Ryan Lochte Is Not A Hit And Quit It Slut

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Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 7:14pm. My mom: 'Conway' West7/24Big hugetime (instead of 'big time') My aunt: Ellen Degenerate (she's not being a jerk, she actually thinks that's her name) My uncle: Opfrey Winfield I fear this may one day happen to me
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LOL! My mother cannot get her tongue around Oprah's name either; she calls her Oofra.

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I got a question about why do the swimmers (before the swimming match) go to the pool and splash the water in their mouths? I think that is so GROSS!

He can't help it if the chlorinated water got on his brain!

What's Chi Chi to say. He don't like butt fuxking them 19 year olds back to back. He's got pay day coming his way, that tawdry shit got to stay in the back burner...

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/08/ryan-lochte-would-like-to-explai...

I doubt Wingman Mom would be saying this if she had an athlete daughter.
And why do they need all these condoms? Don’t male athletes supposed to be celibate during games? And (according to numerous articles on this topic) don’t women prefer shopping over sex?! Especially if they are in London – the mecca of shopping!

This is the sort of guy you think is really hot and then he starts to talk and it's clear he's dumb. Really dumb - like possibly has mild mental retardation dumb (I know, I know, not pc.) Suddenly the sessy factor is gone.

brainless dick

Saw an interview with this asshat last week. He was proudly showing off his closet full of shoes and bragged that he has a pair of sneakers made just for him one says Ryan and the other says Lochte. He said he loved wearing them around the pool because the water would penetrate into the words and he could leave his first and last name all over the place. Asshat. I think he may bat for the other team if you saw his closet folks...........

He and his dad were on Piers Morgan tonight. I think he's young and dumb, but not all that douchey. They seem genuine, and he's just a goofball.

RYAN, oh RYAN...

http://peppersteakandpolyester.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/6-things-peeing-...

Thank you so much SDR for bringing up the fact that water parks are disgusting cess pools. I just took the baby Tangs to one today. :( lol

www.poopreport.com :)

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RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 7:14pm.

My mom:

Lolllllllllllll

I have never heard my mom even say "one-night stand," let alone comment on my after-work activities.

As long as Ryan swims end-to-end faster than anyone else, I don't really care what he does out of the pool. His sponsors do, however.

Lmao Jack!! Your Mom is funny.

I SO would with Ryan. Omg.

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

uninteresting douche

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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.

Please, more embarrassing parent stories. I love them. Jack, yours takes the cake.

I bet the Olympics' ending days and beyond are just awesome. At least 50% of the people around you are super hot and most of them are probably willing to hook up, and maybe they don't even speak your language! And imagine all the possible awkward sex that could be going on between Olympian giants and midgets.

On a different note, I don't see the point in saying that some of us don't have one night stands because we have stronger "morals"=-maybe just different opinions. I've never had one, though that's mostly because the vast majority of strange men who hit on me are creeps.

that is a great sex chair. But why is he wearing pants?

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:43pm.

My mom, STILL to this day, if her battery goes dead in her car she will ask you to "jack her off". I'm like MOM it's gimme a jump!! She was with me one time and this guy had his hood open and she rolled the window down and asked if he was having trouble... he said his battery was dead. Before I could roll the window up (and was also grabbing her arm going MOM, MOM, NO...) she said WOULD YOU LIKE MY SON TO JACK YOU OFF??? hahahahahahahahahahaa fuckin idiot!

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LOLOLOL Your mom sounds like my kinda people (i.e. offering handjobs to strangers). If she ever comes to NYC let me know and she and I can hang out.

But you never finished your story. Did you jack the guy off? In front of your mom?

My mom:

'Conway' West
7/24
Big hugetime (instead of 'big time')

My aunt:

Ellen Degenerate (she's not being a jerk, she actually thinks that's her name)

My uncle:

Opfrey Winfield

I fear this may one day happen to me.

Are people seriously giving him a tough time for having one-night stands? Really? As if 99% of men don't do the same (except me)????

So now he's NOT a slut? Gold medalist, I am disappoint.

*cancels last-minute trip to London*

"Swimming answer's to Chet Haze"
I LOLed in my car so loud I scared the ok lady walking past my car.

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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK

Anybody remember they had 100,000 condoms for the Olympic Village, and halfway through, they ran the fuck out and had to get an emergency shipment? I think it broke down to 15 a DAY per person. Young, sheltered (while training at least) athletes with no parents or minders over them 24/7 while they're in the OV? Oh yeah, boinkfest 2012

There are more athletes at the Olympias than you would think. They upped the condoms by 50% this year from the initial order in Beijing and it works out to 15 per athlete for whole of the two week long Olympics. Although if they're all fucking each other, then it's 30.

Ryan, Please sit allll the way down!
Your mother BLASTED you because you're not living right. Not because she's "new to this press thing". Skanky male whores are no different from female ones, you slut. Now go change your evil ways!

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 3:28pm.
You're not breaking anything to me Janet. I'm fully aware of all that. It's still selfish, disgusting and bad manners when there's a bathroom on the premises.

My sister was a swimmer growing up. Her practices were three hours long and their coach used to tell them to pee in the pool rather than get out and use the bathroom... kept people from ducking out of swim sets. It's pretty much just common behavior in the swimming world. Get over it.

Sal Salaz, you know it would never happen, so it's ok to talk racy, isn't it? Boner is on the wishlist, the rest are just lighthearted jokes!

