About That 16-Year-Old Swimming Wonder....
Because I love a good dope controversy, I'm temporarily interrupting my highly important coverage of OctoMom's financial situation to bring you this story you've probably already heard about since every Olympic-loving ho is talking about it. Monocles up, because there's possible shadiness ahead.
16-year-old Ye Shiwen of China had gossiping whores whispering over the weekend after she not only won the gold in the 400-meter individual medley and beat the world record with a time of 4:28:43, but also out-swam Ryan Lochte in the final 50-meters. Ryan won the gold in that same event and did the final 50 meters in 29.10 seconds while Ye Shiwen did it in 28.93 seconds. Because of this and because Ye Shiwen came out of nowhere to beat the U.S. 400-meter champion Elizabeth Beisel, some are screaming: SOMETHING IN THE CHLORINE WATER IS DOOOOOOOOPED!
John Leonard, the executive director of the World Swimming Coaches Association, tells The Guardian that at the World Championship last year, Ye Shiwen swam the 400m 7 seconds slower than she did at the Olympics. John Leonard said with a whole of training, this is possible, but Ye Shiwen speed swimming in the last 100 meters like one of Lil' Wayne jizz fishes on meth IS completely impossible.
"We want to be very careful about calling it doping. The one thing I will say is that history in our sport will tell you that every time we see something, and I will put quotation marks around this, 'unbelievable', history shows us that it turns out later on there was doping involved. That last 100m was reminiscent of some old East German swimmers, for people who have been around a while. It was reminiscent of 400m individual medley by a young Irish woman in Atlanta.
I have been around swimming for four-and-a-half decades now. If you have been around swimming you know when something has been done that just isn't right. I have heard commentators saying 'well she is 16, and at that age amazing things happen'. Well yes, but not that amazing. I am sorry."
Ye Shiwen has never won a medal in the 400m in a major international competition before and many say she was the last swimmer they were expecting to win the gold in London.
Many athletes have been pre-tested before the games, but some hos think that maybe China came up with a new performance-enhancing drug that goes undetected during testing. Okay, if China did brew up that drug, can they please give that drug to Lindsay Lohan? Because all the drugs she takes turn her into a loser and it'd be nice for her to win at something for a change. Damn.
Maybe Ye Shiwen did dope her way to that win or maybe she just has it like that naturally. Nobody knows yet, but what we do know is that Ye Shiwen beating Ryan Lochte in the final 50 meters temporarily dimmed the douche sparkle on his ugly ass rhinestone American flag grill. That's the only thing that matters right now.
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Doesn't Phelps have herpes? I could have sworn I read that somewhere. Now he has nineteen medals, right?
Glambert - I kind of doubt Ye had gender reassignment surgery because the IOC stopped requiring gynecological exams for all females years ago (to ensure they had the right equipment) and started using genetic tests to determine that the athlete had the proper XX chromosome pair. I don't know if they changed it back (political correctness?) because I remember some years ago a female athlete (runner? from Africa?) had wonky sex chromosomes (2 XX's and a Y? Something like that) so I could be wrong. Personally, I was thinking that since this swimmer came out of nowhere she could have gotten through without being tested for steroids until very close to the Games whereas China's best swimmers could not escape being tested throughout the year leading up to them. Then again, I don't have much knowledge of this subject so I have no idea about the sneaky and diabolical world of doping. Obviously there is a lot more than steroids out there these days.
Submitted by Willowmeena on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 11:09am.
pointing out that it may be a lil obvious that China cheated again is not sour grapes, it's common sense.
Coaches from all countries have given this win the side-eye.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
you can all win all the freakin' gold medals you want. Just keep making Captain American T-shirts for a buck an hour and watching those coke commercials that make you think we are all singing in three part harmony.
Submitted by Willowmeena on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 11:09am.
So what you're saying is a proven track record of doping and dirty play doesn't matter. It MUST be jealousy. How dare Americans point out the fucking obvious about a country who's done this dozens of times before! It MUST be sour grapes!
