Hot Slut Of The Day!
Disclaimer: Dlisted does not condone assault without permission (Note: assault with permission IS okay. See: Fifty Shades of Grey shit.), but sometimes a good Christian biddy (the "other" GCB) has to bible thump a trick in the head even if that trick is the pastor of her church.
63-year-old Ina Garrett of Selmar, Tennessee was NOT THE ONE the other day when she beat her pastor in the head with a bible after he refused to leave his position. Ina and her bad ass gang of grouchy ole' bitches have been trying to get the pastor out forever, but he hasn't sashayed away, so as Jesus wept, she used the word of the lord to beat him out the front door. However, the pastor claims that Ina King James'ed him in the skull, because shit got serious during service and he threatened to call the sheriff on all of them. Ina was arrested for assault with a holy weapon and if she goes to the clink, I really hope she gets a holy water drop tattoo on her cheek, because homegirl earned it.
During an interview with a local news station, Ina was fresh out of fucks to give and told the reporter that she beat her pastor because he's got the demon in him. Well, hitting someone over the head with a bible IS the country version of an exorcism.
You know I love a hardcore gangsta memaw, but Ina is mostly getting the Hot Slut stamp of approval, because when I first read her name, I immediately thought of another Garrett. EDNA GARRETT:
You know Mrs. Garrett has whooped a trick in the head with a bible a few times. You take the good, you take the bad, you take a Bible....and beat a bitch in the head with it.
via Jezebel
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That must SUCK when your own pastor is possessed by the devil!!!! I feel for Ina and I wish her all the best.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Why not just change churches?
Or better yet stop going to church altogether!
It's Selmer, TN... I've been to that horrible village many many times. My mom is from there. Scary-ass mean town.
Matthew 10:14 - King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.):
"And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, after the memaw beats you about the head and neck with the holy word, shake off the dust of your feet and call the shaf."
Submitted by Salma.Nella. on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 12:07pm
nice creative re-claiming of your name! :-)
OT:
[steps up to podium, clears throat, taps on mic]
the delegation of memaws from the great nation of "you have a better chance of fucking with your maker than with me" is proud to nominate Ina Garrett of Selmar, TN as Hot Slut of the Year
[releases net of full size bibles on your sinning ass heads]
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The bible has so many uses...
"However, the pastor claims that Ina King James'ed him in the skull, because shit got serious during service and he threatened to call the sheriff on all of them."
LMAO!
This reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdYhncDZ2gM
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Talk about Deliverance...
She sounds like she's got the Demon Meth in her.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Is a shaf a sheriff only in da dirty south!
MK you could pick up extra $$$ writing theme songs!!!!!
*dies*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
hahahahah, although i speak fluent country-bumpkin,it took me quite a while to figure out he was saying "Sheriff".
They should have solved this with a good old fashioned dance-off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_yF6-3pXdw
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
I believe it was Matthew 18:20 when Jesus said, "Whenever there are two or three gathered in my name to whup each other upside the head with Bibles, there I am NOT!"
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
everyday i see proof that me and church do not belong together...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Jesus. I know where Selmer is and this does not surprise me at all. South Tennessee/North Mississippi is as ignorant and hillbilly as you can imagine.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take a bible and beat a head . . . it's a bible thump, a bible thump!
. . . caw da shaayf!
*visions of Mandy Moore in Saved!*
I am FILLED with Christ love!
*throws Bible*
****
You can't stop the BEAT!
There's absolutely NOTHING about this post that isn't golden. Every. Last. Morsel. I wish every day could start out this good!
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
I dunno, I might be a Hot Slut for Sheriff Leon though. He was kinda cute for a middle-of-nowhere lawman.
"on knees for jesus"
the end...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
WAITAMINIT...are we sure this isn't Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 10:02am.
LOLLLLL at "caw duh Shayff, caw duh Shayff, caw duh Shayff"
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Right? That got me too. That and the pastor's black velvet Last Supper painting. LAWD.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
LOLLLLL at "caw duh Shayff, caw duh Shayff, caw duh Shayff"
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
"I ain't got no time for bronchitis, Jesus! Hit him in the head!" Where is VH1 to jump on these wonderful reality show would-be superstars.
Lmao MK!! You are so damn funny. I'm crying laughing.
I lost it at Edna Garrett's picture. Lolololololol
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I can't stop laughing. This clip. This story. MK, you're writing. It's all just too delicious. I love how the entire congregation is 30 members, yet they can't get this pompous microphone out of trick-pastor's hands. Sheriff Buck, CUTE, has his hands over his mouth like....I didn't sign on for this religious shit....it's all just .... too good. I hope biddy here takes the pulpit and PREACHES!!! (Don't send 'ol Bible beatin' biddy to the big house, is my new motto.)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
The woman has such beautiful natural blonde hair though.
"he's got the Deemon in im"
Sounds like half you horz here! Bawahaaa!
"He's got the demon in him!"
This story is sorta sad. Pepaw Pastor politely asked her to get her ass out and she whomps him with The Word of G-D.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
"on knees for jesus" this is making my taint throb, just feeling up those abs and that long girly hair of his..ooh i need to beat my dick up with a bible now, GET THAT EVIL CUM OUT OF IT
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
More proof that religion makes you stupid.
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