Dane Cook Told An Aurora Shooting Joke, Of Course (UPDATE: And He's Sorry)
Dane Cook must've looked at all the free attention Daniel Tosh got for that whole "Wouldn't it be funny if 5 guys raped her right now?" thing and thought to himself, "I can do that too!" And he did at The Laugh Factory in L.A. last night when he tried out this joke:
"I heard that the guy came into the theater about 25 minutes into [The Dark Knight Rises]. And I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie, but the movie's pretty much a piece of crap. Yeah, spoiler alert. I know that if none of that would have happened, I'm pretty sure that somebody in that theater, about 25 minutes in realizing it was a piece of crap, probably was like, 'Ugh, fucking shoot me.'"
The comedian he stole that joke from should be ashamed of themselves! But really, Dane Cook has a point. The Dark Knight Rises was a total piece of crap compared to the cinematic brilliance of Employee of the Month.
UPDATE: Dane Cook's ass farted out an apology today, "I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims."
via Vulture
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Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
Despite the tragedy, life goes on. All the rage and crying won't change a thing.
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That joke ain't funny at all. Dane cook has told exactly one funny joke in his entire career, and that was the one about the B & E.
@Louis C.K.---Geez, haven't you made enough money yet to have him killed? We're counting on you, man!
I didn't realize Dane Cook was considered a "comedian". I've always thought of him as an ill informed lecturer.
welp. someone's going to hell. and not for the tasteless joke. for the fact that you'd write a tasteless joke based on a tragedy the country is talking about just to get people to notice you again. you weren't funny then and you aren't funny now. all people think of you now is that you're even a bigger idiot than you were before.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Baby Jeesbus on bike. Comedians you see in hell and have to sit through their unfunny, over hyped shit forever.
Dunhamn, Cook, Silverman, that guy named Bowman who tours with Lewis Black. That was 30 mins of my life I will never get back. Any one else I'm missing?
I wanna like Louis CK, what am I not getting with him?
I do like edgey.
~So long, and thanks for all the fish!~
Who is still paying money to watch this unfunny, Bill Hicks wannabe luuuzer ASS?
I'm more upset this trash is sucking up nutrients and oxygen. Giraldo is dead, and this moron lives.
There Is No God....
~So long, and thanks for all the fish!~
didn't read far enough below. glad someone else has a little something something for G. Giraldo. Would have loved to hear his take on all this CO fuckery.
I don't find Louis CK funny. Don't know why....n
~So long, and thanks for all the fish!~
LOL ESE!!!!!
Showem how its done!
Honestly, that joke was so poorly written, I believe he must have stolen it from Lainey or whoever hell the BI person is.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Well that bought him another two minutes.....
Submitted by TheGreatOne on Sat, 07/28/2012 - 3:34am.
I guess telling that story to as many people as I can is some sort of karma for him making me feel like such a loser at a weird time in my life.
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Yes, he is the asshole and a loser with little to no career now. Truly good people don't belittle others to make themselves feel superior.
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Submitted by numcrun on Sat, 07/28/2012 - 2:00am.
There's a new card game called Colorado Holdem - it's like Texas Holdem but the Joker's wild.
lol!
A joke is a joke, don't fucking apologize for it.
Harsh humour exists, you don't like it go watch some slapstick or something.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Submitted by Dannii on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 8:47pm.
just a note here-that joke is terrible but i dont see how its comparible to tosh'd remark which, for some reason is being said to be a "joke". it wasnt a joke-he said "how funny would it be if 5 guys raped [her] now" that was a flat out threat.
and then there were people bending over backwards to defend him saying how "aww, people have no sense of humour over rape jokes" when it wasnt even a joke.
you make a joke about anything else you get your ass handed to ya, make a threat to rape and "pretend" its a "joke" because you are a "comedian", and a lot of idiots aka douchebags,run to your defense.
not defending cook at all shitty joke to make-just wanted to point out the hyprocisy between the senarios.
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Good point. And Dane Cook is about as funny as heroin withdrawals.
Now that made me laugh (the dane cook, heroin comparison). I have to look up this Daniel tosh thing
The most offensive part about this is how unfunny Dane Cook is. If you're going to make an inappropriate comment, at least be original. Maybe he should try looking on the comment sections of this site for some inspiration. We should all go on a dlisted comedy tour if this guy is getting the laughs. He probably did it on purpose to get some press since no one cares about him.
Dane Cook is an exceptionally an idiot. Furthermore the rest of the stand up comedians see him as a horrible person who can barely talk about a story.
Black comedian said that shit and the media would jail the fool! I hate our country sometimes....
Fucking loser. A few years ago I worked for this company that represented him and I had to deliver packages to him at Chateau Marmont, or whatever the hell it's called. I always royally dreaded it, cuz he was never pleasant or nice, he'd just open the door and then order you to hold it open while he signed a bunch of crap.