Oh, and Phelps wasn't sixteen, and he has arms like a fucking orangutan. So yeah, it makes sense he would go fast. This? Not so much!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Willowmeena on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 11:09am.
sour grapes? China has a proven track record for cheating... what this little chick accomplished (improving by SEVEN SECONDS from last year and the turbo boost at the end of the race) has been called "impossible" by some Olympic officials... you get over it.
TEAM FAT WHINY AMERICANS!!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Nasty, spiteful sour grapes from the US coach. No-one came out and accused Phelps of dopping after he won 8 golds.
The US always whine and bitch when they lose. Get over it.
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I could eat a knob at night - Karl Pilkington
Submitted by pfk on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:09pm.
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Yeah I think Ye Shiwen was probably born a boy. It seems China actively seeks out olympic kids from birth due to many articles. (Ye Shiwen was chosen because of large hands and feet) and then China PROBABLY forced a gender reassignment surgery on Ye years ago and then doped him/her up with some new drug recently.
There have been over 50 Chinese Olympians(Swimming alone)that tested positive for doping over the last 20 years!(that easily more than 3X the amount of any other Country!)
It's not just "doping" though that taints China's olympic fuckery as already point out though...
At the 2008 Bejing Olympics there was 4 out of 6 of the girls on China's olympic team who were suspected of being under the age of 16 by the rest of the world due to leaked birth certificates as well as official gymnastic websites listing the birth dates of them. Of Course China got away with this fuckery after making up "official" FAKE birth certificates for all of them...
Clearly these girls are all over the age of 16 even though the majority of them look like the are under the age of 12! (According to articles I have read one of these girls didn't even have all her adult teeth in yet!)
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2012/06/07/sports/olympics/07chinese...
Then back in 2000 a Chinese olympic gymnast medalist ADMITTED she was 14 during the 2000 olympics on TELEVISION and was investigated but was found to be 16 in spite of what she said on television!(Another gymnast on her team was eventually found to be under the age of 16 in 2000 so China's team medal was taken away and the US team was awarded the bronze medal almost a decade later after the 2000 games)
At this point it is difficult to believe any of China's Olympic "wins" and that is really sad because I'm sure many of China's athletes did "EARN AND DESERVE" their wins but with all the Chinese Olympic fuckery it's difficult to discern the real Chinese winners from the government sanctioned cheaters!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 3:50am.
hahaha they r human and in that competitive fueled environment, i guess they need to unwind after all that build up.
Loopy, where have I been? You get behind-the-scenes Jockstrap cam? Way better. How much is that? Oh yeah, FREE for the staff lollol
Every four years is right, they see each other a lot just to qualify but never all in one place until the Olympics. Then it becomes a rabid free-for-all. Naaaaked fooood fiiiiiight!
You are a heli-spinner! lmao
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 3:31am.
You have the right formula lol i didn't even think of those positions.
yeah with the weightlifters can lift you can just jump on it and they spin you like a helicopter.
Loopy, I knew you'd get the idea! lol To save time, have them lie down in their sport's position and then hop on. I think you'd like the gymnasts doing a backwards splits. The swimmers face down. The weightlifters can pick you up for the bounce. lmao
ETA: What party poopers the australian olympic committee is!
OnT: the committee needs to start checking everyone at the door for unknown substances.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 3:07am.
