Tuesday, July 10th 2012
QOTD: It's A Me-OUUUUUUUUCH Thing
"As with all my new pets, I gently bit each kitten on the face. This is how I let my animals know that I am now their mother." - Martha Stewart on biting her kitten's face
via The Martha Blog (Thanks, Amanda)
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Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 1:02am.
I gently bite (it's more like a nibble) my cat on the cheeks too...and it doesnt hurt. Trust me, if it hurt, my cat would jump up or start or hiss but he just lies there. In general both my sister and i grew up kissing our cats on the mouth and biting their cheeks every now and then. The cute thing is that my cat does that with me too. When i hold him and he is all cuddly, he puts my cheeks gently between his teeth and holds it like that for a second and then releases. He never bites through obviously (and neither do i). I dont know why people think that is weird. Cats love cuddling. You just gotta get them used to it. You cant start doing that to a grown cat.
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That is the sweetest thing I've read! I know EXACTLY how you feel! Love my cats.
Jeezuz! Talk about control issues. Sorry, Martha Martha Martha but the kitty knows you aren't its mommy because you are a human.
I can't imagine working for this witch!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 6:56pm.
I do the same with each Krispy-Kreme donut in the box.
Not so they think I'm their mom, but so nobody else will want one.
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Haha! Really funny!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 11:08pm.
@Kizzy
Whoa there, kind hooker! Persians are about the most docile creatures you could ever hope to be around.
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They really are the sweetest little puffballs of love, but you don't fuck up their fur. They are snooty little things!! I'm sure Martha has been kitty Sanchez-ed many a time, and just rubs it in as part of her daily beauty regimen :D
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
That tag of "Martha Stewart eating pussy" had me ROTFLMAO.
WTF!! ..this bitch..Ta loca the homegurl.
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" I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully"
-George w. Bush
" Nucular Power Pants"
- George W. Bush
What a fucking silly bitch. Biting a little baby kittens face, uh NO! I could NEVER do that to my cat. I've had her since she was 2 weeks old (bottle fed her & even had to rub her little bum to make her poop & pee) and I can't bear the thought of hurting her. I kiss her and she kisses me back. I am her mummy and I love it!
Cats (animals) rule.
I gently bite (it's more like a nibble) my cat on the cheeks too...and it doesnt hurt. Trust me, if it hurt, my cat would jump up or start or hiss but he just lies there. In general both my sister and i grew up kissing our cats on the mouth and biting their cheeks every now and then. The cute thing is that my cat does that with me too. When i hold him and he is all cuddly, he puts my cheeks gently between his teeth and holds it like that for a second and then releases. He never bites through obviously (and neither do i). I dont know why people think that is weird. Cats love cuddling. You just gotta get them used to it. You cant start doing that to a grown cat.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
All the cats think Martha is on bathsalts
I have a few cats who bite my face, but it's very gentle and out of love. I don't bite them back.
@Kizzy
Whoa there, kind hooker! Persians are about the most docile creatures you could ever hope to be around.
That said, I am hopeful that Martha's will give her, as you mentioned, a well-deserved dirty sanchez. Wouldn't bet money on it, though. ;)
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
who are we to say Martha can't get a lil' pussy when she wants to, huh?
Submitted by justincase on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 7:14pm.
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Hey, my kitteh of nearly 12 years now is a weegie too! They are indepenedent and love mine!
I watched it when she had a Siberian forest on her show and she bit Martha.....maybe she learned something.
She's a Jane Goodall of pusseh.
Martha learned that pussy-munchin' in Alderson Federal Prison, holla!
That woman is crazy.
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
I have a pet Rottweiler who'd just love to meet her....
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It's PHELPS time!
All she has to do is squat in the litter box and those pussies will know who the head bitch in charge is
you slutz are funny today....as usual the funniest in the interwebz...
Cat: A little to the left. Martha:those domestic skills I picked up in the clink can finally be put to good use!
That looks like a Norwegian Forest kitteh. I have a grown one, same colour and she would growl at me if I tried to bite her face. She complains when I sneeze (allergy to cat) but she's the best cat evah! Love the Weegies.
