Nick Jonas Got Himself A New Piece

With The Silver Fox and Frank Ocean coming out in the same week, professional beards everywhere are shaking out of fear that this will inspire closeted queens to also come out and then their jobs will be in danger. But you can always count on tricks like Joe Jonas to keep the beard economy alive! Joe traded his usual partner in struttin’, this hot piece right here, for a new ho (literally, a new ho, but I’ll get to that later) and the two of them walked around in Manhattan the other day with his parents and his brother Nick Jonas. How and when did Nick Jonas go from looking like a meek, weak toddler bird to looking like THIS? Dude used to look like a Twinkie without any cream filling and now he looks like a   hot dog puffing up in the microwave. And I am not trying to look at Nick Jonas’ bulge, but it’s kind of hard since you can almost see the outline of his purity cock ring.

Now, back to Joe’s latest rent-a-beard. I approve of her for one simple fact. Her name is:

NATASHIA HO!

She had me at HO.