I gotta a better (although sluttier) idea.
if i was there, all the interested guys, just put their names in a hat, i draw them out in numbers, they line up in that sequence and i go about hopping from dick to dick like the easter bunny.
except some guys better not be stealing other dudes numbers and running to the back of the queue. cuz you only get 1 ride and move on! what kinda of easter bunny do you take me for?
that might sound slutty in the real world, but at the athletes village, its normal behaviour.
remember these people only get to fuck like its the end of the world every FOUR YEARS.
even the ugly dudes could get a fuck, as long as they have a hot body. like one of the athletes said "they can have a face thats a 5 but if the body is a 10" then they just go ahead and fuck.
and apparently the italian guys just walk around house in jockstraps, whilst the french guys walk around the village with dicks flopping everywhere and some of the danes literally just fuck at the dining hall ( i guess combining food with sex LOL)
there is a video of the australian male rowing team just in the speedos briefs dancing at the village whilst the other nationalities just sit around watching lol, but the australian olympic committee made them take it off youtube.
Loopy, yeah, they'd be walking around in nothing but muscles... you are well-read on that subject!
You need a job at this sexytime village. You'll go about your business, you'd stumble on a body and oooops an "accident" - You would never leave men's wing. LOL, like a sex club! You walk in, make THE eyes and they'd follow you out. HA
Be careful with the weightlifters, cuz they could crush you. ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 2:12am.
pretty much these athletes don't give a damn about being naked in the village. they just walk around naked. lol makes it easier for sexy times, no need to take off clothes.
I read that basically its like a sex club, you see what you like, you walk up to it, if they like you, you find a bedroom and do it. cum. move on.
Loopy, LOL at this 'swimming meat' sausage armada, in a sea of jizz. Are they having pump offs in the village for this gushing pokefest? lmao They'd never leave their rooms! You'd have athletes slipping and sliding to the mess hall down the hill, wading through the congealed mess HAHAHA I scream murder!
As for the air quality in their quarters, that wouldn't bother them. Oh no, they're already used to worn sweaty jockstraps, fungi socks, and dirty towels - no they'd never notice dead jizz squirl musk, let's be real! rotfl
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I know. Sadly, they've instituted new uniform rules and the players are wearing more clothing. Maybe it's partly due to the weather, I dunno. I'm watching the US vs. Cze Rep. right now, they're still hot as hell.
But where is the indoor game? That's where the booty is, six butts per side. Come on you bastids.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
bambam, those beach volleyball booties are righteous! Almost wanna bite them, they're so tasty. But I didn't see them! ;(
*Drools at menz instead!* lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Compare that to the womens gymnast team. It's all been Jordan Weiber, Jordan Weiber and Aly Reisman from the experts and announcers. Now that this girl Gabby Douglas came out of nowhere and is at her peak they don't have a lot to say about her. It's such a political sport.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 1:32am.
yeah true he could be a real asshole in real life and a diva and tell people to fuck off.
but at least thats not in our face. lol
and he won 16 medals, so if he wants to tell everybody, he was the greatest swimmer ever, i say "omg what a show off but yeah, you did it"
but lochte hasn't even won 5 medals and anna wintour put him on vogue and had him comb his hair, dress is american heritage clothing to look like a hampton preppy.
@ loopyG,
I'd rather hold off and reserve my opinion on Phelps. I live in DC which is kinda down the road from Balmer. I've heard quite a few stories about Phelps jerkishness to fans. It's his right of course but he is a celebrity in Balmer, his hometown. Then again it could just be sour grapes from some.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
anyway if you all are talking about the relay4x100m freestyle.
our australian boys were favourite cuz we had 2x of the world's fastest 100m swimmers in that relay and we tanked.
once again, they were sooo cocky going into the comps, all we heard about in australia was these two guys saying "we champs, yeah better watch out for us, we are weapons of mass destruction"
you couldn't take a piss in the outback without hearing that leading up to the race.
and then they bombed!!
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 1:24am.
yeah i gotta admit, even as a ghey, i have to say the women's beach volleyball players have insane hot bodies and with awesome booty.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 12:00am.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:53pm.
lochte thinks he is god's gift to everybody lol
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Loopy,this.this and this. Phelps was so much more gracious than Lochte. Lochte doesn't Have a right to be cocky until he does what Phelps did.
