England's Finest Rose Is Still A Chaste Flower
Our thoughts and prayers should be with that pug who was rushed to a poison control center after it accidentally swallowed a toxic drop of saliva that dripped out of Kirk Norcross' skank mouth during that kiss. I really hope they make beef-flavored Valtrex tabs.
Jodie Marsh, the luminous rose who sprouted out from a crack in an Essex gutter over 33 years ago, was dating Kirk Norcross, some trick who was in the reality shit show TOWIE, for a quick minute, but they went to their separate fame whore corners after she refused to let his peen dive into her pristine oyster. Everyone knows that Jodie Marsh is as pure as a dew drop sitting on top of a daisy bud and her vagine lips are so pristine that any nun would use them as a prayer cloth. But Kirk Norcross didn't know this and after dating Jodie for two weeks, he put his frustrated dick back in his pants and ran off to Reveal magazine (via The Sun) to cry about how she teased his peen the entire time.
Kirk says that instead of humping his naked body, Jodie used him to hump the cameras and get as much attention out of their relationship as possible. Jodie always tweeted about Kirk and even posed naked with him in some ad for one of her body building products, but she turned him down every time his peen knocked on her labia gates to heaven. 24-year-old Kirk was so disgusted with Jodie's fame whoring ways that he pulled a fame whore move by selling a story about her fame whoring ways.
"Jodie was always teasing me and she'd talk about sex all the time. One day I had enough and texted her asking if we were ever going to have sex. I felt like I was 13 again – going around to a girl's house and just kissing on the sofa. But she said that she’d never sleep with me. So I told her that we should just be friends.
I'm not into the whole celebrity lifestyle, and Jodie really is. All she could talk about were photo shoots and pictures. She was desperate for publicity. I would go round to her house every day and sit there listening to her talk about herself."
It’s all about the fame for her. She hated TOWIE because until that show came out, she was the most famous person to come out of Essex. I'm a 24-year-old boy, and, yes, I wanted to have sex with you – but, now I look back, I realise I only wanted to have sex with the old Jodie Marsh. The one I had posters of on my wall."
Jodie took a break from getting vajazzled with The Queen and she went on Twitter to swat back at Kirk.
Look all banter aside, I'm really hurt. He was a good friend for TEN years. Then he tried to pressure me into sex & sold stories on me :-(
But we learn from every experience. Hopefully this will show girls why NOT to jump into bed with someone too quickly! Real men wait for you.
Yes, it's true that the old Jodie Marsh would bareback fuck a garden hose if it bought her a drink, but the new Jodie Marsh is not like that. The new Jodie Marsh has finally realized that she's the most beautiful woman in the world and will only bareback fuck a garden hose if it buys her a drink AND gets to know her first. That Kirk twat can go screw a rose bush. No, seriously, if he wants to know what it's like to get with Jodie, he should screw a rose bush. It's practically the same thing. The scent of fresh roses will fill his nostrils as he screams out over the sharp stabs to his peen.
And here's Jodie Marsh spreading class and elegance to Barbados on Grand Kadooment Day.
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Klazy
Wait a minute. If he is 24 years old and she supposedly knew him for TEN years, than that would make him 14 and her 23 at the time they met.
Even if they were just friends- ILLEGAL!
Or, maybe their families know each other or something.
my god! I thought Rihanna was just slutty on her own, but it looks like in Barbados, al de wimmins be slutty!
And Jodie fits right in.
Mmmm...this woman looks a little trashy. Kind of surprised she is pulling this "born again" virgin crap. I am assuming she is NOT a virgin. If she is claiming that, then I am afraid I need some kind of proof. Would not believe it in a million years.
Anyway, whatever. Dumpy whore. Don't care. NEXT!
AGame -- oh, god, me, too! Is the whore wearing the shorts giving the message of easy access by leaving the shorts unbuttoned?
Jodie Marsh is ug-lay. Her face is ugly, her body looks like beef jerky, and her feet & toes are disgusting. And I hate that hair or wig color. I can't believe anyone wanted to fuck her. She looks like she'd smell, too.
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:16pm. Team Jodie! Until Adele falls into a barrel of crack Miss Marsh is my favorite English madwoman
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It's a 3-way between her,Chloe Simms & the orange heffer from TOWIE who's dating the pudgy guy (Arg?).
So much tackiness, so little time.
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Oh come on! How can this be true? And if it was, screw that, peen teasing is pointless. It was mean of him to sell the story but she really should have said no, and been done with it, if she wasn't interested.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by JTROS on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:52pm.
If you look in my directions I'm fucking wooed. done. and done.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:42pm.
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I tried both of those moves on my hubs the other day and he was offended. He wanted to be "wooed" instead. Lame.
Submitted by JTROS on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:38pm.
Hey, I know how to talk to the ladies... they're usually more receptive if you slap em on the ass when you ask the question...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:24pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:14pm.
LOL... yea, I don't get why the whole texting "hey, are you gonna fuck me or what?" didn't work out as planned... That's usually my "go to" move.
