
The third thumb makes me think he has two or three broken down cars on the end of his driveway, a 45 gallon "fire drum" for burning garbage on the front lawn and a swing set with every swing busted sitting at the side of the house.
I'll pass. There isn't enough duct tape in the world to keep his purse from falling out of his mouth.
Ugh. This is what passes for hot in Kentucky.
Girlfriend & being interviewed by a Jon Cryer clone no less! Great hair. He looks like a circa 70s rocker.
Hexe - ha ha!! I was going to say that thumbnail is the stuff of nightmares!
blonde Steve Perry....?
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God don't like ugly.
Right-click thumb #3, copy to clipboard, enlarge in Photoshop, and print: and now I have a stencil for this year's jack-o-lantern. Sweet!
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Looks like a kid rock impersonator, but in any case looks gayer than manilow and elton john put together (or more likely the artistic director for the photo shoot). Isn't chrissy crocker from that neck of the woods?
As to legolas, I think I have said this before, but lord of the rings made torch song trilogy look like a billy graham revival. It goes without saying, but legolas was the femme and the dwarf was the butch.
Let's face it, the halls of moria was a leather-only sausage party, and gollum--who's he trying to kid with his thong and man on man wrestling. Then we have the hot whip-wielding ballrog who goes S&M with gandalf. And the elves--did anybody see a hair out of place or non-coordinated accessories when they got together.
Frodo was both the femme and a chubby chaser, and gandalf a chicken chaser.
Lady Arwen was bearding for aragorn, and wasn't galadriel fish sticks? Nobody cares about her kinks.
And how about that scene where pippin or merry is dining with the orally fixated denathor? Not to mention that the dude gollum encountered in the dark was named bilbo, and asked what he had in his hand...
I can't live without your, Love and affection! I can't face another ni--, oh, wait? This isn't one the Nelson twins' "lost" brother??? That's all I see is a 90's band re-born...
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No means No dammit.
He is good looking, there was just a really bad picture of him smiling at an awkward angle. He could benefit from some cosmetic dentistry (like most celebrities do) and get veneers or something done to brighten up his smile and improve the appearance of his teeth & smile. He has a cute personality.
What a dumb cluck...boring, too.
Poor dude. He looks ridiculous but he doesn't seem to know it. Maybe he'll read this.
that first thumbnail is the personification of this:
It's like if DanRad and Jennifer Aniston made a baby together and that baby later fulfilled his lifelong dream of becoming a Fabio impersonator.
(that third thumbnail is just fucking frightening.)
i laughed so hard, i just had a mini asthma attack.
That third thumbnail is the same person? He looks like an inbred when he smiles.
It would suck to be him and read these comments! You guys are cruelly hilarious.
I gotta give this hooker props for the glue gun/pants thingie. When I was first out of college and waiting tables at a chi-chi restaurant to make ends meet, I needed to superglue the crotch of my tux pants 15 minutes before showing up for my shift. (needles, sewing machines and anything crafty...not gonna happen) Nothing like pouring a a glass of 50 dollar chard while having your taint exfoliated with a self-made sand blaster.
That said, I couldn't make it to the two minute clip on this video.
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
I'm getting a "Nelson twins on 'roids" vibe from him.
"Every time an asshole signs off with 'love and light,' hate and darkness eats a kitten." -MK
Submitted by marinara on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 5:46pm.
He has a hand growing out of his bottom ...
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Thats exactly what I thought
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 3:49pm.
I give it a month before his oxycontin addiction is announced.
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Yep - then its off with him to florida.
It's like if DanRad and Jennifer Aniston made a baby together and that baby later fulfilled his lifelong dream of becoming a Fabio impersonator.
lol maybe he'll get a margarine endorsement out of this.
I got hung-up on the junkyard too. It looks like a junkyard but it's so clean and shiny.
The most disturbing thing about this whole post is that there is such a thing as welovebigbrother.com. WTF? Who even watches that, much less goes to a website to watch these peeple 24/7??
Is he standing in a junkyard in thumbnails 7 and 8?
I can't believe thumbnails #1 and #3 are of the same person. Motherfucking TwoFace!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Submitted by Miss Malevolent on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 1:36pm.
Ur rite. I've had some experiences with lesbians who were doing their damndest to convince me that I could be "converted," but you bet they would have been really offended if a dude had said the same thing to them.
Either way, if you claim you can "turn" someone gay or straight, you're just masturbating your own ego. "Oh, I'm so hot and sexy! I can turn people gay/straight!"
As for this dude, I like long natural hair, not this coiffed 90s surfer look he's got. Also, he needs to never smile, ever. It turns him from gayish popster into a Spears cousin instantly.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I can't stop laughing at this.
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 1:32pm.
OMG, once he smiles, it's all over. He goes from Romance Novel Cover Guy to "YEE HAW! Where's the oxycontin at, y'all? in one second flat.
A worthy contestant for BB.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
what an ugly motherfucker.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
"He looks like someone`s inbred uncle, who sleeps on the couch all day and smells his own farts."
LMAO!!!!!
Thats a whole lotta derp in those few pictures. That smiling picture actually scares me. He looks like someone`s inbred uncle, who sleeps on the couch all day and smells his own farts.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Nasty!
Submitted by marinara on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 5:46pm.
He has a hand growing out of his bottom ..
Haha!! Tripod: you're doing it wrong.
UM. I can't believe it's not cheese. And I love long hairs.
Can't with the long hair on men. I accidentally walked into a adult store last weekend with a crew and I could swear he was on a "Cali Queens Surf Riders" or some crazy shit dvd cover, idk
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
He has a hand growing out of his bottom ...
From the first photo I would've never guessed he was so "glittery"... I thought he was more like Fabio-type. I wonder if it's all an act.
Chrissy Crocker 2.0, anyone?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
I really thought that was a picture from the 80's.
thumb 2...a bangle? really? with a mesh shirt and shaved legs? this guy's so androgynous I'd bet he's Bieber's uncle.
"Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 1:32pm.
OMG, once he smiles, it's all over. He goes from Romance Novel Cover Guy to "YEE HAW! Where's the oxycontin at, y'all? in one second flat. "
asdhasjkdhjad
I spat!
What is going on in the last thumbnail? Did he shart?
"I thought you couldn't turn anyone as they were born a certain way?"
You can't. Which means they weren't straight to begin with.
He's a Valleygirl
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
ew. and i dont like guys with prettier hair than mine.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
you know the guy at 50 who still thinks he's cool and all the girls want him?
he's THAT guy.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 1:51pm.
If there's anything that makes me want to bite someone (besides humidity and opera), it's a guy with a femme voice. BLECH!
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LOL Dog!!
I saw homeboy's youtube that Michael K posted, and I found this slightly amusing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adLJRKQWAO8&feature=plcp
I'd like to think that this would be Etta James exact reaction to Beyonce doing her song.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
I guess one of the Nelson twins fucked Fabio in the ass in the 80s and Fabio queefed out this treasure...
I give it a month before his oxycontin addiction is announced.
one nite stand & broken condom resulted in long lost 3rd nelson.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
DGAF. Love him. He's adorable. Haters gonna hate.