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Yes, the only 2 things people can pick on phelps is 1. his butter face and 2. being a pot head.
but otherwise, he was a good winner as far as i can see during interviews. and he won 16 medals and still didn't talk smack. just goes about doing his stuff.
unlike lochte, who is the president, founder and no.1 fan of his own fan club.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 1:09am.
PSL, in full agreement. Thank you! hahaha
*whispers* Loopy knows we're both only watching the hot male athletes, right? Are there women there?
*side-eyes beach volleyball ass admirers* lmao ;P
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*side eyeing you right back*
I'm sitting here watching the replays of today's events. I heard the US wimmens volleyball team played Brazil's wimmens team. THEY HAD BETTER SHOW THAT MATCH, EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. Now THAT'S gonna be a good butt show I tell ya.
*drools in anticipation*
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 12:02am.
until lochte wins 16 medals like phelps, he should stfu.
im surprised whenever i hear his voice, i dont smell the air of shit, because he talks out of his ass.
That's What He Said - Thanks for the correction. Was Lochte even in that relay? I know he's a backstroker and that was a free relay. Anyway, I didn't mean to sound like I was putting Phelps down in order to raise Lochte up. Mostly I just remember that stupid NBC interviewer.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 12:56am.
yes within and I agree lol
women are at the olympics? hmm i didnt notice, my eyes have been fixated on
http://www.homorazzi.com/article/australian-olympic-swimming-team-men-lo...
and
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EhktqhEqVU8/T_MOSpRNvDI/AAAAAAAARWk/Yru0UqdRbZ...
even though they havent won any medals....sigh
Some chick athlete on TMZ said the village is one big pool of debauchery. She said let's say your event is done early. You sit around the village with all these people at the peak of their physical abilities and they give you complimentary condoms. Whatchagonnado?
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 12:51am.
the swimming meat finishes in a weeks time, and these guys are allowed to stay until the games end, for the closing ceremony, so that 7-10 days is just a romp fest.
In the space of 7-10 days, more semen would be spilled than the sinking of the spanish armada.
the air quality at the athlete's village would be like Eau de Toilette Jizz Musk and damp vaginas (provided the male athletes arent selfish assholes who will help a girl climax instead of focusing on themselves only).
PSL, in full agreement. Thank you! hahaha
*whispers* Loopy knows we're both only watching the hot male athletes, right? Are there women there?
*side-eyes beach volleyball ass admirers* lmao ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LOL. This is just white people mad that a non-white country is becoming a global super power.
Ye Shiwen should tweet a picture of herself pissing on an American flag while flipping off the camera, or she should accuse all of her doubters of racism like Omarosa would.
Within Reason, an amendment. MALE swimmers have great bodies. I don't like most female swimmer's bodies. Huge broad shoulders, no boobs.......
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That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in
Mel-tang, that article is sad! Poor kids. :(
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hahaha Loopy, Swimmers do have great bodies though, come on now. But how does he find the time for the unlimited revolving door of Olympic game pussay? And where's his roommate, shouldn't he file a complaint on that c*ckblocker Lochte? ollol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Just please test them ALL... EVEN the judges! ha
lmao at "Lil' Wayne jizz fishes on meth"
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The only thing that can get me watching is if Rupaul got to judge every single competition, even the straight up scoring sports like soccer and basketball.
"Sashay...away.."
Submitted by Thats What He Said on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:48pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 3:05pm.
I am now a Phelps convert!
I was so pissed at how the first three swimmers had a hell of a lead for overrated Lochte, and he just looked PATHETIC! Phelps gave it his all, and so did the other two, BUT Lochte tanked big time.
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That pissed me off because USA could have won that race. If Phelps (or even Jones) had anchored, I'm pretty sure they would have pulled it off. At first I felt bad for Lochte, but all the douchiness is just making me angry. He clearly has an inferiority complex. Phelps is better than you dude, get over it!! He is better than pretty much everyone else out there, but you don't hear them bitching about it constantly. He's a pro at winning, and he does it without putting other people down along the way. Lochte could learn a thing or two from him...
