VH1 Would....
The Internet collectively barfed earlier this week when the exquisite iguana goddess that is Courtney Stodden announced on Twitter that she's taking time out from her busy schedule of doing nothing to shoot her own reality show. I didn't pay that much attention to that highly important news, because I figured that her reality show would be shot on an iPhone by Doug Hutchison and would probably air after Robin Byrd on Public Access. If that. But now TMZ is saying that after months of Courtney and Doug hitting the ho stroll to beg for a reality show, their fame whore dreams are finally coming true thanks to Vh1. Courtney and Doug have checked into the new season of Vh1's Couples Therapy. It's times like this when I wish that Vh1 had a show called Celebrity Mental Hospital.
TMZ says that 17-year-old Courtney and 52-year-old Doug will work out their "marital problems" in front of the cameras for the next few weeks. Some source (aka Courtney's pimp of a mom) says that Courtney and Doug's marital problems have everything to do with their age difference and all the attention (that they've whored to get) their relationship has gotten.
"Marital problems" is a really funny way of saying, "We just moved Doug's butt plug a little to the right to reach in and pull out some fake problems we can say we have to get on reality TV." Well, the bad news is that the goddess iguana and her gay husband's 15 seconds of fame have been extended to 16. The good news is that at least we'll have a million more GIFs of Courtney looking like a dehydrated lizard having a seizure while trying to catch flies. Think of the positive!
And the next reality show Courtney stars on needs to be an episode of People's Court. Shauna Sand needs to sue that trick for copyright infringement for continuing to stuff her lizard claws in lucite heels. Courtney's toes are always hanging off of her heels, because they want to get as far away as possible from messing with the Empress of Lucite.
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Those Lucite skyscrapers are menace to society. How can ANYONE stand in them, let alone walk?!
Obviously, her parents don’t love her or they wouldn’t have sold her to this creep. The very fact that her own mother, not only stands by but, encourages her own teenage daughter to be paraded shamefully by their pig of a son in law is just too painful to watch.
She has been 17 for quite a while. VH1 sure does scrape the bottom of the barrel. I do give credit to Doug for really marketing this charade and he finally got what he wanted a payday.
F! these two make me miss what's her face and what's his face! make it stop!!! heidi and spencer are like Tom hanks and rita wilson compared to these two. gross. I would take those two idiots any day over these two morons. and I don't ever want to see Hiedi and spencer again.
Submitted by jaariel on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 6:33pm.
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I see that too, he arranges the entire look and the scene, and all she has to do is tan and writhe! lol
Porn iguana should audition for Jersey Shore or one of the Housewives shows. She'd fit in very well. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 4:40pm.
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EXACTLY! If she has any brains, that is precisely what she'll should do! ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Is she still growing taller? How sick is this guy, she is a kid.
Oh in that case. NO! Back to regularly scheduled programming.
VH1! Sucks for giving these guys a show!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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OK, her body is perfect. I even like the dress, in that casual heather gray. If she would just wear it with flip flops and tone down the hair and makeup a bit.
I like crazy people and I like bad television, so I think I'll get some vodka and ice cream and stare at this crap.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
I used to be bewildered by her, ahem, *mature* choices in makeup, hairstyle, & clothing that make her look in her mid-40's. But suddenly it hit me that it makes more sense that DOUG DOES ALL HER STYLING!! He's completely ghey, but also stuck in the 80's, back when her "look" was all the rage.
I can see him doing her makeup & styling her hair every day, with her not really caring, so long as she gets semi-famous & never has to sleep with him. Plus being dumb as a box of rocks doesn't hurt...
Win-Win-Win!
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She is a he and he is a she.
this is fucked up.
Well that's an interesting thought. They could break up and she would write her victim-tell all book, and it turns out he is a micro-managing control freak who is the brains behind the whole operation. Made her his slave in return for making her a star... At the end of the day, just another tawdry hollywood drama.
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 4:22pm.
The public image of the precocious Lolita having her way with the regular Joe is completely different from real life. I
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:02pm.
I get the impression she wears the pants in this marriage and passive, unambitious, dude just lets her talk him into anything.
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The public image of the precocious Lolita having her way with the regular Joe is completely different from real life. I can see these two having scripting sessions with handlers and paps to orchestrate the publicity for their every move - with the ultimate goal being a reality show and publicity. LOL Well they got both didn't they? *UGH*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UGH!!!!!!!!!
*sets up parental block on VH1*
This way I will not get drunken curiosity and be forced to bellyflop off my roof onto the concrete.
glad it'll be on VH1 cuz I haven't tuned into that channel since Megan Wants A Millionaire. that way, I won't be tempted to watch that dreck.
Submitted by DianaDeath on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 1:59pm.
I remember when VH1 was like MTV for old people with Kenny.G and Yanni videos. Such halcyon days!
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I really miss that.
*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*
In Hollywood today, there hasn't been a more serious career cratering than with Doug Hutchinson. He used to get acting gigs a lot, and was on casting directors radar to play heavies & villans; now that he's gotten married to this attention whore & shown his ass to the world, I doubt he'll get much of anything, as he's now considered toxic waste...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
She's been 17 for a couple of years now.
well i hope those of you who were screaming this bitch's name throughout the Jackson posts last week
are happy now.