I do the same with each Krispy-Kreme donut in the box.
Not so they think I'm their mom, but so nobody else will want one.
You may be right, but what she is biting in the photo is not a kitten. I suspect it would work. Its like when the mom picks the kitten up by biting the skin on the back of the neck and they hang here without moving a muscle.
On the other hand she may simply be signaling that those who take charge of her start with a little bite on the puss.
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Submitted by babybunny on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 5:46pm.
my cats all lord knows how many would so kick my ass and scratch the hell out of me if I did that..trust me I have raised 4 litters of abandoned kitties, and I know for a fact that I would be covered in scratches if I did that...
Actually this makes sense, if one is into cat hair on the tongue. Also, from what I have seen, the mom cat eats the poop and licks the butt of the kittens, so I think this lady needs to step up her game a bit.
(I post before I look, and upon review I see another poster went this way with it as well.)
On another subject:
I've had some who demand it... ;)
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 5:56pm.
Trust me, I've learned pussy biting is a NO NO!!!
Um. No. I've had pets, including cats, all my life. No.
...and then Cruella DeVille prepares a tasty Kitten au Vin
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Martha's finally turned into the old crazy cat lady.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 5:56pm.
Meh, Jack. That's something we all have to learn the hard way, ain't it? Like when some inexperienced woman gives you a handy for the first time and you gotta tell them "Ease up on the deathgrip, that thing ain't detachable y'know." lols
Trust me, I've learned pussy biting is a NO NO!!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Great. Soon we'll add a cat attack story to the continuing animal revolt against people.
It'll go along with
1)the kid in SA who got mauled by chimps (they go for the face and genitals btw)
2)the kid in FLA who got his arm bit off by a ten foot gator and
3)the family who woke up one night hearing noise in their baby's room and found a python beginning to wrap itself around the baby's leg. It apparently escaped from a neighbor's apartment.
My doggie is looking at me funny right now.
my cats all lord knows how many would so kick my ass and scratch the hell out of me if I did that..trust me I have raised 4 litters of abandoned kitties, and I know for a fact that I would be covered in scratches if I did that...my one kitty Stormy loves to bite my nose, if I did that, she would take it as an invitation to bite my face back...silly Martha...go back to jail to learn correct way to welcome new pussy.
Hmm, Gives new meaning to pussy whipped.
If I was your cat, that would be the way to let me know to scratch your fucking face apart when you fell asleep.
That's an actual quote and not a Caption This winner. Amazing. If she were a dude, she'd live by: "A wife and a walnut tree, the more you beat them the better they be"
Is she a breeder? If not, she should be or will be soon 'cause I've met some crazy cat breeder bitches over here that probably do this, too.
I think there are better ways to show pets you're their mother..like feed and water them.
Pussy abuse!!!!! This biting didn't work too well for Martha's human daughter and I hope it won't work well with this kitty...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
A mother cat will lick it's kitten's ass too so don't stop there Martha!
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"Sorry, daddy, I'm not gonna do that and you can't make me 'cause I'm taller than you" Suri Cruise
*kicks Martha in the whorebone and runs off with all her Persian kittehs*
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!
Bath salts. Exquisitely scented lavender and magnolia blossom balth salts in a Lalique decanter.
1) Maybe that's what the face-eater in Miami thought he was doing.
2) Did Martha do this to her human daughter too?
3) Ick.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Meanwhile, The other woman is nervously giggling but thinking, "Am I next?"
+++++++++++++++++++++
"If music be the food of love, play on." ~ William Shakespeare
GAWD
Ok, I get the whole, bite your dogs ear for Alpha status and shit, but this?
No bath salts jokes yet? *disappointed*
When I get a new cat I like to bring out the q tips so she knows she is now my bitch
The cat is like, "Oh what the fuck! You're gonna leave me with this lady?! Face biter lady?! Oh hell no!"
That's a Persian, they're even more of a bitch than you, Martha. He/She's never going to forgive you for fucking up their fur. When you wake up with a dirty sanchez, you know why.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