What he said!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:53pm.
lochte thinks he is god's gift to everybody lol
he wants to emulate phelps sooo badly, its sad.
I agree and I blame him for the relay loss.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:53pm.
lochte thinks he is god's gift to everybody lol
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Loopy,this.this and this. Phelps was so much more gracious than Lochte. Lochte doesn't Have a right to be cocky until he does what Phelps did.
The Olympics are sort of sadistic to watch when you accidentally hear on the radio around noon that the American gymnasts choked and then you see it in prime time. CH-O-O-O-K-E.
I just heard one of the Chinese gymnasts, for like the past 10 years, has been home from training camp for a total of 17 days. I mean you can't compete with the crazy.
lochte thinks he is god's gift to everybody lol
he wants to emulate phelps sooo badly, its sad.
at least phelps wasnt a douche bag when he won, lochte was been douche-ing his shit up from day 1000 before the olympics and appearing on vogue made him think he was some gift to women from god.
and then he broke up with his girlfriend before the olympics, so he can tap the unlimited supply of vaginas at the olympic village.
Submitted by pfk on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:38pm.
During the last Olympics it was Phelps as the third leg who caused one of the relays to lose their position from 1st to 3rd and it was Lochte who pulled the race out for the win.
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That was Lezak, not Lochte.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 3:05pm.
I am now a Phelps convert!
I was so pissed at how the first three swimmers had a hell of a lead for overrated Lochte, and he just looked PATHETIC! Phelps gave it his all, and so did the other two, BUT Lochte tanked big time.
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That pissed me off because USA could have won that race. If Phelps (or even Jones) had anchored, I'm pretty sure they would have pulled it off. At first I felt bad for Lochte, but all the douchiness is just making me angry. He clearly has an inferiority complex. Phelps is better than you dude, get over it!! He is better than pretty much everyone else out there, but you don't hear them bitching about it constantly. He's a pro at winning, and he does it without putting other people down along the way. Lochte could learn a thing or two from him...
During the last Olympics it was Phelps as the third leg who caused one of the relays to lose their position from 1st to 3rd and it was Lochte who pulled the race out for the win. I'll never forget the idiot from NBC who interviewed him afterward (while he was still huffing and puffing). She said something like "Aren't you glad (or proud or happy) you won that so Michael Phelps can still try for his record number of gold medals?" That's all she asked him. What an ass. I think Lochte responded "I swam it for the team." He was a little shocked at the classlessness, as was I.
This is sad...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2181374/Forging-Mandarin-mermaid...
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Glambert - thank you for making that distinction. This is a 16 year-old girl who looks like a boy, has a boy's voice, and came out of nowhere from that vast wasteland known as mediocrity to beat the last few meters' time in a grueling race of an adult man who also won a gold medal with his performance. Of course when this is rightfully questioned some idiot has to bring up big bad America to detract from the inhumanity of the Chinese system of governance, probably because it's their idea of utopia. I guess there are a lot of mediocrities out there who can actually, seriously picture themselves as being part of the elite who will be making all of the decisions for all of the rest of us when our country becomes their ideal. You know, compassionate geniuses like 1/32's high-cheek-boned Injun Elizabeth Warren and any Obama czar you can name, all of whom suck Communist Chinese Dick. Hell, I'm 1/4 Native American you fucking cunt warren.
hataas a gonna hate!
I remembr as a kid watching a documentary about the East Germans. They looked like freaks. Today they would be called Olympic trannies. The women were all injected male hormones as if they were going under gender reassignment. That was the ugly era. People will try to win at any cost. That is human nature but rest assured that if there is doping or hormones (officials can sniff that a mile aways) she will be caught. It wont be the first time for Communist China.
Things like this is why I think transexuals will never be allowed to compete in the Olympics. All the hormones they take to transition are all banned specifically for what they do.