*hope that restores your low opinion of me!* LOL

Hi, happy Friday to ya Sal! ;D

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 3:28pm.

But I would definitely hit and quit this bitch once!
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My goodness Within, who would've thought!

..aaand Jack-You-Off-In-The-Hat's Mom wins the internet!!!

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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:43pm.

My mom, STILL to this day, if her battery goes dead in her car she will ask you to "jack her off". I'm like MOM it's gimme a jump!! She was with me one time and this guy had his hood open and she rolled the window down and asked if he was having trouble... he said his battery was dead. Before I could roll the window up (and was also grabbing her arm going MOM, MOM, NO...) she said WOULD YOU LIKE MY SON TO JACK YOU OFF??? hahahahahahahahahahaa fuckin idiot!

Hooker, please. Olympic swimmers are notorious for being the horz of the Summer Games. You've seen more ass than the toilet seats at Fenway Park. Fly that slut flag high!
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It's LOCHTE time! JEAH!

I feel in my heart MK is doing all this just for me!

LOL
KEEP UP THE DAILY LOCHTE REPORT PLEASE MK!

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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

About the peeing in the pool...notice that they all slurp that pool water & then spit it out especially Phelps. GROSS but lol.

Who says that his endorsement deals were in danger? If anything, Durex and other companies will be making offers. Now, if this story was about a female medalist instead...

:)

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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.

Had to go look up donkey punch......lordy.

Submitted by lislop on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:41pm.
Anyway, there's nothing wrong with one night stands when you're single.
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Agreed. I think it's the kind of thing you do until it's no longer fun (it does get old fast.) I've had two in my whole life. For me, the threat of disease is enough to make me hold out for something more.

I never judge though. Like food, sex is something we all need, and one-night-stands are like McDonald's. You have them late at night, they have no nutritional value, but they're delicious.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

OLOL what Lochte says from here on out, doesn't count. Lmao at the MOM ahahahah I shudder to think what the FATHER would say! Ask him about recent visits to the free clinic everyone AHAHA

But I would definitely hit and quit this bitch once!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Janice Second on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 3:03pm.

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch :
Lochte just admitted to peeing in the pool.
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Ewww. That is the main reason I don't get in pools! What with if full of kids, it's just an enormous toilet.

Um, hate to break it to you, but like every swimmer pees in the pool: http://www.businessinsider.com/nearly-100-of-olympic-swimmers-pee-in-the...

There's chlorine for a reason, and urine is sterile anyways.
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You're not breaking anything to me Janet. I'm fully aware of all that. It's still selfish, disgusting and bad manners when there's a bathroom on the premises.

hahahaha Jack! and yet you picked jack as your moniker...hmmmm...

and I cant with this picture MK All I see is grease stains on a lovely chair that will never come out! NO!
*pretends not to notice* *pretends not to notice*

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Submitted by CindyBman on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:24pm.
I can't remember what the conversation was,but, my husband, Mom, Dad and me were at home eating dinner and we were talking about (dammit, I can't remember) but whatever it was - it wasn't perverted - and then my Dad says, "I pound your mother every night!" Chris and I just about died on-the-spot and Mom and Dad were just eating their dinner, la la la. Well, we quickly told them what that meant!

Another time my Mom said, "I love to toss salad." Okay. Another lesson.

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Your stories were hilarious! LOL.

Love all the parent stories.

Ease up on the trashiness today, MK! Courtney Stodden, this fool and Jenna Jameson all in one day.

Dlisted is reeking of Drakkar Noir and Parfums de Coeur.

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch :
Lochte just admitted to peeing in the pool.
____________________________________________
Ewww. That is the main reason I don't get in pools! What with if full of kids, it's just an enormous toilet.

Um, hate to break it to you, but like every swimmer pees in the pool: http://www.businessinsider.com/nearly-100-of-olympic-swimmers-pee-in-the...

There's chlorine for a reason, and urine is sterile anyways.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:49pm.
She was with me one time and this guy had his hood open and she rolled the window down and asked if he was having trouble... he said his battery was dead. Before I could roll the window up (and was also grabbing her arm going MOM, MOM, NO...) she said WOULD YOU LIKE MY SON TO JACK YOU OFF???

*dead and buried in LOLs forever*

Submitted by M.E. :

Everyone has done the one night stand thing.

__________________________________________________

With all due respect M.E., not "everyone" has. I'm not pointing judgy a finger, but lots of folks have strong morals about sex and sluttiness.

Personally, I care more about how I'll feel about myself if I ever had a one night stand, which is ONE of the things that keeps me in line.
*shrugs*

He looks like The Situation in this picture.
And that's not a compliment.

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

I love 'em young and dumb! One hint, Ryan: you're hotter as a man whore. Your mother's doing you a favor!

Never understood the hype over this guy and Michael Phelps. But I've also never been a fan of huge muscles, with a few exceptions.

Anyway, his statement reminds me of that stupid Internet commercial. "I'm looking for The One" "Then how come your Facebook profile says 'Never Getting Married'?" "er um yeah that was before I met you."

Lol @ Jack's mom...explains so much!

I also died at ESE's comment "jack made $10 that day". Snort!

I needed this today, so thanks y'all!

I need to stop fapping to him at work, the McChickens are gross enough already.

Submitted by lislop on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:41pm.

he lives in FL. he's probably hooked up WITH Tiger Woods

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

This whole thread is making me cry laughing.