Yes, he didn't leave you waiting in front of a closed door, or god forbid let you in, he just forced you to feel like a complete peon holding his lame door open, while he silently signed crap and his little dog approached you with a look on it's face like "somebody please get me the hell out of here!!!!" And he had really badly pockmarked skin and he wore this mall ballchain necklace straight out of the 90s...
I guess telling that story to as many people as I can is some sort of karma for him making me feel like such a loser at a weird time in my life.
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Too big to fail
oh whatever, he didn't have to apologize for that lame joke. Jokes help us get through the bad times together. If he's gonna apologize for anything, it should be for being a constant douchebag.
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RandéSleepover said it all....
What did the Colorado gunman say when his girlfriend asked to have sex again? "I need time to reload".
There's a new card game called Colorado Holdem - it's like Texas Holdem but the Joker's wild.
yeah...Greg Giraldo andMitch Hedberg. didn't he steal Louis CK's stuff as well?
Submitted by K2 on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 5:07pm.
And yet it's the funny comedians like Greg Giraldo that have to die young ... I'll never understand it.
Fuck off Dane!
One of the definitions of "not end well" in the dictionary of truth is: "crackhead leading a crackhead to Mexico..." MK--8/20/11
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 5:01pm.
Q. what can clear a theatre faster than an armed gunman?
A. Dane Cook.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *stealing*
People paid money for such biting wit?
C'mon now, let's give the guy proper credit - he was smart enough to screw Jessica Simpson. He's right up there with the great minds like John Mayer and Adam Levine........oh, I can't even with myself.
And this is what happens to Dane when there aren't any good jokes to "borrow".
This guy is about as funny as a stick of butter.
Insensitive douche.
This is Dane Cook's "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" moment, poorly executed.
He's as edgy as my grandma.
I'm not too familiar with his material, but I did see a bit he filmed for the Kings of Douchebag Comedy.
just a note here-that joke is terrible but i dont see how its comparible to tosh'd remark which, for some reason is being said to be a "joke". it wasnt a joke-he said "how funny would it be if 5 guys raped [her] now" that was a flat out threat.
and then there were people bending over backwards to defend him saying how "aww, people have no sense of humour over rape jokes" when it wasnt even a joke.
you make a joke about anything else you get your ass handed to ya, make a threat to rape and "pretend" its a "joke" because you are a "comedian", and a lot of idiots aka douchebags,run to your defense.
not defending cook at all shitty joke to make-just wanted to point out the hyprocisy between the senarios.
Dane Cook further proves he is irrelevant in every area. Comedian, actor and now as a movie reviewer. How jealous do you have to be to bash the best action movie ever made?
Guess he was rejected when he showed up to be an extra.
I remember, a couple years ago, tuning into a Dane Cook comedy routine on hbo cause I'd heard a lot about him. Dude IS NOT funny! I didn't laugh one time and ended up turning it. He's just a big over-hyped douche.
Submitted by Oomwoc on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 7:22pm.
The quality of the joke is way more offensive than the content.
Exactly.
When I first heard that there was a baby in the audience, I was tempted to ask if its crying during the movie inspired the shooting rampage. I had enough tact not to actually say/type it, though.
Submitted by Who Datt on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 7:22pm.
Dane Crook is still around?
I had never heard of him until now. You forgot he was "still around" until now. Seems like his "joke", which I cannot be bothered watching, served its purpose of getting him some attention.
Now somebody fucking shoot him please.
Submitted by Infamous on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 6:36pm.
Im surprised the people in the audience didn't ask to be shot
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LOL! You need a stand up act!
Fucktard!
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Dane Crook is still around? He makes Gallagher seem like Lenny Bruce.
The quality of the joke is way more offensive than the content.
Dane Cook just has a douchey, date rapey frat boy vibe that makes me hate him. This joke just solidified it.
Although I despise humor that hurts and deeply offends others, I also despise "comediens" who are just simply not funny. Please add Sarah Silverman to the completely unfunny (and ugly) list.
Submitted by Infamous on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 6:36pm.
Im surprised the people in the audience didn't ask to be shot.
now that's funny.
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Im surprised the people in the audience didn't ask to be shot
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I'm all for edgy comedy. But the problem here, as is always the case with Cook's "humor," is that it's simply not funny.
I hate "comedy" that's offensive just for shock value. I think laughter can bring people together and help them get through trauma. That being said, I think AIDS, abortion, rape, abuse, the holocaust, and mass murder will never be funny. Especially when innocent children gunned down by a madman are involved. Ellen Degeneres is an amazing comedienne. She makes you come away feeling good and happy. You aren't feeling uncomfortable and questioning your life choices after watching her.
Lmao ESE!
Dane Cook is NOT funny. And I love fucked up, dark humor.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
It makes me love you all all the more to know everyone has the good sense to hate Dane Cook, Tosh and Jeff Dunham. What a trifecta of ass suckery. (^_^)
He sucks on every level. Hopefully society at large will ostracize this ignorant, tasteless, unfunny ass bag the way everyone did when Gilbert Gottfried poked fun at the tsumani that ravaged Japan.
Douche Cook's parents died of cancer...perhaps he would like for people to make fun of that??