/trashy evil conniving Jacksons >>>>> stupid trailer trash whore
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I hate his freaky short stubbly legs...
I get the impression she wears the pants in this marriage and passive, unambitious, dude just lets her talk him into anything.
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Submitted by Drita on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 2:00pm.
Wow just when I thought we had gotten rid of these 2. Something tells me that this will be the beginning of what they planned all along :(
Wow just when I thought we had gotten rid of these 2. Something tells me that this will be the beginning of what they planned all along :(
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
― Thomas Jefferson
I remember when VH1 was like MTV for old people with Kenny.G and Yanni videos. Such halcyon days!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
There used to be a time when news of a reality show such as this would make me so upset that I would need to go back to bed for a few weeks and weep for humanity under the covers. Now I just shrug my shoulders and soldier on. What the hell happened to me? I might even take a peak at this mess when it airs. Why am I so numb? What happened to my principles and standards? When did my soul admit defeat and die?
*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 12:22pm.
I'd watch at least once.
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I hate to admit it but I would too (once)...
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...the end
Hasn't this trick been 17 for like a year and a half?? I see them breaking up shortly after her 18th birthday (if it ever happens).
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 12:09pm.
We are teaching girls, get breast implants, dye your hair blonde, take a bunch of skanky pictures and BOOM you can be a television star. UGH. I'm starting to rethink this whole higher education, math degree thing.
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I would suggest you do both. How many math phDs have big fake boobs and blonde extensions? You could be famous for being smart AND slutty-looking. I am thinking 1 million-plus views on your YouTube tutorials and endorsement deals with Texas Instruments.
Amen ESE, amen!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
if this show gets ratings, this world is just begging to be flushed down the toilet.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
She is a drug addicted teen and he is ghey. Of course there might be problems in the "marriage".
Like anyone even watches VH1 anymore. Just another marker on their road to irrelevance.
I still have a hard time thinking they're banging. His creepy child toucher vibe comes off more pre-teen than teen to me. That kid seems like she was born to be sold given that her parents are the ones pimping her out.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
If the lizard bitch did the splits she'd stick to the floor, and that douche bag would need a spatula to lift her up. Now that would be a reality TV show!
I dunno Hekki. I have seen some of her bikini pics and to me with out the fakies and push-up padded bras and spray on abs, she looks like a 12 year old boy. She's thin though.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I am a bit puzzled that she isn't getting work in other people's projects. Maybe she or the husband is too crazy to work with, or they are too demanding.
She strikes me as close to the top of the heap (trash heap) when it comes to reality 'stars'--exhibitionist, egotistical, kinky, self-promoting. And the enhanced body would seem to meet one of the few requirements for reality show participation.
I cannot even look at this "couple" It's like having a spider crawling on you. They creep me out and it sort of pisses me off they are getting show. 2 more no talents. Just what we need.
she's 17, so of course her body's good, but dear gawd, that face. and please stop insulting iguana's by making comparisons. some iguanas have a wise, Yoda-ish look, this 'hobag just looks like a dumb, weathered twat who thinks she landed a winner of a husband.
and she sure did. that said, I might watch once, but I'm pretty much over the "Celebrity" VH1 run of shows. they pretty much all suck and Dr. Drew's become a stupid famewhore...
She has an enviable figure. She looks so sleek and supple. That is a really hard thing to achieve if you dont come by it naturally.
Also she seems like a sweet girl. Not malicious. Dumb and delusional and troubled, but not mean.
I'm surprised there's not a pregnancy test "accidentally" falling out of the bag.
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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.
I'd watch at least once.
@bigorexia: Agreed. I can't dislike women (or rather girls, in this situation) who look like they'd be twenty times more fun than the women who sit around clucking their disapproval.
See: Paz de la Huerta
I can't even laugh at her because at 17 she's practically a child and thus not responsible for her foolishness. I'm saving my scorn for the adults who are enabling and making money from her crazy, mad, sex-crazed behavior.
OurMissC -- the things I would do to that man, you have no idea. RAWWWRRRRR!!! A delectable morsel indeed!
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 11:33am.
LOL AT your signature. HAHAHAHAHAH.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Someone needs to elighten Dougie that he's an OLD, PAUNCHY and IRRELEVANT DOUCHTARD.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
OneLiner -- I agree with your assessment. I came into it thinking Nicole would be really haughty, but she's surpisingly down-to-earth. I think Andrea/Drea is really fug; that's a man, baby. Jessica is really nutty, but Conseco was a real sleazeball.
Louise -- OMG, they will totally be doing the Courtney Stodden character on "The Soup," one of the good reasons for the Iguana Goddess to have a show.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 11:58am.
OurMissC -- I always get tingly every time I see your avie!!!
He is quite a morsel isn't he?
"I don't know her." - Mimi
My standards are pretty low for trashy television but I refuse to watch this.
It makes me sick. We are teaching girls, get breast implants, dye your hair blonde, take a bunch of skanky pictures and BOOM you can be a television star. UGH. I'm starting to rethink this whole higher education, math degree thing. This skank probably makes 5 times what I do. UGH.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
completely ashamed to admit but the Iguana Goddess is impossible not to watch....anyone watch the Ghetto Fabulous Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, that is some over the top ghetto shit, and of course Mob Wives Chiciago is like a bunch of tranny's in bad wigs, those women make Big Ang look like a delicate flower.