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Swoon. Who said that romance is dead??
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:14pm.
LOL... yea, I don't get why the whole texting "hey, are you gonna fuck me or what?" didn't work out as planned... That's usually my "go to" move.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Stop right now, the best thing to come out of Essex is the fabulous David Gandy.
Oh Jack, my love!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:13pm.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:10pm.
Ohhhh, but I think you did...
*takes a ride on your perennial falcon*
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Perennial Falcon LMFAO!!
Team Jodie! Until Adele falls into a barrel of crack Miss Marsh is my favorite English madwoman.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
He's hot. I'd do him.
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Like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimsonweed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:12pm.
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:) :P
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:03pm.
Thxs Datura but the main pic on my screen is just Jodie. Idky. *shrugs*
He's very ugly and it serves him right. Typical douche.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:09pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:08pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:59pm.
I need an Open Post. My best friend just phoned me in tears and is ready to call off her wedding at the end of the month. I need advice!
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Well I do have my Masters in Perineal Massage (now) so I'm sure I could give you some good advice.
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LOL!
Wait till you get your Ph.D and have to "prove your thesis". May I watch?
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Watch!? I figured you'd be travelling with me on all my Demonstrations and lectures:)
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:10pm.
Ohhhh, but I think you did...
*takes a ride on your perennial falcon*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Whamo- wait for you pass out? Bwahaha! I'm rolling!!!
ugh - i hate when ppl leave the tops of their jeans unbuttoned like that. classy.
close your damn pants.
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
Jodie Marsh totally played his dumb ass. Check out the pics from this article in The Sun. The best part of this is that she got him to wear lipstick and curlers. Hahahahahaha! http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/4463040/Jodie-Marsh-poses-w...
Damnit, Jack! I didn't see you were here!
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:09pm.
LOL @ Whamo. I'm sure you have a PHD in Perineal Massage!
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Oh, snap, gurl!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:48pm.
"Real men wait for you."
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Ya,they wait for you to pass out!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:08pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:59pm.
I need an Open Post. My best friend just phoned me in tears and is ready to call off her wedding at the end of the month. I need advice!
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Well I do have my Masters in Perineal Massage (now) so I'm sure I could give you some good advice.
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LOL!
Wait till you get your Ph.D and have to "prove your thesis". May I watch?
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Dark-sided!
LOL @ Whamo. I'm sure you have a PHD in Perineal Massage!
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:01pm.
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:59pm.
I need an Open Post. My best friend just phoned me in tears and is ready to call off her wedding at the end of the month. I need advice!
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Well I do have my Masters in Perineal Massage (now) so I'm sure I could give you some good advice.
ahahahha the kids in the last thumb area all like "dem whities be crazee, mon!''
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
Better photo now!
And perineal massage is probably why I never tore, giving birf. I swear by midwives. Thems granola women know a thing or two.
My midwifery experience....quelle nightmare!!
LMAO @ Whamz!
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:36pm.
Uh, my little Whamsicle, what are you doing later?
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Why I'm studying for my perineal massage Masters coincidentally
Submitted by guest on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:55pm.
Where's the pug pic?
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The little fella looking up at the two of them kissing in the main picture.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
I dont get why errbody's grossed out by perineal massage. I'm pretty sure I get one, purposefully or not, often in sexy times - and love it!
I need an Open Post. My best friend just phoned me in tears and is ready to call off her wedding at the end of the month. I need advice!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:39pm.
Still probably more pleasurable then it was to have my OB manually stretch my cervix.
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*whimpers*
Whhhyyyyyyyyyy??!?!?!?!??
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:28pm.
Is he 24 now? He looks about 34, judging from the forehead wrinkles.
And he waited ten years for a crack at THAT? Is he that ugly? He looks like he could get better quality pussy than Jodie Marsh, at the very least.
(Sorry, Migraineuse)
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Actually, he looks okay in other pictures. Not my type, but no one is going to run screaming when they see him on the street:
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=kirk+norcross&FORM=HDRSC2
Maybe it's a bad picture? Bad lighting?
And if she was friends with him when he was 14 and she was 23, and he really wanted to have sex with her...ick.
Evidently, y'all don't know real beauty when you see it... I'd tap that until I was drained and dehydrated (aka - a good 10 minutes)...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Where's the pug pic?
He wanted to fuck that? That said No?
I know the U.S. has hoisted alot of trash on the world, but the U.K. is catching up. Don't know whats worse - this thing or that Katie Price skank.
"Real men wait for you."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! that's rich.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
ed by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:43pm.
Now why would you be wanting to see a taint massage?
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Because you're John Travolta? That's the only answer I could think of... =D
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 3:33pm.
What IS that thing? And why is IT relevant?
Oh, and I so don't get the shrieking red dye job trend. It's more slit your throat than cutting edge.
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I have the feeling she was going for "Jessica Rabbit" and ended up with "Ronald McDonald's Crazy-eyed Sister."
Her pug is cute though.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Now why would you be wanting to see a taint massage?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012